(Warning: This chapter will briefly discuss a character processing trauma, if that is too triggering, I will place a space in the chapter where you can scroll down and read a lighthearted chapter about a Christmas party. Apologies.)

Snape centered herself and took a deep breath.

She had been focusing on distancing herself, compartmentalizing her emotions.

It had been an effective coping tool when she was younger. It was a great way to drown out her parents arguing, or when her mother purposely would shut herself out from her life, or when her father hit her.

The further one felt in terms of emotional distance, the less likely one was to feel pain.

So she had been trying it with her feelings about the incident. She knew all things considered, she was fortunate. She hadn't been raped, but she still felt a deep sense of dread when she had to see him in class, or in the Common Room. She felt she had her sense of power taken away from her in a place she had always considered safe, Hogwarts.

One of the best tools for compartmentalization was to literally do just that: to imagine locking the memory up in a safe, far away and buried deep. Store the safe in a stone room in a castle, lock it, and walk up the stairs and outside and past the drawer bridge.

Snape could, if she wanted to, easily shut down in the face of something horrible. She had done that plenty of times when her father shouted at her or hurt her. Shutting down in front of Mulciber was no different. During the whole event, she was numb, physically and emotionally, to everything around her.

She wondered how Mary MacDonald handled the situation. Snape didn't know if she could even broach the subject with her. They were acquaintances at best, it just didn't seem appropriate to talk about.

It was best not to think about it. To focus on building those walls. She had been increasing her study of Occulmency. While she had a natural affinity for it, she had been learning the basics ever since she was a child. Some of her earliest memories of her mother were of her combing through her mind, looking through her memories every time she misbehaved and never trusting her. Mother used to do the same thing to Father, but Father never had the ability to block her out. It wasn't intentional at first, but then it happened one time when she was five and Mother had accused her of stealing money from her purse to buy sweets.

Mother tried to barge into her memories like usual, but she couldn't.

At first she was startled, but she didn't get angry at her for it. Instead she dropped the subject and mostly ignored her. Ever since, there had been a push and pull between the two of them. If she was ever suspected of anything, Mother would probe, and she would block. By now she had felt fairly confident in her abilities but that would not be enough. She'd need to practice more to fight off the Imperius.

(If you scrolled, here is where you should start the chapter)

As she lay in bed, she thought about the set of dress robes lying at the foot on top of her trunk. This was going to be a nightmare.

Gingerly, she got up and lit her wand. She lifted open the box and felt the delicate silk against her fingertips. She'd never owned anything made of silk before, only wool or cotton. Her mother owned a pair of Nylon stockings she had tried on once, but Mother yelled at her and demanded her to put them away before she tore them.

Uneasily, she lifted the robe up and placed it over herself while looking in the mirror. It fit tightly around the torso and flared out down the legs. There probably wouldn't be any time to let it out. While Honoria wasn't wrong, the color did make her look even more sallow than usual, Snape had to admit it was a nicely made garment.

But that was the problem. An ugly girl in a pretty dress wasn't going to look pretty, it would just emphasize her ugliness. Perhaps that was Potter's plan the whole time, to humiliate her in front of everyone.

She decided it would probably be a good time to get some air.

She grabbed her cloak and walked out to the Common Room.

"Where are you going at this hour?"

Snape stopped walking and turned to see Regulus, in his pyjamas with the Transfiguration textbook in his lap. He had a scroll of parchment unfurled, his meticulous notes charmed to glow at the spot he was studying.

"Just getting some air." Snape replied curtly.

"At three in the morning? Nice ensemble by the way. Though I'd pair it with a proper slip underneath and not a nightgown."

Snape noticed she was still wearing the dress robes and sighed. She would have to go back and change.

"Was it from your beloved?" Regulus asked jokingly.

"Oh, not you too." Snape groaned.

As she turned to head back to her room, Regulus motioned for her to stop.

"Wait, I just wanted to know what's going on with you two."

"Why would you care?" Snape asked.

She took a spot on one of the nearby armchairs. This might take a while.

Regulus chose his words carefully, "Well, you must admit it's a bit out of sorts for the two of you to get involved, considering your history together."

"And it's a bit off that someone like him would go for someone like me?" Snape asked accusingly.

"If we really are being blunt, then yes," Regulus replied. "So what's the reason?"

"No reason," Snape grinned menacingly. "We're just madly in love. Can't keep our hands off each other."

Regulus winced. "That was an image I could have done without. And I don't believe you."

"Do you need to? I don't think it's any of your concern," Snape rebutted.

"Well if this is a part of one of your schemes, then shouldn't I be kept abreast? We are partners in crime after all." Regulus casually turned a page and looked up, awaiting her response.

