So much has happened since I last updated, and I'm so sorry for the long wait. You guys probably don't care why, but anyways, you're probably going to hate me more than you ever have after reading this chapter. Love ya.

Brian walked in the house from his therapy appointment. They both agreed they would go to separate doctors so it would be easier to get their feelings out. The question that Dr. Robinson asked still lingered in his head. He didn't know what his honest answer was, though. Maybe he would have tried to continue things with Carissa if he didn't get caught. He had to admit, her death made it a lot easier on him to be faithful. Then he had to think about what he was saying. He was willing to cheat on his wife, the mother of his son, if he wasn't going to get caught. He knew he had a long way to go before Olivia could trust him again, because at this moment, he didn't even trust himself.

He walked upstairs and almost ran into a naked, wet Jason running around the house. He chuckled knowing that his son had always hated bathtime for some reason. "Jas, put some clothes on." He smiled when he seen Olivia walked out the bathroom with soaked clothes and looking frustrated.

"It's not funny. Where did I go wrong where my child doesn't like to be clean?"

"It's a boy thing. Wait until he starts liking girls." He kissed her forehead. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." She softly smiled. "How was your session?" They never went in depth about what they talked about, but that did give each other the basics.

"Good. We talked about me being back home and what I'm doing to make sure we never go back to where we was. What about you?"

She sighed. Lindstorm asking her about Elliot and her meeting up with the other day made her realize some things. Most of her feelings for him may be gone, but there was still that small spark there.

"That bad?" Brian assumed when she didn't reply.

"Let's just say he helped me realize some things that were preventing from being a better wife to you."

He softly smiled and kissed her cheek. "I know progress is slow, but I'm glad we're doing this. I don't want to be with anyone else." He meant it. He was in lust with Carissa, but he's in love with Olivia. He cupped her face gently. "I love you, all of you."

She turned her head slightly to kiss the palm of his hand. "And all of me, loves all of you."

Brian walked into the bathroom to see Olivia putting on her makeup and she was dressed in one of his favorite dresses of hers. "Where are you going?"

"Case, Melinda, and I are going out for drinks to catch up." She said not even looking his direction as she continued to apply her lipgloss.

"Dressed like that?" He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms.

Olivia had on a blue, deep plunge, mesh covered dress that stopped right above the knees. "What's wrong with it?"

"You look great, but.."

"You don't trust me." She turned around to face him.

He sighed. "I didn't say all of that. I just thought maybe we could spend some time with each other."

"We've spent the last three days with each other. I'm not going to drink, well maybe a beer at the most. I'm wearing my wedding ring." She held up her left hand. "I'm a big girl, Brian."

"Liv, we both know a ring doesn't mean a thing or we wouldn't be in the situation that we're in right now."

Olivia opened her mouth to say something, but she decided against it. She grabbed her purse. "I'm going to ignore that. I'll be home no later than 1. Love you, bye." She walked out the room cursing him under her breath.

"I swear to God if I didn't love him so much I would have been shot him. It's almost like he wants me to be pissed off at him." Olivia ranted. Brian was the only person that could truly get under her skin.

"As your best friend who truly cares about you, I have to agree with him."

"And I'll have to agree with Casey." Melinda said. "Both of you guys broke your vows with your wedding rings on. It's kinda like you guys are trying to love and trust each other all over again. Don't look at this as a setback, use it to remember why you fell in love with him. Just pretend it's 1999, and you guys just started dating."

Olivia took a sip of her beer and sighed. "I feel like I'm overreacting sometimes. Like I'm multiplying the pain that I'm actually feeling. So much has happened in the last few years, and it's like I'm taking all the pain and frustration out on Brian."

"Now that wasn't so hard. You need to go home and screw his brains out."

Olivia laughed. "We're not there yet. We haven't even really made-out. I'm still attracted to him, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I don't even want to be around him, so having him in me is far from happening."

"Brian and Olivia Cassidy are not having sex? You guys are so sexual, and I'm having a hard time believing this." Casey did a fake, over dramatic gasp. "Maybe the world is ending."

"I think it's time we go shopping to help spice up that sex life. Jason did say he wanted a little sibling, and you have to have sex to make that happen." Melinda smirked and took a sip of her drink.

Olivia cleared her throat. "Anyways, enough about my nonexist sex life, I've been thinking about going back to work."

"You honestly think you're ready for that? Honestly, Liv, I think you should work on your home life before you decide to throw your emotional job in the mix. Besides, it's the job that got you into all this mess."

"Cas, do you realize it's been almost eight months since the accident? That was the last time I worked. NYPD can only pay you for so long without working. I think I need to do this so I won't sit at home and think about how crazy things are. Granted, I would wait until Jason went back to school which is in a few weeks before I started working again."

"Well, have you talked to Brian about this? As much as I love him, if he spends another night on my couch, I'm going to lose my mind." Melinda joked.

Both Casey and Olivia laughed.

"No, I haven't, but I don't plan on talking to Cragen about it until I speak to Brian."

Casey and Melinda gave Olivia a "yeah right look."

She quickly noticed. "What? Guys, I'm really trying to correct my mistakes. This will affect him too, so I know I have to talk to him."

"Just know your happiness is in our best interest, and this is the happiest we've seen you since the accident."

Olivia walked into the house around 1:30. Casey and Melinda got drunker than she anticipated and she had to made sure they both got home safely. She wouldn't be surprised if Brian was still up waiting for her, even though she called him telling him that she was going to be late. She silently placed her keys and purse on the kitchen counter and made her way upstairs.

