Disclaimer: I own nothing.
In A Heartbeat
By LilyxJames4ever
Chapter 11 – Change
The next morning at breakfast before classes begin, Professor Dumbledore surprises everyone and stands up.
"Welcome back to all who left us to enjoy a well deserved holiday," he begins. "I have two announcements to make. The first pleasant and the second very much less so."
"Firstly, in consideration to the fact that our Halloween Ball got for lack of a better term, interrupted, we are hosting another ball. This time, it's not a Masquerade, however, and you may bring dates if you wish to."
Everyone laughs, clearly excited to ask the person they like or hopeful to be asked by the person they like.
"Now, it is my deepest sorrow to have to burden you with this unfortunate next piece of news," continues Professor Dumbledore. There is something different about him. The usual twinkle in his eye is gone. Lily knows no good can come from this because the only time it is not there is when he is angry or sad. The former is seldom, however, so she therefore knows it must be the latter. She hopes, however, he is not going to say what she thinks he is.
"I am sorry to announce that two of our students have lost a family member due to the work of Lord Voldemort," Professor Dumbledore goes on. Lily gasps. There is another student?
"These two students are sixth years and go by the names of Lily Evans and Dorcas Meadowes, both of them having suffered the loss of a much older person."
The whole hall gasps, excluding the Slytherin table, and Lily finds herself suddenly surrounded by a bunch of people, either whispering their condolences or asking if there is anything they can do. Lily knows they mean well, but it is difficult to keep her temper in check when people she barely knows are coming up to her. They did not – had not even known her father!
"You want to do something for me?" says Lily, standing up. "Do me a favor and LEAVE ME ALONE!" She runs out of the hall.
"Lily, wait!" calls James, running after her, the others on his heel. "Lily, wait up!" The hall breaks out in whispers, gossiping about what just happened. It is not every day that Lily Evans runs out of the room with James Potter calling and running after her.
"Prongs! Prongs, slow down!" cries Remus, running after him.
"Prongs and Moony! Wait up! Slow down, Lily!" shouts Sirius and Peter.
"Black, Peter, James, Lily! Slow down!" yells Marlene and Alice.
"G-guys! You're going too fast!" pants Margaret and Peter, coming up on the rear.
Lily ignores all the people telling her to slow down. How can Professor Dumbledore announce it for the whole hall to hear? The last thing she needs is for everyone to know of her father's death, especially the Slytherins! Now all they will do was taunt her about it and she cannot take that.
"Lily! For Merlin's sake, Lily, you sure can run fast!" cries James from behind her. Lily emits a hic/laugh/sob/cough but continues to run then turns a sharp left. She runs up several staircases until she finds a door and flings it open. She does not bother closing it in her haste to get in, only to realize her mistake later.
She has never seen this room before. It is cluttered with loads of stuff that she assumes has been abandoned there for centuries and centuries, piling up. There is an old cabinet that looks like it is broken and a cage that looks like it contains a skeleton of something that had five legs. There is also chipped bottles of congealed potions, what appears to be a heavy, bloodstained axe, and a funny-shaped crown. Lily shivers and sits down on the cold, hard floor. There is enough clutter here to make it difficult for anyone to find her. Too bad the person who will find her is, in fact, a Marauder.
-Meanwhile-
"Lily?" calls James, panting as he lands on the seventh floor. "Come on, Lily, hide-and-seek has never been my strong point!" He runs down the corridor and sees a door ajar. His curiosity peaking, he walks in silently and hears sniffing coming from somewhere behind a Vanishing Cabinet.
"Lily?" he whispers. She jumps and once she realizes who it is, looks away.
"Please go," she begs, and his heart aches. Those two words are enough to send him spiraling through pain and agony. "James, you've already seen me cry on several other occasions. What make you think I'd want you to see again?"
He gradually sits down next to her anyway and looks at his hands. She knows this is to make her feel less uncomfortable and she appreciates it but why can he not just leave her alone?
"I never really said it, I guess I figured it was implied, but I'm so sorry for your loss Lily," whispers James. "I know, you're probably sick of hearing it and I don't blame you. I felt the same way when people gave me their condolences. 'He was such a great man' or 'it is a shame he had to die so young'. Bullocks, more than half of them either didn't know or didn't give a damn."
