All gold does not glister

Chapter 11: Severus' secrets

Tarikairis...

It is millions of light-years away... Or perhaps only at the distance of a few seconds?

A world where elves, dwarfs and mankind live side by side – though not always peacefully. Where the forests are green, mountains high, creatures lively and curious. Where magic flows strong in elves and dwarfs as well as in the earth and the air.

Tarikairis. The elves are its firstborn race, with the most longevity and the most peace loving souls.

It is the world between all and every world, where the worlds cross like roads tend to do. There you can go anywhere through the Gates, and it is told not even time can limit travelling between worlds...

#Remembering the past.#

Severus:

That first year, the year Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy came to Hogwarts, I watched idly as the sorting went on. At the same time those two troublemakers arrived to drive us all crazy, I made a discovery that forever changed my existence. I had an eleven-year-old half-elf son. To say I was shocked by the events of that peculiar evening would be an understatement. If I'd been any older, I fear I'd have had a heart attack.

I remember wondering why Minerva hesitated a little in the middle of the S's as she called out the names of the first years from her scroll. The children were being at least semi obedient, waiting to go to the front to put the Sorting Hat on top of their little whining heads. Yes, I don't like children much. Yes, they do irritate me very dearly. And yes, I don't really care either.

Twelve to Hufflepuff, ten to Ravenclaw, eight to Gryffindor and fourteen to Slytherin. Quite a good capture that year to my house, quite good indeed. The most shocking addition to Slytherin had been Harry Potter. Who would have guessed? Certainly not me. That had been the mildest shock, however.

No sooner had the Potter boy claimed his seat next to Malfoy, than suddenly the doors of the Great Hall were flung open.

Two figures stepped in, one long and slim – and for some reason he had a very familiar look and feel – and the other shorter, and smaller. A grown up man and a boy, I had not been able to figure out either's age at first glance.

Everyone held their breath. Even I. They gave off a strange magical buzz and their unexpected entrance set everyone on edge. Most were expecting an attack.

They stepped further into the hall, without a sound. Just when they came to stand right in front of the Head Table, I finally noticed that Fawkes, Albus Dumbledore's phoenix, had been sitting on the boy's shoulder. A small, delicate hand reached out to stroke its feathers, caressing, then the boy had walked straight to Albus and handed the bird to him carefully over the table.

The man, who came in with the boy, chose that moment to open his mouth, forever changing my life.

"Severus Snape." It was almost a whisper, though loud enough to ring in the hall like a cry. I should have known in that moment who stood before me. I'd only ever met one man who could do that without even a hint of a spell.

I turned towards the man and froze. He looked familiar. Something about him tickled at my memory. Something about his face. No, his eyes. His eyes...

"Yes?" I asked coldly, as was – and still is – my habit. Well, I had made an exception once. A long time ago, an event best forgotten – for my heart's sake if for no other reason.

"It is good to see you again." There was a short pause. I felt shocked. But he continued, though, as if aware of my feelings, as his softer voice let me know. "I brought my son, our son, as requested. And I do hope you take good care of him while he is here."

I had only been able to stare at him. His son. Our son? My son?

"I beg your pardon?" I managed to croak out, caught between a desire to strike him or flee to the sanctuary of my dungeons, away from the curious stares.

"You do not remember me, Severus?" Something, like hurt, crossed his bright green eyes.

Those eyes. Beneath me. Over me...

"Dray?" was all I was able to slur out. My voice, thank Merlin, had been a hoarse whisper. The crowd in the hall kept staring, but they hadn't heard. Good.

"Aye." A smile rose to his eyes.

"Severus, you can use my office. I'll be there soon", Albus told us, that damned twinkle in his blue eyes.

I nodded, put back my normal face, rose from my seat, and led the two of them to the Headmaster's office. I thanked the old doddering wizard the entire way. I don't think I'd have lasted the scrutiny much longer, and this conversation was best done in private, if it had to be done at all.

Once in the office, I made myself a drink. Something I did only on /very/ rare occasions.

