There's a few of things I want to apologise for. Number 1 is just how shitty my idea behind this chapter was. Number 2 is that this chapter is rather short. And number 3 is because I promised this chapter would be up days ago. Really sorry about that. I meant to post it on the 31st but then got distracted and kept forgetting and when I remembered I was just overcome with an overwhelming need to not have to proof read my shitty writing once again.

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Chapter 11: Lazarus Rising

Four months.

Dean had still been in hell for four months.

Their connection hadn't worked in hell and so Cas had been forced to find Dean the old fashioned way. And that wasn't exactly an easy task for one angel who was chasing a soul that the demons were quick to move around while he was at the same time avoiding his old garrison who were also looking for Dean. There had been a few times that the demons got sloppy with hiding Dean and Cas was able to get close… but the other angels had been able to pick up the evidence leading to Dean just as easily and Cas had to retreat before he was spotted.

When Cas had finally got to Dean, he had already spilt blood.

Dean had looked worse than the last time Cas had saved him. He'd broke sooner, he'd become more demonic. And it was all Cas' fault. Dean hadn't been prepared for hell this time around because Cas had lulled him into a false sense of security by cancelling the contract. He should have warned him. He should have made sure he was ready. But he didn't; so this time when Cas grabbed hold of Dean's arm, the handprint burned deeper. Dean was in more pain than he had been before as Cas used his grace to cleanse his friend of all things demonic. And it was all Castiel's fault.

When Cas had raised Dean and remade his body, he placed him on Bobby's sofa. The gruff hunter was in the kitchen when Cas appeared and the angel had left long before Bobby turned to see Dean asleep on the couch.

Cas' next stop was Gabriel. He knew now that he needed help. He'd messed up. He hadn't changed a damn thing… Dean had still gone to hell. He had still spilt blood there. He was still the Righteous Man!

Cas didn't know why God had given him this power if he wasn't good enough to change anything. When he found Gabriel a few hours later, the Archangel was less than impressed to see him.

"How did you find me?" The older angel said with narrowed eyes and Cas shrugged.

"I'm more powerful than your warding," he replied quietly.

"Yeah… you never told me why that is…"

"You never asked."

"I suppose I'm not really sure I want to know… that's got to be a hell of lot of souls you've got there in order to make you this strong," Gabriel said and Cas shook his head. Collecting souls was the obvious explanation for him suddenly increasing in power and Cas should have just nodded along… but he couldn't lie anymore.

"It's not souls…"

"Okay… that made this more interesting… but the answer is still no," Gabe said slowly and Cas furrowed his brow and tilted his head in confusion.

"I didn't ask anything."

"You were about to," Gabe said and shook his head. "You want me to join you and stop the Apocalypse. And I can't. I'm sorry Castiel, but it's time to give up now. You had a try and you failed and now that it's started… nothing can stop it."

"I'm not going to give up and if you cared as much as you say then you wouldn't either." Cas started pacing the room as Gabriel stood and watched looking increasingly angry. True, Castiel had messed up. He shouldn't have hid so much from the Winchesters… but there was too much at stake to dwell on past mistakes.

"You can't seriously think that I don't care," Gabe spat angrily and Cas just continued to pace. If the Archangel wouldn't help then he needed to come up with a plan by himself. "What do you even think I was doing at the Mystery Spot?"

"Being an asshole," Cas replied swiftly without giving it much thought and Gabriel grabbed a hold of him to stop his pacing and force Cas to look at him. He was angry.

"I was trying to stop it. It was my last plan and it failed as much as yours has so it's time for us to give up," Gabriel said the words slowly and Cas shook his head.

"How is repeatedly killing Dean Winchester a plan to stop the Apocalypse?"

"It was encouragement," Gabe said and released his grasp of Cas' arm. "If Sam knew what it felt like to lose his brother over and over again then he'd work harder to save him and Dean wouldn't break the first seal… but you had to come in and ruin everything…" Gabe said, close to a snarl and Cas rolled his eyes.

"It wasn't going to work."

"You don't know that."

"Actually, I do."

"How?!" Gabriel challenged and Cas let slip another secret.

"Because I'm not from this time." A long silence stretched between the two angels as Cas practically shouted his secret. He was angry and fed up, it had been a long four months… literally. His time in hell made it appear more like forty years, which made his inability to save Dean seem like even more of a failure.

"Changing the past isn't exactly an easy thing, Cas… how much do they know?"

"Nothing," Castiel said with a sigh and he just deflated.

"Good… keep it that way," Gabriel said and Cas was about to argue when he continued. "You know what's going to happen and when… you've probably got more of a chance to stop this. Keep the Winchesters in the dark and keep them away from angels. If they know about us… about what this war really is then they're going to find themselves knee-deep in angels… we're a manipulative species and our brothers and sisters will spin their minds, make them believe that you're the bad guy," Gabriel explained and, after a moment's hesitation, Cas agreed that it was the better course of action. He was a good warrior, but Gabriel was an Archangel. He was a leader and much more skilled in strategies… it wouldn't be wise to ignore his advice.

"You're still not going to help are you?" Cas asked, but it was more of a statement because he already knew the answer. Gabriel didn't reply, he just smiled and disappeared.

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Cas sat on one of the sofas in his safe house for many hours, meditating in order to calm himself down; it was a technique he could now do for days at a time because he didn't need to eat, drink or move in anyway at all. He was too agitated to read some more books and so meditation was his only option for passing the time.

