As always, reviews and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated.

Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer and I don't own any of the Twilight series characters or stories. I borrowed the dialogue and storyline from New Moon, but the rest is my own take on the story, as seen through Edward's eyes.

11. EVASION

I stood there, motionless. Should I wait? Should I continue to press forward? Should I go back? I closed my eyes, listening intently for Benjamin's thoughts, but heard nothing.

It's not your fault. You can't help it. Bella's words did nothing to calm my fears.

I hesitated, unsure of what to do. I had told him that he had to keep up or he would be left behind, but I never imagined that it would come to this. I searched the trees in vain. He was nowhere in sight. With a heavy heart, I turned and continued to trudge through the forest.

The terrain was beginning to change. The lush evergreen forests were giving way to a flat, arid climate with little tree coverage. I would have to plan my moves carefully. This would require travelling primarily at night and lurking in shadow during the day. I loathed the thought of traveling that way, but saw little choice in the matter.

Sunlight filtered through the waning green canopy, hitting my marble skin and reflecting hundreds of rainbows on the ground below, as a light passing through a prism. The scent of humans still hung heavy in the air and the danger of exposure weighed on my mind. Scanning my surroundings, I spotted a shaded crevice, hidden by the decaying trunk of a fallen tree. Resolving to the fact that I would have to place my mission on hold once again, I crept into the fissure and waited for dusk to settle.

A sense of hope swept over me. Perhaps if I waited, it would give Benjamin the opportunity to catch up with me. As I sat in my green surroundings, I struggled to focus my mind, to listen for any thoughts that would indicate my friend's return. The longer I listened to the silence, the more frustrated I became. Hope turned to frustration. Frustration turned to despair. Once again, the misery of the past few months threatened to overtake me.

I closed my eyes, wrestling with my thoughts, but as before, the only thing I saw when I closed my eyes was her face. Bella smiled at me. She taunted me. She beckoned to me to return to her. I heard a growl rumbling from my chest as anger overwhelmed me.

Was I doomed to punish myself for an eternity? Was it my fate to forever suffer for my naivety? What influence did she have over me and why did I feel so powerless to ignore it?

So many times, my family had cautioned me against my involvement with Bella.

She's not one of us, they would say.

Alice was my only sibling who could see the potential in our relationship. Her friendship with Bella blinded her to the possibilities of the danger we posed. I knew in my heart that Alice still believed the vision of Bella as a vampire would come to pass, regardless of my protests. It was what Bella wanted. In my heart of hearts, it was what I selfishly wanted as well.

I'm here… which, roughly translated, means I would rather die than stay away from you.

I smiled as I remembered how fond my family had become of Bella. Alice was her best friend. Emmett was the big brother she never had. Carlisle and Esme treated her like a daughter. Oh, how I wished things had turned out differently.

Don't go away, then. The hallucination of Bella taunted me mercilessly.

I turned my thoughts to my mother. Esme beamed at the thought that I had finally found my soul mate. She believed that we were destined for each other.

What now?, I thought to myself. If you find your one true love in this world, how could you go on once you've lost them? How could I possibly continue to exist when I had left my whole heart in the care of another?

Come and get it, then, she challenged.

No matter what distance I put between us, my heart would always belong to Bella. A part of me hoped that her heart would belong to me as well. I cursed my mind that would forever remember her with perfect clarity. Oh, how I wished for the ability to forget, to lock away the memories that haunted me.

In a moment of sheer weakness, I placed my hand in my pocket and pulled out my phone. My fingers trembled, hesitating over the small buttons. How I wanted to call her, just to hear her voice. Just to reassure myself that she was okay. It would be so simple. She would never have to know it was me. The motion of dialing the sequence of numbers was memorized in my fingers. I pressed three digits and quickly shut the phone.

NO! I shouted in my head.

Please, she begged.