Just when I had been about to toss the drink down my throat, a gentle hand stopped me.

"No", Draylaner urged me softly, but with the kind of authority in his voice that demanded, not asked. The quiet authority I'd learned to expect from him over our association, our far too brief association.

I scowled at him. It was all his fault. All of it. Don't ask me why, but I was certain of it. It all went back to him, really. Everything. And nothing. And I needed that drink.

The elf man, yes he was an elf, a Kae-Enathe to be exact, raised his hand to touch my cheek gently, longingly.

"Such a long time..." The soft voice grew hoarse by the last word.

I covered his delicate hand with mine, leant lightly against his touch, and my eyes closed. Merlin, it hardly mattered anymore whose fault it was. Yesterday had returned with a vengeance and it was all I could do not to lose myself to the memory of him, the smell of him. His touch brought every last moment back in painful detail. Every laugh, every tear, every last scar reopened.

Draylaner rubbed my cheek and sighed, stepping back. I watched as the raven-haired boy pushed him gently to a chair, touching the man's face affectionately. "Nhara, rekatcha. Raeth... (Nhara, calm down. Father...)", the boy had glanced at me shortly, "sarir san. Ta koda ian nahda. (loves you. He's just surprised.)"

Dray's sudden lack of strength sent a shiver through me. Was he ill? I couldn't remember him like this. He was, or should I say she was – when last we'd been together, Dray had appeared as a female, heshe was a shape-shifter - energetic, lively and at the same time so calm. But never had I seen him in such a... weak state.

I was also shocked. How could have the boy known about my feelings? Was I that transparent to him? Me, the master of Occlumency? Though, it had been interesting that the boy had stressed that I loved Draylaner to try and calm the elf. As well as I knew, any other child would had said that he loved his farther, not pressed the love of an unknown as a comforter.

"Rac sa koda nehta kii na, Pei Haest (Don't you worry about me, Little Crow)", the older elf replied gently. He ran one hand across his pale face, then lifted his gaze to me. "Severus, this is my, our son Saramil. I suppose he can use your last name here, am I right?" He pushed the boy gently towards me. "This is your father, Little Crow. And, yes I know that you full well know who he is."

"Father Severus", the boy said softly, brushing his left hand's fingers past his forehead, bowing his head lightly.

I recognized it as a Kae-Enathe's – the sea-elves of Tarikairis – greeting to somebody one wished to become friends with. So, I copied the movement, saying my son's name for the first time.

"Koda sa nahda? (Are you surprised?)", a feminine voice commented from the boy's direction.

Draylaner clicked his tongue once. "Be polite, Faemel."

A little red dragon came into sight, and I watched with wonder as it had bowed to me elegantly.

"This nosy little creature is Faemel. She has bonded with Saramil, and can talk as well as make sarcastic notes." I clearly heard the laughter in his voice when Dray introduced the small dragon.

Before I had a chance to say anything in response, Albus marched in, eyes twinkling madly.

"Ah, you're here", the Headmaster announced unnecessarily. Of course we were there. As if he hadn't known full well that we'd obeyed his command without delay.

"Albus, I assume", Draylaner said bowing lightly – he had stood up just before the office's door had swung open. His bow was as cold as winter. Then again, Draylaner had always been a Kae-Enathe to the core. And they didn't really like humans. Or rather, they didn't like outsiders.

The old man looked a bit put out by the elf's lack of respect.

The entire event was very interesting in the extreme. Seeing Albus snubbed was always amusing.

"I am Draylaner son of Aneja", the elf introduced himself even more coldly than my usual tone. "And this is Severus' and my son Saramil. I got a letter from you, but could not read it. Luckily, your companion was able to tell us what was in it", he nodded towards Fawkes and handed the letter he had spoken about to me.

I read it quickly. It had been addressed to one Saramil Snape, and included an invitation to come and study in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, as well as list of supplies.

"You knew?" was the only thing I was able to get out of my mouth. It was a blatant accusation. How could Albus have hidden this from me, knowing what it would mean? What it might mean for all of us.

