Hmmm disappointed, I am young grasshoppers! I gunna need some more reviews to get me motivated ne? But, out of the kindess of my heart (and the fact that I am bored out of my friggen skull and have run out of Stargate episodes on the DVR, I will write you another chapter. I wanna see that number reach 50 got me? =P Its not that much anyways~ What 4 or 5 more psh, I believe in you guys! Anyways please enjoy this, I'm gunna jump back in time a little to show you guys how worked up our little Shizuo got okay? ALRIGHTY THEN!

Chapter 11: Shizuo's P.O.V

The man curled up, a light bead of sweat graced my cheek as his eyes squeezed shut. I watched him for a moment until all tension built up in his face was relieved, and time seemed to stop for a moment.

"IZAYA!" I called to him, jumping up frantically. His consciousness was taken from him, and replaced by shallow breathing and silence.

His flushed face seemed to contort, unpleasant dreams most likely embedded in his mind.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do, I can't lose him now, not fucking now," I breathed in sharply, my top priority was to take care of the fragile man before me.

I carefully scooped him up into my arms and headed down the hall into the living room, where I sat him on the couch, seeing no change in his current condition. I laid a hand on his head, yelling out in frustration as I pulled it back, for it could be compared to that of a boiling tea kettle.

After taking care of my younger brother for years my parental instinct kicked into action as ran into the kitchen pantry, searching for the small little box that held medications and other items. Finding the small little plastic thermometer, I thrust it into the younger's mouth and looked through the box until I heard the thing beep.

"What the fuck is that even possible?" I said quietly to myself, reading 40.C. I quickly searched through the box again and pulled out a small white bottle that I often used for fevers and colds and read the back.

"Okay, two of these now, two now, two now…" I kept saying to myself as I walked into the kitchen searching for some sort of glass to place a beverage in. Opting out for a mug I filled it with water and walked back into the room where he remained unchanged.

I lifted his head up and tilted it backwards, placing a pill on his tongue and pouring in water, closing his jaw to keep it in. He didn't make any move to swallow it, so I decided to rub the middle of his throat until it shifted underneath my hand, followed by a chill washing over the thin flesh. I repeated the gesture and checked to see that both pills were gone.

I now sighed and got up slowly, placing the items back into the box and placing it off to the side. It was only 7:00 in the morning, and too early to be dealing with death.

I rounded the side of the couch to check on the man's head. It still looked irritated and sore at that. I decided to clean that as well, taking into consideration that it could be stalling the healing time.

I looked at him again as I finished tending to his head, his brows were furrowed together and beads of sweat were taking refuge on his forehead. I decided to walk back out into the kitchen and grab a cloth. I soaked it in cold water and rung it out sum. I placed it onto his head and sat on the coffee table, searching his face for anything, but only found the same pained flushed expression.

What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck. You've got to be kidding me with this. Isn't it bad enough that he has to deal with a load of other shit on his own but no, now he has to deal with this crap too. Jesus, I thought I was about to lose him. His face.. the way it looked when he smiled last night. Tears and all streaming down his pale skin. He was in a state of pure tragedy and yet he managed to offer a smile. The most beautiful, modest smile I've ever seen.. If I could never see that smile again..

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I snapped back to reality and pulled out the buzzing piece of plastic from my jacket. I stared at the caller I.D pleased to see my brother's name flashing across it.

"Hello?"

"Hello onii-chan," his monotone voice came through the receiver.

"Hey Kasuka how have you been? Finally have a free moment heh?" I said, trying to sound as calm as possible.

"I'm fine but what's wrong with you? You don't sound happy," he asked.

"Oh, um, I have a friend over, and yeah, he's well, on the bad side of things and, it's just," I stopped for a moment, choking a bit trying not to let my younger brother hear me so upset.

"Onii-chan is this man special to you?" He asked again, the buzz of his voice through the receiver making me pay attention.

"Umm, well yeah, kinda, but it's.. I mean I don't,"

"I understand. But it doesn't matter who you decide to love. If that person makes you happy, no matter what gender, then that should be the person that you should spend your time with. It would not change anything," he said, his voice would seem unfazed to most but I could tell just how sincere and soft it was.

"Thanks Kasuka," I said softly, a light tear rolling down my face.

"Brother, might I ask if this man were Orihara, Izaya?"

"Damn, is it that obvious?" I asked, genuinely surprised.

"No, not at all. It just seems that you two have always shared a strange bond that could be seen as beyond hate," he said, it seemed like he was nodding

"I guess you could say that… well anyways thanks for supporting me Kasuka… It really means a lot," I sighed.

"Always, brother. I have to go, but I will call you later if you are not busy. I hope that all goes well with Orihara-san," he said again.

"Thanks Kasuka, bye,"

I clicked the phone shut and looked at Izaya, there were still beads of sweat rolling down his face, and it worried me, for I wasn't exactly sure what to do. The clock read 8 now as I walked back into the next room grabbing a piece of bread and a bottle of milk from the fridge. I nibbled on it for a moment, attentively watching the ravenette from where I was. I washed down the dry bread with the milk and wiped the build up above my top lip. It was hard to watch Izaya in such a state.

Every time I close my eyes I can just see his small figure being brutally abused by some scumbag from the street. The way he curled up in a fetal position, the way his eyes squeezed shut… last night, the way his voice rang through the air, piercing it as it elevated. All the same as the way someone screams when they see death.

It reminds me of that one day I lost control when I saw him, they way his eyes seemed to register the object coming towards him, the way it crashed into him. The feeling was sickening, not that of victory, but one of shame. There was nothing to be gained, and as e fell, his fur-trimmed coat came up around him, encasing him in a free fall of darkness before he met the pavement. I thought I would be happy, but it wasn't so.

I felt the urge to run towards him, but I ran, just ran. I couldn't figure out why I felt so bad in the first place, I mean I wanted to kill him right? But I could never be so wrong. His breath knocked out of him.. His eyes squeezing shut in the same way, it was all wrong. And yet, I never made a change in behavior, no I was a dumbass, letting anger control everything that I did, and that got me no where. And yet, every day I felt the same guilt eating at me, the same pressure building up. I knew that this wasn't hate, but I didn't do a damn thing.

But I know that I can change this. I want to be able to be by his side and be there for something greater than friendship. I want to be able to smile like he did before, and be able to sleep through the night without terror seizing him, I want to see him have a future that doesn't involve the same darkness that has captivated him his entire life. Before, I would have brushed this aside. Before, I would have walked from this, and let nature take its course and let him be guided on his own path of hell.

This time, its gunna be different. I'm going to be the person he needs me to be. To be by his side, to light up his shadows, to be the one that never lets him fall again, never again.

Okay guys that's it for this chapter. It took some time but I'm pretty happy with it Hope you guys liked it and coolio for me cause I got an Izaya jacket YAY! *hugs jacket* Yeah, Oh, That whole event that Shizuo was talking about doesn't portray to the anime or manga, well not purposely if so, either way its just a made up scene to add to Shizuo's sob story. Also, that 40. C it's 104. F for you guys who don't want to look it up, so yeah, it's a tad high ^^. And Im not sure if that's what Kasuka would normally call his big brother but oh well, my story. I do want you guys to make it to 50 reviews before I post again okay? Hey, maybe 49 will cut it if I feel up to it, But I need the motivation just like your cat needs a cheeseburger.

SO DO US ALL A FAVOR AND FEED THAT CAT AND SCORE ME SOME REVIEWS!

Happy Reading,

~Eri-chan