Yeah. He had really ruined everything this time. Why had he yelled at her like that when he was doing the same damn thing?
Because it hurt. It hurt to know she had given up so long ago. It hurt to know that she had gone behind his back with so many lies and tricks, trying to keep her affair a secret.
What would happen when she found out about his affair? Would she do the same thing he did? Honestly, he didn't know. All he could think about was the hurt in her eyes when he had screamed at her in the hospital.
They had let her out of the hospital the next day, and she had asked if Cheyenne would stay with her. She didn't tell her daughter why, but Cheyenne was more than happy to. The women stayed in Reba's bedroom for four days straight. Brock never saw them leave. Although, that could be because he stayed out of the house as much as possible. He went to work early in the morning and came home late at night. He couldn't face her. Not just yet.
xXx
"So, Mom, how are you feeling?" Cheyenne asked Reba as the sun slowly rose on the fifth day of hiding out.
Reba shrugged. "Fine, I guess." She tried to sit up, ready to get out of this horrid bed that had become her prison. She had no desire to speak to Brock, but she knew that if she stayed in bed any longer, it would kill her.
"Do you want one of your painkillers?"
Reba nodded, slowly moving to the bathroom. Everything was sore, but the doctors assured her she'd heal just fine. They had also told her about the second driver in the crash. He had died on impact, and Reba knew it had been her fault. She was the one who hadn't looked before turning into the gas station. She realized that when her memory started returning. She recalled having a panic attack and, well, panicking.
She shook her head, trying not to cry anymore as she closed the bathroom door, leaning against it. One of the most hardest things she had been going through was that she had lost her baby. Before the doctor even said the words, she knew that the little girl was gone. She could feel it. It was a heartbreaking feeling, and she vowed to never put herself in that situation where that kind of hurt could inhabit her mind ever again.
Then there was Brock. He had never spoken to her like that in all the years they had been together. Sure, they had had fights, but they had never been that unbearable. But she didn't really blame him. She had messed up big-time. She had betrayed him in the worst way possible, and she didn't know how to fix it.
"You okay in there?" Cheyenne asked.
"Yeah. I'm fine." She thought a minute. "Cheyenne?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm going to Oklahoma Saturday and I want Elizabeth to come with me."
"What? Are you sure you should go? You were just in the hospital."
Reba opened the door to find Cheyenne holding a pill bottle and a bottled water. "I have to go. If I stay in this house any longer, I'm going to go crazy."
"Do you want me to come with you? I don't mind, Mom, and I really don't want you to have to go alone."
"I'll have Elizabeth. If that's fine with you."
Cheyenne paused before nodding, guessing her mother was making sense. She hadn't left the house in almost a week and it was normal to want to go back to a place she knew and loved. Her home here had been under too much stress lately.
"I don't mind," She finally said. "Just promise me you'll be careful."
"I will. I'd never do anything that would put me and her in danger." She picked up her daughter's hands, realizing where her hesitation was coming from. "If I feel the slightest bit of a panic attack coming on, I'll pull over and rest, alright? I promise."
Cheyenne kissed her cheek. "I trust you."
She gave her mom a long hug. It had been awhile since they had hugged like that. It was sad that too much strain on a family could prevent everyone from showing affection. Some more than others…
When they pulled away, Reba forced a smile as Cheyenne said, "I have to run home and get Kasey to his doctor's appointment. Van's dying to get out of the house." She smiled. "Are you going to be okay? It'll only be a few hours."
"I'll be just fine."
"Okay. Call me if you need me. And be safe. We're supposed to get some bad storms."
"I will. You be safe, too. Especially on the road."
They hugged one last time before Cheyenne took off down the stairs and out to her car. Reba waited until she heard her drive away before she went downstairs.
The house was dark seeing as how it was only seven-thirty A.M., and Reba quickly turned on all the lights. She couldn't stand anymore darkness in her life. Not even natural darkness.
She slowly made her way to the couch where Brock had been sleeping since she came home from the hospital. She hadn't spoken one word to him for five days, and she didn't intend to anytime soon. She wouldn't even tell him she was leaving for Oklahoma.
Sighing, she sat down and reached for the remote before changing her mind. She enjoyed the silence. Jake had already left for school and Brock was at work. There hadn't been much peace in her life lately, so she treasured this moment. It was very nice until a buzzing sound reached her ears. She opened her eyes and lifted her head, spying Brock's phone on the coffee table. He must have left it.
The buzzing indicated a text. She knew it was a total invasion of privacy, but they were still married and what was his was hers, even though they hardly acted like a couple. So she picked up his phone and opened the text.
It was from a number she didn't recognize, and the words before her made her want to scream.
You're late, Brock. Get to the office now so I can-
The next words were too explicit for her to even fathom someone typing out, much less actually sending. It made her want to throw up, but she went through the rest of the inbox. All the texts were just like the ones he had received a moment ago. And the ones he had sent were just as bad. She almost slid to the floor when she came across a text with the woman's name: Barbra Jean.
As she was coming to the end of the messages, the door opened and she turned to see Brock standing there, wet from the rain outside. He locked eyes with her and saw her holding his phone.