I mustn't interfere. I made a promise to her. I closed my eyes again as the pain gripped me. My knuckles strained as I clutched the phone tightly in my shaking fist. Releasing my hold and opening the phone once more, I quickly dialed my sister.

Alice answered before the first ring. "Edward?"

"Alice…" my voice broke as I choked back a sob.

"Alice, I don't know if I can do this. My resolve is diminishing. I almost called her. I need her, Alice. No matter how far I run, I just can't get her out of my head."

I was furious at myself for allowing my moment of weakness. I nearly broke every promise I made to Bella in a moment of sheer vulnerable selfishness.

"I know," she replied.

"I'm trying my best to focus, to distract myself, but my thoughts are always on Bella. I can't go on. I need to know."

"Edward, are you sure?" she was hesitant, already knowing what I would ask, even if I was unable to say the words.

I nodded silently and whispered, "Yes, Alice. I need to know. I just need to know that she is alright."

"I don't think - "

"Alice. Please," I begged.

She hesitated. She had made a promise to me and was unwilling to break it so easily, even if I asked her to.

"Edward, she's fi –," she whispered.

"Don't you say it, Alice.," I interrupted. "Don't you dare say fine!"

"Edward, I –," she stammered.

"Alice, I need more information than fine. That doesn't convey anything. Is she happy? Is she sad? Has she moved on?"

"But she is fine, Edward. I don't know what else to tell you. She's living her life as best she can. She trying."

The words gave me no relief. Alice did not offer any more information and I didn't ask. It was bad enough that I had allowed Alice to look in on her when I promised that we would not meddle anymore. I didn't know if I could bear to hear more. If she were sad it would only make the desire to return that much more powerful. And if she were happy, that truth would devastate me nearly as much.

"Edward…Please come home," she pleaded.

"Not yet," I murmured.

"Then let me come to you." Her voice was cautious, but firm. The concern in her tone was evident.

"No, Alice. I need to do this on my own and you need to be there for the family. With Rosalie and Emmett gone and with me away, they can't lose you too."

"But, Edward – I was planning on taking a short trip to Biloxi. I could meet you."

"No, Alice!" The words left my lips with more force than I intended. Remorse gripped me as I heard her gasp into the receiver. She was hurt.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I really just need to be alone."

"Okay," she managed to whisper. She was having difficulty masking the twinge in her voice.

I snapped the phone shut and returned it to my pocket, unwilling to continue the conversation. I knew that Alice would not call back. I hugged my knees to my chest and rested my chin on my crossed arms. I looked up through the trees as the rays of sunshine danced across my face. I closed my eyes, allowing the warmth of the sun to wash over me and listening to the sounds of the forest. Birds were singing overhead and a light breeze rustled the leaves. I waited in stony silence for the sun to set.

Time moved slowly. The sun was setting over the horizon. The thoughts I heard in my head were only my own. There was no indication that Benjamin would catch up to me.

Slowly, I rose to my feet and climbed from my secluded hiding place. I scanned my surroundings once more hoping to catch a glimpse of my friend.

Nothing.

I turned and continued to walk through the sparse trees. The sounds of civilization began filling my ears as I continued. The lights of a nearby city glowed brilliantly under a violet sky.

I trudged silently, disappearing into the background as humans walked past, completely unaware of my presence. I blended in, disappeared, a ghost. How ironic that the empty man walking through the streets would be perceived exactly as he was.

I was a ghost, a faint resemblance of my former self. I was empty, aimlessly walking through the sea of humanity. I had lost my focus. I was losing my drive. Victoria's scent was difficult to discern when the aroma of humans saturated the air around me.

I wandered the darkened streets, searching for any clues I could find, but the strain of the day had defeated my determination. I was distracted by a faint scream in the distance.

No, please, no! The thoughts of a frightened girl came into focus and I followed them.

