Disclaimer: Had Gossip Girl been mine, you would have probably gotten new episodes after three month hiatuses.

Serena woke up the next morning with questions on the tip of her tongue and an empty space beside her. Rubbing her eyes, she snorted. What had she expected? Cuddles and soothing words, who does she think she vowed to spend the rest of her life with? Nathaniel Archibald? First few minutes of the morning and Dan had already found a way to make her upset. She was married to Dan. And she has to make this marriage work. Because that is how it was supposed to be. The Lonely Boy and the It Girl. Dan and Serena. It was just how it was supposed to be damn it! Whatever her heart felt for Nate can shove itself. Because Nate and her, were always always forbidden. The boyfriend and the best friend. They were wrong. They were not meant to be. There was Blair and now there is Dan and well, no. Just no. All her thoughts were wrong. Whatever she felt was wrong. Her missing Nate was wrong. Her loving Nate was wrong. It was all so so wrong. And yet, Nate's arms were her haven and his voice her prayers.

Serena held her forehead and rocked back and forth on her bed. She needed answers, she decided. She needed to know why Dan came back. She needed to know what she felt for him. She needed to know what would make this marriage work, but more than that, she needed to know why she felt for Nate, what she has never felt for Dan. This undying fire in her chest, which would burn her insides if she doesn't let it out. And for all of that, she needed Dan. But where was he?

In Nate Archibald's office, that's where.

Nate Archibald, the man with the papers deciding his monetary status in the market and Serena's future lying in front of him. Across him sat the aforementioned Dan, offering him a pen. He sighed and took it. Just before he signed them though, he looked up directly in Dan's eyes and said in the quietest and most somber tone anyone had ever heard Nate Archibald speak.

"Never hurt her, Dan. Not one more tear, not one moment of sadness. Promise me." He said. He was losing the girl he had loved for as long as he could remember. He was bloody well signing the papers that would confirm that she never become his, so kindly excuse the dryness of his throat.

"You have my word." That was perhaps not much, but Nate took it. Serena will have the love and life she has tried so hard on. He will sleep in peace knowing that she will never find out anything about this deal.

Nate signed those papers. From here on, Dan Humphrey owned 30 percent of his business and Serena Van Der Woodsen had the happiness that shouldn't have had a cost in the first place.

"There you go, Dan. I fulfilled my promise. If you break yours, you'll have me to answer to." He almost sounded like giving a warning. Nate had no idea what he was feeling. He had just ensured that the woman he loved would never find out about anything. The deal, her husband, his emotions. Nothing. Ever. Nate Archibald perhaps lost everything the day Serena gained her happiness. But when you come to think of it, if it helps Serena, it was always worth it for Archibald.

Dan stood up, and grabbed the file that held the deal papers. "I'll get them registered in the court tomorrow." He said.

Nate nodded. He really didn't care.

"I will take your leave now," Dan informed him, "she'll be happy. I'll try to keep her happy."

But what was there to try really, Nate wondered. If you love Serena with all your heart and soul, she is happy. That's all it takes to make her happy; love. What was there to try? All you have to do is love her and treat her the way she deserves to be treated. What's there to try?

Perhaps he was right. Truly tragic, isn't it? Having the key to the lock that keeps away from the world, the finest treasure known to mankind, and yet, not being the person to unlock it? Much much more tragic is being the only person who can love someone with as much conviction, as Nate did Serena. It truly sucked, not being able to say anything. Nate sighed. There was work to do today. He grabbed the first file at his desk, and paid no heed to the pain in his chest.

When Dan Humphrey opened the door to his house, he saw his wife sitting in the main lounge, perfectly composed, almost looking prepared for something. The triumph in his chest for a moment felt threatened by dread. He quickly shook off the feeling.

"Hello Serena," he greeted her.

"Back so early?" she replied without missing a beat.

"What?" he asked perplexed, then look at the file in his hand and let out a nervous chuckle. "Oh, I wasn't at the office."

"Right." Serena didn't bother asking where he was. She didn't feel like bothering with him at all. And while feelings like these brought about a sense of guilt earlier in the days, now they didn't make her feel anything. With Dan, she realized, she had stopped feeling. "I have to ask you something," she continued.

Dan raised an eyebrow in response. "I'll just keep all this stuff away then," he said motioning to the papers in his hands.