"I forgot that," He mumbled. Deep down, he knew that she had read everything on there.
She threw it at him as hard as she could. It hit him in the head and he groaned, holding his temple.
"What the fuck was all that?"
"What was what?" He began to tremble. She never spoke like that, no matter what. It scared him, as hard as that was to admit.
She stood up, thrusting a hand towards his phone that lay on the ground. "All the shit on your phone. Why would you send stuff like that to Barbra Jean? Are you just texting, or are you actually letting her do those things to you?"
He bent down and picked up his phone, putting it in his pocket. "What does it matter? We're pretty much over anyway."
"You have no idea the truth you've spoken. I want all your shit out of this house by the end of the day."
"Reba-"
"No! You're going to blow up at me for cheating when you've been doing the same? How low is that? It's pretty damn low. And I don't even blame you all that much. I should have known in the first place."
"It hasn't been going on long."
"Does it look like I give a damn? Cheating is cheating, like you've told me before. It doesn't matter how long or when or with who."
"You can't do this to me. You cheated, too. You did everything I did. Maybe more! With who knows how many men!"
"I may be a slut, but at least I'm not a dick with a big ego."
"No, you're just a gold-digging bitch."
"Nice comeback, honey."
"Thanks."
"Shut the hell up. Just get out. I don't even want to look at you."
He shrugged. "Nice to see a twenty-eight year relationship end like this."
She was already starting up the stairs. "It's been over for years, Brock. You've left me with nothing, but I've worked with less. I'll be just fine. You go have your affair with Barbra Jean all you want. I'm done."
"Yeah, have fun with your therapist!"
"I will!"
"Be sure and tell him about how you killed his kid."
She slowly turned around and glared at him. How dare he bring up her daughter. She walked up to him and slapped him right across the face.
"Fuck you. That's my daughter! Mine!" She shoved him backwards. "Don't you ever bring her up. Ever."
He looked into her eyes and saw the anguish, ignoring all the scratches from her wreck, seeing her true beauty, and he immediately regretted his words. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah, you are sorry, Brock. So am I. I'm sorry that I ever believed we had something special. " Tears formed in her eyes.
"We did."
"Well, it's over now." She started up the stairs again. "I'll be in Oklahoma when you get home from work, and when I get back next week, I better not see anything of yours in this house." She stopped long enough to pull her wedding ring off and fling it his way. Then, she twisted off her engagement ring, Brock's aunt's ring, and threw it next. Then she ran the rest of the way up the stairs.
She heard him leave after she spoke those words. Her door closed gently after she was safely in her room. She fell onto her bed and sobbed. Oh, how she loved him. No matter what he said to her or how he treated her, she'd always love him. But she couldn't keep going on like that. The hurt was too much.
She reached over and flipped the radio on, desperate for sound to get the imperfect thoughts out of her mind.
"Thank you, darlin'. May God bless you and each step you take. Bring you closer to the things you seek to find. Goodbye, darlin', I gotta go now. Gotta try to find a way to lose these memories of a love so warm and true."
She sobbed and listened to the words, horrified that she had just ended her marriage to the man she'd loved for nearly thirty years. But the words were true. She hoped he had all he ever dreamed of, but she had to make him leave so she could start to get over him.
xXx
Alone in his car, Brock banged his fist on the steering wheel. All of a sudden, every feeling he ever thought he had for Barbra Jean was lost as he realized how much he loved Reba. He had thought up the meanest things he could think of and said them to the woman that meant so much to him. And he hated himself for it because there was no turning back now. She was through, and he knew she meant it.
The rain pelted on the windshield, and thunder boomed in the distance.
Perfect weather for today. Thanks, God…
He sighed, feeling tears form in his eyes. He had always heard that if a man cried over a woman, he must have really loved her, and at that moment, he couldn't think of anything that was more true.
Her rings were heavy in his pocket, and his heart ached to think she'd never wear them again. The ring he always admired on her finger, the ring he swore he'd never take advantage of, had left her possession. She didn't want it anymore, and that killed him.
He turned on the radio, needing his thoughts to be centered around something else.
"Thank you, darlin'. May God bless you and each step you take. Bring you closer to the things you seek to find. Goodbye, darlin', I gotta go now. Gotta try to find a way to lose these memories of a love so warm and true."
That was when he really lost it.
xXx
"I can't believe we're going to Oklahoma!"
Elizabeth bounced in her seat as Reba drove along the interstate. She knew she looked like death warmed over, but she was happy she was going home to her mama and daddy. She needed them right now.
"Me, either," Reba mumbled.
Elizabeth didn't hear her as she looked out the window at all the farms and ranches they were passing as they crossed the Texoma border.
"Are we almost there?"
"Not quite. We'll be there soon."
"I'm bored."
Reba knew what she was taking on when she invited Elizabeth to go with her, so she wasn't surprised when Elizabeth kept saying things like, "I'm bored," "I have to go to the bathroom," "There's a dead skunk in the road," and "Are we there yet?".
