Warning: some words and descriptions have been censored to preserve the readers' sanities.

-Akihabara train station-

Yugi and Joey arrived at the station early, along with a couple of other duelists that had no bearing to the story. A big TV was set up, most likely placed there by Kaiba to broadcast the announcement, but it was currently showing static. To pass the time, they sat on a bench and snacked on some chocolate.

"Joey," Yugi suddenly said, "there's something wrong with Johann."

"Nyeh?" Joey said.

"The Pharaoh talked to him yesterday, and that kid actually thinks everything in this setting is real. Not only that, but he's the Beginner Cup champion and he managed to beat Pegasus in a duel."

"What are you getting at, Yug?"

"I'm saying that he's not just some character. I suspect that he's turning into a Gary Stu."

Joey stopped eating his chocolate. "A Gary Stu? You mean everyone's going to like him and he's going to win duels all the time?"

"Possibly, but it's only a suspicion. I heard from Bakura that they had dueled before, with Johann losing, so he hasn't won every duel. Also, there's the fact that none of us like him. However, he seems to have gained the favor of Grandpa, Bakura, and even you."

"Me?"

"Well, why did you apologize to him yesterday?"

"Well, because I felt bad about wanting to take his cards."

"Joey, you've fallen under the Stu's spell."

"I—Nyeh?!" Joey dropped his chocolate in surprise. "How do we stop this?!"

"I would suggest killing him, but unfortunately, we're the good guys, not to mention that killing has been replaced with 'banished to the Shadow Realm' in this fanfiction, just like our show. I can only hope that someone sends him to the Shadow Realm. Given that every villain has that power, though, it's going to happen sooner or later."

A train pulled in and many people clambered out. Most were people who had actual jobs, but there were a bunch of duelists, too, one of them being Johann. He had a big grin on his face, as did a couple of other duelists. He briefly made eye contact with Yugi, but quickly turned his head away.

The station clock chimed 8:00 and the TV came on. Every duelist watched as Kaiba's face appeared on it.

"Alright, losers," Kaiba said, "you're here because you want to win the Expert Cup. The rules of the Beginner Cup apply here too: beat each other in duels until the plot decides to move along. There are only two differences. One, there will be eight finalists instead of four. Two, nobody is going to be messing around. For anyone who can't handle the competition, this is your last chance to get the hell out of here and back to your knitting."

He paused for a couple of seconds before continuing, "You're all still here? Good. Battle, win, and survive! Let the games begin."

The TV shut itself off. Right off the bat, duelists were challenging each other and moving to more open spaces to have their duels. Johann looked around for someone new to duel.

"Hi there!" A small voice spoke.

He looked and saw a little girl with blond hair and a pink sweater. In addition to a Duel Disk, she was also carrying a small brown teddy bear wearing green overalls. This was the youngest looking duelist he had seen so far.

"You're the Beginner Cup champion, right?" The girl asked. "I'm Rebecca, and this is Teddy."

She held up her bear, which said in an evil voice, "Your mother plays card games in hell!"

Johann blinked and said, "That's not funny."

"Oh, don't mind Teddy; he's always like that."

"Hail Satan!"

Great, another weird one.

"So," Johann changed the subject, "you're here for the Expert Cup?"

"Yup! I'm the American champion you know, hence why I got invited here by Seto Kaiba. You want to duel?"

"Sure, but don't expect me to go easy on you just cause I'm older than you."

"By the time this duel is over, you won't dare treat me like a kid."

"Duel!"

Absolute Pwnage vs Satanic Powers

"Uh…about your deck name…"

"You like it?" Rebecca asked. "Teddy picked it out."

"Tremble before my Satanic powers!"

"Yeah, I get that."

"I'll place a card facedown and end my turn."

"Got a bad hand? Oh well, free hit for me. I summon 'Battle Ox' and attack you directly."

[Battle Ox (1700/1000) is summoned and moves to attack.]

"Activate Trap Card: 'Gravity Bind'! With this effect, no monsters with a level of four stars or higher can attack."

Crap, most of my monsters are four stars and higher.

"My turn, and I summon 'Servant of Catabolism'. Because of its special ability, I can attack you directly."

[Servant of Catabolism (700/500) appears, walks around Battle Ox, and attacks Johann. Johann loses 700 LP.]

This is gonna suuuuuuuck.

-Several turns later-

"Yay!" Rebecca cheered as she jumped up and down. "We won, We won! We're the best team ever, Teddy!"

