"I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care,
I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there.
I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do.
I'm sorry I can't help myself, I'm in love with you."
-Unknown

PART 11

Loki was leaning on his counter top, just staring into his teacup. The golden liquid was gently rippling inside the cup, as the steam was vanishing. The other night, was still replaying in the back of his mind. He learned another fact about Tony Stark. Another truth was uncovered. Even at a young age, he learned how to transform hardships into power. It made him an even more interesting opponent. It kept drawing him in. He wanted to learn everything that he could about Iron Man. The mortal was slowly devouring the god's every thought. He didn't know how to free himself from such notions. He was consumed with understanding Tony Stark now. All the similarities, the small things they have in common. It was making Loki have more questions rather than answers. It was proving his idea even more so, that defeating Tony would be all the more challenging, but just as titillating as he expected.

He finally took a sip of his tea, it was cold. He dumped it down the sink drain, making himself a new cup. While drinking it, his eyes drifted over to his one book. His favorite book. William Shakespeare. Despite him being mortal, he truly did understand the hearts of man. The moral dilemmas and treachery that one can face in their life. This book helped him through many hardships. But this one. Today. These past months. The stories were like Tony, filling him with more confusion than anything else. He still wants to rule this word, and the rest of the nine realms. He was born to be a king. Breed to be a ruler. Nothing would stop him from achieving that goal. Not even the Avengers.

Stark knew that well. He knew Loki would never change. Would never give up his dream of dominance. At the same time, Loki knew Tony would never stop being Iron Man. An Avenger. Help the souls of this world and others. So why did it pain him knowing this. Why did he want Tony both alive and dead. Where were these mixed feelings coming from. When did they even start? The first night Tony shared a story of his childhood? When he followed him around Japan and saw the man for what he really is? Perhaps it has been a few small feelings, here and there, that have now accumulated into this rush of delirium.

No matter how it happened or when it did, Loki knew that he wouldn't stray from his path. His quest for glory. Dominance. The only way he could make that path true was to get close to Tony, close enough to figure out how to kill him. He reinforced that thought every night as Tony haunted the depths of his mind. The nights the red and golden helmet were burned into his eyes. This was not a retelling of Beatrice and Benedict's love story. It was not a comedy. This was a tragedy. Life is a tragedy. There would be no happy ending for one of them. And Loki was as sure as hell it was not going to be him.

He sat on his floor looking out the window. There was one other thing that was still bothering him. The coffee. Tony gave the god a cup of coffee. But of course, as soon as he took a sip of it the other night, he could taste the subtle flavor of a caramel and alcohol. The man even put his poison in coffee. Still, it was an unusual gesture. An offering of a drink. Had it not been spiked with alcohol, it would have been acceptable in taste. Then again, the entire night seemed unorthodox. The only part that seemed normal was their game of go. Just like their games of chess, it ended in a draw.

His hands clutched the cup tightly. He was putting too much time and thought into this. He should be more focused on planning his attack. When he will once again strike the people of Earth. Not thinking about egotistical mortals with an alcohol problem. Yet every time, even tonight, when trying to focus on his strategy, his mind always seemed to wander to the dark brown eyes hidden behind the iron mask.

He wondered, was Tony Stark as lost in his own thoughts as he? Was he becoming as mesmerized by the god's past and he was with the mortals? Did his emerald eyes haunt the man? Taunt him? Push him to create technology he was not fully sure would work or not? Then again Iron Man, the Avengers, they were pushing him as well. Forcing him to think of grander schemes in his quest for leadership. Outwitting them. They were pushing his intellect as no one had before. Especially Tony Stark and the little trinkets he built.

All of this, this knowledge, this new scheme. This final war he was going to create, was intoxicating. But it was the chocolate eyes. The red and gold suit. That was what fueled him. It burned inside of him. Yet, part of him; locked away in the depths of his heart. A part he had not felt in many years. Felt warm from the fire that was ignited by Tony Stark. If only he could comprehend what the flames meant.

Tony was in his lab, singing along to some AC/DC, ignoring the rest of the world around him. He was trying to keep his mind busy. Preoccupied. If he didn't constantly work on something his mind would drift. The emerald eyes, flowing cape, and golden horns consumed his every thought. The more he learned about Loki the more curious he became. All the the emotion, hatred, resentment, quest for equality. Loki's entire dynamic was slowly starting to make sense with every story. Although, it still seemed like Loki took those emotions to the extreme. Then again, competing, trying to stand out with a brother like Thor, it was probably not easy. Tony himself knew the extremes he took to be noticed, appreciated by his father. It took him down a dark path, but he eventually found a way out. Loki was still trapped. Or perhaps he chose not to let himself be freed.

Tony pushed his legs back, causing his chair to swivel to the other side of the garage. "Jarvis, I'm going out for a bit. Tell me if anything is going on." Tony said getting up from the chair and putting his Iron Man armor on. At one point in his life, he believed there was nothing better than clearing your head while in a fast car. Just speeding down a highway and letting the miles take away any and all thoughts. Now that he had a suit that could go faster than any car, his perspective changed a bit. He blasted off into the sky, the clouds and a few flocks of birds his only companions. He flew nowhere in particular, just where the repulsors took him. Being in the sky, gave him such freedom. No one could bring him down, not even the United States Air Force. He ended up on the other side of the United States now, New York City, so he went to Stark Tower. He walked on the landing pad, and took off his armor. He was back to where he started.