"Why don't you get out your portable DVD player and watch a movie?" Reba suggested, glancing in the rear-view mirror so she could see Elizabeth.
The little girl shook her head. "Nah. I want you to tell me some more of the story."
Reba took a deep breath. What was the point? Her and Brock were over now.
"Oh, let's not. Not much else happens. We get married and here we are today."
"Grandmaaaa. Please?"
Reba sighed, giving in. She was glad, however, that the story was almost over and she'd never have to relive it again.
"Two days after I sang in that bar, your grandpa came to my house…"
xXx
July 1979
Brock walked down the front porch steps of his Uncle Pete's house, ready to head to Reba's. He had a ring in his pocket and a question to ask the love of his life. He had spent all last night talking to his uncle about Reba and Pete had been so touched, that he gave Brock his late wife's ring to give to Reba. Brock was ecstatic and couldn't wait to propose to Reba. He already asked her, in a way, but he wanted to make it official.
"Brock, where ya going?"
Brock turned around and looked back at the porch to see his uncle leaning over the railing. He couldn't stand up straight anymore because of his scoliosis.
"Headin' to Reba's."
Pete smiled and nodded. "I understand you wanna ask her right away, but there's work to do. One more day won't hurt a bit."
Brock knew he was right, but he was so anxious to ask and hear her say 'yes.' He couldn't wait to watch her eyes light up with excitement and jump into his arms. Then, he'd get to admire the ring on her finger for the rest of his life, knowing that she was his forever.
It sounded cheesy to him as he headed towards the pig-pen, but he smiled nonetheless. It was about to become a reality, and if his reality was cheesy, he didn't care because it was a damn good one.
xXx
February 2007
"We're here! We're here! I can't believe we're here!"
Elizabeth sang her sentences in a song as her and Reba walked up the front porch steps to Reba's childhood home. Mixed and bittersweet emotions ran through Reba's heart. With a glance behind her, she saw the barn where her and Brock had shared so many things. A lot of the red paint had peeled off of it, but it still had the same frame-work and foundation. It had hardly changed.
Elizabeth knocked on the screen door with the chipped green paint, and the two waited to be let in. A moment later, the front door opened and the screen door was pushed forward, revealing Helen. Her eyes were tired and Reba thought caring for the ranch and her daddy twenty-four-seven had aged her ten years.
"You know you don't have to knock," Helen told her daughter with a soft smile. "Come on in."
Reba stepped through, her eyes adjusting to the dim lights in the foyer. Elizabeth tagged along behind, looking around at all the old pictures on the walls and vintage furniture from the fifties.
"I just didn't want to interrupt Daddy in case he was sleeping or something."
Helen waved Reba off. "His hearing's going, anyway. Set your bags down. We'll take them upstairs later." She grabbed Reba's and Elizabeth's overnight bags and set it by the stairs. She looked up and caught sight of the little blonde-haired girl peeking around the corner in the dining room. "And this must be Elizabeth."
The seven year old turned around and stepped to Reba's side, nodding. "Yes." She held out her hand. "Nice to meet you."
Reba and Helen chuckled before Reba said, "She's just like her daddy."
Helen shook her head, hands on her hips. "She's grown like a weed since the last pictures Cheyenne sent. How old are you now, sweetie?"
"Seven," Elizabeth answered. "How old are you?"
Helen chuckled. "Real old. Why don't we all come in here where your daddy is so you can say hi."
They all filed into the large living room where there was an ancient television set in the corner, the volume rather loud. There was a couch from the eighties and two recliners. One was occupied by a slightly overweight cowboy who, despite his illness and disability to get out and about most of the time, wore boots and Wranglers. When everyone came in, he turned his head and his eyes locked on Reba's.
"Hey. Foxy."
Reba smiled, tears nearly reaching her eyes, as she rushed to her daddy's side, taking his hand and kneeling beside his chair.
"How are you feeling?" She asked.
"Been better."
Reba noticed her answered a lot of questions that way. She didn't like it.
"Well, I'm sure you'll get better." She turned to Elizabeth. "I brought somebody with me."
She motioned Elizabeth over and the little girl went up to Reba and J.V.
"Daddy, this is Elizabeth."
J.V.'s eyes lit up as he finally got to see this bright-eyed girl in person. A smile that had been absent for months cracked through the frown lines of his mouth, and he laughed. Then laughed some more.
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow and Reba looked at her daddy. "What's wrong?" She asked.
He tried to control himself as he said, "She looks just like you. She's the spitting image of you."
"What?" Reba and Helen both said at the same time.
J.V. nodded. "She's got them itty bitty legs, skinny scrawny arms, freckles and strawberry blonde hair. That hair will turn tomato red. Just watch."
Elizabeth smiled and Reba was grateful for her maturity. She was able to take it all in stride and understand he meant no harm. "I sure do hope so," She told him. "I wanna be just like Grandma."
"From the looks of things, you will be. Now, come on over here and give me a hug."
Elizabeth jumped up onto the recliner and wrapped her arms around J.V.'s neck. Reba's heart melted as she saw her daddy hug the little girl right back. It was as if they'd known each other the whole time and just hadn't ever met.
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