Yawi: Could it be? A mid-month update? On Holidays by Bakura? Is this even possible?
Leon: I have no idea. I haven't been around here long enough to know the norms. Is it?
Yawi: ...No.
Hikari: ((smiles)) YES, it's possible! I'm just lazy.
Yawi: ((looks at the gathering mob)) Yeah, you might want to run.
Hikari: Okay, but you have to do the disclaimer! ((starts running from people who are mad at her laziness))

Yawi: Sure, sure. Hikari of the Moon does not own Yugioh. Get over it. And if you gave the information Hikari wanted, your gift will be given to the characters now! You'll be part of the legend forever!

Ah, love is in the air!

"AAAAH!! LOVE PARASITES! THEY'RE IN THE AIR AND THEY'LL EAT MY BRAINS!"

...Maybe I should rephrase that. It's almost Valentine's Day here in Domino and everyone is excited. If they're not excited about getting chocolate, they're happy about giving chocolate; if they're not happy about that, they're happy about eating chocolate by themselves, or if they're allergic to chocolate, they're happy about just being around in the season of love. Or, if they're Bakura and Marik, they're happy about screaming and lighting stuff on fire.

"Marik, there are no such things as love parasites. Shut up, bud." Bakura tried to smack Marik, who ducked and laughed.

"Even if they aren't, I want to know why there's so much chocolate!" Marik waved his arm to show what he meant. They were in the mall, and practically every shop had chocolate in the window. Even the chocolate stores, and that, for some reason, shocked Bakura.

"There is a lotta chocolate because...umm...Well, let's ask someone!" Bakura grabbed Marik's arm and dragged him through legions of frantic shoppers into the nearby chocolate shop. He smiled brightly at a female salesperson. "Excuse me, madam, but my dear friend here was wondering why there was so much chocolate around this week." At the 'are-you-kidding' look he received, he added, "He's from out of the country."

"OH!" She blushed. "Well, there's so much chocolate because it's almost Valentine's Day, sweetie." She winked flirtatiously. "Everyone wants some for their special girl."

Marik nodded. "Oh. Thanks!" He smiled and dug around in his pocket for something. He pulled out a five-dollar bill and handed it to the saleswoman. "Buy yourself some chocolate."

She smiled widely and put the money in her pocket. "Thank you, honey!"

Our boys turned and began to fight their way out of the store.

---

"Okay, so basically, this is like every other gift-giving holiday...except you give mushy stuff like chocolate and hearts?"

"Give hearts?" Marik blinked. "You mean like-"

Ryou sighed. "No, I don't mean like they rip their hearts out of their chests and give it to the girls, because I know that's what you're thinking, and Bakura, your summary was terrible." Ryou stood up from his couch and crossed to in front of the TV. "Look, guys, why don't you come to my school around lunch break on Valentine's Day? Everyone will be giving out their valentines then and maybe you'll understand why this is so important to people!"

Bakura glared up at him. He stood as well and pouted angrily. "You know how I feel about schools, Ryou."

"Public school is nothing like boarding school. Domino High is nothing like KAB was!"

"Yeah, public school is free and KAB cost money," Marik stated.

Bakura thought for a moment. Then pondered. Then mulled over the idea. Then he contemplated it. And finally, after running out of ways to say 'think', he said, "Oh fine. We'll go to your stupid school! But only for the lunch break!"

Ryou smiled and nodded. "Good."

"Now move out of the way!" Marik shouted. "I can't see the TV!"

---

Valentine's Day was the day after the next, so it wasn't long before Bakura and Marik, decked out in fancy leather, strutted onto Domino High School's lunch ground, which was outside. Well, the good one was outside anyway. It was basically just a bunch of picnic tables on a wide grass lawn, but it was immensely popular with the students. Marik saw Malik and Ryou sitting on a picnic table being mobbed by leagues of girls. "Hey, is that his language arts teacher?" Bakura asked, pointing at one of the women in the mob.