Snape chewed her chapped lip and thought about it. "Alright. You're partially right, it wasn't entirely organic in development. Potter knows that Rosier found out about the break-in, and thinks that if we're involved they are less likely to attack me in retaliation."

Regulus furrowed his brows. "Do you think they're capable of that?"

"With that much at stake, I know they are," Snape replied darkly. "I'm not sure we went about it the right way though, because I feel like they're more likely to do so to get a rise out of him, and I'll be the collateral damage."

"Oh come off it, Snape, you'll never be collateral damage. You cause it." Regulus pointed out.

Despite herself, Snape grinned.

"Will you be going to Slughorn's party?" Snape asked.

"Too young. I'll probably be there next year though."

"Pity. I would have appreciated having someone with half a brain to talk to."

"Then you'll have to be content to talk with your boyfriend. Who you should probably address by his first name. Keep calling him Potter and people are going to think something's not entirely right with you two."

Snape nodded, and decided she felt too tired to sneak out. She had far too much to think about for the next few days.

December went by fairly fast.

While Snape was sure the professors had eased up on the difficulty of the exams this year because of OWLS, it certainly didn't look like it to her peers, who were mostly cooped up in the library studying like mad.

All the while, it seemed that while she and Lily had tentatively patched up their argument, she was avoiding her.

Snape wasn't sure why exactly, but if Lily wanted space she would give it.

The Thursday before the end of exams, Snape made her way over to the empty classroom she and Potter had decided to meet in. It was still two hours from curfew, it certainly would not do to be caught sneaking around with her supposed boyfriend, so they'd have enough time to get their meeting over and done with.

"Thought you were going to be a no show," remarked Potter. He was lounging in one of the desks and idly fiddling with a snitch in his hands. He must have come back from practice.

"Are you allowed to take those?" asked Snape.

"It's mine, my dad gave it to me. Wanted me to try out for Seeker, but I didn't really have the build for it." Potter replied wistfully. "It's just sort of something to do, you know? Helps me focus."

"Oh." Snape nodded noncommittedly. "So what did you call me here for? Other than to waste my time."

"As charming as ever, aren't you Severa?"

Snape let out a sound of disgust. "Do you really have to call me that?"

"I mean, it would look odd if I didn't. That's why I wanted to talk to you. We're going to have to get our story straight." Potter motioned for her to sit down on the other desk and took out some parchment and a dictation quill. He charmed it to start writing.

"Our story?" Snape asked. "I think it's pretty simple. We both went temporarily mad and decided we were mutually interested in each other."

"Yes, but when, how, why? We've got to be consistent or it we'll give it away right off the bat." James laid out his plan so the quill could hear, "So I say we keep it simple: you couldn't resist my overwhelming charisma and you confessed your love to me, and I agreed to start seeing you."

"Absolutely not." Snape replied, arms folded.

The quill stratched out the previous statement, leaving a blot of ink at the end of the paper.

"Why not? Seems plausible enough." Potter replied casually.

"Do you genuinely think women are resisting the urge to fling themselves at you or are you just joking, please tell me it's the latter." Snape leaned back in her chair and let it rest against the wall. If he was trying to use casual lounging as a power move, she could do that too.

"Well, you aren't most women, Snape. You barely count as one."

"Thank you, James. This is my point exactly."

Potter raised his eyebrow at that statement.

"What are you implying?"

"I think the false bravado isn't really working for you. I'm sure you're considered objectively favorable to some woman or the other, but it seems like you're trying too hard. Who are you trying to prove yourself to?"

James yelled, "Oh you're one to talk. You can't even take care of yourself. You don't have much in the way of looks Snape, but you could at least try to wash your hair, or put on some makeup. I wasn't going to ask this but now I have to, are you going to try to look presentable?"

"What's the point? I'm still going to look like hag in a ballgown anyway." Snape yelled back.

She paused. "Why did you give me those robes anyway? Is it to humiliate me?"

Potter snorted. "Not everything is about you, Snape."

"Then enlighten me. Was it because you didn't want to be ashamed being seen with me in my school robes?"

"Partially," he replied, "And I thought it would be fun seeing you squirm, looking out of place in designer robes, and having to actively socialize with others, it would be torture for you."

"And to have me do it all by your side like I'm some trophy," she sneered.

Potter's eyes widened. "Well, I didn't think of that part, I needed a way to get you there and being my date was the easiest. But if you're into that, that's fine by me."

"Well now you've spoiled your little joke. Why tell me now?"

"Because you're still going to go see Evans." Potter deduced.

And damn it all, he was right.

