Summary:: AU-About 2 years after PTM. Obi-wan is having to deal without his Master, who is still alive, and training Anakin.
Disclaimer:: I don't own StarWars, I'm not getting money off of this.
Special Thanks to:: Thank you to all those reviews to make me feel guilty enough to keep going with this story. I am very sorry for the enormous delay between this and the last chapter. Please forgive me! I'll try to write more often I promise. Please let me know what you think so far. You guys are a big reason why I keep going.
" text " = normal/verbal talking
italics = flashbacks
'text' = talking through a bond/force communication.
_____________________________________________________________
Dead Ringer
"How long have I been in this storm,
So overwhelmed by the oceans shapeless form,
Waters getting harder to tread,
With these waves crashing over my head" - Storm, Lifehouse
Chapter Eleven :: Darkness Grows Nearer
He had arrived too late at the palace, Kika had been taken by Xie-kun and Sedriss Satal had been murdered in the hangar bay.
Obi-wan sat motionless in the lounge of the ship, his eyes hallow as he looked over the hidden lifeless body. Several times he had pulled back the layer of cloth, burning Jace's pain in his memory. To see her this way would bring Navari to his knees.
He had failed. Failed so miserably.
For hours he had sat in the cold woods, releasing the feeling of utter agony into the force, clutching the padawan's disfigured body.
He bowed his head, bringing his hands to cuff his face. He set his jaw, trying to hold back the urge to sob like a child. His sorrow would flare into anger, then back to sorrow. It was times like this he wanted to just wish the world away and fade into nothingness.
"I hate this…." He murmured to the dead air, trying to get a grip on himself. A few more deep inhales and he would be ready to confront Navari and hand over his padawan's body for funeral rites.
Obi-wan stood up as transport landed in the Temple hangar bay, he was visibly tense. The muscles in his neck were strained still trying to mask his distress. Slowly the hatch opened to reveal most of the Jedi Council and Navari standing in the middle of them.
The Knight immediately met the Master Healer eyes, those emerald green eyes looked so painfully tired, shadowed by the golden locks of hair. Obi-wan had to look past them as he exited the ship, stopping next to Master Navari.
"I…" But the words wouldn't come. He had practiced what he was going to say, engraved it into his memory over and over. And there he stood wordless at the Master's grief.
Navari's firm hand dropped on Obi-wan's shoulder squeezing it gently.
"Thank you, for bringing her home." The Healer's soft voice seemed so steady. But it was all a front, Obi-wan knew. No one would forgive him, how could they ever forgive him. The padawan killer.
And with those thoughts like acid in his mind, Obi-wan shrugged the hand from his shoulder and walked in solitude away from the group.
Obi-wan neglected to go to Jace's Funeral, instead he locked himself in his quarters like a prisoner for a week. Refusing to see anyone that came to the door. Refusing to eat, to let himself sleep. He couldn't even step into the refresher for fear of looking at his reflection.
Asking the council over and over again for high risk missions, and every time he was denied. For the days that followed he haunted the Jedi Temple like some kind of empty phantom, ignoring anyone and avoiding everyone. Terrible thoughts echoed in the walls of his tightly guarded mind and he tried to sort through them, hiding himself away in his enclosure of plants in the Temple gardens. Did he have more to sink, was it even possible? Obi-wan pulled his knees up, resting his arms atop them and staring blankly at nothing.
There was one person that he was never able to avoid and that was Master Yoda. The little Master knew that there were no words of comfort or wisdom that would help to relieve the ever expanding void the young Knight felt. But at least he could try to mend the broken bond between friends. Master Navari pulled back the living curtain of branches, taking a seat next to his young friend, while Yoda disappeared into the background. The two of them sat in silence in the gardens.
"Stop blaming yourself, Obi-wan." The Master Healer finally broke the silence in the small sanctuary.
"Why? I was so preoccupied, I let my mind wander and because of it, she is dead." It had been the first time he had spoken in days. The thick sound of grief hung heavy in Obi-wan's voice.
"You didn't know what was out there. How could you? You were drawn into a trap..." Navari hated to see his friend like this. The Knight had gone through so many things the past couple of years, so many trials.
"I should have!" Anger flared in the Force surrounding Obi-wan, but quickly died away with the return of grief.
"She died in my arms....and I couldn't do anything."
"But you did...she was at peace when she died. You gave that to her." Navari once again placed a comforting hand on Obi-wan's shoulder, this time holding on tightly. There was desolation in those magnificent blue eyes.
"She shouldn't of died at all." Obi-wan sounded stubbornly childish, standing up and wiping a few stray tears that had escaped the brim of his eyes. He wanted to return to his apartment and dwell in the feelings of sin.
"You can't save them all..." The soft female voice he had heard whisper to him before, spoke in the place of Navari. Obi-wan spun around to face his friend, his eyes catching the faint vision of a woman with white hair and ornate white robes. The vision faded as quickly as it had appeared, the smallest hint of confusion flickering on his brow before he left his secluded hide away.