'I invoke conjure and command you to appear onto me before this circle'

The words rung loudly through his grace and shattered his concentration. He shook his head violently as he remembered last time this had happened… he couldn't let that happen again. Even though he had a vessel this time, that wouldn't be what she saw… she would still see his true form.

'I invoke conjure and command you to appear onto me before this circle'

Cas took a moment to compose himself into the fearless Demi-God that Dean and Sam were used to and then flew towards them. He appeared invisible at first and sat down swiftly into a chair that he manifested in between the psychic and Dean. He turned himself visible just as the woman started to chant the third time.

"You rang?" Cas said sweetly, this shocked all of those at the table. Sam grabbed for the Colt and pointed it at him at the same time that Bobby grabbed his gun and Dean smoothly took out the knife and stabbed him in the chest. Cas looked down at the protruding object and smiled in memory of the first time Dean had done that to him. He looked up and saw the fear on all three hunters faces at his amusement at being stabbed with the 'big time magic knife'. He grabbed the hilt and pulled the knife out of his chest, looked it over and 'angel poofed' it clean before handing it back to the hunter.

Dean cautiously took the offered object. He kept hold of it just in case, even though he now knew for certain that it wouldn't work. He sent a fear filled look at his brother. Cas also looked at Sam and eyed the gun he was holding with a dry laugh.

"I thought we already established that these things don't work on me"

"In a dream… I didn't know whether to believe it or not," Dean replied and Cas shrugged.

"How you doing, Sammy?"

"Don't call me that" the taller Winchester said.

"My apologies… what would you prefer me to call you instead? Hmm? How about 'the boy with the demon blood'? Yeah… I think that has a nice ring to it" Cas said polity… he knew that Sam wasn't drinking demon blood now, he could sense that he wasn't, but that didn't mean that he wouldn't start. So his family had to know everything for them to be able to prevent it further. Sam's face paled at Cas' knowledge and Bobby and Dean blanked.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked, loudly.

"Right… he hasn't told you…" Dean turned to look at Sam and shook his head, thinking that it could wait for another time.

"What are you doing here?" Dean demanded of the angel.

"You were looking for me… I thought I'd make it easier."

"You're who raised Dean from hell?" Sam asked and looked at the Psychic for confirmation.

"I can't tell… not without finishing the ritual," she said and Dean nodded.

"Well, sorry that we don't take your word for it… but I think I'd prefer to know for sure," Cas stood up and made the chair disappear at the same time, he took a step backwards.

"Of course, don't mind me… just don't come complaining when her eyes burn out of their sockets…"

"What d'ya mean?" Bobby asked warily.

"Well… as you know, this isn't my true form. However, you probably aren't aware that if I wasn't in a vessel then most people wouldn't be able to perceive me without sustaining serious injuries… There are a few that can but," Cas paused as he thought back and recalled the psychic's name, "Pamela here, although being a fairly powerful psychic, isn't one of them."

"That's why you came?" Pamela asked suddenly, "to keep me from losing my eyes?" Cas considered lying but, as he'd just said, Pamela was a powerful psychic and probably would pick up on his lies fairly easily.

"Yes, actually," the hunters all stared at him. "It's fairly annoying and I always get blamed for it even when it's not my fault… plus, for some reason, I'm unable to heal the wounds once they've been made"

"Thanks… I guess," Pamela said and Cas smirked at her and nodded.

"Why'd you do it?" Dean asked abruptly and Cas frowned at him, he tilted his head slightly to the side.

"I just told you"

"No… why'd you raise me from hell?"

"Oh, that… well you were never supposed to go down there in the first place, I thought it only right to correct the mistake," he could tell that none of the Winchesters believed him, but that didn't matter as long as they didn't try to get a 'peak' at his true self.

"You're the one who sent him to hell in the first place," Sam said through gritted teeth and Cas shook his head.

"Nope. Ruby did that. Then I killed her, healed you and brought Bobby back to life," Cas said and when Sam just continued to glare at him he continued in a sarcastic tone, "no need to thank me, or anything." Cas could tell from looking at Sam that the youngest Winchester didn't believe him… nor did he want to, Dean seemed to not know what to believe and Bobby was as unreadable as ever… it was probably the beard. Pamela was surprisingly calm about everything and he frowned at her a little bit but didn't question it. "Granted it was partially my fault… I was expecting the demons to pull something and so I stayed close by but I never warned any of you."

"If that's true then, no offence but, you suck as a body guard," Dean said. "Where were you when the hellhounds showed up…"

"I was fighting off demons on the outskirts of town… they were there to distract me," Cas answered and tried his best to keep all remorse out of his voice and away from his face. "And I fell for it…"

"I don't believe you," Sam said angrily.

"I can see that." After a few more seconds of silence Cas sighed heavily and turned to face Dean again. "Right now we have bigger problems. That event I told you about… it's happened. The war is starting and I need your help."

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So, not the worst chapter I've ever written but I'm still not happy with it. I can't go back to regular posting just yet (I thought that I'd be able to but when I got my A2 results in August I found out that my college didn't allow people coming back a year to just do one more AS level - like I'd planned. So I had to go talk to another college about doing that but their representatives were at a university for the day so I went to the Uni, got talking to a lecturer and, long story short, got offered a place through clearing without needed the extra AS level! Now that I'm going to Uni, however, I have even less time to write) so my next chapter is likely to not be for another month or so.