Chapter 11 – Pain

BPOV

The week passed with Emmett and I living together, settling into a routine. He had me home by 6:00 every night to have dinner with Charlie. Some nights Charlie wasn't able to come home for dinner and I would eat while Emmett watched TV in the other room. I always left a note though, just so Charlie knew I had come home as promised. Alice called frequently and checked in with all three of us, making Charlie feel extra special that he was part of the phone call rotation. Emmett hunted while I was at school every day and he picked me up each afternoon in fresh clothes. I'd finally managed to stop caring about the gossip around the school. On Tuesday Emmett had been waiting at his Jeep and picked me up in a giant bear hug before putting me in the car, stirring even more gossip.

We talked for hours each night, until finally my body betrayed me and I fell asleep. More than once I had fallen asleep with my head in his lap, a pillow cushioning my head from his granite-like legs. We'd laugh and joke, talking about Emmett's dreams and the things he had done in his many years.

Friday night, when I had fallen asleep lying on the couch watching him play video games, I heard his phone ring, but tried to ignore it for the sake of sleep. He answered quickly and talked quietly enough that I couldn't make out his words. Until suddenly his voice rose in what was still a whisper, but an agitated one. I opened my eyes and saw him sitting on the floor in front of the couch with his game paused. His back was tense and every now and then I saw him flex his fist as he spoke.

"Rosie, I told you, I'm staying here. She's our sister whether you like it or not. We have to protect her. I asked you to come be with me, but you won't do it. Why is that my fault? This was our home for years, so why is it suddenly not good enough for you?" Emmett paused and I tried to focus on my breathing so he wouldn't know I was awake yet.

Suddenly his voice grew louder again. "Don't do this, Rosalie. I'm your husband, whether it's legal or not. You made the decision to leave long before I did. I hunted alone for months while you vanished each night. I refuse to accept the blame for this. I asked, damn near fucking begged, you to come back to me and you never did. If this is your decision, then make it and live with the consequences, wife."

My heart pounded softly in my chest and I expected Emmett to turn and look at me, but apparently his argument with Rosalie had his full attention.

"Rose!" He hissed into phone and his voice dropped again. "Please, don't do this."

The seconds clicked by and I watched Emmett as he stayed still, sitting in the same position. Finally, his hand fell away from his ear and he dropped the phone on the carpet with a soft thud. His hands moved to the sides of his head and he gripped his hair, his body trembling with the force of his grasp, or perhaps the force of his emotions. I sat up then and lowered myself on the floor behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist as I laid my head on his back. He tensed, but didn't push me away. His body continued shaking, even as I tried to calm him, rubbing his arm softly. "Em…" I gasped and fell back against the couch when I heard, and felt, an earth shattering scream rise in his throat. He threw his head back and screamed with frustration, agony, and loss.

When his scream died away, I remained frozen on my knees, leaning against the couch. I had never in my life heard anything as terrifying or heartbreaking. I couldn't even bring myself to reach out and touch him as my heart pounded wildly and goose bumps broke out on my arms and legs. Emmett collapsed forward, hunched over in his sitting position. His body no longer shook and he stayed impossibly still. I forced myself to move then, unfolding my legs from under my body. I stood and walked around him so I was standing in front of him. He didn't acknowledge my presence as I knelt in front of him. I put my hand under his chin and pushed it up, or tried to anyway. Nothing happened so I tried again, adding softly, "Em…" He raised his head slowly and opened his eyes to look at me. His eyes were dark and I gasped seeing the pain that danced in them. It made my heart break just looking at him. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his neck, moving forward until I was sitting on his legs. Eventually his arms slid around me and he rested his head on my shoulder.

We must have stayed like that for an hour or more until my body once again betrayed me and I shivered softly in his arms. At once his head snapped up and he looked at me, his golden eyes a bit less dark now. "Come on, Bells. Time for bed," he whispered softly. He picked me up and almost instantly we were in my room as he laid me on the bed. I pulled the blanket up over my body in an attempt to regulate my body temperature again and I watched as he moved to the door. "I need to run for awhile Bella. Maybe I'll hunt a little. I'll be back in a few hours and I'll be here when you wake up." I nodded and smiled warmly, trying to get a smile out of him. Instead he turned to the door and reached for the light. Before turning it off though, he turned back to me with an expression of tortured sorrow. "I'm sorry for what he did to you, Bella. I understand now." He clicked off the light and was gone before I could reply.

