Title: The Second Coming
Author: Meghan aka KRAMMIT THE FROG
Rating: PG-13
Summary: It's been 5 years since the events of "Dogma". Bethany lives with her 4 year-old daughter in Illinois, Jay and Silent Bob still hang outside of Dante's store in New Jersey, Serendipity has take in an apprentice muse who might be bisexual, Rufus STILL is overlooked as the 13th Apostle, and Metatron keeps bickering with the Angel of Purity who just happened to go Gothic. Everything's been okay. But Bartleby and Loki have escaped from hell as demons looking to corrupt the new savior aka Bethany's daughter. Can the old gang save the world, again?
Author's Notes: For some reason I want Metatron and Bethany to hook up. Don't ask me why. Normally, I would say more curses to make it feel like a Kevin Smith original, but my faith and upbringing has taken over and I decided not to say the *F* word in this. Sorry folks.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters except Rory, Anish, and Margaret. The rest belong to the master himself, Kevin Smith.
Feedback: Yes please!
It's 1:30 AM in Indiana. Maggie is sleeping at the foot of the bed while Bethany is leaning on the headboard. Jay and Silent Bob were out getting a six-pack of Coors Light. Rufus and Rory are sitting on the other bed, discussing the birth of Christ.
"How can you be sure that there were really Sheppards at the birth? While only Luke writes about them, both Matthew and a non-biblical writer, James, both wrote about the Three Wise men." Rufus explained. Bethany listened closely to their conversation. She had been interested lately about Jesus' life. Rory just shook her head.
"There were both Sheppards and Wise Men. I was there. And I was the angel who told them about the birth of Christ. It took while for the Wise men to get there. Jesus was like, 1-½ years old when they actually got to Bethlehem. I mean, back then if you weren't an angel, it took you awhile to get from one city to another, let alone Babylonia to Judea! You know that Apostle." The Angel responded. Bethany thought about the fact that the Three Wise Men visited Jesus. She then replied,
"Wait, wait. If the Three Wise Men actually came to Bethlehem, then that means they met with King Herod. Which means…" Bethany cut herself off. She remembered learning about this in Catholic school. That whole week, Bethany had felt mortally horrified.
"The Slaughter of the Innocence. I remember it as if it were yesterday." Rory commented.
We now see a flashback. It's Bethlehem at the time of Herod the Great. Immediately, we see a spear being driven into the heart of an infant baby. A loud cry comes from his young mother. It's clearly The Slaughter of the Innocence. We then see The Metatron and Rory standing there, watching. As we hear more cries come from the infants, Rory breaks into tears and cries in Metatron's arms. The scene is so intense, that even The Metatron looks away.
Rory snaps out of her memory. She clears her throat a bit. She glances at Maggie and asks,
"Have you told Maggie yet?" Bethany stares at her and shakes her head a little at Rory's question. She herself then asked,
"Told her what?" Unbeknownst to everyone in the room, Maggie was starting to wake up. As soon as she was halfway awake, she heard Rory say,
"That she's God's only Daughter, the sister of Christ himself. When did you plan on telling her?" Bethany looks down and sighs.
"I don't know, maybe when she's-" Before she can finish her comment, Maggie weakly asks,
"What?" Everyone stares at her. Tears start to form at her eyes. As Bethany tries to hug Maggie, she leaps off the bed and heads for the door. Rufus got up and tried to stop her. Maggie saw him, stopped, held out her hands, and cried out,
"GO AWAY!" Suddenly, Rufus flew back into the motel wall. Rory then ran over to check on him. As Maggie approaches the door, it opens and there stands Jay and Silent Bob, back from the liquor store. Maggie easily goes past them, mainly do to them doing nothing to stop her. She disappears from site. Bethany angrily looks at them.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP HER!?" She shouted at them. Jay scoffs at her and replies,
"She's a mature person, let her make her own decisions." Bethany face goes red with even more anger and shouts at them,
"SHE'S FIVE YEARS-OLD, YOU MORON!" Jay jumps back and meekly says,
"I said she's mature, not old." Bethany screams and runs out to find Maggie. After a few seconds of silence, Rory questions,
"Okay, did we just loose both Scions in under 30 seconds?"
