They spend some time walking through the promenade in Santa Monica before they head down to the pier. Castle loves the evening atmosphere at the pier anyway, prefers it over the day when there seem to be more crying children and cranky parents sweating under the blistering sun.
By early evening, Castle swears he hears everyone's stomach growling, the bagels having been the only thing they've really consumed all day, apart from some snacks here and there at the outdoor mall.
They take dinner to a vote - he's in the mood for Mexican, and Kate chimes in that she'd kill for a margarita, which sounds pretty perfect to him, too. But then Esposito spots Bubba Gump Shrimp and dives into his horrible Forrest Gump impersonation and it's all downhill from there.
Ugh, Mexican will have to wait.
"Maybe they have margaritas here?" Castle murmurs to Beckett as they step inside the sea-themed restaurant. She slides her sunglasses through her caramel hair and snakes a hand around his arm, leaning into him a bit.
"I'm sure we can find something alcoholic and suitable," she says with a grin. The sun has really taken to her skin over the last few weeks, and he spots several freckles adorning her nose and cheeks that he's not sure he's ever really seen before, even in the New York summers.
California looks good on her, and the thought alone makes him feel lighter.
"Am I gonna have to carry you out of here before the end of the night?" he chuckles, wrapping an arm around her waist, the tips of his fingers brushing against a sliver of tan skin that shows beneath her t-shirt. She flushes pleasantly at his touch, eyes bright with surprise.
She arches an eyebrow, challenging him. "You wish."
Fuck. She's going to kill him.
He nearly stumbles as they follow a waiter back to their table, Esposito throwing them a curious look over his shoulder.
"Looks like I'm not going to be the one who needs carried out of here before the night's over, Castle," Kate teases.
Was it really his idea to share a pullout bed with her tonight?
After two margaritas, the alcohol is pleasantly flowing through Castle's blood as he polishes off his shrimp basket.
Unfortunately for all of them, it's pleasantly throwing through Esposito's, as well.
"Mama always said - "
Castle groans, his head falling into his hands, but Lanie is already on it, shoving a piece of chicken into her fiance's mouth. "If I hear that god awful impression come out of your mouth again tonight, Javier, you are sleeping on the floor," Lanie grumbles, sticking a fry between her lips.
"But our friends are enjoying it!" he protests.
Beside Castle, Kate coughs loudly and Castle's gaze shifts to Ryan, who clears his throat. Esposito's eyes dart between the group, his face slipping into a picture of betrayal. "Oh, I see how it is. It's okay for Castle to make bad impressions, but not me?"
Rick scoffs in disbelief. "Okay, one," he ticks off a finger, "I don't even make them that often," he ticks off another, "and two - my impressions are not bad. Guys, tell him." He looks to Kate for confirmation, but she studiously avoids his gaze, focused instead on the view from their window. Ryan winces, shooting Castle a helpless shrug.
"I plead the fifth," the Irish detective says.
"They're bad, Castle," Lanie interjects. "But they are better than Javi's."
"Wow, okay, looks like I need another margarita," Castle huffs. "Flag down the waiter when you see him."
"Sure I can't convince you to split a cookie sundae with me instead?" Kate asks all-too-innocently, laying a warm hand on his shoulder.
"Are you trying to make up for insulting me by bribing me with chocolate chip cookies and ice cream?"
"Yes."
He pauses dramatically. "You always did know the way to my heart, Beckett."
And to a few other things, he thinks to himself as she settles a palm on his knee and squeezes, her hazel eyes sparkling. He's surprised that their touches have actually grown more frequent with the presence of their friends, and he wonders if the reminder of what they all used to be together is the force driving it.
Well, what they all still are together. Their dynamic, the camaraderie between all five of them, doesn't really feel any different, despite the distance that still lingers between him and Kate. Everything is still the same with their friends and it's such a huge relief. He'd hoped them making the trip out here would be beneficial for all of them, but he had his doubts.
After they put in their dessert order, Ryan's phone rings across the table.
"Sorry, guys, it's Jenny," he apologizes, rising from his seat. "I wanna say good night to her and the kids."
"Go, go," Kate waves him off. "And give Jenny our love."
Ryan nods, smiling, and unlocks his phone, lifting it to his ear as he starts to make his way toward the exit. "Hey, sweetie…"
"You know," Esposito says, "Those kids have really been driving him crazy these last couple of weeks, but he makes Jenny send him photos of them every hour."
Kate laughs. "That sounds about right."
"I'll have to remember to make him show me a few of them later," Castle says. He hasn't seen Jenny or the kids since the last time he was in New York, when Kate broke the news to him that she was moving to Los Angeles. He's sure they've grown so much since then.
"Make sure you set aside a solid hour for that, Castle," Lanie hums. "He'll talk your ear off about those little ones."
"You say that like he minds," Kate jokes, knocking her shoulder into his and letting it linger.
"It's true," he replies on a wistful sigh. "What I wouldn't give for Alexis to be that little again."
His wife goes stiff beside him then, removing herself from his space. He opens his mouth, confused as Lanie and Esposito go uncharacteristically silent, their curious gaze flitting between the two of them.
Wait, what is happening right now -
He turns to Kate, but she's rising to her feet, a little clumsily, her napkin falling to the floor. "I'm just gonna get some fresh air for a minute. Be right back." Her eyes find his, but there's pain flickering there and it's all too brief, wrong, and her smile that's meant to be reassuring doesn't reach her eyes.
"Are you okay?" Castle asks, concerned.
"Yeah. I'll be right back." Her hand brushes the tops of his shoulders as she scoots past him toward the door.
Once out of earshot, Castle turns back to his friends. "I'm not imagining it, right? Something happened just now?"
