AN: Thank you so much for the many, many reviews!

I received twenty reviews yesterday, 12 on this story and rest on some of my other stories and that is more than I usually get in a week. It made me so happy, I had to smile all day long. That number of reviews is of course also the best motivation for me to keep on wirting.

This is the longest chapter of this story, it is almost a thousand words longer than the other chapters and I thought about splitting it up, but it wouldn't really have worked, so I hope this is o.k.

Thank you again for all the support!

Kat

Julie is with Robert, he holds onto her protectively and she is sleeping soundly in his arms. Their little girl has been plagued by nightmares for weeks, the nanny told them that she cried almost every night, and then she realizes that maybe Robert went to bed in his own room because he had Julie with him but didn't want to disturb her. She turns the light off again, hoping that her stupid action didn't disturb Robert's or Julie's sleep. Her husband grunts when she leaves but doesn't say anything. While the maid gets her ready, she keeps thinking about what she saw. Robert takes such good care of their little girl and Julie loves her Papa dearly. Julie loves her too, she knows that and Julie says so quite frequently, but her Papa is her hero, there is no one she admires more in the world. She is glad about that, her little girl couldn't have chosen a better hero and if this means that in fifteen or twenty years' time Julie will be looking for a husband who is like her Papa, then they have nothing to worry about. Robert takes care of their two grandsons just as much. Lilly's little boy Jamie was born in November 1915 and one of the reasons why Robert was so against turning their house into a convalescent home was that at that time they had had two very small children at home and knew that those two would be joined by a third one in April 1916. Little George was in fact born at the end of February already, six weeks early and at that time she came close to regretting having agreed to Isobel's plan, even Isobel came close to regretting it.

Both Julie and Jamie had been very easy from their births on, but George was a different matter. He needed constant care, in fact he spent the first eight weeks of his life at a hospital in London where he had to be brought the day of his birth because he was too small and he wouldn't eat. Mary stayed with him in London day and night, it looked so bleak that Matthew was even given leave, but somehow the future Earl of Grantham made it through that difficult part of his very young life. But when Mary brought him home, it became apparent that George cried more every single day than Julie and Jamie did combined on really bad days, and the little boy's screams set the soldiers' teeth on edge. Some of them wanted George to be gone, one of the nurses even suggested Mary and George move into Crawley House, but Robert had put his food down. He had given the nurse a dressing down that everybody within the Abbey was able to hear and no one ever complained about George or the other children again. George eventually stopped crying so much and that makes all their lives a lot easier. Mary and Lilly are involved in running the house as well, which leaves Robert to take care of the children. When she comes to that thought she berates herself for having thought of Robert as sitting around and brooding all day a little earlier because that isn't true. He spends hours with the children every day, she knows he tries to make them forget what kind of world they live in, what kind of horrible things they see every day. He takes them on walks around the estate and he spends hours reading to them and playing with them. She knows it can't be easy to take care of three children under the age of three. Not really under the age of three, Julie will actually turn three next week, but it doesn't change the fact that Robert's life probably isn't any easier than hers.

He comes into the breakfast room when she is about to leave.

"Will you be here for lunch?" he asks without preamble. There is no good morning, no peck on the cheek, no 'I love you' and it almost drives her to tears.

"I don't think so, I have to go down to the hospital and I doubt that I will be home in time."

"I'll be all alone then. Mary and Lilly are going to some charity function that is aimed at collecting money for war orphans. They are taking George and Jamie with them, probably to show those rich ladies the future Earl of Grantham and the future Duke of Suffolk in the hope of making those ladies think about their daughters marrying one of those little boys and thus giving a generous amount of money."

"If it helps," she answers. She is sure it will help, she used Sam for exactly that effect until he was twelve. She is sure it was Sam's idea in the first place that Lilly and Mary use their sons like that.

"I'll be alone for lunch then."

"Have lunch with Julie."

"In the nursery." He looks at her flabbergasted.

"Of course not. Let her have lunch with you. She is well-behaved; I think you should be able to get through a lunch with her without the vegetables ending up on the ceiling."

"Maybe I will do that. Or you could just come home for lunch."

"I'll try."

"No you won't Cora. Don't lie to me." He looks so hurt now, she wonders what is going on inside of him.

"I am not lying. I'll try, I promise."

"You have no interest in spending time with me these days, I know that. I am an old fool who spends his time with little children to you," he says in a quite accusatory tone.

"No you are not. How can you think that?"

