At least the sky was blue.

Crystal clear and blue when they woke up the day of the party, Kim tried to sneak out of bed without disturbing Adam, but it was futile. He was awake; as soon as she got up he would wake because he was so attuned to her right now. In the past she could get up and he wouldn't even stir but not anymore. Kim opened the blinds so that they could lie in bed and see the beautiful day outside before climbing back in and grabbing hold of Adam's hand. "It's going to be perfect." He whispered.

"Is it?"

"Yes, everyone we want to see and thank is going to be here."

"Except Leo."

"Except Leo." Adam agreed with her. It was a sweet few minutes that they spent talking about him. Lying facing each other in bed, their hands entwined.

"He would have been so handsome like his Daddy." Kim ran one hand through his wild looking hair. "I think he would have had your eyes."

"Do you regret not looking?"

"Not really. It seemed so invasive. Do you?"

"No." He'd seen too many lifeless eyes; he didn't want to see his son's. "But he had your eyelashes, long and dark, the girl's would have loved it." He ran one finger over her eye as she closed them, and then he kissed her softly. "And your beautiful lips."

"He was perfect wasn't he?"

"He always will be. Nothing will ever change him. I would love pulling my hair out in sixteen years time when he was running amok like I did but instead I get this. This beautiful boy that will never be spoiled and I get to always share him with you."

"He was lucky to have you as his Daddy." Kim could listen to him talk about their son all day. She struggled some days to talk about him but she loved listening to Adam, he loved his baby. From the day she told him she was pregnant Adam had embraced the thought of being a Dad, he had so many plans and hopes and dreams and it was cruel to see that snatched away from him.

Adam took a little bit of a gamble and snaked his arm around Kim's waist and pulled her body against his. "I want to kiss you." His eyes never left her face and she nodded and let him kiss her, not just softly. She welcomed his loving kiss, losing herself in him for a few minutes. It was needy and passionate and left them both a little breathless. Sometimes you didn't need words.

They took their time that morning. Adam got up and made them a coffee and they sat outside and contemplated the day ahead of them. It was going to be bittersweet, they wanted to be surrounded by the love of their friends and share Leo with them but it was also their last farewell. They'd said goodbye to him physically at the hospital, they had his funeral with their family and now this. It was the last time and that was a bitter pill to swallow.

Kim wanted was people to wear blue, she was wearing yellow and had picked out a yellow shirt for Adam but everyone else was in blue. There were no gifts, flowers or speeches. Kim didn't want it to be a wake, it wasn't meant to be a morbid reflection of their loss but a celebration of a little soul who had touched their hearts and a thank you to all their families and friends who had helped them from the moment Kim announced her pregnancy until they said goodbye to Leo. It was a chance to spend some time with the people who meant the most to them.

Adam and Kim held hands and quietly went around and thanked everyone personally who had helped them along the way. Will and Natalie had stuck around well after Kim had recovered from her mastitis to make sure it didn't come back, April and Maggie had been patient with Kim when she struggled to be nice while they massaged her breasts to get the lumps out and unblock her milk ducts and cried with her when her milk finally disappeared. That was a torturous time for Kim and something she struggled with, which had shocked them both a little. Kim didn't want her milk to come in or deal with it when it finally happened, then she had the mastitis and despite all that when the milk had dried up it came with the realisation that her body had finally accepted that she did not have a baby to feed. And that was a painful blow.

They had a lot of people to thank. Some of their friends had done a lot and for others it was just a comfort to know that people cared.

They had put some of the photos of Leo out in the downstairs office and told everyone that they were welcome to look if they chose. It didn't bother them either way if people wanted to see photos of Leo or not, Adam couldn't even look at them yet but some people had asked if they had a photo and up to now they hadn't let anyone see them. Kim had chosen just a few photos of Leo, that one and only photo of his face and the rest were photos of Kim cuddling him or of this hands and feet. If Adam refused to look at the photo of him with his son, nobody else was going to see it either and that was Kim's decision but he appreciated that she understood how he felt about it.

Even when they sent a message to those select few who they wanted to give the chance to meet their baby they made it clear that they were under no obligation to do so. It was their choice. Obviously Adam's parents and Nicole came in but Zoe did not. For a young teenager death was a very confronting concept and the thought of seeing a dead baby was too much for her.

Everyone in Intelligence chose to come in and having to tell them they needed to space out their visits if they wanted to hold Leo had bought home to them all the sadness of the situation. They all held Leo and grieved along with them but they took no photos nor did they offer.

It was hard not to keep a watch of who went inside so they tried to focus on the people outside and Adam and Kim did not stray far from each other all afternoon and it was nice to see and hear the occasional laugh and smile. Adam could tell when Kim was getting tired though and insisted that she sit for a while as she refused to go inside and lie down and he was happy to see Trudy sit with her and within minutes she had Kim laughing at some outrageous story she was telling as only Trudy could.