The déjà-vu of the situation was crushing. I followed her fearful thoughts and turned a corner into a darkened alley as I heard the scuffling sounds of a struggle. Then I saw her. She was young, probably seventeen. Her frail body was pinned against a wall by the arms of a burly man. His face was filled with desire and lust as he grabbed at her.

They didn't see me approach. Silently, I stepped behind her attacker and her eyes widened in fear and wonder. He paused briefly, confused by her expression, before my fingers wrapped tightly around his neck.

I thought back to my rebellious years as a new vampire. How easy it would be to rid the world of this scum, but Carlisle's voice in my head reminded me that I was no longer that person. I was better than that.

No, my son. Remember who you are.

The man wheeled around to face me and a growl rumbled in my chest. His eyes widened in terror and my fingers tightened slightly, yet with not enough force to snap his neck. I fought back the urge to kill.

With little effort, I lifted the man from the ground and flung him across the alley. His head cracked against the brick wall and he crumpled to the ground. Momentarily dazed, he shook his head and quickly scrambled to his feet, running from the alley.

My face turned to the girl. Her alabaster skin glowed in the moonlight and her eyes were filled with fear. She quivered as I brushed her long brown hair from her face. She looked up at me, unsure.

"Are you alright?" I asked in a soothing tone.

"I – I…" she stammered while I waited patiently. "I think so."

The familiarity was devastating. I remembered the night so long ago that I had saved Bella from a similar fate. In a darkened alley, the vile thoughts of the attackers drew me to her. Fear and fury pulsed through my body as I approached the scene.

She had stood motionless, seemingly unafraid. The desire to destroy them all was great, but the fear of exposure and frightening Bella away was greater.

I remembered that night with perfect clarity. I had studied her, entrusted her with my secrets, and delighted in the fact that she didn't shy away from me.

You're dangerous? She asked, but not bad. No, I don't believe that you're bad.

My mind refocused on the present and the girl standing before me, but it wasn't a stranger I saw, it was her, my beautiful Bella. Her eyes searched my face as I traced her cheek with my cool finger. She trembled and withdrew from my touch. I stepped closer, wrapping my arms around her waist. I nestled my face in her hair and breathed deep. The body in my arms stiffened slightly and her small hands pushed up against my chest. I held her tighter and a whimper escaped her lips.

"Please," she begged.

A moment of lucidity thrust me back into reality. I raised my head and carefully pushed the girl away from me. I looked upon her fearful face. She was not my Bella. Remorse and guilt filled my eyes as I looked on the girl's frightened form.

"I'm sorry," I moaned as I turned to run from her. She stood frozen as she watched me hurry away. Her mind was a jumble of confusion and fright that gave way to relief as I disappeared from her sight.

I walked as quickly as I could without drawing attention to myself. Ducking into another alleyway, I leaned against the brick façade and allowed myself to slide down to the ground. I lay there, staring up at the sky.

Am I losing my mind? I thought to myself. How could I have been so careless? That poor girl must have been absolutely terrified!

I closed my eyes, praying to forget my brief lapse in sanity. The desire for Bella was so great that I was beginning to see her everywhere. Not just the images in my own mind, but strangers started to resemble her.

For just an epigrammatic moment, in my mind, that girl was Bella. I could see her warm chocolate eyes, feel the blush of her cheeks under my wintry touch, smell the sweet aroma of freesia that wafted from her skin. The sensory experience had been so real that I could barely believe it had been imagined.

What does this mean? I thought. Will I never escape the memory? Will the pain only worsen with time? The thought of this agony only increasing with the passage of time was too much for me to bear. I pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingers in concentration, forcing myself to focus.

I have to get back on track. I have to find Victoria.

I rose to my feet, leaving the dark alley. I walked cautiously, averting my eyes from the faces that passed by.

Bella. They were all Bella. Closing my eyes, I breathed deeply, searching for Victoria's trail once again. A faint aroma filled my nostrils and I followed the odor through the bustling streets.