He sat down on his couch, leaning back his head, eyes intent on the ceiling. He closed his eyes for only a moment, and the vibrant jade was creeping it way into his mind. He shot his head up, shaking it as if that would make the vision disappear. He pulled out his phone, pressing the speed dial for Bruce. After a few rings, he heard his friend's voice loud and clear on the line. "Hey Tony. Did you need something?"

Tony was quiet before speaking, taking slow breaths, "I know we never talked about this before. Your dad and mine. But I'm curious. Do you think your dad was what shaped you, and the big guy? What pushed you two to try to do good...If you don't walk to talk about it I understand. Dads. They are a touchy subject."

Bruce was silent, his heavy breathing could be heard over the phone. "Does this have something to do with Loki?" He finally spoke up after a good thirty seconds.

Tony sputtered as he spoke, "What makes you think this has anything to do with Donner?"

The line was silent for a few more moments, making Tony wonder what Bruce was thinking. How he appeared from an outsiders perspective. "Tony, when are you not thinking about Loki?" Was Bruce's final response. Those words hit home though for Tony. Causing him to think back on these past months. When did he not think of the god? In his sleep? When he is working on a project? No. All his projects as of late were all focused around Loki. And when he closed his eyes he could swear he saw the god slowly taking shape in his mind. Bruce finally spoke up again, "All your projects in the garage are focused on tracing magic, neutralizing it, understanding it. You have been having these secret meeting with him for what? Over three months now. Almost four." Bruce paused again, the slow breathing could be heard through the earpiece. "So Loki told you a story about his childhood. Was there a time when he was less crazy?" His voice was filled with sarcasm while asking his rhetorical question, but Tony felt the need to answer anyways.

"By the sound of his stories, it seemed like he was just trying to get attention. He had to compete with Thor for his father's approval. Odin gave Goldielocks all the attention, so Loki started to lash out. Try to kill Thor a few times. I guess that's the equivalence to trying to get your brother grounded for something you do. So, that's why I wonder if Loki is who is because of Odin. His father shaped his personality because of his neglect."

"What makes you think he is even telling the whole truth to these stories?" Bruce asked incredulously. Not fully wanting to believe what Tony was saying. He knew all too well the pain caused by a father and hated the idea of him, Tony, and Loki being compared together in that sense.

"It's just a feeling I have." Tony muttered to himself, "Still, I didn't have the best childhood with my dad and I turned out decentish. You didn't have father of the year either and you turned out fine." Bruce scoffed at the word fine being synonymous with his mental state. There were many points he was far from fine. But with Betty, Tony, and the rest of the Avengers; maybe he was fine now. Tony trucked on, ignoring this friend's interruption. "But Loki. Why did he end up the way he his? Is it because we were only children? We didn't have to compete for attention with a sibling. We were just unloved outright. But he saw his brother glorified, put on this high pedestal. Plus, he and Thor are princes. So all of Asgard was judging them throughout their childhood, and who did the people respond more favorably to?" Tony paused, to focus his thoughts and get his mind on track. "Which scenario is worse? Ours or his?" This line caused a pang of suffering in Bruce. Competing for attention. It brought back the memories. His parents. His dad. Jealousy. It can drive one insane and cause nothing but suffering for those around. But Bruce couldn't let himself be swayed like Tony seemed to be by these stories; he had to remain level headed.

"Tony, I think you got this figured out without my help." Bruce replied remaining as calm as he could. "But I still don't think you should be trusting Loki. For all we know he is trying to get the sympathy vote to get you distracted."

Tony sighed into the phone, causing Bruce it pull it away from his ear. "You have not seen him. The somber look on his face. Eyes forlorn. It's like looking at another person when he tells these stories. Not even Loki can fake that emotion."

"Tony," the serious tone of Bruce rang harshly through the speaker. "Remember what you told me. The whole point of this was just to study Loki's magic. Don't forget that."

"Come on Bruce this is me you're talking to." Tony said. By the sound of his voice Bruce could picture the grin on his friends face.

"That's why I worry." Bruce said before hanging up, leaving Tony with the soft hum of dial-tone.

Tony looked at his phone and frowned. That's why he worried? That didn't seem right. Tony always did what was right in the end. Still. Is he right about something? Is Bruce right that Loki is all he ever thinks about? It is hard not to think about the god though. He is seeing him on a somewhat regular basis. He is learning so much about Loki and himself as well. Loki to a point is really no different than himself. It is daunting. Tony now understood Thor's jaded ideas on his brother. Maybe part of him is becoming blind to the god now too. Part of him wants Loki to find the light like he did. The other half knew the god is past saving. The only harmonious idea in his brain is that he still needed to get close to Loki. Delve deeper into his madness and pull out the Asgardian prince who used to be.

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed this chapter ^_^ And thank you for reading. Also a big thank you and huggles to people who fav, follow, and review my fic. It amazes me and really means a lot to me that you all are reading and enjoying it. I hope you look forward to the next chapter...cause I know I can't wait to post it. Eheheheh