Before she went to her bedroom, she poked her head in Jason's room and couldn't help but smile when she saw both Brian and Jason sleeping in the small twin size bed. She quietly walked in and kissed Jason's forehead that was almost cuddled and in Brian's chest.

Brian quickly woke up due to his light sleeping habits. He looked up and saw Olivia smiling. "Hey, you're home." He whispered as he slowly got up trying not wake Jason.

She simply nodded and moved out the way so he could get out of the bed.

They silently made their ways out the room.

"How was it?" Brian asked as they walked to their room.

"It was nice, besides the fact I had to be a mother to two grown women." She sighed and plopped on the bed. "Surprisingly, I missed my boys." She looked up at him through her bangs as she took off her heels.

He sat next to her and smiled. "So, you're not upset about earlier?"

"Well, after Casey and Melinda took your side for the millionth time during our relationship, I realized why you said it. You didn't say it the right way, but I get it."

Brian laid his hand on Olivia's thigh. "You know I love you, right?"

"Yes, and I love you too, even though I want to shoot you sometimes."

He chuckled. "I'm going to take that as a compliment. How about we get to bed?"

"Only if we can talk in the morning. I would do it now, but I'm too old to be staying out this late, and I'm honestly exhausted."

"Whatever you want, as long as I'm not signing any divorce papers." He joked. "Or you don't want any expensive gifts soon."

Olivia smirked, slipped out her dress, and laid down. "Don't be an ass."

Brian chuckled, laid down next to her and slipped his arm around her waist. "Hey, I'm just saying."

She turned over so she could face him. "Shut up and go to bed." She smiled and kissed him softly on the lips.

He pulled her closer and smiled also. "Only because you said so."

"Are you sure?" Brian asked nervously as he looked through the one-way glass. "W...we used protection, I pulled out, and I know I'm good at that."

"She's yours. Her grandma died, and we ran her DNA through the system to find other family members, and you're a 99.9% match to her. Look at her, you can't even deny that she's not yours."

"Olivia is just starting to get over the fact that I had an affair in the first place, not you want me to go home and tell her I have a love child? She's going to kill me, and I'm not exaggerating." Brian took a deep breath and starting pacing the hallway. "I can't help you."

"Brian, you're all she has."

"And Olivia and Jason are all I have, and if they find out about this, I'm going to lose them."

"You're a cop. You know how most kids in the system turn out. Do you want your daughter to be like that? You had an affair, and now you have to live with the consequences of that."

Brian finally stop pacing and looked the lawyer in her eyes. "Alex, you know this will kill Olivia. I know you can find a family for her, a good family at that. This just happened at the worst possible time." He turned around and looked back at his daughter. "As a man, I need to handle my responsibilities, but I need time."

Brian walked back into the house with a defeated look on his face. On the drive home, he debated telling Olivia. They had worked so hard to get to where they are now, and this would only push them 10 steps back.

When he walked into the living room, Jason and Olivia were on the couch reading. They were both so into the book, that neither one of them noticed him walk into the room. He quickly put a fake smile on his face, hoping that it would cover up the war he was currently having in his mind. "Hey, guys. Miss me?"

"Daddy!" Jason jumped off of the couch and ran into Brian's arms.

"Hey, buddy. I heard you reading. You're getting better."

"Yeah, mommy's been helping me. Can I read to you, too?"

"In a little, first I need to talk to mommy." Brian looked over at Olivia, who he felt like was reading his mind."

"Okay. I guess I'll go practice more." He grabbed the book off of the couch and starting walking upstairs.

Olivia cleared her throat and motioned for Brian to come sit down next to her. "Everything okay?"

"Uh, yeah." He lied. "You're the one that said you wanted to talk last night, remember?"

She smiled. "Oh, yeah. Well, it's two things actually. I was thinking about going back to work."

"Okay." Brian said nonchalantly.

Olivia was confused. She figured he would have much more to say. "Okay? That's all you have to say?"

"Oh, you want me to say 'Oh, no. It's too soon. You're not ready. What about Jason?' Am I right?" He smirked and said in a mocking voice.

She bunched her eyebrows together and paused. "Well, yeah, kinda. That's what I expected."

He laughed and grabbed her hands. "Liv, you haven't been to work in over eight months, you were born ready for this job, and Jason will probably be back in school before you're cleared, and Cragen lets you back. I think you can do it, and I support you." Brian half-supported the decision, but with the current situation he was in, he was willing to do anything to stay in Olivia's good graces.

"Thank you for that." She kissed his knuckles.

"No problem. No need to fight you on this. You were going to go back no matter what I said. So what's the second thing you need to talk about?"

She blushed and lowered her head in embarrassment. "I don't really know how to put this."

"Just say it, babe." Brian whispered in a comforting tone.

"Our sex life." She blurted out and still avoided eye contact.

He chuckled. "We don't have one."

Olivia finally looked up at him. "That's the problem. When have we ever been the type to stray away from sex?"

"Never actually. I just haven't made any moves because you don't seem interested. Trust me, I still want it and you as much as I did when we first met. If you want it right now, I have no problem giving it to you."

"Bri, really?"

"Listen, I'm married to a very, very, very attractive woman. You should be worried if I wasn't saying this."

Olivia couldn't help but to smile and even laugh a little. "You're right. Tonight, we have a meeting in the bedroom," She leaned forward and whispered in his ear. "and I don't want you to hold back."