Lily sniffs and nods in agreement. She has been feeling exactly the same way and it is nice for someone to understand. Even if that someone has been keeping her on edge lately. Without warning, she begins to cry again and James looks alarmed.
"Oh Lily," he sighs. "You know Dumbledore didn't intentionally tell everyone about the death in yours and Dorcas' families so you guys would get pity."
"I – I don't care about that," says Lily. "I mean I do, I loathe pity but I just don't need the Slytherins harassing and smirking at me."
James does not know what to say. He has never been good with weepy girls and tries to avoid being around them. This is different than when he broke up with someone though. He never really cared about them as much as he does Lily. Do not misunderstand, he is not that shallow but the reason he stopped dating was because no one could compare to Lily. No one is as smart or as witty and as fun to be around.
"Don't worry, I won't let them," promises James quietly.
Lily looks upwards in surprise and seems to think she had said too much. She smiles slightly and stands up.
"We have to go to class," she says, looking at a clock on the wall. "I doubt Professor McGonagall would be accepting if we're late for the first class of the new term."
"Is she ever?" says James, getting up too. Lily gives a weak laugh, but a laugh all the same, and they head down the winding staircases to Transfiguration in a comfortable silence.
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"That was the worst lesson ever!" moans Sirius as the eight make their way to lunch later that day.
Marlene rolls her eyes. "You're just sore because Slughorn said a first year could have performed your Potion better."
"It's not my fault that I was sitting next to Lily and she happens to be the teacher's-pet!" He winks at Marlene and she flushes and looks the other way. This goes unnoticed by the others.
"I am not the teacher's-pet!" cries Lily, turning red.
"Relax, I'm just joking," laughs Sirius. As an afterthought he adds, "Kind of."
They all laugh and Lily sticks her tongue out as they enter the Great Hall. Their laughter abruptly ends when they come face-to-face with five unfriendly Slytherins.
"What are you doing over by our table?" asks James coldly. He directs this to all of them: Severus Snape, Seth Mulciber, Erebus Avery, Amycus Carrow, and Alecto Carrow.
"I don't believe that concerns you, Potter," sneers Avery. He is most definitely the ringleader and has the others tied around his finger.
"Seeing as you're standing here obviously waiting for us, yeah, I'd say it concerns me."
"Oh, is that so? We were actually hoping to talk to the Mudblood Evans."
Lily glares at him and it takes the combined efforts of Margaret, Remus, Alice, Peter and Marlene to hold back James and Sirius.
"What's the matter Black, don't like our pet name for Evans? Man, talk about a bad egg!" sneers Amycus.
"At least Sirius doesn't stick his head up Voldemort's arse like the five of you," sneers Marlene. Everyone looks in surprise at her. She rarely ever speaks out and when she does, it certainly is not for Sirius or against any unfriendly Slytherin.
"Aw, is McKinnon in love with ickle Blood-Traitor Black?" coos Alecto. Her companions roar with laughter, except for Severus who looks oddly out of place and keeps trying to catch Lily's eye. She ignores him, however, determinedly.
Marlene flushes angrily and can feel the tears fill up in her eyes. Sirius stops struggling to fight the Slytherins and to everyone's surprise, including his and her own, comforts her.
"Marlene's worth twelve of you, Alecto," says Sirius harshly, as he pats her back. She blushes deeper at this.
"Yeah! At least she doesn't resemble someone who got run over by a Hippogriff!" squeaks Peter. Everyone looks at him in surprise and Alecto narrows her eyes at him. He squeaks again and hides behind James, returning to his normal state.
"What did you want with me anyway?" asks Lily coldly. "I have a feeling it's not to talk about the weather."
Mulciber smirks. "We just wanted to congratulate you in first getting your mother and then your father murdered. We heard you had salad for dinner the night your father died." All the Slytherins laugh again except for Severus. He still cannot see that the fact that he is not doing anything is killing her more than the fact that he chose them over her.
Lily makes sure that the tears trying to force themselves out of her eyelids stay in the back of her head. She will not give them the satisfaction of knowing that they have gotten to her in such a horrible way. She feels a sudden breeze-like moment and gasps as James tackles Mulciber to the ground.
"James, get off of him!" cries Lily. James ignores her though and is wrestling with Mulciber on the ground. The whole hall stands up to see what the commotion is and gathers around.
"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" they all cheer. It seems to have driven the morning news out of their heads.