"You had a great strategy, Rebecca," Johann admitted, "I just wish I had drawn 'Trap Master' sooner."

"You have lost! Now you will forfeit your soul!"

"Nuh-uh."

At least this wasn't a Shadow Game, or I would have lost my soul.

"Better luck next time!" Rebecca said as she happily skipped off.

That duel was brutal. Think I'll take a break and look around Akihabara.

To Johann, who was a geek when it came to video games and manga, loved everything he saw in the city. There were arcades, manga and electronic stores, and lots of cosplayers. He spent this time looking around and buying manga.

At one store, he saw Tea trying to get the attention of some customers. Wondering what she was up to, Johann walked up to her and asked, "Are you trying to find someone to duel again?"

"No," she said, "I'm trying to find someone willing to turn my fanfiction into a doujinshi."

"Your…fanfiction?"

"Yeah. Remember Losershipping? I think it would be so hot—I mean so cool if someone turned it into a doujinshi."

"Wait wait wait…you mean that crazy idea of me and Bakura getting together? Dude! I don't want you writing stuff about us that isn't true, let alone turn it into a doujinshi!"

"Oh come on, it's obvious you two were meant for each other. Besides, it's not just about you two getting together: it's about how you confess each other's undying love and how you—hominahominahominahomina—!"

Tea's eyes rolled back into her head and blood dripped out of her nostrils. She took out two tissues, twisted them, and shoved them up her nose. She shook her head and her eyes were normal again.

"Tea," Johann cautiously said, "you're not possessed, are you?"

"No." She said quickly. "It always happens when I think about twoguyskissingeachotherandhavingsuperhotmansexand[this part has been censored to preserve the readers' sanities]hominahominahominahomina—!"

Johann slowly backed away, then made a run for it. He did not stop running until Tea was long gone from his view. He had heard of girls being crazy over yaoi pairings, but this was beyond ridiculous.

Once he stopped running, he considered having lunch when he heard someone groan, "Gah, I hate this city!"

He saw that the complainer was the woman from the other day, Mai. He asked, "What's bad about Akihabara?"

Mai looked at him and said, "Hey, you're that kid."

"Yeah, I'm Johann Bocks."

"Mai Valentine, and I know, my name is not subtle. Listen, do you know how many nerds have told me that I should work at one of those maid cafes? Twenty. At least twenty nerds, including Joey, wanted to see me in one of those ridiculous maid outfits."

"Well, those cafes are popular…"

"I like attention, but not the attention of nerds who have nothing better to do. I'm just here to duel, and nothing more."

"Wanna duel me?"

"You took the words right out of my mouth." Mai activated her Duel Disk. "You may be the Beginner Cup champion, but you're still an amateur compared to most of the people in the Expert Cup. I'll show you that you're not cut out for this tournament!"

"Bring it." Johann said as he also activated his Duel Disk.

"Duel!"

Absolute Pwnage vs. Booby Kingdom

A crowd began to gather around the two duelists. Most of the male audience members hooted and wolf whistled when they saw Mai's deck name. Some of the girls, who were glaring at their supposed boyfriends, started cheering for Johann to "kick that skank's ass".

Johann, unlike the male crowd, facepalmed and said, "Really? Really?"

"Not distracted by the fanservice, I see." Mai said. "I didn't know you swung that way. I'll start by introducing you to one of my Harpie Ladies: 'Harpie Lady 3'!"

[Harpie Lady 3 (1300/1400) is summoned.]

"I then place two cards facedown and end my turn."

"Alright," Johann said, "I'll place a card and a monster facedown. I end my—."

"Before you end your turn, I activate my Trap Card: 'Shadow of Eyes'. This forces your facedown monster into face up attack position."

[Monster is revealed to be Big Eye (1200/100). It's Flip Effect is not triggered.]

"Well…crap."

"I guess it's my turn now. I play 'Harpie's Hunting Ground'. This gives 200 ATK and DEF to all Winged-Beasts, and when I summon a Harpie, I can destroy one of your magic or trap cards. Oh, and speaking of Harpies, I summon 'Harpie Lady 2' and destroy that facedown card."

[Harpie Lady 2 (1300+200/1400+200) flies in and destroys Johann's card.]

"Now I attack with both Harpie Ladies!"

[Harpie Lady 3 destroys Big Eye and Harpie Lady 2 attacks Johann directly. Johann loses 1800 LP.]

Various cheerings came from the crowd.

"You're awesome, pair of talking breasts!"

"Get him, you sexy ladies!"

"Fight back, Johann!"

