Chapter 10

CPOV

I've been at home in Seattle for the last two weeks since Charlotte's birthday. I am so ecstatic that Ana is giving us another chance and I'm going to do everything in my power to not screw it up and make the both of them happy. However it was almost over before my second chance began.

The party had wound down; only my parents and Ray were left at the house helping clean up. I was fuming at Ray's interference, at him telling Ana about what happened to that poor girl and basically pointing the finger at me so I politely asked to speak to him. We walked out to the front of the house away from the others so as to not be overheard. His hatred makes so much more sense now as well as the things he said me over that long ago phone call.

In no uncertain terms I told him that I didn't appreciate him trying to cause problems where there were none. Ana is a grown woman and can make her own decisions. I also let him know that my daughter's birthday party was not the appropriate place to open his mouth and that he should have come to me. I set him straight on a lot of things he assumed about me and told him to butt out from now on. I don't know what I was expecting from him, he gave me nothing in return, I'm sure Ana will have her own conversation with him about this. He looked me up and down with his hands on his hips, told me to tell Ana he had to go then left. As a father I can understand him wanting to protect his daughter, but he doesn't need to worry about me hurting her again. Only time will prove that to him.

When I walked back inside Ana was waiting for me, my phone in her hand looking troubled.

"Here. I'm sorry but Charlotte heard it ringing in the kitchen where you left it and answered it. It was a Melinda with a British accent asking you to call her back." She informs me handing it over.

Fuck!

"Thanks."

"Who is she? She seemed very insistent to speak with you."

"No one. Don't worry about it."

Wrong thing to say Grey, I can see her spine stiffen and the anger in her eyes.

"You said no more secrets, Christian. Are you hiding something?"

"No! Ana, I promise it's nothing at all. Please trust me."

"Really?" She scoffs crossing her arms over her chest, cocking her head to the side.

"Dumb thing to say I know and we still have things to talk about but I swear Ana I'm not going to keep important things from you from now on."

"Don't make me regret this already, Christian. You only get this one chance." She snaps at me walking away.

A couple of days after Charlotte's birthday I received a Google alert on my phone. I clicked on the link to see a photo of Ana and I holding each other on the beach. Some asshole must have recognised me and snapped it. I'm grateful it was just the two of us and not on a day where Charlie was with us. That would have been a shit storm. The caption read 'Seattle's Bachelor Seen Embracing Ex'. At least our location wasn't given away so thank goodness for small mercies I guess. I had to inform Ana about it in case any media came lurking her way. She expected something to come out eventually about the two of us but not so soon, her goal is to keep Charlotte, for lack of a better word, hidden as long as possible which I totally agree with.

I'm heading back down there next week to take Ana out. I'm having so much trouble organising this date. I'm so nervous, I need it to be both fun and perfect, something to show her how serious I am on working this out. Mia has been no help with any ideas so I may have to call my mother but that will be a last resort.

I'm seated behind my desk at GEH, it's very early in the morning, the building is still practically empty except for a few employees and security. I need to finish going over some new contracts before seeing Ros later today to give her my decisions on them. It's far too quiet at home, the apartment is empty and dull, every time I close my eyes to sleep I picture Ana and Charlotte and wonder what they're doing.

My mobile rings, picking it up I see it's Ana calling me.

"Ana?" I cheerfully answer.

"Daddy!"

As soon as I hear her tiny distressed voice my entire body is on alert.

"Charlotte, what's wrong sweetheart?"

She's crying and I can hardly understand her.

"Slow down princess, what's the matter, where's mummy?"

I hear her staggered breathing as she attempts to explain it to me.

"Mummy fell down in the kitchen and she won't get up. Daddy I'm scared."

Fuck, Ana! What the hell has happened, has she just fainted or is it something else. Now I'm afraid too.

"Okay, don't be scared, you're my brave girl. Where's nana, did you try calling her?"

"Grandma's not here she went away for a holiday. Daddy…" She continues to sob over the phone. I'm freaking out and so far away.

What do I do? This is why I should be there or better yet they should be here, at home where they belong. Ryan is still in Georgia but he's a stranger to her, she won't go with him and be comfortable. O'Donnell, she knows him, I'll have to call him I have no other choice.

"Listen to daddy, can you see mummy's chest moving up and down?"

I hear a whole heap of shuffling before she comes back.

"Yes."

I let out the breath I didn't realise I was holding.

"I'm going to call an ambulance so the doctors can come and take mummy to the hospital to help her and you know mummy's boss Mr James?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I'm going to call him as well to come over to the house to get you and take you to the hospital to be with mummy. He'll take care of you until I get there. I'm on my way sweetheart. I'll be there as soon as I can. Is mummy bleeding anywhere?"