The battle, Potter vs. Mulciber, seems to be coming out in James' favor. Quidditch training has made him strong because he barely had a scratch on his face, yet Mulciber has several scratches, a black eye, a broken nose, and a bloody lip. It takes several minutes before a teacher can break through the queue, unfortunately for Gryffindor; it is the last teacher that will be to their benefit.
"What's going on here?" asks Professor Clemons. Carlisle Clemons is the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and is known for favoring Slytherins above all, having been in Slytherin himself. It is not even like he is their Head of House or anything. Professor Dumbledore never ceases to amaze them in whom he hires to fill the post each year.
Everyone starts talking at once, trying anxiously to talk over one another. James and Mulciber lay forgotten on the floor.
" – Potter attacked him…"
" – Mulciber called Lily a…"
" – My mother says unicorns…"
"SILENCE!" roars Professor Clemons. He turns to Cassiopeia Malfoy, the younger sister of Lucius Malfoy, named after one of her relatives. "Explain," he says evenly.
She smirks and flips her platinum blonde hair over her shoulder. Lily can tell already that this is not going to turn out in Gryffindors favour.
"Well sir, Potter here went and attacked Mulciber unprovoked –"
She is interrupted by an angry outburst from the Gryffindors and the seven who had actually been there. Professor Clemons silences them and motions for Cassiopeia to continue.
"Anyway, he attacked Mulciber but I think there was something with Evans in the story somewhere," she finishes lamely. Professor Clemons turns away from her and faces Lily, Mulciber, who is now being supported by Severus and Avery, and James.
"Mr. Snape, take Mulciber up to the Hospital Wing," instructs Professor Clemons. "And you two," he says, smiling nastily at Lily and James. "Fifty points from Gryffindor each and you shall join me tonight in detention."
Ignoring the angry Gryffindors, the Professor walks back up to the staff table as everyone begins sitting down again.
James looks down at the table where they had been going to sit and punches it.
Lily and her friends gasp as James' hand begins to swell up before their eyes.
"I'm sorry for getting you in detention," says James sullenly.
Lily shakes her head and walks up to him. She takes his hand in her own and points her wand at it and mutters an incantation. Before their eyes, the swelling and discolourment begins to disappear.
"Thank you."
"No, thank you," she says quietly so the others cannot hear.
He looks at her strangely. "For what?"
She smiles slightly. "For keeping your promise."
James smiles in return and the eight begin eating lunch.
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Several minutes before eight o'clock that night, Lily and James practically run to Professor Clemons office. They know without a doubt that he will not hesitate in taking more points off of Gryffindor if they are late and do not want to give him the satisfaction. They arrive at his office and James checks his watch. The moment it strikes eight they walk in.
"Good evening," says Professor Clemons carelessly.
"Good evening Professor," reply Lily and James curtly.
"What will we be doing tonight?" asks James, praying that they will not be in separate detentions.
"You two will be in separate detentions –"
Then again, praying only gets you so far in when in detention. Also, this is a fanfic so life is not always fair…
James inwardly groans and prepares himself for the worst. How bad can it be? Him and Sirius get themselves in detention all the time!
"Evans, you will be going to Mr. Filch to clean the trophy room. No magic of course, but I daresay it'll be like it used to be at home?"
Lily gasps, her eyes filling with tears, and spins on her heel to head the trophy room, not saying another word.
"How dare you?" snarls James. "You knew the entire time what those Slytherins said, didn't you?"
"Whether I did or didn't, Mr. Potter, does not concern you," sneers Professor Clemons. "Plus, it's your word against mine. Who do you think the Headmaster will believe?"
Me thinks James but he does not say anything.
"That's what I thought," says Professor Clemons, obviously under the impression he has won. "You, Mr. Potter, will stay with me."
"What will I be doing?" asks James, trying to keep his voice even. Professor Clemons' lip curls.
"Tonight you will be doing lines."
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Lily runs out of the room, not willing to allow James or the evil Professor see her cry. James has already seen her vulnerable too many times, a majority of them because of him, and she hates it. She makes her way through the winding corridors to the trophy room where Filch and another familiar face are waiting.
"Severus?"
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James is having trouble hiding his surprise. He has perhaps written lines one other time in his life and that was in detention in his first year. The teachers have given it up, however, since it did not seem to leave any impression in him.
