The next couple of weeks flew by, I was seeing a shrink that specialises in PTSD every day after I drop Henry off at school and then would go about normal household duties until it was time to pick him up then with the help of Garcia we would sit down and organise his birthday party. Emily had rang and let me know that she wouldn't be able to make it because of some stuff that was happening over there that had to do with International Security and wasn't allowed to leave her post, I don't actually think she was even allowed to ring me but knowing her she found a way around it just to let me know. She had a quick chat to Henry letting him know and even though he was a bit disappointed he understood that there was no way she could be here in time but made her promise that she would come over soon.
We were sitting down in the living room going over party RSVPs with Garcia when he turned to me and asked more about the story
"So what happened after you went back to work mommy?" he asked and it always surprised me how he randomly would come out with the questions but I knew what he was talking about, even Garcia new where we were up to.
"Well not a whole hell of a lot. I had to get back into the groove of working and then when I would finish I would come home to look after you and on the nights that your dad would work I'd spend time trying to catch up on all the case files that I would bring home. Didn't really leave much time to socialize with anyone apart from your Aunt Pen here who would continuously just show up anytime she wanted" I laughed while earning a scowl from Pen
"Well if someone would have taken up my offer of going to the park I wouldn't've had to come over all the time to see my baby" she laughed
"Anyway, so I was busy with you, getting back into you and spending what little free time I had after that with your dad and the beautiful woman was dating her new girlfriend so we hardly saw each other unless it was at work and the only time we spent outside of work was if we were away on a case and somehow we had to share a room" I looked over to Penelope who had a massive smile on her face
"It wasn't my fault most of the hotels that were close to the precincts didn't have enough rooms for everybody." She smiled and took a sip of her wine
"Yea whatever" I smiled then turned back to Henry "and that's how things went for the first couple of months of me being back, until we had a case that still haunts me and turned me off pork"
**Flashback**
We had been called to the weirdest case where a man in Detroit ran through the a border control hut leading into Canada and the suspect claimed to have killed all these people and would only talk to us. The case just got weirder and weirder as time went on and after two days we had managed to track down the suspects, turned out a doctor was paralysed from the neck down and was getting his brother to help try and fix him by killing homeless people and prostitutes then after taking what they needed from the victims they would cut them up and feed them to their pigs, then they would eat the pigs. The only evidence that there was even any victims were over 87 pairs of shoes in a bin next to the pig sty. We managed to save a victim but the brothers had died, both shot, one by the SWAT team and the other by the man that had called us in. The plane ride back home was pretty sombre after having to put an army ranger in jail for murder even after all the good he had done, looking for his sister, looking out for the homeless and not to mention all the good he had done in Iraq. I was sitting at the back of the plane, looking through the pictures of Henry on my phone, trying to forget the bad in the world, how people can manipulate others and just trying to remember the good in the world when Emily came over, handing me a coffee
"I know it's late but I figure you could use this, I don't think any of us will be sleeping for a while" she smiled and sat down across from me
"Thanks, I'm just trying to remember that not everyone is like that, I'm definitely not eating pork any time soon" I take a sip of my coffee, still flipping through my phone
"Ditto, I love me some steak so I'm really hoping there's no case involving cows any time soon" she smiled and I returned it with a weak smile, knowing she is making a joke just to make me feel better
"Alright, I'll keep that in mind for when I go through my files" I joke back then take another sip of coffee and sigh and can feel her studying me
"What's up Jay? I know this was a hard case but you look more lost than usual, hell you didn't even look this lost with the anthrax case and that was very close to home"
"Oh I was very lost during that case, I so just wanted to ring up Will and tell him not to go outside but after that case and any other tough ones I know that as soon as I get home I can run up the stairs and cuddle Henry and I feel like everything is ok again and I centre myself for the next day of case files of mayhem and murder. I can't do that this time, Will has taken Henry to New Orleans to visit his Aunt and Uncle for their wedding anniversary and I just feel off" I said looking out the window
"Well what did you do to centre yourself before Henry came along?" she asked and for the first time since she sat down I looked over to her, seeing the concern in her eyes
"I'd go to the bar around the corner from my apartment, drink, play darts, dance, play pool just anything that made me feel a bit more normal by doing what most others would after a hard days work"
"Well Hotch gave us the day off tomorrow, lets do that. I'm up for it, Hanna's working tonight anyway and I'm sure all the others are up for a few drinks, I don't know if anyone would verse you at darts though, we don't like to get our asses kicked by a petite young thing like yourself" she smiled
"Oh really? Chicken are we?" I laughed knowing how much she hates to be called chicken
"Oh you're on now Jareau" she laughed and got up to ask the others if they were up for it. Everyone was except for Hotch who just wanted to go home and we all understood, with Haylie and Jack in Witness Protection he wasn't in the party mood. After landing we all went back to the BAU, having such a long flight we all managed to get our reports done on the plane so after dropping them off to Hotch's office we all headed to the bar that over the years had become our local.