"Just stay here, hopefully it won't take long." Serena's tone was clipped.

Dan kept the file on a table as near to him as possible, and faced her. Prepared for everything that he thought she could possibly throw his way.

"Why did you decide to reconcile with me?" Serena got straight to the point. She felt a sudden surge of pride as she saw him look taken aback by so direct an inquiry.

"What do you… mean?" he asked unsure.

"You walked out of this house. We didn't see each other for months. You even sent in divorce papers. Three days later, and you want me back in your life. Ready to work on a relationship that we were struggling with, for a year. I just want to know, what made you change your mind." Someone should have rewarded Serena for her composed demeanor and an expressionless face in spite of the flurry of emotion inside her.

Dan would have been lying if he didn't admit that he was surprised by Serena's behaviour. Serena who had always tried to normalize everything between them, who had never once acknowledged that they had their differences, who always thought that their marriage was rainbows and butterflies had just come up and told him that the two of them were struggling with their marriage for a year when he walked out. Her insistence on their perfect marriage had always annoyed Dan. What did she know? She was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. The It Girl of the UES. She didn't have to struggle like him. So when she asked for love and cuddles, it truly agonized him that she didn't value his pay cheque as much as she valued the dinner she made some nights. She wasn't aware how difficult it was to be deemed worthy of being her husband. He had always tried so hard to provide the two of them with a good and luxurious life, what, then, was so wrong about not showing up to some anniversary on time?

"I just realized we should work on this marriage once more," he replied calmly.

"I know. My question was, what made you realize that?" she asked again. Clearly not satisfied with the answer he provided.

"I realized I missed you, S." This was a complete lie and he knew that. He didn't miss her. Hell, no phone calls while he dealt with his clients were a blessing. But a thirty percent share in one of the most reputed media companies of the city had been too good and offer to refuse.

"Oh, you realized you missed me three days after you sent me the papers that could terminate our relationship?" Serena had decided that today, her feeling will take whatever route that Dan showed them. A small part of her wanted Dan to remove all the doubts in her head. The larger part wanted Nate. When had the part that wanted Nate had so completely overpowered the sensible part of her that valued her marriage, she had no idea. All she knew right now was that Dan's vague answers were just fueling her need for Nate to be standing right beside her, holding her hand.

As for Dan well he was getting annoyed. He hadn't signed up for this when he had decided to move back. Why did his wife want to talk about every aspect of their relationship was beyond him. Couldn't she just leave him in peace? His life was his.

"Look Serena, don't grill me with the whole I-am-your-wife routine. You wanted this, didn't you? Us living together? So why do you have to question it once it has happened?" Dan's annoyance was crystal in his voice.

Their anger at each other was a cycle. Her anger enraged him, which enraged her even further. A cycle. A vicious one. Serena didn't want to stop. Months of loneliness. Confusion. Losing Nate. All because of the man in front of him. She wanted her answers. She wanted to know why he left her. And why he came back. And how did Nate fit into this. This scenario. Her life. Why was she missing Nate when she had her husband back? She took a deep breath.

"Look Dan. I am not in the mood of getting into a fight. Why can't we have a mature conversation for once?" Serena said, finally exasperated.

"Mature conversation?" Dan almost scorned. "What mature conversation Serena? Here I am. Back with you, just like you wanted. But you can't just accept that in peace, can you. Oh, no. Let's be Serena Van Der Woodsen and pull the whole dramatic act, because she can!" Dan was nearly screaming at the end of his rant. He didn't want Serena to know what lay in the file on that table. He didn't want to tell her he loved her, because with that came the commitment that he was not ready to fulfill yet. For crying out loud, he didn't want to have a conversation with her right now. No matter how easy he tried to make things for them, Serena always found a way to complicate them.

Perhaps Dan didn't realize that Serena wasn't the person he had left. This Serena wouldn't cry for days and hope for him to return. No. This Serena was ready to set her life straight. This Serena was not afraid to question what she was feeling. And if Dan was pushing her towards Nate then this Serena refused to feel guilty about it. And this Serena didn't want to normalize things anymore. If Dan was angry, she was furious. So furious in fact, that her voice wouldn't leave her. What came out of her mouth was a quiet sound shaking with anger, very much different from her voice. "Look, Dan. You don't get to do the I-did-this-for-you act. No, you don't. If you would've come back for me, I would have felt it. I didn't. You don't get to make me feel grateful that my husband isn't acting like a douche bag anymore. I asked you a question and I want my answer. Why, exactly, did you come back?"