As he left, he felt the tender touch of Yoda's presents brush against the barrier of his mind, trying to find an opening to his isolation.
'STAY OUT OF MY HEAD!' It was only a thought, but it echoed loudly through the halls of the Temple. The feeling of a dark wrath accompanied the words through the Force. Obi-wan turned a wild eye to the little Jedi Master, the spark of darkness dwelt deep with in those cerulean eyes before they softened with remorse.
Obi-wan retreated back to his apartment, taking up a meditation pose in the middle of his floor. He had to purge the darkness into the Force, it was starting to suffocate his mind.
He could not fall....
He would not fall.
The silence of the lab hung in the desolate reaches of space, it's crew asleep and Darth Sidious had left while Xie-kuh was fulfilling his mission.
All for the better.
Xie-kun had returned with the little girl in tow, her warm hand gently grasped at the frail fingers of the Sith, large golden eyes staring widely at the foreign objects that littered the chamber. Kun led the way through the quite lab, their foot steps the only intrusion. The trio moved as if phantoms haunting the corridors, steady in their pace to reach the secret hide-away that held the body of Ishtar.
The door slid open revealing Ishtar still peacefully at rest. Kika joyfully ran into the room, standing on her tip toes, pressing her face against the glass to peer in on the sleeping maiden in the glass coffin. She looked back to Xie-kun who had moved to a small control center, his fingers dancing along the buttons with little hesitation.
Although they did not speak, they were silently communicating through the force almost as if a natural bond had formed and Kika was elated to have someone just like her.
Kika's small hand reached out and patted Kun on the head, the innocence of her smile could even melt the coldest of hearts.
Kie-kun retreated a medical device and knelt down to speak to the little girl on a more personal level.
"This is going to sting, is that okay?" Xie-kun's beautiful voice sounded as innocent as Kika's smile.
"If it will make the pretty lady wake up." The child nodded, ignorant of the monster that laid sleeping in the glass coffin.
Obi-wan's eyes flashed opened, the dim light shrouding his figure only to be betrayed by the soft glow of his light saber in the training room.
He felt like he was loosing his mind, as visions and voices drifted in and out of the shadows that surrounded him. There was a particular vision that plagued him, always just out of his reach.
The more he tried to see the vision, the more it slipped from his sight. Slowly he asked the Force to wrap around him, loosing the surrounding of the exercise room. He allowed his mind to drift, his body stepping through the movements without his knowledge. The vision came trickling back to him, the halls of the Jedi Temple where abandoned in all their purity. The silence echoed with in the walls, deafening in their dream like appearance.
His body twisted in mid air, executing a difficult keta with the simplest of ease, the sweat dripped from his brow, ginger locks matted together.
Within the vision he saw a pair of lightsabers in the distance, beautiful in their dazzling display of perfect precise movements. They crackled together in the empty halls, his own lightsaber humming contently in his hand. Awestruck at the speed in which they moved, the beautiful green blade spinning against a relentless blue.
The vision took him closer to the battle, each step slowly followed the next. Suddenly he was thrown into the fight, the green blade clashed against his, it's wielder shrouded in shadowy cloak of black mist. Obi-wan tried to focus on the almost formless being between the brief crackle as the lightsabers smashed against each other.
Guided by only feelings, his body began to mimic those that engulfed him in the vision.
Qui-gon watched silently as his former padawan seemingly glided through the air, the smooth movements flowed like water. His heart beat tightly in his chest. Perhaps he should leave, but the nagging kick of his conscience wouldn't allow it. He had heard that Obi-wan was in emotional turmoil, he had even felt his outburst earlier that day.
The vision suddenly fled from Obi-wan's grasp, retreating from the presents of his ex-Master. It startled the Jedi Knight, his stomach knotting up tightly. Their eyes locked together for a brief moment before Qui-gon broke the ridged air.
"You appear in need of an opponent." Years living hung heavy on the Jedi Masters voice.
Obi-wan bit his lip, he wanted Qui-gon to be gone, he wanted to return to that vision that was plaguing him like a cancer. But Obi-wan politely accepted.
The spar had started out rather trivial as each tested the boundary of the renewal of friendly rivalry. A block, a feint, a half hearted attack on Qui-gon's part, not to mention the distracted and scattered attack of Obi-wan. It wasn't long until that vision began to trickle back to the Jedi Knight, teasing him with faint glimpse of that battle taking place in another time.
As Obi-wan was draw into the vision with each clash of their sabers, he once again began to mimic the struggle taking place within the unwritten future. The knight's reaction became like lightening, his attack began to gain in strength and Qui-gon was left to make every effort to defend.
The Master began plague himself with questions as Obi-wan's attack became more aggressive. The guilt that his emotional state had something to do with him, but the Master shook it from his mind. Obi-wan was a grown Jedi and would not let such trivial things get in his way.
But the look in Obi-wan eyes, the way he moved with his shoulders forward, his lips pressed together tightly. There was...would he dare he say it....anger in those eyes.