"No, she's just not moving. What if she doesn't wake up?"

"She'll wake up, don't you worry about that, mummy is strong and would never leave you. Can you sing me a song while we wait for the ambulance? Please. I want to hear your beautiful voice, sing me your favourite song at the moment."

I pick up my landline while I have Charlie on the mobile calling an ambulance to go over to the house. I give them the address and as much detail as I can about Ana and tell them that my five year old daughter is there alone with her. Next I call Ana's boss.

"Hello?"

"Mr O'Donnell, this is Christian Grey."

"Mr Grey. This is a surprise, what can I do for you?"

"Listen, I don't have a lot of time to explain but I need you to go over to Ana's house. Something's happened and Charlotte called me all in a panic. Ana's fallen in the kitchen and I think she's unconscious, I've called an ambulance but she's alone and afraid. She knows you, can you please go over there and take care of her, take her along to the hospital until I arrive."

"Of course. I'll be there as soon as I can. But if you don't mind me asking, why exactly did Charlotte call you?"

I take a deep breath and tell him the truth.

"I'm Charlotte's father. It's a long story but there you have it."

"I see. Well then, Mr Grey, we'll be waiting for you. Don't worry, I'll look after her."

"Thank you."

I hang up and get back to Charlotte singing along with her as I run out of my office to Taylor who is sitting in the security room. He sees me in a panic and stands up, I gesture for him to follow me which he does without question.

"Charlotte I'm on my way, I'm going to go get on a plane right now and I will be there before you know it. Mr O'Donnell is on his way so open the door for him when he gets there okay."

"Okay daddy. Please hurry."

"I love you, Charlotte, so much, everything is going to be just fine. I need to hang up now so I can go get on the plane."

"Okay, daddy." She hiccups.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! I feel like punching something.

"Get to the airport as fast as you can, Taylor I don't care how many cameras catch us speeding."

There is no way the jet will be ready to leave so soon so my best bet will be a commercial flight. I only hope there's one leaving soon.

I jump out of the car and run through the airport to the counter. Luck is on my side with a flight due to leave in forty minutes time. I beg them to let me on, I have no luggage and it won't delay the flight. They can see the worry and panic on my face and kindly give me the ticket telling me to hurry to the gate. I'm recognisable to most people in the city and no security risk.

The entire flight over all I can picture is Ana lying on the kitchen floor and Charlotte crying over her, not knowing what's going on or what to do. Just like me and my mother. I remember sitting buy here cold body and the fear of not knowing what was wrong with her, the hunger and worry. No I won't think like that. This is not the same fucked up situation.

What caused her to collapse? All I have are questions, the only thing I know for certain is that they belong with me. I'm bringing them home somehow.

Landing in Savannah I grab the first taxi I see and rush over to the hospital. I called Ryan earlier to follow the ambulance to the hospital, I call him again to let him know I've landed and am on my way there. He lets me know where he is situated and that he has eyes on Charlotte.

I run inside and see O'Donnell and Charlotte seated in a couple of those uncomfortable blue plastic seats along the wall.

"DADDY!" She shouts when she sees me and runs full force into my arms.

I gather her up to me, tightly holding onto her, my heart beginning to calm down now that I'm here and she's in my arms. Her little body wracked with sobs as she cries into my shoulder.

"I'm here baby girl, I'm here. Let's go find mummy." I whisper in her ear while rubbing her back.

I walk up to James and shake his hand.

"Thank you, I don't know how I can repay you for helping me out."

"Don't mention it, there's no need. I'm glad you called me. We've just had some lunch in the cafeteria so she shouldn't be hungry. My wife was here with our girls earlier to try and distract her for a while. She's been upset but very brave." I nod at him in understanding.

"Where's Ana?"

He directs me to the floor she's on and Charlie and I take the elevator up and to the nurse's station asking about her. I'm given her room number and run over. I need to see her with my own eyes. I need to know she's okay. I step into her room and see she's asleep or I think she's asleep. I walk closer to her bed. She is laying on her right side looking so pale with a drip attached to her hand. I take her hand in mine feeling its warmth.

"See, Charlie. Mummy is fine just sleeping."

I don't know which of the two of us I'm trying to reassure more.

I feel Charlotte grow heavy on me meaning she has fallen asleep. Poor thing must have crashed from all the stress and fear of the situation. I make my way over to the small couch in the room and lay her down covering her with a blanket. I kiss the curls on her head and go back over to Ana's side, sitting on the chair beside her bed I take her hand again and cry, letting out all the emotions of the past few hours. I had no idea what I was going to find when I got here.