Mai smirked and said, "I'm going to win!"

-Many turns later-

"What?!" Mai exclaimed. "I lost?! How?! Why?!"

"I…I honestly don't know." Johann said. "I guess I got lucky in the end."

The crowd dispersed with mixed emotions.

"Why?" Mai asked again. "Why do I always lose to someone onscreen?! I haven't won a duel onscreen since the Duelist Kingdom arc!"

Her too? Am I the only sane one here?

He noticed that Mai was no longer paying any attention to him, so he left to have lunch.

Few things happened after he had his lunch. He bought a music CD, dueled Rex and Weevil again and won, and saw a mob of fans and cosplayers chase after Yugi and Joey. It was actually quite hilarious to watch.

"When is this ever going to end?!" Joey shouted.

"I don't know, but when I see Kaiba again, I'm going to kill him!" Yugi shouted back.

"Now I know how Duke Devlin feels when he gets chased by fangirl mobs!"

["SexyBack playing"] "Hey guys."

"Duke? When did you get here?"

["SexyBack playing"] "Oh, just a minute ago, but it looks like our two mobs have fused together."

"Oh great, now we'll never escape this madness."

"Burn the witch!"

"Tristan? Is that you?"

"Who else could it be?"

Johann decided he should move before he got caught up in the mob. Seeing that it was getting dark, he started to make his way back to the train station. He made the stupid mistake of choosing to use an alleyway as a shortcut.

He saw a big, creepy man in black clothes blocking the way. He tried to be polite and asked, "Can you move?"

"Look what we have here." The man grinned. "What's the big hurry, little boy?"

"None of your damn business, now move!"

"Ooh, someone with spunk. Duel me and I'll let you pass."

"No; I'll just go another way."

Johann started running back when the all too familiar fog had returned. Not wanting to get involved in what he now knew to be a Shadow Game, he kept on running. However, he found himself right back in front of the man.

"Sorry," the man said as he activated his Duel Disk, "but the only way out is through me."

"Son of a bitch." Johann also activated his Duel Disk. "Why do you people always insist on playing these soul stealing games?!"

"Can't tell you why, kid, but I can tell you that you'll wander in the darkness forever!"

"Duel!"

Absolute Pwnage vs. PaniK Attack

"The name's PaniK, and that will be the last name you ever hear! Not only will the darkness torture your soul, it will also [this part has been censored to preserve the readers' sanities] until there's not a bit of you left for the rats."

Johann felt like he was going to be sick. "Dude! You're ****ed up!"

"Kid, you're talking to someone who jerks off to 'Saw' and 'Hostel'; of course I'm ****ed up. Scared yet?"

"No, just disgusted. I'll place a card facedown and summon 'Shining Abyss'."

[Shining Abyss (1600/1800) is summoned.]

"I end my turn."

"Good, then I play the magic card 'Yami', which increases the ATK and DEF of all fiend and spellcaster monsters by 200, while decreasing the ATK and DEF of all fairy monsters by 200. I then summon 'Dragon Zombie', and with your fairy monster weakened by 'Yami' I can destroy it!"

[Dragon Zombie (1600/0) crawls out of the darkness and destroys the weakened Shining Abyss (1600-200/1800-200). Johann loses 200 LP.]

"Scared yet?!"

"No, and stop saying that. I'm going to win this game!"

-Many turns later-

[Johann's Luminous Soldier (2100+500/1400) destroys PaniK's Billy the Puppet (900+200/1300+200). PaniK's LP drops to 0.]

"No!" PaniK exclaimed.

"Yes." Johann said triumphantly.

The dark fog vanished and Johann ran past PaniK, who was so caught up in his defeat that he didn't bother trying to stop him. Johann only felt safe once he had boarded the train home. He sat down and let out an exhausted sigh. Maybe it was because of the nature of the Shadow Games, but he always felt a little winded whenever he won. He felt that he couldn't go a single night without being forced to play a Shadow Game.

That's it, I'm buying pepper spray.

Updates might be slow again. We'll see.

Kaiba returned to his mansion that night with an unmarked box tucked under his arm. Making sure that Mokuba didn't see him, he snuck into his room. He locked the door and pulled the window curtains closed. He set the box on his desk and slowly opened it. He knew what he had purchased at that shady store in Akihabara, and he wanted to make sure no one saw what he got.

Inside the box was a [this part has been censored to preserve the readers' sanities].

"Finally," he said, "a Blue-Eyes White Dragon [censored]. I can't wait to try this out."