They quickly settled on a story and left it at that.

The night of the party felt like it had gone on for eternity and she hadn't even set out of the Slytherin dormitories yet.

Honoria had been trying all sorts of potions for her hair, and it still looked limp and greasy.

She even got out her trusty bottle of Sleekeazy's, which ended up slicking it in a sort of wet look- which wasn't ideal for shoulder length hair. In frustration, Honoria tied it into a bun.

While H was insisted on makeup, Snape vehemently refused. No matter how much Honoria begged, she would never give into any trends that involved blue eye shadow.

When Snape approached the foot of Gryffindor tower, she was beginning to wonder if she really should just skip the whole thing. This was a bad idea.

But if she did, would she get another chance to talk to Lily without her trying to run away?

She waited about five minutes until she saw Potter and Black leave the portrait.

"I didn't think you'd show, Scervix." Black taunted.

"You don't look terrible," Potter stated approvingly.

"Thank you, now let's get this over with."

As the headed to the party, Black kept making jibes about her looks, and it was obvious he was trying to get a reaction out of her. Was he trying to get her to start something? Maybe annoy her into leaving?

He wasn't going to get that satisfaction. But what would bother him?

Smiling, she wrapped her arm over Potter's waist and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Oh darling, I think it's wonderful you asked me to accompany you to this event. It was about time we went public."

Startled, Potter blushed. "Yes, well, if you're happy so am I my dearest," he stammered. His eyes were pleading towards Black, who looked furious. His face was turning red.

She almost wanted to keep up the farce but stopped as they reached closer to the party.

It was a rather intimate affair by Slughorn's standards. There were small Christmas trees floating at various corners of his office, and vaulted arrangements of holly and evergreen branches wrapped in green and silver tinsel. The furniture had been moved out and a long table had been laid with a long white tablecloth and full table settings.

"Ah James, m'boy! Sirius! So glad you could come!" Slughorn patted Black on the back, he winced.

"Hello, Professor, thank you for inviting us." Potter replied politely.

"Not at all, please make yourselves comfortable. I've got a few of my former students here – over there is Amadeus Fenwick, a very skilled Enchanter who might have some advice on getting in the field. And we have an esteemed guest from the ICW, he's a recent graduate from Uagadou and might have some tips if you're interested in politics."

"We certainly will, Professor. But first we might just say hello to our peers."

"Splendid!" He replied "Jerome, m'boy!" He turned around and started greeting a Hufflepuff sixth year.

Snape wasn't bothered that Slughorn didn't even acknowledge her presence and ambled her way among the crowd to find Lily.

She was having an animated conversation with the Enchanter, and she looked gorgeous. She was wearing a set of emerald green dress robes that matched her eyes, and her auburn curls tumbled down her back.

She looked amazing

Snape stood next to her, taking in her presence.

"Oh hello there, are you interested in Enchanting too, young lady?"

Lily turned over to look at Snape. "Vera!" Much to Snape's surprise she hugged her. Snape reluctantly hugged back.

"How are you? It's been ages! Mr. Fenwick, this is my friend Vera Snape. She's brilliant, especially at Defence and Potions."

"Certainly not as brilliant as you are Miss Evans, I assume. Horace has been singing your praises about how you're practically a prodigy. Especially impressive considering your background."

Lily smiled weakly. "Yes, quite. It has been lovely learning more about your research Mr. Fenwick but I think I'd like to catch up with Vera."

"Of course, by all means."

"What a tosser," muttered Snape.

"Vera!" Lily gasped. "But you're right, he is. Has some really interesting work for voice-commanded cauldron control."

"Seems impractical and takes all the precision out of potioneering."

"That's what I was thinking but they'd be bloody convenient if they were reliable."

Snape shook her head. "Lily, I know I said some rather hurtful things earlier, if you're avoiding me because of that…"

"I'm not avoiding you Vera, I've just been busy."

"Lily, please. I need to say this. I'm sorry, and I mean it. Maybe I have been blind to my own bias and maybe I have been letting myself be blind to it, but I'm trying to fix that. I want us to get back to where we were before all this, and get back to us."

"Vera, that's very sweet but you don't have to explain anything to me I forgive you."

"You do?" Snape couldn't believe it.

"Of course, but I need you to be willing to act because you want to, and not because you think it's something that I'd want. Oh hello, Potter. Glad to see you here," she replied blandly.

Potter had escaped the large circle of students gathered around the ICW representative and found them, much to Snape's annoyance.

"Likewise, Evans. You look very nice this evening." Potter wrapped his arm around Snape's waist and she winced. Probably payback.