Damn it Anastasia.

I hear a doctor walk in so I quickly wipe my face and stand up.

"Doctor, how is she. What's wrong with her?" I begin questioning him.

"She's going to be fine. It's a bout of pneumonia. She just needs antibiotics and bed rest. I imagine she was pushing herself too much which caused her to get very weak and faint. I'd like to keep her here for a couple of days before releasing her to go home. For now let her sleep until she wakes."

Pneumonia? I didn't even know she was that sick, why didn't she mention anything, she told me it was just a slight cough and cold from getting wet on the beach that day.

"Thank you, doctor."

He checks her chart and monitors before leaving.

Looking at her still form in the bed it could have been so much worse and she'd never know how I truly feel so I start speaking, needing to let it all out, I've been holding onto it for far too long.

"I don't know if you can hear me but I'm sorry, Ana. More than you will ever know but I need to tell you something. I promise to have this conversation again with you when you're awake but I can't hold it in anymore. I haven't been able to find a good time to tell you this and I've been afraid to open up. You may have thought I didn't care or think about you all these years but I did. The truth is you were the only thing that kept me going.

"The biggest mistake and regret of my life was losing you and in turn Charlotte. I have wished a hundred times to be able to go back to that moment and do it differently. I love you, Anastasia. I love our daughter.

"I would have been here a long time ago if it wasn't for my accident. You wanted to know why it took me so long to come to you. I was hit by a truck.

"It's been over two years ago now but, I wanted to come to you sooner and I tried. The day I found out that my vasectomy had reversed itself and realised my colossal fuck up when it came to you I was devastated. I was going to find you and beg for your forgiveness but then I had an emergency at the London office. I tried everything to get of not going but I had no other choice. I was going to fly there, sort it out quickly and come to you. After my last meeting I called Ray. It didn't go well as you can imagine. I was upset and drinking, I wasn't thinking clearly and rushed out of the hotel building I was staying in. I wanted to get on a plane. I was on my way to you and our daughter, I was going to find you and come to you, but fate wasn't on my side, I wasn't watching where I was going and got run over.

"I stayed in London to hide and have treatment. I was too proud to show any weakness to anybody. Only two people knew what happened to me, Ros and Taylor. Ros kept GEH going, I helped her whenever I could but I owe her so much I could never repay her. I had to have surgery and rehabilitation therapy. I was in a wheelchair for over a year. I didn't know if I was ever going to walk again, I was scared, Ana but at the same time refused to let you or anyone see me in that condition. I know I was foolish and selfish. Eventually I had to learn all over again how to use my body. I paid a whole lot of money to keep it out of the papers over there. My family don't know I've kept it hidden from them as well, they just assumed I didn't want to come home and deal with everything.

"Melinda, the lady who called me is my physiotherapist. She was calling to check up on me and see how I was feeling and if I was continuing my exercises because of the metal rods in my spine."

I place my head on the bed and close my eyes, gripping her hand even tighter after kissing her knuckles.

"You and Charlotte mean the world to me. You're not ever getting rid of me. My life has been hell without you. You are my other half, my better half."

London

I hate this waiting. Waiting to get home, waiting to see and talk to Ana, waiting to meet my child. I have felt on edge the entire time I've been in this city. I am so ready to leave London behind. Would she be willing to listen to me if I just called to talk to her on the phone and explain myself, except I don't have her number and no way to contact her. I know my brother won't help me if I bothered to call him.

I need to do something. This waiting is making me nuts. I need to start on fixing things. We've lost so much time because of my stupidity.

I am so desperate that I call Ray hoping he still has the same phone number. If anyone knows where Ana is it will be him. I'm not holding my breath that he won't just hang up on me but I need to try.

"Hello." His gruff voice comes on the line.

"Is this Ray Steele?"

"Yeah, who's this?"

I inhale and exhale before making myself known.

"This is Christian Grey."

"What he fuck do you want?" He shouts, automatically becoming irate.

"I was wanting to speak with Anastasia. You have every right to hate me but I was hoping you could give me her phone number so I could contact her." I'm sweating like a nervous teenager.

"Haven't you done enough? No way. I take it you make a habit out of getting girls pregnant and abandoning them."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Ray please I need to speak to her, it's important, I need to tell her I was wrong."

"There is no way in hell I'm helping you, stay away from my daughter."

With that he hangs up on me. Great!

XXXXX

I've spent the last hour drinking, staring at a blank wall in my hotel room, running through every mistake I have ever made in my life. I have no one. I now understand what it truly means to be alone. All this time I thought that was what I wanted, to be left alone but it's not.