Her voice carried an emotion so unknown from Serena to both of them, that by the time she was done talking, the only two people in the room were taking in labored breaths. In. Out. Out. In. Completely out of sync. Just like everything else they ever did.

"Serena –" Dan began, his voice cracking like his knuckles from sheer annoyance.

"No. Why did you come back?" Serena repeated, anticipating another rant or a vague excuse.

"Why do you even care? You have your happy, perfect marriage, don't you?" Dan said, moving towards their bedroom, clearly done with the woman standing in front of him.

Dan's first step towards the room where she had kissed Nate, and something in Serena snapped. She quickly moved towards Dan and roughly turned him, grabbing hold of his shoulder. And before she knew what happened, Serena had pushed Dan out of the sheer anger that she had trapped inside of herself for months now. "You don't get to run away damn it! I need my answers!" She had screamed so loud that she felt her lungs burn. Moving towards Dan she got hold of the front of his shirt and shook him hard. "You don't get to play the coward anymore Dan Humphrey!" She said, shaking him as hard as she possibly could.

"What is wrong with you Serena?" Dan screamed equally loud and in his attempt to get himself free of Serena's hold, roughly pushed her. Serena staggered backwards and tried to balance herself on the table that was behind her. The table on which laid the file that was the answer to all her questions.

The file fell to the ground, as its front cover flew open, clearly announcing to the world that it belonged to 'The New York Spectator." As if on impulse, Serena picked up the file and looked at Dan. He looked as if he was trying his hardest to disguise his panic as confidence. If Serena had any doubts left, the look on Dan's face removed all of them. This is it. This was her answer. Nate had something to do with Dan coming back. Serena quickly scanned the pages before her. And Dan made no attempts to stop her. Whether he was too shocked and panicked to recover enough to stop Serena, or whether he did want her to read the papers, nobody knows.

With every line that Serena read, she felt as if her lungs were too big for her chest and they were crushing her heart. Not ready to believe what she was reading, she looked up at Dan. And for the very first time that day, Dan Humphrey saw Serena's eyes reflect tears.

"What is this Dan?" She asked him, gesturing at the papers. Her voice quiet and her entire body shaking for another reason this time.

"Your answers." He replied shortly.

Serena looked at the papers again, as if praying and hoping that she read them wrong. And then she looked up to Dan for clarification. And Dan had the grace and dignity to provide her one.

"Nate asked me, what will it take for me to get back together with you. I offered him a deal, and he eventually took it." Dan told her truthfully. Sure, he didn't love Serena anymore, that didn't me he didn't wish well for her. He knew how important Nate's friendship to her was. And he decided he didn't want to take that from the two of them. Dan Humphrey didn't lie. He told her the truth. Like it was.

And in that one moment of sanity before Serena lost all control of her emotions, she did what she thought was the best thing to do. She tore the papers in her hands. Nobody takes away from Nate what he had earned so hard to get. Nobody.

Dan watched her tear the papers. The deal was off. He knew that the moment Serena had picked up that file. There was no point fighting over it. Dan Humphrey will never be entitled to thirty percent of the NY Spectator.

Without another word, Serena moved towards her room. Dan heard the sound of someone rummaging with something, and sure enough, three minutes later Serena was back in the living room, a file of her own in her hands. She calmly handed it to Dan without even so much as looking at him.

Dan opened the file, already knowing what it was. Serena had signed the divorce papers, that he held. He made one last attempt to get Serena to talk. He didn't love her, he knew that much. But never in his right mind did Dan imagine that he had completely shook Serena to the core. He tried getting something out of her, in his one last meager attempt.

"Serena –"

"You're free, Dan."

"But –"

"Please leave."

"Serena, you need –"

"Dan, I beg of you," her voice shook, "please leave."

Dan sighed, and accepted defeat. He wasn't as brave as Nate Archibald. He wouldn't even try.

"I will register these in the court tomorrow," he said, for the second time that day. Serena didn't respond. With that, Dan Humphrey exited the apartment.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Serena Van Der Woodsen collapsed on the floor. Her body wrecking with sobs.