Marik shrugged. "I don't pay attention to stuff like that."

"You mean anything Malik says?"

"Yeah, stuff like that."

Ryou, looking up after writing his name on yet another a valentine and handing it to yet another love-struck girl, saw the two yamis. He rose to his feet on top of the table and yelled, "Excuse me, ladies?" They all looked up at being called 'ladies' and started listening intently when they saw it was Ryou. "Thank you. Can you all please find some other men to gather around? I would like to speak with my friends at this moment in time." The women, after hearing Ryou's fancy speech, started to head off to other guys. He smiled to himself and waved the yamis over.

"He can get them to come over here just as easily as he can send them away," Malik said, lounging on the table with a smirk. "He's a real lady's man."

Ryou glared mildly at Malik before turning to the yamis. "So, you boys came." He faked a smirk at them. "Welcome to school on my day! The day of love! And believe me, most of the girls at this school-"

"-And the next ones over-" Malik added.

"-are completely in love with me. Must be my charm and good looks."

"And not your modesty at all, right Ryou?" Malik asked sarcastically.

Ryou looked over at Malik and smirked for real. "No, I'm pretty sure they think I'm modest."

Malik laughed, sat up, and jumped off the table. "So, yamis, are you ready to understand the female mind?"

Marik and Bakura just stared at him. "Woah, woah! No one ever said anything about 'understanding the female mind'!"

Ryou jumped off the table too. "Well, girls are a major part of Valentine's Day."

"How big a part?"

"...About fifty percent."

"I thought chocolate was fifty percent!"

"No, chocolate is fifty percent of what you give to the girls-"

"-Excluding a valentine." Malik added.

"Right, excluding a valentine."

Marik raised his hand. "I have a question!" Ryou nodded at him. "I know it's Valentine's Day, but...what's a valentine?"

Ryou told him, "A normally heart-shaped piece of paper with romantic or friendly stuff written on it."

"Hey," Malik said, "That's not something these two would normally come across, now is it?"

Ryou laughed. "No, it's not!"

Bakura yelled, "HEY! I thought this holiday was about love and GOOD emotions! Not evil like that!"

"I reserve the right to be evil at least ONCE a year! And I'm cashing that in NOW!" Ryou snapped.

Bakura looked at him with pride. "You're evil! I'm so proud of you!"

Ryou laughed once again and ushered the yamis with him into the crowd of teenagers. "Okay, so a good tip is that if you don't like like a girl, don't give something to them unless it's a store-bought valentine. Those are a lot less romantic, so she won't get the wrong idea. A second tip is to take any gifts girls give you, but don't look too excited about it unless you like like her."

A pretty blue-haired girl tapped Ryou on the shoulder. "Excuse me?"

He looked over at her and smiled. "Yes?"

She blushed a dark red. "...Here." She handed him a thin square present. "Happy Valentine's Day, Ryou." With that, she ran off to her friends, who gathered around her and congratulated her on her nerve.

Ryou looked over at his friends. "I hope you were taking notes."

Marik just stared at him. Bakura blinked once at the confidence Ryou was giving off. Malik leaned over to the two of them and whispered, "If I had a lighter, I'd light his arrogant little hair on fire!"

While Ryou unwrapped his gift, Marik asked, "Since when have you known what air-o-gent means?"

"Since last Tuesday." Malik said proudly.

"YES!"

They looked over at Ryou, who had just shouted. He looked back at them and smiled brightly. "She gave me that CD I wanted!"

The three of them gave him blank looks.

"You know, The Best? By T.A.T.U.? The CD I put by name on my Christmas list? Three times? And no one got for me?"

Even after all that, they gave him blank stares and he sighed. "Just shut up, all of you."

---

Ten minutes later, with Bakura showing off his new cell phone case and the duct-tape rose now pinned to his shirt, the yamis had little more understanding of the holiday than they had last week. So Bakura finally had to stop and ask, "Ryou, what are we really doing here?"