"Lines, sir?"
Professor Clemons nods and motions to the desk with a quill and parchment ready to go.
"I would like you to write, I must not pick fights."
James nods stiffly and walks over to the desk and sits down. It is not until he is about to start that he realizes something is missing. He looks up at Professor Clemons and notices the Professor staring at him.
"Sir, I don't have any ink."
Professor Clemons shakes his head, a smile on his face.
"You are not in need of ink, Mr. Potter."
James is deeply unsettled now. "Sir, this quill isn't a –"
"Isn't a what exactly, Mr. Potter?" James just shakes his head.
Only one way to find out he thinks. He sighs and writes the first line of, I must not pick fights.
He feels a slight irritation in the back of his hand and winces.
"Something the matter, Mr. Potter?" asks Professor Clemons. James is disgusted by the innocence behind the evil man's voice but just shakes his head.
He writes the line again, and again, and again, hoping that Professor Clemons will realize the message sank in before midnight. He does not allow himself to complain though. Hours of torture will be less painful than admitting that he is weak and giving Clemons the satisfaction of knowing he has won.
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Lily polishes, and polishes, and polishes until she cannot feel her arm anymore. True, she has always helped out around the house back when her parents had been alive. False, she has never polished so many trophies over and over again! She can practically remember every trophy there is here. Worst of all, she is not alone in doing it.
"Severus?" she had said, earlier in the evening. "What are you doing here?"
Severus winces. "I've failed to give McGonagall three homework assignments. It was this or detentions with Clemons."
Lily arches an eyebrow as she begins polishing.
"You don't like him?"
Severus shakes his head. "I don't approve of his…methods."
"What do you mean?"
Severus lowers his voice so Filch cannot hear. Lily has to pretend to polish a trophy closer just so she can hear him.
"For every detention he uses Blood Quills," he whispers. Lily gasps but thankfully, a poof of dust comes off one of the trophies Severus is shining and he sneezes.
"But Sev – Severus, that's illegal!" hisses Lily.
"I know," he replies, feeling pleased that she has almost used her old nickname for him. "Try telling that to him."
Lily gasps again, this time more audible.
"Keep it down over there!" snarls Filch as he caresses his cat.
"Sorry," apologizes Lily. "Wait, so you said he uses that for all of his detentions?" Severus nods. "Yeah, why?"
"Because James has detention with him tonight!"
Severus' eyes narrow dangerously.
"He's James now, is he?" sneers Severus. Lily's eyes flash.
"So what?"
"Oh nothing," says Severus, but before he can stop himself he adds, "I just didn't realize you were becoming interested in Quidditch players."
Lily glares at him. "You know damn well that I hate Quidditch and my relationship with James is none of your business! For your information, however, it is completely platonic!"
Severus looks livid but snorts. "If you say so."
"What's that supposed to mean?" snaps Lily.
Severus wonders how much he dares to continue. His curiosity gets the better of him, however, so he proceeds.
"It's just that I heard you paid a visit to the Potter Manor this past Christmas and I use the term "visit" loosely."
Lily smacks her rag against her hand and a cloud of smoke fills the air. They cough and can hear Filch wheeze from across the room. Once they recover she retorted:
"I was only there because they happened to bring me to my house and heard me when I screamed upon seeing my father's heads – but you know all about that."
"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"You know damn well what it means. You may not have known Bellatrix would arrange my father's head so crudely but you knew Voldemort was going to kill him. Dorea and Charlus Potter out of the goodness of their hearts took me in when I had no where else to go!"
"Whatever floats your boat –"
"What the hell is wrong with you?" cries Lily in a hushed whisper. "I finally talk to you, the very thing you've been begging me to do, and you act like an utter imbecile! Well that's it, this discussion is over!" She walks over to the other side of the room to continue polishing the trophies, leaving her former best friend coughing and upset.
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Four hours and several gashes later, James has finally been released from Professor Clemons office and is making his way back to the Gryffindor common room, trying to mask his pain. It is upon entering the common room that he runs headfirst into someone.
"OW!" cries Lily, falling backwards.
"Sorry!" says James, helping her up. As he helps her up she can feel Goosebumps on the arm on which he grasps her. She dismisses it as the lack of fire that is in the grate now. It cannot be anything else. It cannot be…
"Where have you been?" asks Lily suddenly. "I was let out half an hour ago. I was about to go file a missing persons fee!"