The city was teeming with life. Parents hurried their children home for bedtime. Laughter floated from an outdoor café. The aroma of coffee and wine hung heavy in the air. The bass from a local club thumped steadily like a heartbeat.

I continued to follow the scent. Turning a corner, I could smell it.

Blood.

Instinctively, I stopped breathing, but followed the direction the scent had emanated from. The walls of the tall buildings blocked out the moonlight in the narrow alley before me. I listened for the thoughts of the injured, but heard nothing. Whoever was bleeding was no longer alive.

I continued down the alley. Passing a rusting dumpster, I saw the source of the odor. A young man lay lifeless in the street. His eyes stared blankly up at me, his face pallid from lack of blood. I recognized immediately the crescent shaped bite on his exposed neck.

Vampire.

With the fear of losing control no longer plaguing my mind, I began breathing again. The scent of human blood made my head spin slightly, but the scent of the vampire who left him here was stronger.

Victoria!

She had been here.

I knelt over the corpse and placed my hand on his arm. His body was still warm. She had been here not moments before I arrived!

A surge of energy ran through me as I strode forward, following her aroma. I frantically searched the thoughts that flooded my mind, hoping to hear her, desperately praying for a clue to finding her.

I began to run through the streets. The need to remain hidden slowly slipped away as I madly searched for her. Curious eyes followed me as I ran through the alleys, but I ignored them. The hunter had taken over.

HIM!

Startled by the sudden thought, I wheeled around looking for the source. There she was. Her fiery red hair blew wildly around her face. Her crimson eyes were filled with fury as they locked on me. A hiss echoed through the alley as she crouched defensively, ready to pounce.

How did he find me?, she thought to herself.

I stood there, paralyzed, like a rodent trapped in the eyes of a snake. After months of searching, there she was, right in front of me. I was so surprised by the sudden revelation that I could not force myself to move. My body quaked with rage and my fists clenched at my sides. I narrowed my eyes, glaring at her as a low growl built in my chest.

We stood there for a long moment, each as surprised as the other at this sudden meeting. She studied me intently, her stance rigid and defensive. Fire burned in her eyes, matching the fury in my own.

Her eyes widened and, without warning, she leapt into the air and scaled the brick wall with lightening speed. Almost dazed, I looked above me and followed. She sprinted across the rooftops, the moonlight glinting off her white figure.

The desperation within me continued to build as I chased after her. Her thoughts were clouded as she darted from rooftop to rooftop. Her speed was nearly matched by my own, but her moves were unpredictable and erratic. She was careful to shield her thoughts. Had she known of my ability? Did she perhaps have an ability of her own?

Abruptly, she dropped from sight. Leaping to the ledge, I saw her sprint through the alley below. I jumped down to follow. I slowed my pace slightly as a crowd of humans approached. I heard a scream up ahead.

"Help, please! He's after me!"

Shock and rage filled me. She was crying out for help. Two large men stepped out of the crowd to block my way.

"Excuse me!" I growled.

One man put his hand out to caution me. "You stop right there. Turn around and walk away and we won't involve the police."

I tried to push my way past the men that blocked me, but they stood firmly. Their faces were filled with contempt. Worried onlookers glanced to see where Victoria had run to and back to the confrontation before them.

The sky turned red as the anger washed over me. The desire to continue to chase after her was great, but the need to keep the secret was greater. I could not risk exposure, even if it meant catching Victoria.

Throwing my hands up in the air, I turned and walked away. Whispers from the crowd floated through the air as their eyes followed me. Once out of sight, I began running again. I leapt to the nearest rooftop and scanned the streets below. There was no sign of her.

I bounded over the rooftops, searching aimlessly, but could not find her. Panic gripped me as I realized that I may have lost her. I came so close tonight, how could I have let her slip away?

I concentrated on her thoughts, on her scent, but there was nothing. Furious, my hands tore at my hair. I sank to my knees as a feral scream ripped from my chest.