On the other side of the door, Dan made a call to Nate Archibald. He waited as the tone rand loud in his ears. Before Nate could even say anything after picking up the phone, Dan shortly informed him. "The Deal is off, Nate." He disconnected. That was it. Five words from Dan and Nate knew where he had to be. With Serena.

Nate Archibald left his office, leaving everything just as it was and ran across the lobby. He halted on the door to his secretary's office and told her to cancel all his meetings for the day.

"But what about the staff meeting regarding the partnership deal?" Hannah asked.

"The deal is off." He said, quietly. Turning in his head, over and over again, the real implication of that statement.

Nate Archibald drove at the speed of wind. Drove faster than he had ever driven. He didn't care about the dirty looks that the Upper East Siders threw at him. He needed to get to Serena. All he could hear was the constant thud of the blood in his temple vein. His entire body felt warm. His eyes hurt for some reason and he clenched the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles turned white. Serena knew everything.

The First Night he had turned up. The kiss. The date. Serena's reaction when she saw the divorce papers. That day at the supermarket. This morning when he signed those papers. It was like a movie in front of him and Nate couldn't even close his eyes. Serena.

Nate suddenly hit the brakes and the car came to a halt with a screech. Nate didn't care, he got out of the car as fast as he could and ran towards Serena's apartment.

Frantically, he knocked on her door. Once. Twice. Thrice. There was no reply.

"Serena?" Nate called out. No reply.

"Serena!" He called out a little louder this time. He didn't get a response.

Nate began to panic. What if Serena did something stupid? Is she even home? Where is Serena?

Nate banged his fist against the door. "Open the door Serena! I swear I will break in otherwise." He banged harder.

After about five minutes of beating his fist against the wooden door, panicking and calling out Serena's name over and over again, Serena opened the door.

Her eyes red. Her face pale. Her expression calm.

"Want to save the day, again Archibald?" He voice was steel cold. And just about now, when Serena greeted him with those accusing eyes and a voice so cold that it froze his bones, did Nate realize that he could have taken thee coward's way out. He couldn't have come. He didn't have to face Serena. But even then, the idea seemed irrelevant. Serena had found out, and Nate will take whatever she gives to him.

"Serena, listen –"

She held up her hand to stop him from speaking. "Please save the two of us the embarrassment and leave."

"Serena, you need to –"

"No. I don't need to do anything anymore. I don't have to meet you. And you don't have to play hero."

Nate made to step inside, but Serena stopped him. "Don't you dare step foot inside my house Nate Archibald. You have interfered enough. Leave me alone." She said. Her voice so quiet, it sounded like a threat.

"I can explain –"

"LEAVE!"

"But –"

Serena slapped him. Right across the face. It stung. What stung more,however, Nate's cheek or Serena's heart, nobody knows. But it stung.

"I trusted you," she whispered.

"I know," he replied, just as quiet.

"You betrayed my trust," she accused.

"I know," he replied again.

This was killing Serena. This constant acceptance of his mistakes. Serena wanted Nate to defend himself. To make excuses. To argue. Instead, he just stood there, silently accepting all the accusations that Serena made. And this infuriated her, because she wanted to hate him. Hate what he makes her feel. Hate what he does to her. But he just stood there. Silent.

Out of sheer frustration and anger, Serena punched his chest. Once. Twice. Thrice. Over and over again. And Nate took it as if it were the gift from the Gods. Quietly accepted all the pain that she wanted to cause him with his eyes closed.

"Why? Why did you do this Nate? I trusted you." She kept punching him, tears flowing freely. Because she loved him. And she hated him. "You just dealt off my happiness. You didn't even tell me!"

She punched him. Wanting to cause him as much pain as possible. Wanted him to realize what he made her go through. Wanted him to know that she loved him, even though she felt she shouldn't.

"I hate you." She whispered.

And just like that Nate Archibald's world crashed around him as he opened his eyes. She hated him. She hated him. He never got Serena's love. And today, he lost her trust, as well. Suddenly, Nate Archibald felt like he was the most helpless creature on the planet. He lost everything. There was nothing left to lose.

There was nothing left to lose.

And if this was the case, then Nate decided he'll talk. He'll say what he has to say. She already hated him, he can't screw this up any more.

