This took longer to write than expected. I just thought Wayne's past needed to be addressed, since we knew more about Grace's.

BTW…Does ANYONE else think it's really lame that she got shot, and he tells her he loves her and she says "thanks'? WTF???? REALLY? Sorry for the mini rant there!

DISCLAIMER: I would say MUCH more than thanks if they were mine!

Choices Part 11

Oh, no. That worry line between his brows was back. Did he still doubt her feelings? What could be so terrible about his past that he would have those doubts? She sat on the sofa and tried to pull him down next to her.

Wayne knew if he sat next to her, inhaled that mix of her shampoo and Grace, he would lose his nerve. He hated telling her this, but she needed to understand it all. This was the biggest risk ever. It was the kind of thing that could make her get up and walk away, this time for good. He wasn't sure he would recover, but she had to know.

"Wayne?"

"Outside of the people directly involved, only the caseworker and the Valentines know this whole story. But I think you need to know"

"Whatever you want to tell me will be fine. I trust you."

Trust. Would she continue to trust after? The potential answer terrified him. He began to speak slowly, as if trying to piece together what had happened.

"I told you about my father. You saw those people, the Sinner Saints. Up until I was 13, that was my life. I rode with them on and off for most of that time. TV and movies always glamorize that life. If you were a kid, it was anything but. We were usually hungry, dirty and lived in dumps. Occasionally, we would get dropped with an older couple who didn't ride so much any more. They were ok, and at least then we got to go to school a little. Going to school was rough. We were always the outsiders. The other kids feared us and the teachers ignored us. We were always behind. I was tall, but not so filled out. I was at least bigger than the other kids in school, so I got left alone. I was lucky, I guess"

"You keep saying we. Do you mean the other kids from the gang?"

"No. I had a sister. She was just a little older. Her name….was Wendy. She was short, like my mother. She always looked younger than me. We were very close. All we had back then was each other. My parents weren't exactly the Brady Bunch type. Anyway, we did spend time with the other kids from the gang. But mostly, it was just her and me. My father was a leader and other kids were jealous"

"You never mentioned a sister?" Grace had a horrible feeling in her stomach at where this was going. Wayne's face had taken on that awful closed look he had been wearing for the last two months again. His eyes were darkened as he stared unseeing at the wall behind her.

"She died" The flat lifeless intonation in his voice told her those two words didn't even begin to tell the story. She tried to reach for him to comfort him. He wouldn't even make eye contact as he continued.

"She was only 14 when they got her pregnant. She wouldn't tell me which one did it. Frankly, it could have been any of them. We tried to make her look younger, hoping they wouldn't notice her. I was supposed to protect her. Watch out for her. Its how we worked. She made sure I got food and clothes and I watched out for her. I was supposed to protect her."

The anguish and self loathing in his eyes tore at Grace. Even after all these years, he still believed that as a child it was his job to protect his older sister. He still believed he had failed her. His overprotective nature toward women began to make sense.

"Wayne, do you want to tell me about the rest? You don't have to"

"I have to let you know. You have the right. I never really knew why she died. Whether she was too young, too small or that she lacked any real care when she was pregnant. She wouldn't even tell me until she was almost 5 months along. She was going to keep it, she told me. She and I would take care of this baby and love it right. She was only just turned 15. We had been riding a long time, that day, I remember. She had begged to be allowed to ride in a sidecar, but they all laughed at her. I wanted to kill them. When we finally stopped, she collapsed. I tried to help her stand, but when I did, there was all this blood. Someone took her to the hospital, but it was too late. I couldn't even go to her. They tied me on the back of a bike and got out of town. They didn't want to have to answer any questions."

Her sharp gasp pulled him back to the present. Wayne knew he had to finish the story before he would even look at her.

"When they stopped again, I went little nuts. I tried to…kill my father. I blamed him. I blamed the gang. Mostly, I blamed myself. I remember they laughed at me. Anyway, when you attack the leader of a gang like that, you better finish the job. The only reason I survived was that I was his son. But they worked me over pretty good. I left that night. When the local sheriff finally found me 2 days later, I was in pretty bad shape. I think it was why they didn't try to send me back. I looked like hell. I was 13, already six feet tall, and only weighed 135. The Valentine's saved my life. If I had only known there were people like that, who would care for a kid, I could have gotten Wendy out. I should have gotten her away."