To my surprise it was Draylaner who asked me to calm down. He subtly suggested that it had been Fawkes who had known.

"Please, sit down everyone", Albus asked, somewhat sadly.

When we had obeyed, I allowed myself the luxury of running my hand through my hair. Merlin, I still needed a drink. I glanced at the glass I had laid on the Headmaster's table. But I had decided, I wouldn't touch it. At least not with my son in the room. Bloody hell, my son. Instead, I turned my gaze to Saramil, my son. The thought would take a while to cement in my brain. As it was, I felt lucky that I was even capable of processing the information at all.

Saramil had Dray's features for certain, straight lined little nose, high cheekbones, narrow lips and big eyes that dominated his face. His eyes were grey, like a thundercloud, not green like Dray's. Potter and his mother had the only other eyes that green. Unearthly shades of forest and emerald, that swirled and pulled at you. Drowning you if you let them. Smothered to death in a forest of silent leaves.

Our son was lightly built, but seemed stronger than he looked. According to what I knew about his... father? No, he had used the term nhara, which meant that if Draylaner had been a woman, Saramil would have called him mother. There really wasn't any translation to the word. It was quite rare even among elves of Tarikairis.

Saramil had long black hair, white skin and bare feet. Both nhara and son were very catlike in their movements. They didn't simply walk, they glided. It had taken me a decade to even begin to mimic that kind of movement.

Wait. Bare feet? My shock must have showed on my face.

"He does not like shoes at all", Draylaner said softly. He always did have a way of picking up on my little pre-occupations. "He usually takes them off and then I do not see them in a very long time. Little Crow uses shoes only in the winter or when the ground causes him more injury than shoes. I advice you, Severus, to just drop the thing and live with it. Though, if you want you can always try. Who knows? He might even listen to you." Dray's voice was attempting to be light, but I could tell something was wrong with him.

I nodded slowly, trying to place why Dray was leaving our son with me, letter or not. He had not told me in all these years, why spring this on me now? Why uproot the boy so completely?

"Saramil does not speak English very well yet, only a few words. Give him a few weeks, and he will speak your language as if it was his mother tongue. Just let him listen and he will learn." The older elf paused once again. "Before you ask, Severus, I never planed any of this to happen. And I would have let you know of him, if I had known a way." His voice dropped to barely a whisper, I doubt Albus could hear it. "Or if I had had the courage."

I gazed into his bright green eyes that had never let me really forget. Forget him. Forget what I had felt for him. I still haven't been able to, not completely. And he has been dead for two years. He died not long after leaving the boy with me. I should have known then that was what was wrong. I should have been able to see it. I've been blind to many things in my life, that being perhaps the most unforgivable.

"Has he your talent?" I asked, almost as quietly.

"Aye. Little Crow is very capable with his shape shifting." Dray sounded proud and I smiled. We shared a knowing look before the old man's voice cut into our private moment.

"He's a Multi-Animagus?" Albus asked, surprised if my observation was right. I could have cursed him for his stupidity. Elves do not become Animagi. They don't have to.

Draylaner lifted his eyebrow. "I do not know the term."

"No, Albus. They both can take any form they want. That is actually the main reason Saramil was ever born, I would wager", I explained with mock indulgence.

The meeting drug on that day. I never did have a private moment with my one time lover. It was quite some time till I found out the truth about why he hid our son from me. And now Dray is gone. I mourned for him, as did Sararmil, in those early days. And we grew much closer, which was a surprise to me. Don't get me wrong, I love my son very much, have ever since we met. But I've never been one to allow attachment. If Dray were alive, he'd say that was an understatement. Strange how someone's death can have that kind of an effect on a person.

But life moved on. For the both of us. Even if we sometimes miss Draylaner more than either tongue of wizard or of elf can express.

tbc...

Thanks for reviews. Really appreciated.

Of course without Saavik13, this chapter would not exist.

Tell me what you think. Any ideas are welcomed. Any shape and form...