After a few rounds I was feeling pretty tipsy and was getting in the mood to dance so I grabbed Emily's and Garcia's hands and dragged them to the dance floor, the music was pumping and it felt pretty good to be free for a night. After a while Garcia ended up dancing with Morgan and it ended up being just me and Emily on the floor, we managed to keep a little bit of distance to start with but as the crowd started becoming bigger we ended up getting closer and soon my hands were around her neck and hers were on my waist both swaying to the music and I slowly moved a bit closer and laid my head in the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent and for the first time in a year I felt whole. I felt her doing the same and I slowly leant back and looked into her eyes, in that moment the whole bar disappeared and it was just her and me swaying away and she slowly started to lower her head as I raised mine, just as our lips were about to touch we broke were pulled back into reality by her phone vibrating in her pocket. She quickly flashed me a smile to say sorry then walked off to answer as I just stood there trying to control my beating heart. Eventually I managed to pull myself away from just standing in the middle of the dance floor like a fool and make my way to the bar to grab a beer then walked back to the table.
The rest of the night was going pretty well until I ran into Emily in the surprisingly empty bathroom then it got a little better.
"Hey" she said when she saw me in the mirror "having fun?"
"Yea, its been pretty good getting out of the house. Yourself?" I asked, touching up my make up
"Yea sure am, haven't had this much fun for a while, Hanna doesn't really like going out so when we do it's usually only for a couple of hours" she smiles and grabs my lipstick to touch up hers
"Oh, well that sucks, you're a blast when we go out. Was that her that rang before?" I asked trying not to seem too interested
"Um, yea. She had a quick break. Look about before JJ-" she started before I interrupted
"It was a lapse in judgement, we got caught up in the moment" I said, knowing what she was going to say
"Oh yea, I mean you're with Will and I'm with Hanna. I'm sorry for making a move, it just felt"
"Right" I finished off for her. I looked up at her and saw her nod "I'm so sorry how things turned out Em" I whisper
"Yea, me too. Maybe on day things will work out for us, but we both know that that day isn't today or tomorrow or any day soon, but one day maybe" she whispers back and then she turned and left and I was once again left trying to control my racing heart.
As I walked back out to join the group I overheard Garcia asking Emily about Hanna and I just couldn't take it at that time so I went and got another beer and joined a game of darts that was going on and after beating all the guys that were playing, I decided to head home, my buzz was gone and I just wanted to go curl up in bed. As I went to say goodbye to everyone, Garcia offered to catch a cab and stay the night with me so I wasn't lonely
"So gumdrop how's things? I hardly got to talk to you tonight" she said once we got to my place
"not too bad, Henry is just as gorgeous as ever and you know how work is" I smile while we walk up the stairs to my bedroom
"that's good. How's Will?" she asks and I can tell she's getting at something
"He's good. How's thing with you? How's Kevin?" I say trying to change the topic to something else
"Everyone's good. Sweetie you know you can talk to me about anything right?" she says and places a her hand on mine
"Yea I know, There's no problem, just stuff I have to live with" I say and give her hand a squeeze
"Like Emily?" she says and I look at her "I saw your moment on the dance floor"
"Oh.. yea like Emily. I mean I know things happened for a reason, if we hadn't caught her kissing Serena then I wouldn't have gone running to Will when she told me to and I wouldn't have Henry, I can't imagine my life without him in it anymore, but things escalated with Will so quickly. I kind of knew he had feelings for me and I took advantage of that, I mean I do love him, he's a great guy, a great father, great cop, but it's not the same love as what I had with Emily. When I was in her arms tonight, I felt everything click in place but I know that any chance we had together is over and now I've got to live with it" I said and wiped a tear away
"Oh my poor gumdrop" she wrapped her arms around me "why don't you talk to Will and then try and win Emily back? You've got to be happy too Jay"
"Because I can't break Will's heart, break up this family, take Henry away from his father and Emily is happy with Hanna now. She said that maybe one day things could change and that's what I have to hope for." I said, tears running faster down my face
"But you have to be happy too, you can't just keep putting everyone else above yourself" Garcia said whilst schooching closer to me and pulling me in for a hug
"I know, maybe one day" I give her a small smile and return her hug "anyway I don't know about you but I'm beat, goodnight Pen" I say and close my eyes
"You deserve a Happily Ever After too my sweet" I heard Garcia whisper before I fell into a deep slumber, my dreams consisting of Happily Ever After with Emily
**End Flashback**
"Did that One Day ever happen Mommy?" Henry asked whilst playing with his Batman toy
"No, we did have a One Night but that doesn't happen for a while yet but don't worry I'm still working on the One Day or my Happily Ever After as your Aunt Pen reckons." I say looking over to Pen giving her a smile
"Well I think whatever you're planning will work Mom, sounds like the beautiful woman really loved you and if she's smart she still will" he looked up at me and smiled
"When did you become such a grown up?" I laugh
"Well I am 6 this weekend" he smiles then jumps on me and laughs as I start tickling him "Hey Mommy do you think you could text Aunty Emily and as her is she can Skype soon? I miss her and want to talk to her" he asked, giving me his famous Jareau pout
"Sure sweetie, it's still really early in the morning there so I'll message her later, but don't forget she is really busy so she might not be able too"
"I know, I just want to say hello" he said, getting up and walking into his room
"You know he's up to something" Garcia mentions when he shut his door
"I know, I would be worried but he's just too cute when he goes all mysterious." I smile and start picking up the RSVP's that had scattered over the couch during our little tickle fight
"Want me to find out? I'm sure it's something that I could help with, actually you don't have a say, it's my fairy godmother duty to know what that little man is up to" she rambles as she jumps up before I could even protest and walks into his room, leaving me to clean up and be a tad worried now that Garcia has herself involved in whatever he is planning.
Next up is Henry telling Garcia his plans and his chat with Emily.