Chapter Ten - Miriam Iunctio
(Strange connections)
Severus awoke with a jolt. Tangled in the bed covers, his greasy hair stuck to his face with sweat and his heart pounding, this had to stop! For the fifth night running Miss Granger had invaded his sleep. It was bad enough that he should dream of any Hogwarts student let alone a Gryffindor and a female Gryffindor at that. He rubbed forcefully at his temples as if trying to physically erase the visions that had played out in his mind. Granger on the floor at Malfoy Manor, his hand on Granger's shoulder, Granger in his arms, her lips on his... Granger, Granger, Granger! There was a loud crash as the metal water goblet he had thrown hit the bookcase and ricocheted off into a collection of freshly washed glass vials.
'Curse you Hermione Granger!' he shouted.
He supposed he should summon Pippy to clean up the mess, but he couldn't bear the questioning look in the house elf's eyes when she saw the state of his room at three o'clock in the morning.
He sighed and retrieved his wand from the nightstand. With a casual flick and a silent incantation, the slivers of glass flew up from the floor and joined themselves back together on the shelf. Order restored, Severus decided that there was little point in going back to bed. He would shower, eat an early breakfast in his room and then go for a walk around the lake. Hopefully that would clear his head once and for all.
It was three o'clock in the morning when Hermione finally decided to give up on sleeping. She had tossed and turned all night long dreaming the same dream she had had for weeks. Her time at Malfoy Manor was over for Merlin's sake! Must she relive it night after night? The part of the dream that bothered her the most though was not the torture, the pain or the fear. It was Professor Snape. Try as she might she could not forget the look in his face as she lay on the Manor floor. She had thought he was going to save her, she had willed him with her eyes, but he had not moved, not even given her the slightest glimmer of hope that he was on her side. She normally awoke in a state of panic just as Bellatrix was about to fire the killing curse at her. Last night, however, for the first time, the end of the dream had changed...
She was laying on the cold, hard floor.
Professor Snape stood expressionless in the corner.
Bellatrix was laughing, eyes gleaming with excitement, wand aimed and ready to attack.
Death was imminent, she knew that. A single tear rolled down her cheek at the thought of never, ever seeing her parents or her friends ever again.
Green light. That would be the last thing she would see. Not Harry or Ron, not Hogwarts, not even the Burrow. Just green light. And nothing.
She closed her eyes, trying to block out all the fear and pain and greet death in a calm and peaceful way.
Her eyelids began to burn. This was not what she expected!
She opened them gingerly.
The whole room was filled with bright, golden light.
'This is it' she thought. 'This is Heaven'.
Then she noticed that the light was coming from something.
No, not something. someone. A woman!
She squinted in the light, trying to see who it was but the only feature that was clear was the woman's long dark hair that tumbled to her waist in waves.
The woman smiled at her, she smiled back and opened her mouth to ask who she was. Before she could speak the woman placed a finger to her lips in a gesture to be quiet. The glowing woman turned and said just one word...
'Severus'.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Severus Snape leaned against the ancient oak tree and looked out across the lake. It was a beast of a tree with a trunk so thick that as a child he had been able to hide behind it when times were difficult. The crisp morning air felt fresh and clean in his face and for the first time in days he felt calm. He had always liked this particular spot though he hadn't stood here for many years. Not since... well, not since he had lost the only true friend he had ever known. He turned and rubbed his palm across the weathered tree trunk. Sure enough, just below the bottom-most branch he felt a familiar indentation. A small heart burnt deep in to the bark, with the letters SS and LE entwined inside. He placed his hand over the childish graffiti and closed his eyes. It was here he had told her he loved her, here they had kissed (just one perfect time), here he had called her a mublood and here she had left him. He had returned here immediately after that fateful night in Godric's Hollow and he had never been here since.
He thought of her, of Lily (though he stumbled over the name), properly for the first time in months. He let the memories, good and bad, flood his mind so that the pain in his heart blocked out everything else for a few short moments. He let his grief and sorrow and guilt invade his very soul until there was nothing but a burning fire inside of him. Tears blurred his eyes, Lily's face the only thing he could see now, and he sank down onto the dew-damp grass, his legs unable to support him any longer.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Hermione had always liked this tree. The biggest, oldest oak that adorned the Black Lake. This is where she had always come when her first choice of solace (the library) was unavailable. It was big enough to hide behind when she had wanted to be alone. Through the years of teasing about her bushy hair, her teeth and of being a know-it-all, through her fights with Ron and her moments of overwhelming panic when Voldemort had returned. She loved to look at the graffiti-covered trunk, the many burnt on or scratched in hearts with their letters entwined. How many young lovers had made their marks here over the years? How many relationships had begun and ended under the shadow of its vast branches? She thought of Ron for the first time in ages. She loved him, she knew she did. They had been through so much together, planned a future together for after she finished school. The thought momentarily scared her. Did she really want to marry Ron? Did she love him any more or any different to how she loved Harry? Like a brother? For a moment she let her imagination flow... She saw herself standing at the window of the Burrow, waiting for her husband to return. Red-haired children playing in the garden while dinner bubbled away on the stove. She saw herself becoming more and more lonely, more resentful and less herself every single day. She pictured Ron's hurt and betrayed face as she told him she didn't love him anymore and she sank down onto the dew-damp grass, her legs unable to support her any longer.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Severus viciously pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes until dark spots covered Lily's face from view. He dropped his hands and rested his head back on to the tree trunk and breathed deeply. His vision began to clear, and he expected her face to appear once more through the murky clouds. Clearer and clearer the features became but an icy cold spread through his entire body as he realised the face in his mind was no longer Lily's...
It was Hermione Granger's!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Hermione angrily rubbed at her eyes until dark spots covered Ron's face from view. She dropped her hands and hugged her knees tightly to her chest. She breathed slowly and steadily, counting each breath in and out. Her vision began to clear, she expected Ron's hurt face to appear once more through the murky clouds. Clearer and clearer the features became, and a burning fire raced through her entire body as she realised the face in her mind was no longer Ron's...
It was Severus Snape's!