"I was only ever interesting to you as long as what we did was something we shouldn't be doing." He has gone too far now because this isn't true. They were blissfully happy until a few months ago, or they would have been if they weren't constantly worried about Sam and Matthew.

"Robert, that isn't true and you know it. I will leave now because I don't want to fight with you." Or let you see me cry over this, she thinks but doesn't say it.

She rushes things at the hospital, she tells the head nurse that she has an appointment somewhere else, she offends almost everyone by refusing to eat with the staff at the hospital, but she comes home in time for lunch. Carson tells her that Robert is in the nursery and so she goes there to tell him that she is back and that lunch is about to be served. When she opens the door, her heart breaks with the love she feels for the two people inside. Robert is sitting on a rocking chair with Julie on his lap and he is reading her favorite story to her. The girl sits on his lap sideways and clings to his shirt. Her eyes are about to fall close and she supposes that her daughter must have had a really bad night because Robert looks just as tired as their little girl. Neither one of them has noticed her and she wonders if she shouldn't just let them fall asleep but then thinks that it would probably be good for Robert and her if they spent some time together. So she walks over to them quietly and gently places a hand on Robert's shoulder. He looks up and smiles at her and it sends a shiver of longing down her spine.

"It is time for lunch, love," she says and he nods. Julie's eyes are now actually closed and without Robert saying a word, she lifts their daughter up and places her in her bed.

"She had a horrible night. She woke up four or five times. She keeps dreaming of the war. Some of the soldiers must have told her about it in excruciating detail. I think I should remind Dr. Clarkson that this house may be a convalescent home, but that it is also the home of three very young children. The soldiers should be told to not tell any of the children about the war. I know that especially Julie likes to get underfoot everywhere, but she is too young for those stories."

They are now out in the hallway and she takes Robert's hand.

"Let me help you with her nightmares. You look dead tired. Let me deal with her bad dreams for the next two or three nights. You have to sleep too."

Robert looks as if he wanted to argue but then only says "Thank you."

She deliberately sits down next to him at lunch instead of opposite of him and as soon as Carson has left the room, she takes Robert's hand again. "I love you," she says, looks into his eyes and is surprised to see tears there.

They finish lunch in almost complete silence, but when they are done, she takes Robert's hand again and leads him to their bedroom. He doesn't object.

"Robert I am sorry. I am sorry I gave you the feeling that I didn't care about you or our marriage anymore. I am sorry I hurt you. I'll work less, I'll find more time for you, I promise."

"Is that a promise you can keep?" He looks so uncertain.

"Yes." He takes her face between his hands and kisses her softly on the lips.

"Thank you for that." He then lets go of her, but she grabs his hands and pulls him close to her again.

"Thank you for taking care of the children. They'd be lost without you."

"I am not so sure about that."

"I am. And I love you."

"I love you too." They begin to kiss in earnest now and for the first time in weeks Robert takes her to bed in every sense of the word.

Later when she is in his arms and he is playing with her hair, she tells him that Sam has written and told her that both he and Matthew would be home for Julie's birthday.

"That's a lovely surprise."

"Yes. I was wondering if you could call the war office and ask them if they can stay for a little while longer. They both have sons they have hardly ever seen and it would be so lovely to have them home for Christmas."

"I'll try darling, but I can't promise I'll be successful."

"I know. But thank you for putting in the effort. I appreciate it." They don't say anything for a while until he asks her

"Won't you be late for your afternoon appointments?"

"I won't be late. I am not going. I told Carson to cancel them all for me. I need to spend time with you and with our older girls and their sons gone, it is just Julie and us, and I think that Julie will be asleep for some more time."

"You should think about waking her, or she will be up all night."

"I know. But I am glad that she is asleep. I will get through a night without sleep for her sake."

"If you are sure."

Robert was of course right, when it is time for Julie to go to bed, she claims that she is not tired and once Cora has gone upstairs after dinner, it only takes fifteen minutes until there is a knock on her door. She sends the maid away and lets her little girl inside and tells her to sit on the bed while she finishes her nightly routine.

"Mama, you are beautiful." She has to smile at that. Little girls always think their mothers beautiful.

"Thank you Julie."

"Will I look like you when I am older?"

"Your Papa certainly thinks so."

"Then I will. Papa is always right."

"Yes he is."

"Mama, when will the war be over?"

"Why?" She can't tell her little girl when the war will be over, but maybe she will now get to the bottom of those nightmares.