Lanie bites her lip, hesitating as she looks to Esposito for help. He shrugs.
"Guys, what is it?"
"Bro, it's really not our business. Go talk to Beckett," Esposito says, nodding toward the door. "We'll hold down the fort here until you get back."
"All right," Castle says, slowly. "I'll be right back."
Esposito shoots him a half-smile. "Take your time."
Castle walks outside the restaurant to find her leaning against the railing that separates them from the water, her forearms bracing her body as she stares out at the ocean. The sun has just begun to set, the perfect backdrop, and if he wasn't so concerned about her, he would pull out his phone and snap a photo.
Another time.
"Kate," he says gently to avoid startling her before he lays a hand on her shoulder.
She turns her head, brushing her wind-tangled hair out of her face, guilt etched in her features. Her eyes are rimmed red as if she's been crying. "Sorry," she rasps, shaking her head. "I didn't mean to leave abruptly like that. I just needed a minute."
"Tell me," he implores, bending over to rest his arms on the railing, matching her stance.
"What you said about wishing Alexis was little again."
Castle frowns. "Yeah?"
"It just made me think about…" she trails off, biting her lip.
"What?"
She groans, frustrated. "It's stupid."
"If it has you this upset Kate, then it isn't stupid. It's important, and I'd like to hear it," he says gently.
"It made me think about our children," she blurts out.
"Our - "
"I wasted two years of our lives, Rick. I'm going to be 38 this year," Kate chokes out, tearing a hand through the tangled waves of her hair. "What if we can't have kids because I screwed up again?"
His heart cracks in two. She's upset because she's worried they won't be able to have children of their own? Oh, Kate.
"Hey," he soothes, lifting a thumb to brush her wet cheek. "We still have plenty of time. Women give birth in their late 30s and into their 40s all the time now."
"I know, but we're still trying to repair our marriage. We're not exactly ready to bring a child into this world soon," she says miserably.
"I think we've been doing a pretty decent job so far. A few bumps here and there," he says with a shrug.
She shoves away from the railing, fire in her body. "How can you be so calm about this? Aren't you angry?"
He scrubs a hand down his face. "Kate - "
She takes a step closer to him. "Rick, what if we can't have the family we want?" she whispers.
Castle sighs, pushing away from the railing to stand once more. "Kate, come here."
Her body deflates at that, and he can feel her trembling as she steps into his space. His hands lift to bracket her face, his forehead falling to kiss hers. God, he still loves her so much.
"We already have the family I want. You, me, my mother, Alexis, Ryan, Jenny, Esposito, Lanie. We're trying to put those pieces back together again, but...you're it," he says softly. "I know you want to be a mother and I would be over the damn moon to be a father again. When the time is right and you and I are back to where we need to be, we'll start trying. And if it doesn't happen naturally, then we'll adopt or foster or whatever."
Her eyes slam closed. "Rick…"
He shakes his head. "Our lives have been hard enough for the last two years without me or you beating yourself up over this." He smudges his mouth against her forehead, warm from the sun. "Besides, don't you remember, Senator Beckett? Three children."
She chokes out a watery laugh, nudging his head with hers. "Shut up," she grumbles.
They're silent for a minute, resting against each other, just breathing —
Being.
"You feelin' any better?" he murmurs.
She nods against him. "Yeah. Thank you."
"Ready to head back inside? Esposito's probably eaten our dessert by now."
Kate chokes out a laugh. "Not if he knows what's good for him."
They all split up a bit for the last hour or two that they spend on the pier. Castle was worried Ryan would feel too much like a fifth wheel if they coupled up, but Ryan was off on his own solo mission to find some souvenirs for Jenny and the kids.
Way overpriced, Castle is sure, but the detective would be hard-pressed to find any mementos in the entire city that weren't annoyingly priced.
Castle isn't sure where Lanie and Esposito went off to, but he's too busy trying to convince Kate to join him on a few of the rides.
"What about the ferris wheel?" he hops on his toes excitedly. She shivers in the teal Santa Monica zip up sweatshirt he'd forked over 50 bucks for after finding goosebumps prickling all over her arms half an hour ago. He knew she wouldn't drop that cash when she'd had perfectly good clothes at home - that she just didn't think about bringing with her tonight - and she'd been surprised when he returned from his trip to the bathroom with it in his hands.
So simple, but completely worth the look on her face.
"I don't know, Castle," she says now, looking up at the top of the ride.
"Beckett, that view is killer."
She rolls her eyes. "It's dark," she points out.
"Still killer," he says. "Besides, we can cuddle for warmth since you're clearly still cold."
"I am not," she protests even as she bounces a little.
He makes a show out of running his eyes over the length of her. "Your Honor, I give you the People's Exhibit A."
"Okay, fine," she groans. "Let's get on the ferris wheel."
He grins. "I knew I'd wear you down."
"Story of our relationship, Castle," she says with a smirk.
"Wow, Beckett. That one hurt," he pouts.
The light in her eyes sparkling, she shyly slips her hand into his, soothing her barb at him a little. His breath catches in his throat and he fits his calloused fingers in between hers, still a perfect fit. She's edges closer to him, inches away, the bright lights of the pier dancing across her face as she tilts her head up to look at him. His other hand finds her cheek, his knuckles sweeping at her jaw.
"I'm going to kiss you now," he rasps.
His gaze fall to the hard work of her throat as she swallows, her eyes fluttering closed. His thumb brushes across her bottom lip and her reaction is instantaneous, shuddering as her free hand grips the edge of his shirt tightly.
His forehead falls onto hers. "Kate," he breathes out, already overwhelmed.
"Rick, please," she whimpers.
And then his mouth crashes onto hers like waves breaking at the shore.