Losing The Game
Jade's p o v
What are you talking about?
I froze swallowing how did she figure it out so quickly? Cat was an expert at hiding it.
Don't play dumb Jade
Sam I am not playing dumb
I know your smarter than this Jade you can see it you know what's going on
Your sleep deprived Sam Cat is fine there's no proof anything is wrong and you can't go around throwing words like eating disorders in the air without proof.
Proof Jade proof was standing right there in front of you all 86 pounds of it
If she even weighs that!
My temper was flaring now who the hell was this chick to be saying anything about Cat? She barely knew her.
Cat's fine she doesn't have an eating disorder
Bull and you know it Jade
All I know is your stepping on things that ain't none of your concern
She's my girlfriend and I will take care of her
Than you better step up your game cuz you losing this one son
That was all I needed I snapped punching Sam but Sam wasn't like the girls I hit in the past she didn't fall or cry or even flinch. Instead she swung back at me.
Grabbing me knocking me off my balance her hands on my chest we fell to the floor.
Cat is my business she's my roommate my business partner and my friend
Kicking Sam didn't work she only dodged the kick punching me in my stomach hard, grunting I felt the wind knocked out of me.
I'm only talking to you cause I know how much she loves and respects you
Your stronger than her Jade you can help her
Stop living in denial
Cat's innocent she's sweet people will take advantage of people like Cat
I know because my best friend Carly is just like her and I would do anything to protect her
The same goes for Cat
Cat isn't your worry
I landed a kick in her sheen she was holding me down jumping off me I used that opportunity to swing as I grabbed her shirt but she was fast and in an instant everything became blurry pain shot through my nose and left eye.
I'm a street fighter Jade you corner me I attack
Blood was pouring to my hand I felt dizzy from the blinding pain.
Your not helping Cat by covering for her
I glared at Sam but everything was blurry.
The blood tasted sweet like metal.
I know what I'm talking about Jade I spent years in the beauty pageant circuit
I saw girls who were already stick thin starving themselves
Just to get ' the perfect body"
Sam did air quotes with her fingers rolling her eyes her words sharp and angry.
I saw their sick routines
Carrot sticks for breakfast water for lunch salad which is only lettuce for dinner
Excessive exercises always counting calories and every carb that goes into their mouths
Laxatives it made me sick ..it made me sick Jade because I was one of them
I heard the voices I felt the shame of being two sizes too big but you know what my best friend
Saw what I was doing to myself she pulled me out of it
She reminded me how amazing I was inside she was my mother because my mother was too busy getting high to care that I was starving myself to death.
Just because you have issues with your body Sam doesn't mean Cat does she's a dancer she's an actress
She's training to be the best and when your aiming for the best no price is too high
Get a clue Jade there is a price too damn high
She's called Death
Your helping Cat to meet her
I jumped up swinging at her hard and fast she ducked grabbing me slamming me against the wall her arms pinned my arms above my head we struggled.
Knock it off NOW!
Cat screamed her tiny body clad only in a towel I could see every bone in her body. I could count every rib of her precious sweet body. My throat clogged up as I saw her legs trembling her skin just barely on her legs.
Cat
Sam tried to talk to her but she shoved her wide eyed locking with mine.
Why won't you two leave it alone!
I'm fine please just stop don't fight with me
Don't fight with each other
I can't Cat I love you
I love you too Jade but if you say you love me than have enough respect of me
To trust me enough to know what I am doing
I love you both so please stop fighting stop worrying
Cat we can't stop worrying your our best friend your hurting yourself
No I'm helping myself
I was out of shape I let myself go I was over weight I was struggling to keep up in dance
Mrs. Z is so proud of me she tells me every day how amazing I am how strong
Mrs. Z is a bitch who has no right teaching kids
I'm not a kid I'm 16 and I am old enough to drive hold down a job an apartment
Attend a prestigious high school and juggle a girlfriend
Juggle Cat?
That's what our relationship is to you? A juggling act?
Something to boast about to your friends how you handled me?
Cat sighed I could see the exhaustion in her eyes as she shock her head if I kept her fighting she would crack I knew it.
It worked before this little game we played. I would be the winner.
Look how proud you are you got that Satan bitch under control
So what a good day for you is how many of my out bursts you controlled
If you can keep me from killing someone do you reward yourself?
So how many points do you score with the class?
I'm a joke to you
Her voice was weak it was working my temper was rising hot tears stung my throat and eyes burning my head pounded. I sniffled feeling my face heat up my nails digging into my palms of my closed fist.
Save it Cat you've said enough for me to hear today
Poor Jade she's so screwed up she's too mental to function on her own
She can't deal with life so she cuts..she's everyone's joke
Screw this Cat I tried to help you
Her lips trembled that's it Cat break down your this close just give it up collapse in my arms I will save you. Keep it up Jade threaten to leave that's what always gets her.
I started towards the door.
Suddenly her voice called to me.
So leave Jade that's what your family does best
My body tensed what was she saying? Why was her voice now angry and spiting venom.
I am nothing like my family Cat!
Yea right Jade your just like them
Why was she saying these things? My whole body was shaking I was feeling so betrayed and so confused how did she turn the tables on me?
How could she think I was anything like my family?
They were all screwed up in one way or another and I have done everything to distance myself from ever being anything like them.
Cat's eyes were on fire looking through mine.
Sam stood by watching her eyes sad as she stood far away she seemed to know what was happening her eyes looking at me with pity.
Your just as controlling and suffocatingly judgmental as your father
I am not Cat I will never be like that bastard
Yes you are Jade
Your always judging me how much did I eat? How many miles did I run?
What I wear what I watch on TV how I am in bed
My face flushed deeper Sam arched an eyebrow eying us.
I'm sick of it all I don't need you judging me
Your just like your mother refusing to see anyone else point except your own
How do you deal with a problem Jade?
You run
Runaway just like your parents always did to you
I do not Cat!
Bull it's all you know how to do
People think Jacob has mental issues but no one knows just how screwed up you are
Your a freak Jade you cut your own skin
Just like our classmates say
I was beyond angry but anger wasn't my main feeling I was confused and hurt so hurt. Tears built up my head was pounding from the confusion.
The one person who I trusted with my life I never in a million years would think would do this to me just did.
Pain flowed through my veins like water flows in a bay wild and trapped. I didn't feel my own hand rise but it did grabbing the glass globe that laid on her desk throwing it screaming. Sam gasped Cat remained motionless and in control.
Her eyes were cold and dead now as they gazed over me.
Why Cat why would you?
How could..
I couldn't swallow I couldn't breathe she smiled at me which just made me sicker. Who was she? Why was she saying these things? What did I do to deserve this? Cat was the one person who I trusted and loved the one person I truly considered a friend.
Shock, confusion, repulsion I was shaking so hard Sam reached out to me but I couldn't feel her Cat's voice was cool like a river. She had turned the tables on me and she was in total control.
She knew it and she loved it.
How?
How did I go from being the leader of the pack running home runs to the end runner losing the game?