"Careful, Potter. You don't want to be too gushing in front of your date." Lily said vexingly. Snape thought it was a bit strange, but perhaps she was making sure Snape wasn't feeling insecure. She needn't have bothered.

"Oh, of course not. No one can compete with her tonight, I think she looks stunning," He turned to Snape and gave her a smile that looked almost fond. "Darling, we're about to be seated, we can talk with Evans later."

Dinner was a subdued affair, mostly Slughorn regailing students about his many connections, the respected guests getting a few words in edgewise, and students murmuring amongst each other.

Snape sat in silence, while Potter and Black talked amongst themselves.

Black made a rather off comment about a snake getting caught in her knickers, and Potter stifled a laugh before remembering that he was supposed to be defending her honor from such remarks.

"Oh come off it, mate. It's just a joke," muttered Black. "You can take a joke, right Scervix?"

Snape raised an eyebrow, and took a sip of her water. "Of course I can Sirius, but only if they're funny."

Black frowned. "You and Prongs might be seeing each other, but we're never going to be on first-name basis."

"Noted." She continued sipping her water.

"And when this farce of a relationship is over, we'll be back to our usual schedule." Black ontinued.

"Has James said our relationship was a farce?" Snape asked, trying to act hurt. "Because to me, it's very real. James, how could you?"

"Darling, it's not like that at all," Potter pleaded, "Please sit down, you'll make a scene." Potter looked like he would melt into the floor. Good.

"Very well then, My love." She placed her hand on his and reveled when she saw him flinch. "But your friend better apologize."

"I certainly will not." Black huffed.

"C'mon mate, just this once?" Potter asked.

Black started rubbing his temples. "I think I'm going to head in early tonight. You two can stay, but I have a splitting headache." He got up from the table and headed out the door.

Potter glared at her. "Now look what you've done. I hope you're satisfied."

"Extremely. Shall we dance after dinner?"

"Only if you don't step on my toes."

She did.

After they left the party, Snape felt giddy even though she hadn't had any alcohol. She had patched things up with Lily and ruined Black's evening all at once.

Potter looked miserable walking back.

"So was the plan to make Lily jealous? Because I think it was terribly thought out." Snape remarked casually.

"You don't think so? She certainly looked like she was jealous." Potter reasoned.

"Only because you were flirting with her in front of me. I think she respects me enough not to engage in that kind of behavior."

"Well she has been avoiding you lately, and for some reason she's been more eager to talk to me lately in a more civil manner. I think that's a positive sign."

Snape assessed him. "How often does she engage in arguments with you usually?"

"Well, usually we would argue about you," Potter continued eagerly, "But, now that things have changed between us, she's been talking to me about all sorts of things- mostly classes, but the other day we had a really nice conversation about Muggle music. Did you know she likes rock music too?"

"If you could count the Bay City Rollers as rock." Snape scoffed.

"But I think she's coming around. You're being by my side was apparently the catalyst for us to stop fighting. Who knows? Maybe once we officially 'break up', she might say yes if I ask her out."

"Of course she wouldn't. She would never date a friend's ex. It's considered a faux pas amongst girls."

Potter's face fell. "Is that so?"

"And anyway, she's not jealous. She's just being nice to you because you're my boyfriend. The minute we 'break up' things will go back to normal."

"Want to prove it?" he challenged. "I was thinking we'd end this after tonight, but let's keep it going until OWLS. If she hasn't changed in her behavior after that point, then perhaps you're right."

"You wouldn't be able to last that long with this charade anyway." Snape countered.

"Well I think you'll crack sooner. Especially since the others don't know it's fake. Do you think you can handle spending time with the four of us on a regular basis?"

"You know I would rather pull my own eyes out. But, you seem to be handling this worse than me. If I can torment you just a little longer, I don't see a problem in this. Though same stakes, no funny business."

"No cheating got it." Potter nodded.

"I meant no intimacy. I'm not doing anything to you, lets make that clear."

Potter gagged. "Like I'd want that. And if I needed that sort of thing, I could get it from any girl in school."

"I don't think Lily would want to be with a philanderer though," Snape responded.

Potter frowned. "Good point. I can wait."

"Well that's settled. Do we have to do any established displays of affection?" asked Snape.

"I'd expect you to come to my Quidditch matches, sit on my side, but nothing too spectacular." Potter replied, running his hand through his hair.

"I could do that. When do you want me to send back this dress?"

Potter blinked. "Oh, you can keep it. It's custom made after all, I can't exactly return it."

Snape shuffled uncomfortably. "Oh, um thank you."

"It was nothing," replied Potter. "Really."

As they went their separate ways, Snape was thinking of new ways to torment Potter in her new role.