"What do you mean?" He asked back.

"We can't just be here to learn about Valentine's Day!"

Ryou sighed and waved them all to a nearby table. Once they were all seated, he sighed again. "Okay, I did have an ulterior motive for bringing you guys here."

"I KNEW IT!" Marik shouted. "Hand over the five bucks you owe me."

Malik grumbled, reached into his pocket, and handed five dollars to Marik.

"I asked you guys to come because I needed you guys here to get the valentines people wanted to give you. I was NOT going to bring them all home myself." Ryou smirked and stood up on the table, dragging Malik up with him. "And now, I deliver you to torture." He cleared his throat and yelled, "HEY GIRLS!"

All the girls, and a few guys interested by the commotion, looked over at him.

"ORBIS BAKURA AND MARIK ISHTAR ARE HERE!"

Ryou, still dragging Malik, jumped off the far side of the table, leaving his and his friend's yamis to deal with the hoards of girls that had crowded around them.

---

Thirty minutes later, the two yamis had piles of paper hearts, half-eaten boxes of chocolates, and empty boxes of those candy hearts with writing on them stacked on the table. All the girls had left by then, leaving the two men to try and figure out exactly why so many girls had mobbed them. But there was still one girl, hiding behind an oak tree, who hadn't given her gift yet. She wanted to, and with her bubbly friend's encouragement, she finally headed over to the yamis' picnic table.

"Umm, excuse me, Marik?"

The two looked up from reading one of the countless valentines to see her. Bakura did a double take; she looked familiar somehow. She blushed and handed Marik a rectangle with a rounded top. Wrapped in Valentine paper, of course. "Happy Valentine's Day. I hope you like it." She blushed deeper and turned to run.

"Hey!"

She looked back and saw it was Bakura who had shouted. He had finally realized why she was familiar. "You wouldn't happen to know a secretary for the Ghost of Christmas Present, would you?"

She just stared at him and ran back to her friend. When her friend asked her how it went, she replied, "He's really cute, but his friend is crazy. Like, psycho crazy."

Meanwhile, back with the guys, Marik shook the present. "I wonder what it is..."

"Why don't you unwrap it?"

"But that would ruin the surprise!"

Bakura groaned. "Marik, open it."

Marik nodded and started to tear off the wrapping paper. It went flying everywhere and made Bakura wonder exactly how many layers of wrapping paper that girl used! Marik finally got all of it off and gasped when he saw it. "It's...it's..."

"It's a toaster."

"IT'S BEAUTIFUL!" He hugged it tightly. "IT'S SO SHINEY!"

Bakura sighed. "It's metal. It'll burn y-Wait, do you think we could toast some of our valentines in that?"

"THAT'D BE AWESOME!"

---

"She gave you a plane ticket to Egypt?"

"Yeah. I think she wants me to go back where I came from."

"Maybe."

Bakura and Marik slammed a bag onto the table. "Know what's in this?" Bakura asked.

"No," Malik said, still holding his ticket, "I don't. Care to tell us?"

"More paper, chocolate wrappers, and small, empty cardboard boxes than you could ever get on your own."

Marik smiled. "And we're going to put it all in my new toaster!"

"So Happy stinkin' Valentine's Day!"

And the two happy yamis walked off, bag in Bakura's hands, toaster in Marik's. Ryou and Malik called the fire department to warn them.

Once they got off the phone, Ryou asked Malik if he thought those two had learned anything about Valentine's Day.

Malik said back, "I think they learned how to get free stuff from girls."

"Anything about love?"

"Yeah. That you have a big head about it."

Malik learned just then that Ryou has a small temper.

Hikari: ((comes to a stop with Yawi and Leon)) Yeah, apparently the mob didn't care too much after getting this update.
Yawi: But will they reform to mob you because of this chapter?
Hikari: I hope not. We only have two more left!
Leon: Thank goodness. But why don't you people review?
Hikari: ...And not join the angry mob.