Adam continued to mingle and she would hear his laugh occasionally so she knew he was not far away. When she hadn't heard him for a while Kim looked around nervously and she couldn't see him or hear him and that made her heart flutter just a little. Pushing herself up of the couch she caught Kevin's attention. "Where's Adam?"

"I think I saw him go inside a few minutes ago. Probably just gone to the bathroom." He flung his arm around Kim's shoulder. "Today has been good girl. It's always nice to see your smile."

"Thanks Kev. I've had a nice time."

She got the distinct impression that Kev was trying to distract her by rambling on about how good a job he and Jay had done on their backyard. "I am surprised you know how to use a lawn mower?"

"Man of mystery. That's me."

"Kevin. Where's Adam?"

By the look on Kim's face she knew the gig was up. "He just needs a minute."

"Is he okay?"

"Of course he'll be out in a minute."

"I don't believe you." Kim unhooked his arm and disappeared inside. He wasn't downstairs and Kim started to panic until she found him upstairs in their bedroom, lying on the bed with his eyes closed.

"Adam."

He sat up suddenly. "Oh, hey. You okay?"

"Me? I am fine. What are you doing up here?"

"Catching my breath." Kim sat next to him and leant into his shoulder. He grabbed her hand and kissed it. He wasn't about to tell her he was trying to calm down.

Kevin and Jay had done their best to control the situation but Adam had caught the tail end of it. Gabby had made a comment about how she knew how Kim must feel because she'd lost Louie and everyone who heard it felt that it was a little insensitive, especially today. Jay had tried to change the subject even before he saw Adam approaching their small group. He had been talking with Gabby, Kevin, Sylvie and Antonio and obviously to conversation drifted to the reason they were here and to be fair Kim and Adam didn't' want people to shy away from talking about Leo. "How's Kim really doing?" Sylvie asked Kevin and that started Gabby off.

Gabby jumped a little when Adam appeared behind her and everyone else could see that he'd heard the conversation and by the bitterness in his voice they knew he was not happy. "It must be so hard for you to look at those photos of Louie smiling and playing or to watch those videos of him singing and dancing or to look at those photos and drawings you still get. I'd say, if you tried really hard you could even remember what it felt like to have his arms wrapped around your neck? I imagine it's hard to talk to him on the phone and to come home after you have visited him." Kevin put his arm on Adam's arm but he shrugged it off. "I understand you miss your foster child who went to live in a loving home with his family, I really do but please don't compare that to this. Please don't tell Kim you know how she feels because you don't, you don't know what it's like to hold your newborn baby and know that you will never see his eyes, see him smile or hear his voice. When all you want it is to hear him crying but you get nothing."

"Adam, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"I know you didn't, but how about you think before you speak for a change." It may have been harsh but right now he felt he had every right to be blunt. Not one person here, save for Voight knew what they were going through and his boss had never said, I know how you feel but he did let them both know that he understood how hard it was for them and they had the right to feel whatever they needed to feel and handle it however they wanted and he would be there for them any time of the day or night. Adam leant in close and whispered. "Please don't ruin this day for Kim."

It was his biggest fear; that someone was going to say something to Kim that would upset her. They knew that they had some big challenges ahead of them. Having not set foot outside the house since she'd been home from the hospital they were yet to cross paths with a pregnant woman or see a baby, it had to happen though and Adam was dreading it. For now though, he wanted to stay in this little cocoon and that's why these people were here, to be part of that cocoon, so that Kim could start the process, well both of them actually of socialising and engaging with people again. That was the most important part of today as far as Adam was concerned, that they took those first steps to putting their life back together and he'd be dammed if someone was going to ruin that.

"I'm not so sure." Kim was onto him though. Perhaps a side effect of all this was they had learnt to read each other in the most intimate way and while things were still so raw they weren't able to shield the other from their own heartaches.

"You know, it's just harder than I thought."

"Someone upset you?"

"How can you tell?"

"Because Adam I know you." He refused to tell her anything and it was a frustrating few minutes for her until they agreed to talk about it later.

"Right now, we need to show our faces again before Atwater takes charge and drinks all my beer or continues to try and convince people that he is the soul reason our backyard looks presentable." He pulled Kim up off the bed and kissed her softly. "By the way, I'm so proud of you, you amaze me every day, your strength and courage is inspiring and you look happy, or as happy as you can be and that makes me feel better."

"It's been good yeah?"

"Yep." They emerged back outside hand in hand and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon. Kim got some sense of who had upset Adam when he stiffened a little as Gabby came to say goodbye. She hugged Kim and Adam was shaking Casey's hand at the time and when she looked at her husband he was stony faced.

"Your baby was beautiful." Gabby looked at the both of them.

"His name is Leo." Kim repeated softly, whenever people did this she corrected them, she slipped her arm around Adam's waist and hated that he felt so tense all of a sudden.