EPOV

I reached into my pocket as I neared the edge of the forest. My phone flashed brightly and I opened it to see a text from Alice. "I'm sorry, Emmett" it read simply. I closed the phone and put it back into my pocket, staring into the night. Rosalie had made her decision and Alice wasn't offering words of comfort and reassurance, meaning only that the decision was solid and would not change. Briefly I wondered what Rosalie thought Aro could offer her. He couldn't give her back her mortality; He couldn't offer her a gift like the rest of them had. Her gift was her beauty. I fell to my knees as her face flashed before my eyes, her eyes sparkled as she laughed and winked at me, as she had done so many times before. I closed my eyes tightly, forcing the sight away. I had known for a long time that Rosalie and I weren't working anymore, but hearing her tell me she didn't love me was more than I could take. I loved her, even if things had changed and our love wasn't perfect. She was my mate and I couldn't imagine living an eternity without her. How was I supposed to do that?

I looked up at the night sky and saw the stars twinkling brightly. I had never felt this lost and confused in my life. Even when I was changed and awoke for the first time, I had a sense of who I was. But without Rosalie, what was I? My ears twitched and I heard Bella press her palms against the glass of the window behind me. I turned slowly and looked up at her, seeing tears streaming down her face. Were those tears for me or had I reminded her of what Edward did to her? Edward… I could kill him for the pain he caused her. I rose from my knees and watched as Bella slowly wiped her tears away, smiling down at me with reassurance in her eyes. I nodded and leapt from my spot, flying into the forest.

I hunted for hours, more for sport than to feed. Many times I let my prey go, moving on to the next sound in the distance. I needed to keep moving, keep myself occupied. I fed twice, once on a bear and once on an elk. Eventually I looked up at the stars and knew it was time to go back to the house to clean myself and be there when Bella woke up. I walked at a human's pace all the way back to the house, giving myself time to finish processing my raw emotions. My shower was long and seemed to help with the miserable feelings I was wrestling with. I walked into my room afterwards and sat down at the end of my bed, focusing on the patterns of the towel wrapped around my waist. Now more than ever, I wished I were capable of sleep. I wanted those hours of unconsciousness. Knowing it wasn't possible and longing for it would do no good, I stood up and went to my dresser to pull out fresh clothes.

A piece of paper torn from a notebook lay folded on top of my dresser. I picked it up slowly and unfolded it, letting my eyes run over the words several times. "I won't say that the pain will go away. It won't, you'll always feel it a little. But there are other women out there. And among them is the one that will see the man I see in you. Her love will be unwavering and true and I will be honored to call her my sister." I sat back on the bed again, still holding the note, Bella's handwriting small and tightly formed. It was hard to believe, even though I knew I'd said similar words to her. I just wasn't sure I'd ever feel that kind of love again. Still, I read the note again and again as I allowed the words to soak in, calming my nerves.

I got dressed and folded the note back up, putting it in my pocket. Just as I was beginning to go to Bella's room, I heard her whimpering. I rushed in and stood over her. Small beads of sweat dripped down her forehead and she twisted in the covers, her hands gripping the sheets tightly. I put my hand on her forehead in an attempt to soothe her and cool her skin. As I did she stopped writhing in the bed and her breathing began to calm again. I stayed there for a few more minutes before sitting in the chair beside the bed. Bella fell back into a deep, undisturbed sleep, and I realized that we were two deeply pained beings who needed one another in order to find a will to live. I briefly remembered the way she had comforted me in the living room when I had lost myself. She was warm and soft, and holding her calmed me beyond anything I could have imagined. I chuckled softly as I realized I had been pulled back from the edge of sanity by a human. A brave one, as I knew I must have scared her. I sighed deeply and settled into the chair, clearing my mind as I listened to Bella sleep.