"Worried about me, eh Evans?" smirks James.
Lily feels a blush rise to her face and scolds herself. What is the matter with her? James Potter's smirk always made her want to upchuck a woodchuck for Merlin's sake! Her thoughts of what Severus had told her about Professor Clemons' detentions are momentarily driven out of her head until she sees a drop of red hit the carpet.
"He was right," gasps Lily.
"Who was right?" asks James curiously.
"Severus!" cries Lily. "He said that Clemons uses Blood Quills in his detentions and he was right! He sliced your hand open!"
"Technically I sliced my own hand open," says James irritably. "Secondly, it's not a big deal. It's not like I did it enough times to make any lasting inscription in my hand."
"It doesn't matter, you have to tell someone!" hisses Lily. "Professor McGonagall, Professor Dumbledore, your parents!"
James shakes his head violently.
"I'm not going to give Clemons the satisfaction of knowing he's gotten to me," argues James. "Plus, don't you know where he's from?"
Confused, Lily shakes her head.
"He's from the Ministry. Dumbledore is having more and more trouble finding people for D.A.D.A since everyone thinks the job is cursed. The Ministry provided him with someone and it's obvious it's someone who agrees with Voldemort."
The wheels are twisting and turning in Lily's head as she tries to process all this new information. Clemons? Right up with what Voldemort is doing even if he is not blatantly showing it? She knows he has a twisted mind and he is "evil" in terms of how far teachers go but in comparison to a Death Eater? It just does not make sense! And then James' refusal to go to anyone…
"So, you're not going to tell anyone about the pain he clearly put you in because he's part of the Ministry?" Lily asks, making sure she understands. Then she mutters under her breath, "And because your too damn proud."
James nods, not hearing the last part. "He can make everyone's life miserable here and the last thing I want to do right now is bother Dumbledore. He's got enough on his plate with the Order to have to worry about something as minor as this."
Lily does not agree but decides not to argue. Instead she decides to ask him a more pressing question on her mind.
"You know the day when they infiltrated Benjy Fenwick's shop?" Lily asks, sitting down in her favorite alcove. She briefly remembers the time earlier in the year when she was reading her book and James came down and began harassing her. Perhaps he had not intended to harass her at all…
She is shaken out of her thoughts by James' nod.
"What about it?" he asks.
Lily pauses, thinking on how she wants to word it.
"The Death Eaters asked me if I knew where a list was. Do you know what they were talking about?" she asks. "Somehow I doubt it has anything to do with Quidditch supplies."
James smiles weakly. "Well you're right, it has absolutely no regard to Quidditch whatsoever." He looks around before lowering his voice. "The list is about the people in the Order and…what their Patronus' are."
"Times like these you don't know who to trust anymore," James continues. "Ever notice how no one's stopping to chat with others in Diagon Alley anymore? That's because you don't know who's on what side and whom someone's working for. Well, Dumbledore came up with a more effective way to communicate –"
"Sending Patronus' to each other?" whispers Lily. James nods.
"The list in Benjy Fenwick's store is there because if a Death Eater uses a Polyjuice Potion to take the form of someone in the Order, they won't have the same Patronus. For instance, if I wanted to try and impersonate Dumbledore, they'd know I wasn't him because my Patronus is a Stag and his is a Phoenix."
"Your Patronus is a S-Stag? Like your – she lowers her voice – animagus?"
James nods. "Yeah, why?"
"I don't know if you remember me telling you when you were in your form but my Patronus is a Doe!"
James' eyes widen. To be honest, he has completely forgotten about that. So many other things have been occupying his mind that he forgot something so…significant. If his Patronus is a Stag and hers is a Doe it means they are destined for each other! He does not say this though out of fear that she will get angry at him. Instead, he just stares in shock at her.
Lily is surprised when he does not smirk and make a witty comment on how they are destined for each other. That is what he would have done last year!
"Oh," is all he says finally. "I must have forgotten. Well, I think I'm going to go to bed. 'Night." He stands up briskly.
Surprised, Lily just nods and watches him retreat up the stairs. Normally he would have had some wise crack about how he always knew they are "perfect" for each other.
What has changed?
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A/N: I know it's short but I didn't want to piggyback another chapter onto it. Please review!