By the time the party started to dwindle Adam had shaken off his bad mood and when only Intelligence was left it was almost back to old times. Kim loved that Adam seemed happy to accept the usual ribbing and teasing and was giving as good as he got and for a few moments life seemed normal all of a sudden, it was brief but it was comforting because it meant that maybe, sometime in the future it wouldn't always be such a struggle.

"Now." Trudy suddenly stood up. "We know you said that there were to be no gifts or flowers or what not but we basically ignored you and have something for you both." She nodded to Al, who disappeared inside and emerged a few seconds later with a large framed painting.

Kim reached for Adam's hand when Al turned it around and set down in front of them a beautiful painting of a lion cub. It was pencil and watercolour and a little abstract but it was stunning. They had commissioned an artist to produce a one of kind picture and everyone was delighted with the outcome and judging by the look on Kim and Adam's faces they were too.

"This is from all of us, for you, for your beautiful boy Leo. We wanted to give you something as unique and precious as Leo is and to let you know, every time you look at it that we are all heartbroken too." Kim and Adam were surrounded by their family in a group hug and they both felt the love and strength envelope them.

Adam, to date had rarely spoken about Leo's death to anyone let alone to a group. Jay had been a shoulder for him to cry on one night and he talked to Kim about it but that was it. On the day of his funeral he decided to stay quiet as did Kim and he hadn't given a speech so Kim was surprised when he started to talk.

"We actually don't know how to do this, we have no idea what tomorrow brings so we are just taking it one day at a time, which is better than three weeks ago when we were just taking it one breath at a time. What I do know is that my beautiful wife has been amazingly strong and courageous and supportive through something so painful that I didn't even know this kind of heartbreak ever existed. We wanted Leo to be here with us, but he's not and it hurts every single second of everyday."

Every single person was affected by Adam's quiet words, spoken softly and without looking at anyone; he just stared at Kim's hand in his and spoke from his heart. "I know every single one of you is feeling our pain. I know you all would have made sure that I came home every day to Kim and Leo, so that's how we know you are going to help us put one foot in front of the other until we don't have to think about how to walk anymore because that's what it feels like right now. It's like we have to remind ourselves everyday how to just breathe."

He turned to Kim. "I love you so much, tell me how to help you and I will."

"You are." She leant into him and whispered quietly in his ear. "You do and I love you for every thing you've done for me especially the past few weeks when you've wiped away so many of my tears I would have drowned without you."

It was a very emotional few minutes for everyone as they watched Adam kiss Kim gently. "Okay." He let Kim wipe away his tears. "Time for a drink." He disappeared inside and returned with a bottle of bourbon and enough glasses for everyone.

Holding Kim's hand and raising his glass Adam smiled. "For our Little Lion Cub."

"For Leo."

While the whole afternoon was very pleasant it was also nice to be alone again. Kim was tired; Adam could sense it later in the afternoon and quietly asked Trudy to get people moving, without letting on to Kim that he'd asked her too. She looked like she was enjoying herself but it was a long day and he was still wary about tiring her out too much.

Adam cleared off the mantle and placed the painting up on it. "It's great, hey?" he turned to Kim who was relaxing on the couch.

"It is. I know I didn't want anything just yet but it's beautiful and the sentiment behind it probably means more." Kim grabbed a cushion and laid it in her lap for Adam to use as a headrest. "I really enjoyed today, if you know what I mean?"

"You enjoyed being around our friends and loved ones. I get that; I totally get that. You know what I enjoyed to?"

"What?"

"Hearing you laugh and seeing you smile."

"That was good yeah?" She ran her hands through his hair. "Except for that moment you had. So, want to tell me what was said today that upset you?"

"Not really."

"Okay, let me rephrase that. What did Gabby say?"

Adam laughed. "Nothing gets past you does it?"

"Not when it comes to you, no." Kim had her hand on his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall. That was something they both definitely craved lately, that feeling of movement, subtle but comforting. "What did she say?"

"Doesn't matter now."

"I think it does." Adam closed his eyes and exhaled and then opened them again and found Kim watching him. "It matters to me Adam because I don't want you to get hurt anymore."

"How sweet are you?"

"Just looking out for my main man." She flexed her arm to show her bicep. "Tell me who I need to take on and I'll take them Baby." It was the first time she'd called him Baby since the day before Leo was born and it stunned him a little but he loved it. He always had.

Adam sat up quickly and kissed her hard and fast. "I adore you."

"Oh okay." Kim chuckled and pushed him away gently. "So?"

"It was a silly comment, it wasn't deliberate and I just want to forget about it."

"Adam?"

"No Kim, it'd done. It's over and I am okay. Can we just forget about it? I am sure I've said more dumb things that you could count. It wasn't malicious."

"I know you say dumb things, you can't help yourself."

"It's one of things you find endearing."

"Hmm…" Kim mumbled sleepily. "Keep telling yourself that."

It had been a long day and emotionally challenging but they had been surrounded by those who loved them and were going to help them figure their way out of this nightmare and they both slept a little better that night.

Just a little.