I can't sit here anymore I need to get home. I'll have one of my guys track her down by the time I get back. I get up and start packing my bag slightly swaying. I must have had more to drink than I realised. I see the ticket stub from the drycleaner across the road on my bedside. Shit I forgot all about it. I need to go collect it, I still have time before they close. I could have just as easily left it with the hotel to launder but I pay them enough money as it is and I prefer to support small local businesses when I can.

I leave the hotel, the alcohol really setting in now and blurring my vision. I'm looking at my phone preparing to call Welch to track Ana down when I become distracted by the only photo I have kept of Anastasia on my screen. I'm coming baby.

I don't pay attention to where I'm stepping until I hear the high pitched sound of car horns blowing and the screech of tyres. I lift my head to see headlights coming straight for me. I have no time to move out of the way. The impact flings me at least ten metres away before hitting the pavement.

I land with the sound of bones breaking in my ears, people screaming and the familiar voice of Taylor calling out my name.

"Mr Grey! CHRISTIAN!"

That is the last thing I hear before my world goes black.

XXXXX

I wake up in the hospital. Everything is fuzzy. What the hell happened? I try to sit myself up but can't.

I attempt to look down at my body and notice the neck brace I have on preventing me doing so. I start to panic because I can't move, in fact I cannot feel my legs at all. Oh my god I can't move. No, no, no. This is not happening to me. NO! I scream out for a doctor.

One finally enters my room with a clipboard, wearing an ugly green coloured coat. He looks too young to even be a doctor.

"Mr Grey. Good to see you awake."

"What's wrong with me, why can't I move?" I demand.

"Do you remember being in an accident?" He asks while shining his fucking little pen light in my eyes blinding me.

I think back to where I was before waking up here and recall the car lights heading towards me.

"I think I was hit by a car."

"Correct. You were brought in about 3 hours ago. Initial tests show an injury and damage to your thoracic spinal cord which essentially means the middle of the spine. We have you on a drip for the pain and you may experience headaches.

"We need you to stay as still as possible which is why you have the collar on your neck to minimise any more damage. In the meantime we need to wait for swelling to go down so we can perform further scans and see what we're dealing with, regardless though you will require surgery to repair the damage to your spine."

"I can't feel my legs. Will I walk again?" That's all I really want to know.

He goes to stand at the edge of the bed, lifting the covers off my feet then pushing a metal prong against them touching the skin of my soles and lower legs.

"Can you feel that?"

I will myself to sense something but it's no use.

"No, nothing." I tell him.

"It's too early to make a call like that at this time but it's not impossible. We must take this day by day. I'm going to get a neurosurgeon to come in and talk to you shortly."

XXXXX

I've been in this hospital for a week so far and I'm climbing the walls. I can't take it. I refuse to speak to anyone except Taylor and that turned into an argument. He keeps bothering me, insisting he calls and informs my family of what happened but I refuse to let him.

"This is my decision. I don't need them here fussing. Do you understand me Taylor? They are not to know. You work for me and follow my orders."

I am so frustrated with the doctors, not that it's their fault but I need someone to take my anger out on. They are telling me nothing good or new, only that these things take time and I'm lucky that it's not worse. How the fuck could it have been worse, I can't fucking walk. I'm confined to a fucking hospital bed.

I cannot even use the bathroom and need to have a bag attached to my bladder. It's humiliating.

Ana…I can't go to her now. I'm stuck here. I'm so sorry Ana.

XXXXX

Taylor has been flying out here once a month. He found me a place to live once I was finally discharged from the hospital, ensured I had the appropriate nurses on hand and a local CPO with me. All I do between my rehabilitation sessions is read emails which Ros sends to keep me in the loop and attend the odd conference call. Depression has set in, however I refuse to take any sort of medication for it, I will not be that person who relies on drugs to make themselves feel better. I push myself to get up and move when nobody is around with very little success so far but there is hope.

I had to have two surgeries to my back and have metal rods placed in me. Since I was allowed out of the hospital I attend physical rehabilitation three times a week. A couple months ago I got a tingling sensation in my right foot. I cannot describe the excitement I experienced in that moment. I know it is only a small improvement and it's slow going but it's something and I'm not giving up.

I've had my parents on my back about going home, saying they miss me. Each call ends with me being a major prick and coming up with another excuse as to why I need to stay here.

This will not beat me. No matter how long it takes, I'm getting my life and girl back.

A/N: Thank you to everyone reading, reviewing and following this story.

I realised that I forgot all about Christmas in the story so I've gone back to change their wedding date from July to June.