"Wayne! Stop! You were a child! It was not your job to protect your sister. Your parents should have done that"

"Yeah, that's what people kept telling me. But unless you lived it, you couldn't know. We were all we had. I was bigger. I should have taken better care of her."

Grace couldn't take it anymore. She jumped up and pulled him into her arms. Her actions seemed to bring him back. She could see a suspicious shine in his eyes. After almost 20 years, he was still so badly hurt. He hugged her hard for one brief moment and then put her back on the sofa. He wanted to tell her it all. Just tell her this once.

"Do you remember when Jane took me to the park, and we watched those kids in the playground? I go to the park a lot. I didn't know he knew, but I do. When we were little, 7 or so, I remember being at a park like that. There was a little boy, about my age who got hurt. He fell off the swing I think. Right away, his mother came over to him. She ran, I remember being amazed that she ran to him. He was hurt pretty bad, I guess. His father came over fast too. He scooped the little boy up and kissed him and carried him out of the park, with the mother right with him. I had never seen anything like that before. I watched them all the way down the path, out of the park. I can remember thinking I wanted to be that boy. I watched them like most kids would watch a bakery window, with their nose pressed against the glass. My father caught me watching them and hit me pretty hard. 'Every time you think you can live like those people, remember this', and he hit me again. It was at that moment, I remember beginning to hate my father."

By this time, the tears were streaming silently down Grace's face. She cried for that little boy who should have had the love he deserved. She cried for the man who was still so frightened to be loved.

"Oh Wayne. No child should live like that"

He finally allowed himself to look at her. He steeled himself for the disgust at who he was and where came from. Wayne was sure she would want nothing to do with a man with this kind of past. What kind of father would he be? She should be walking out that door. She shocked him again. This time when she threw herself into his arms, she was determined not to be pushed out again. He was going to have all the love she could pour onto him.

"I don't want your pity. I want you to understand. When Jane said I had a brutal streak, that's where it came from. If you still want to be with me after knowing this…"

"Of course I do!"

"Let me finish. You need to understand this. The idea that you would be pregnant with my baby, and I would be on the other side of the country. Nope. Not happening. I plan to be here."

"OK Wayne" She reached up and took his face between her hands, forcing him to look at her. "But never doubt that I am worried for a heartbeat about your 'brutal streak', And damn Jane for making you worry about that. You are the gentlest soul I know. You are such a good man. It's the reason you were so hard to resist."

"Even after that hypnotic episode? What if I am like my father?"

"See this is the choice you get to make. You haven't been around your father for almost 20 years. Is there anything about him and that life you want today?"

"No!"

"Then you get to choose here, Wayne what do you want?"

Wayne knew he had been walking, hell, he had been running away from his past. He had been doing everything he could to be the polar opposite of his father and the gang life. But the idea that it was a part of him always frightened him.

"What I want? Really?"

"Yeah, really. You can choose here."

"Christ, Grace! Do you realize this is more than I ever expected in my life? I thought I would be alone. I want…I want to be like that father in the park. My kid never gets hurt and wonders if anyone gives a shit. He will know that his dad will be there, that he will be proud of him. I want to teach him how to steal third or tie a tie or fix a sink. I want him to go to school and know that home will be there everyday."

"Then that is exactly what you will have."

Wayne had maneuvered them to sit back on the sofa with Grace on his lap. He didn't think his legs would hold him anymore. He had just told her the worst about himself and who had been. Instead of disgust, she had asked him what he wanted and held him tight. It was a miracle. No, she was his miracle. She was still holding his face, but one hand was stroking it. Her cheeks were still streaked with the tears she had shed for him. Her goodness was a balm to his spirit. Screw the CBI; he was not letting her go. He tightened his arms around her, planning to kiss her and show her how much she meant when there was a knock at the door.

Sorry! More to come. Thanks for all the reviews. I can not believe how many people are following this. I would love to hear from you!