He made to move inside the house again. Serena pushed him away, but this time he just grabbed her by her upper arms, pushed her inside, and still holding her, entered the house. He turned the two of them around so that Serena's back was pushed up against the now closed doors, and Nate stood so close that he could see the tears on her eyelashes.

"You hate me." He whispered. And Serena nodded.

"You should." He told her. Serena just kept staring at him. Because she hated him, because she loved him. So much. With such intensity that she was burning inside.

"You are right. I didn't respect your trust. I deserve all the pain you want to throw at me." Nate whispered, he eyes beginning to shine with tear.

Their breath was labored. And he held her. So close. Because he wanted her to understand.

"Why did you do this Nate?" Serena asked. Her voice quiet. "Why did you hurt me so?"

"Because I am in love with you." He replied, calmly. As if it was the truth that the world revolved around. To be fair, his world did.

Serena just stood there shell-shocked at his words. She didn't know what had happened. But suddenly, she felt her heart beating fast and she felt her anger rise. Because he can't love her when she hates him so much in this moment.

"I always loved you. Since we were sixteen," and now, his voice shook as tears made their way down his cheeks. "You didn't. And it was fine. I had learnt to live with it."

Serena felt dampness on her face. She couldn't tell if it were his tears or hers. She didn't know when, but Nate's hands had moved from her upper arms and were now slowly caressing her face. And Serena loved him.

"I broke your trust," he said, his voice shaking, "you should hate me." Tears flowed freely down his face. "This is not how you treat someone you love. You don't make their happiness so worthless that it could be dealt of. I did wrong. I am a wrong person. I shouldn't love you. I shouldn't be here. But I swear to God Serena, you didn't see yourself that night. The night he sent those divorce papers." Serena felt the hands on her face shake and she saw his lips quiver, and she felt tears leave her eyes.

"I was so scared. I didn't want to lose you Serena. I couldn't. Not so completely. So I went to him. I succumbed. I broke your trust. I made you hate me. And you should." He said, resting his forehead on hers, as she without her own knowledge grasped his sleeves and held tight while her heart beat painfully against her chest and her tears flowed freely.

"I am in love with you Serena." He whispered once more. And with all the courage that he had got left in him, he kissed her.

He softly placed his lips on hers and lovingly caressed them. Without any urgency, he just felt, possibly for the last time. He felt Serena in the truest form.

"I love you," he whispered, lips still on hers.

"I hate you," she whispered, making no attempt to remove her lips.

"You should," he replied.

Serena pressed her lips to his again, because she shouldn't. Because she loved him. But she wouldn't tell him. She wouldn't tell him.

They broke apart. His forehead still rested on hers. Their eyes still closed. Their faces still damp.

"Please leave." Serena whispered, clutching the front of his shirt tightly.

"I will." Nate replied. He removed the shirt from her grasp and made to walk outside.

He opened the door and stepped out.

"You won't have to see me again for a while Serena. Just know, that I am sorry." With those words Nate Archibald closed the door behind him and made a call to his Grandpa Van Der Built.

He was ready to lead that Van Der Built Campaign to Pennsylvania for the political conference.

Nate Archibald was leaving and Serena Van Der Woodsen didn't even know.

A/N: Hi. I am back! Please don't kill me? I had exams. I swear. A levels. And then I am struggling with college choices. And I will be leaving all my friends behind so I have been pretty busy with them. Emotional upheavals and withdrawal symptoms and all.

Anyways, if any of you is still reading this thing, we are left with one more chapter. After which, the climax, which will be relatively short. So yeah, I won't be going on such long hiatuses anymore. Expect quick updates now.

I am quite proud of how some of this has turned out and some of this I think sucks. Let me know in your review what you feel.

I tried redeeming Dan a little. And I hope I wrote the Nate/Serena sequence well enough. And for those of you who don't remember that Pennsylvania scenario, it's mentioned in Chapter 6. Basically, Nate is leaving for six months.

Also, I apologize from the depth of my for keeping you guys waiting. I will try my level best that it doesn't happen again. I love you guys. And I love that you like this story enough to read it. I am truly sorry. Believe me.

Please Review and let me know what you thought about this chapter. Your reviews are what encourage me to keep writing.

P.S Ignore any grammatical errors, it's six in the morning here, I will try to correct them as soon as possible, I promise!

Until the next chapter (which will hopefully be soon), ciao.