"Because I want Sam and Matthew here. It isn't fair that I have my Papa here, but Jamie and George don't have theirs."

"I wish they were here too." She misses Sam so much it breaks her heart. And in some ways Julie is just like him, she is just as inquisitive and while she thinks that is a good character trait, it makes her miss Sam even more.

"Lilly said there won't be soldiers in this house when there is no war."

"That is true."

"The soldiers tell me bad stories."

"Do they scare you?" Julie nods and there are tears running down her face. She walks over to the bed, sits down and puts her arms around her little girl. "Julie, those men have been through something terrible. And sometimes they talk about things to people they shouldn't talk to, at least not about the gruesome things they have seen. It is very difficult for them. But you can always come to me or your Papa."

"Papa was in a war too."

"Yes. It was horrible."

"I am glad he is here now."

"Me too, my darling girl, me too."

"Will you read to me?"

"Of course."

She reads to her from the book The Dutch Twins. She thinks that Julie must know all six stories by heart now, because she has read them to her at least ten times, Robert has probably read them to her twenty times, both Lilly and Mary have read them to her and Julie sometimes even gets Carson to read to her from the book. The only person she never asks to read to her is her nanny.

"Cora darling, wake up. Just for a moment."

"What?"

Robert is sitting on the bed next to her.

"Let go of Julie for a moment, so you can lie down. I'll put Julie down then. If the two of you keep on sleeping sitting up, you will both be in pain tomorrow." She knows he is right.

"Thank you darling."

"I put the book on your night stand."

"Hm."

"Cora, you have to move. You are on my side of the bed."

"Hm."

"Cora. Just a bit, please."

She moves further into the middle of the bed, with Julie lying on her right. She turns towards her daughter instinctively and only when Robert puts an arm around her from behind and she feels the weight of his body press against her own does she realize that he chose to sleep in her room rather than in his own.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

There still isn't really enough room for him in the bed, but he knows that Cora tried to make room for him. Julie tends to take up a lot of space and Cora was only half awake at best. He briefly thinks about sleeping in his dressing room, but when he puts his arm around Cora, he has to hold onto her or he'd fall out of the bed, and feels the warmth of her body against his own, he realizes that he would prefer an uncomfortable night sleeping next this wife and child than a comfortable one sleeping on his own.

Julie begs them to have breakfast with her the next morning and because she is such a good girl, they agree. Both Lilly and Mary are that the breakfast table too, although that surprises him, they like to have breakfast together in Mary's room.

"We've got a surprise for you," Lilly says and smirks in a way that makes him rather apprehensive.

"We thought you deserve some time away. Just the two of you. We will run the house and Julie can help us take care of the boys. You would like that Julie, wouldn't you?"

"Yes." He thinks that Mary is a genius.

"Where would we go?" Cora asks and he thinks that is a valid question, considering that there is a war going on.

"To your cottage on Sam's estate. I telephoned them yesterday, if you don't arrive before four in the afternoon, they'll have it ready for you. They'll send a cook and a maid and you can decide whether you want to bring your valet and lady's maid. It's all up to you."

"For how long will we stay?"

"Three days. We don't really know for sure when Sam and Matthew will be back and we wouldn't want you to miss their arrival."

So they leave in the afternoon and arrive at their cottage just in time for tea. It looks the way it always did and somehow it makes him feel like home. Coming back here is a reassurance of the continued love he and Cora feel for one another.

"I've missed this place, Robert. I know it is stupid, but I did." Cora is in his arms, drawing lazy circles on his chest and he enjoys it quite a lot. It makes him forget about the world.

"I've missed it too. It used to be where we were happiest for many years."

"Are you happy now?"

"Cora, what do you think? Of course I am happy. I've got everything I ever wanted now. The only thing that bothers me is that horrid war. I wish Matthew and Sam were home."

"They will be soon. And maybe you can get their leave extended to the new year."

"Maybe. But let's not think about that. The girls did not send us here to brood over things we can't change."

"No. They wanted us to have some space. And some time for just us."

"It's what we need, isn't it?"

They spend the rest of that day and the following day in blissful happiness that lets them forget all their quarrels and troubles. While they are already on their way to bed, there is a knock on the door and when he opens it and sees Mary's tear-streaked face, he knows that something terrible must have happened.

"They are lost. Both of them. Sam and Matthew were on a patrol behind enemy lines. They should have been back three days ago, but they never returned. The war office telephoned and told us that they were most likely dead and that we should not hope for anything else."