"If you only would of accepted my decisions, things would not of turned out like this." Qui-gon spoke between the crackle of blades, pausing to catch his breath.
Perhaps it was vision, perhaps it was Qui-gon's poor choice of words, but something inside Obi-wan snapped. Qui-gon was knocked backwards by an onslaught of attacks, each coming so close they singed pieces of of his clothing. In a series of miscalculated moves, the Jedi Master was left wide open and Obi-wan's blade moved in for the killing blow, a horizontal swing just above the shoulders, a move that would of decapitated Qui-gon.
Those pale blue eyes were wide in shock as the Obi-wan carried through with his swing, disengaging his lightsaber at the very moment it would of sliced through his masters flesh. The Knight's hand was steady in the follow thru, his stance in perfect form, his eyes held the gleam of bitter betrayal.
"Master..." The word felt foreign as it rolled elegantly past his lips, he straightened, facing Qui-gon. "I would of followed you to the last breath...to my last gasp with truth and loyalty." There was such pain and passion behind those words that cut Qui-gon more then any lightsaber could ever do. Obi-wan did not hesitate leaving the Master to the dimly lit training room.
The air grew thick with silence as Qui-gon sunk to his knees in solitude, unable his control the brim of tears that cascaded down his face. He was fool....an old fool.
Obi-wan sat shaking in the faint light on the night in his room, his form hunched over, cradling a broken possession. His fingers clutching it tightly and cutting into his flesh.
He had wanted to kill his former master and he was going to do it. It would have been so easy, all he had to do was carry through with the strike, how could such a thought enter his head...when did these emotion start to fester and boil over? When did this self loathing turn to anger? Why could he not swallow those emotions? Why?
Tiny droplets of blood seeped between his fingers, his grip refusing to loosen on the shattered stone as the tears streamed down his face. He refused to move, until the strain was too much and he collapsed into a night of hellish torment.
Weeks had gone by since Kika was taken and Padawan Prior died. Obi-wan stalked down the temple halls, his pace relentless and the cold blue focused and callous. The Jedi council had finally called him for a high risk mission. He wondered what had taken the decrepit lot so long. Those nasty thoughts still plagued his mind, and unrestrained emotions rolled off him in tidal waves. Obi-wan didn't even notice those faded baby-blues of his former master, who watched him in worry, since that night in the training room.
"This is not the knight I trained..." He whispered to himself as Obi-wan disappeared from view.
The Jedi Master continued on his way to the educational ward and to yet another conference with one of Anakins teachers.
As he wondered the hall, he allowed his mind to roam freely, carelessly reminiscent of the past when the mention of Obi-wans name brought his focus back. The hatch to the labs had been left open and Qui-gon used the force to aid his eavesdropping ears.
"I think I've been able to identify the alien cells that are in Knight Kenobi's body." Healer Navari spoke, his somber voice foreshadowing the results to come.
"Review and explain, if you will." Yoda riddled, knowing that his former padawan was listening to the news.
"As you know, when Kenobi was brought in after the attempt on Chancellor Palptines life, we noticed this alien matter in his system."
"Bitten by the beast, was he?"
"Yes. We believe this was in direct correlation from the animals saliva that entered Obi-wan's body through the bite on his leg."
Qui-gon felt a chill go down his spine. He had witnessed first hand the aftermath of that battle and Obi-wan's unsteady state of mind.
"You see these cells?" Navari pointed to a magnified image of the alien matter. "They seek out and attach themselves to the midichlorians in the body. After awhile they completely engulf the midichlorians. The midichlorians remained unharmed or at least that is what appeared to be happening."
"Find something, did you?"
"I did." Navari changed the image on the viewer before he continued. "I was able to breakdown a sample of the unknown cells and ran the components through the Jedi Library. I received a partial match and it appears to be some sort of Sith poision."
"Sith Piosion, made by the Sith Acolytes...but wiped out, they were..." Yoda fiddled with his walking stick.
"I looked into original cases of poisoning of Jedi and found that the poison was rather curable."
"Able to overcome the poison, most Jedi were..." Yoda felt that the conversation was going to take a turn for the worse.
"Yes...after long meditation and fortitude of the purity of the force, but this is different...This is more like a disease now." Navari paused to form his thoughts best he could. "The old sith poison only attached itself to the midclorians and the midichlorians were able to dispose of it in time. This new stuff attaches and surrounds the midichlorians acting as a filter."
Qui-gon was on the edge of waiting in silence. He entered the room and unapologetically interrupted.
"What does that mean for Obi-wan?"
Navari looked shocked at Qui-gon sudden intrusion, then looked at Yoda for approval to answer. Yoda gave a curt nod, looking to gaze at Qui-gons reaction.
The Master Healer looked at Qui-gon, his eyes full of distaste.
"It means that when Obi-wan calls the force to his aid, he will inadvertently draw on the dark side of the force. He will slowly be corrupted and the Obi we all know and love will be no more."
Author's Note: Please leave comments. I really want to know what you guys think. Again, I'll try not to be so long with the next chapter.