The Last Honest Look – Chapter 11

Tegan POV

The next few days passed quietly in Block C. No more overnight fights broke out and Sara and I managed to spend some time alone. It wasn't nearly enough and I couldn't wait until the limitations of this place were removed and we could really enjoy ourselves. A knock on our cell door from a guard informed me I had mail to collect. Sara raised her eyebrow in questioning and I shrugged my shoulders in response. I was pretty sure Jeremy had come through but didn't want to get my hopes up too high in case my Mum had decided to stop ignoring me and had sent me biscuits or something similarly ridiculous.

I walked to the small window that acted as our post office and signed for my packages. There were two, one which looked about the size of what I had requested and one, which looked too big. I went into my only place of solace and quiet, the classroom and opened the large package first. A wry smile crossed my lips as I opened it and immediately closed it – how did this get past the screening? The second package came with a letter from Jeremy, telling me he was glad I had found someone special and that my apartment was still in one piece on the outside and not to worry he would help me find work when I got out.

I took the two small items out of the package and placed them in my trouser pocket. I wanted to wait until the perfect moment to present Sara with her gifts and knew that probably wouldn't be until lights out when we had a decent amount of time alone. I was trying to think of the right words to accompany my presents. I thought about writing down some notes and then thought how incredibly lame that would be. I thought about writing her a poem or a song but that seemed even lamer. I did have a feeling when I looked at Sara, the words might just come to me, or at least that is what I hoped.

Sara POV

I was really hoping Tegan had been sent something fun. Maybe some decent food or some games or something. Although I am getting through an incredible amount of reading, prison is incredibly monotonous and tedious. After she left to cellect her post, Tegan had skipped dinner. I was beginning to worry when I returned to our cell after dinner and she still wasn't there. I didn't have to worry for long as she walked in soon after I did. She rested an elbow on each of my shoulders and kissed me. 'Hey gorgeous, I've missed your lips.' I loved the way she called me gorgeous. It made me feel wanted, I couldn't wait for lights out tonight when I could show her how much I wanted her back.

Tegan and I settled into our nightly routine of sharing my bunk, me at one end, her at the other, reading. As we were both studying history we could share books and frequently had lengthy and heated discussions on past events. The heated discussions were my favourite as I loved to hear her speak so passionately and eloquently. As lights out were approaching, I went to the sink to clean my teeth and put on my pyjamas. Tegan was usually down to her boxers by the time I turned round, but not tonight. As the lights dimmed I got under my covers. Tegan crawled in next to me, facing towards me. Our lips were inches apart and I dived in for a kiss. She was usually the one who deepened our kiss but tonight she kept it tender and after a few minutes pulled away to speak.

Tegan looked so serious as she began; 'Sara, I have quite a lot to say and I'm not sure how I'm going to get through it all so please let me finish before you say anything. Since I met you, my life started to make sense. The walls I have built up over the years have come crumbling down. I can't remember a time before I knew you, and that's a good thing because my life was pretty shit before I did. I want to know every part of you, explore every inch of you. I want to be the one who not only helps you reach your goals, but is by your side celebrating them when you do.' Tegan reaches into her pocket, the reason she left her trousers on now making sense. She pulls out a key and places it in the palm of my hand. 'This is a copy of the key to my apartment. I was absolutely serious when I said I want a life with you outside of this place. I know you will get out before me, but if you are willing to wait for me, I will share everything I have with you.'

Tegan took a deep breath. I didn't know what to say. How do you respond when someone is offering you everything you've ever wanted in the palm of your hand? Tegan again reached in her pocket. I giggled as on top of the key she placed an old pocket watch. 'I was raised by my grandparents. My grandmother gave this to my grandfather on their 40th wedding anniversary. It symbolised the fact she had cherished every moment with him and wanted to enjoy every day they had left together. That is what I want with you Sara, to enjoy and cherish every moment. To cease every future opportunity, to never do anything to ever jeopardise that.'

I was crying now and held tightly to the key and watch in my hand, only beginning to understand the significance and the power of Tegan's words. I responded with the only three words I felt would convey what I felt. I was incapable of more than this as my tears fell 'I love you'. Tegan wiped the tears from my cheeks and smiled. 'I love you too Sara.' The last gift that Jeremy sent wasn't really appropriate after such a heart felt exchange but I couldn't wait to see Sara's eyes light up when she saw that. I leant into Sara, licking her salty tears from her cheeks and slowly kissed her neck. Usually this would lead to sex, but tonight I just wanted to hold her and show her with my gentle kisses and encircling arms what she meant to me.