December 19, 1982

Mom has been locked in her room for two days and Cindy and I are starting to worry. She comes out to get glasses of water and sometimes a piece of bread or something small, and to go to the bathroom, but that's it. She looks terrible. I'm starting to get concerned about her mental health.

School's out until the second, thank God for winter vacation. Unfortunately that means I probably won't see much of Maureen for awhile, or sticker-boy, or Collins who I'm starting to grow fond of. He's helpful, even if it's not the traditional "counselor" way. He hardly acts like he's a counselor. Once, he helped me calculate whether or not I was getting a good deal on prices for pot. He's chill and I'll miss him.

Sticker-boy agreed to hang out with me and smoke! It was SO awkward at first, because Stephen didn't show and it ended up just being me and him in the recreation center in the corner. We broke in, obviously, so no one was around, and it was sort of dim. But whatever. We passed the shit back and forth for awhile while I just rambled at him. It's easier to ramble when there's pot involved.

Eventually he actually started talking back and even laughing and smiling a little. So, yeah, I got kind of excited and... remember how I'm a slutty drunk? I'm sort of the same when I'm high...

I mean, all I did was say, "Hey, you wanna mess around?" but... thinking back that sounds REALLY whore-ish. Well. At least he didn't say no. He just kind of stared at me, and I was high enough not to feel very insecure so I just smiled sort of cockily and leaned towards him on my hands and knees and he jumped me!

It was fucking amazing. We were making out and groping and I swear, I came at least twice, once dry humping- which I'm sort of ashamed of- and once with his hand down my pants. GOD. That's... the first time I've ever had someone touch me there. Nngh. He's an amazing fucking kisser. Now that I think about it, he's gotta be way more experienced than me at all this. I loved being underneath him...

Everything is a little hazy, but I remember when he had to go home he sort of blushed and said "bye, Mark" before scramming. Maybe there's hope after all.

Maybe... Maybe I should get him a Christmas present?

I'm still wondering how he got my address. If I find out, I could maybe get his.

Or I could just ask him.

~ Mark