We see Maggie running through the forest behind the motel. She hears her mother calling for her. This made her run faster. Just as she turned at a corner, she fell through thin ice. As she sunk down, Bethany arrived and called out her name. When she hears no response, Bethany immediately runs away. Maggie, meanwhile, can't swim and is slowly drowning. Just as her fate was about to be sealed, someone pulls her out. There stands The Metatron with Maggie in his arms. He pats her on the back and immediately she starts coughing up water. Metatron lays her on the ice.
"Running away won't solve your problems, ya know. Don't they teach you that in Blue's Clues or something like that?" He comments. Maggie spits out the last of the water in her system, while crying.
"It can't be true. It just can't. Metatron, tell Rory and Mommy that it can't be true. God can't be my daddy. He just can't be." She whimpered. Metatron saw her shivering like mad hell so he picked her up again and tucked her in under his jacket.
"Ah, Maggie, that I cannot do. I can't change the truth. Better you found out now than later. If we told you any later in life, you would've been even more upset." He explained. Maggie wipes her eyes and says,
"I told you I'd see you in a couple of days." The Metatron laughed at her comment. To that, he responded,
"Actually, I visited your mum just yesterday." The little girl smiled.
"I said I would see you in a couple of days. I never said anything about Mommy." She told him. Metatron gave a little smile and said,
"Clever…girl. A bit nippy out here, isn't it? I say we go somewhere with a bit more…class." He then snaps his fingers.
Flash to the Olive Garden in Staten Island, New York. At a table, there sits Bethany, Rufus, Rory, Jay, Silent Bob, and Maggie, who was sitting next to her mom and was still quite soaked.
"Maggie? Oh my God, don't you EVER do that to Mommy again!" Bethany said and hugged her daughter. The rest of the gang looks around the restaurant.
"Now that I got everyone's attention, I say we get down to business." Metatron says as he sits at the table. Before Rufus can speak, the seraphim cuts in,
"Apostle, shut up. I see we're still two muses short." Rory looks toward The Metatron.
"Any news from Heaven?" She asks. Metatron sighs and replies,
"Besides God being extremely pissed…yes, actually. We have reason to believe that she maybe on Earth. I suggest that both you and me head back up stairs." Rory then became paler than she usually is. Bethany looked at the angels and questioned,
"Who's 'she'?" Rory looked down and shook her head, simply saying,
"It's nothing. Nothing super important. A-anything else, Metatron?" Metatron thought for a moment.
"Well, just so you know, I just transferred all of you from Indiana to New York. All you need to do now is take a bus to Red Bank." He said. Rufus then asked,
"How are we gonna get anywhere near Red Bank? I mean, Pope John Paul III is gonna be there tomorrow and it is gonna be packed. You know that." Metatron took in a deep breath and commented,
"Apostle, you know better than to question the plan of God. She'll get you there some how." Meanwhile, Jay had been studying Silent Bob's hand movements. Finally, Jay asked Metatron,
"Why don't we talk to this Pope guy and tell him our situation? If Lunchbox over here is right, then that John Paul III dude should be able to feel Bethany and Midget's 'divine presence'." The table sat in silence.
"Are you sure that both of them are prophets?" Bethany asked. Metatron, continuing to stare at Jay and Silent Bob, merely said,
"One must translate." After a few minutes, Rory commented,
"Holy crap, we're like the Corleone family! God's Vito, Metatron's Clemenza, I'm Tom Hagen, Bethany's Michael, Rufus is Fredo, Maggie's Anthony [Michael's son…for those who haven't seen The Godfather], Jay's Sonny, and Silent Bob is Luca Brasi! Omigod, Mario Puzo was so a prophet!" Bethany just laughed at her insight.
A/N: Sorry I didn't get any of the other's actions. I have relatives coming up and it's like 11:34 PM here in New Jersey. I'll try to write another chapter soon.