Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters

A/N 2/8/14: Well! I loved how many reviews I got for the last chapter! You guys are awesome! Well I seemed to get a lot of suggestions for the same thing over and over and I decided that if Hinata has a break down, then it's only fair that Naruto has one too. But I was a little annoyed that people thought the whole Sasuke-Naruto Hokage thing I added at the end became a focus point. No it's not a huge part of the story; it was just there to emphasize a point when it came to their rivalry. And also about the make out last chapter, yeah we've all given into our hormones before realizing that something was wrong. I've definitely been there which is why I put it into the story. ALSO THERE WILL BE NO SASUHINA OR ANY LOVE TRIANGLES! Well, there's nothing more to say other than the fact that yes, there will be self-harm. This is a fair warning. Anyway, back to the story!

Warning: A heartbreaking scene towards the end that may involve a kunai and/or razor blade.

Chapter 11: Gone

Hinata woke up with a massive headache. She ignored it. The pain in her head was nowhere near the pain in her heart. That wasn't something that tea or a pill could ever fix. But she had no one to blame but herself. She'd chosen to do what she did. She chose to break Naruto's heart, as well as her own.

Yes, she felt his heartbreak. The pain of breaking his heart was one that she had hoped to never find out. He'd gone his entire life without receiving any sort of love and she knew it. That was until she came along anyway. And now she had done what everyone else had done, telling him that she no longer wanted him. It wasn't true at all; she'd always want him no matter what he did.

And to make matters worse, he'd confessed his love and she'd chosen to break his heart instead of giving him what he wanted. She felt like the worst person on the planet. She just wanted to die.

'Maybe that would be for the best…'

'…What are you talking about?'

'If you were to die. That might be the best for all of them…'

'…Was this all to get me end up killing myself?'

'I'm doing you a favor. Look at how hopeless you are. It would be for the best Hinata, just think about it…'

'No I can't, I listened to you and now I feel like this…'

'It was the right thing to do…'

'…'

Hinata buried her face in the pillow. What time was it? Oh whatever, it's not like that mattered anymore anyway. She didn't care if a hundred years went by.

She heard a light tap at the door.

"Come in…" she whispered, pulling the covers over her to stay warm. She didn't know how she looked, and neither did she want someone else seeing her like this. If she looked the way she felt, she'd hide under the sheets for the rest of her life.

"There's someone here to see you, Hinata-sama," the gentle voice announced.

"Tell him I don't want to see him," she whispered, brokenly. She knew who was here, and she didn't have the strength to see him.

She then heard, "I'm sorry, but she doesn't wish to see you."

"Hn, well I'm not leaving until she agrees to see me…" Hinata froze. That was definitely not Naruto's voice.

"She doesn't want to…" she said again but Hinata threw the covers off of her and cut in.

"I'll see him," she announced.

The poor servant looked confused but when Hinata walked out, she nodded her head. Meanwhile Hinata was wondering why Sasuke of all people wanted to see her.

Sasuke inwardly cringed when he saw her. Her hair was all over the place, the dark circles under her eyes here prominent and her skin was paler than usual. Her eyes were extremely red. Saying that she looked terrible was an understatement.

She opened her mouth, "Sasuke?"

Sasuke didn't waste any time with introductions, "What did you say to him?"

Hinata bit her lip, she knew what he was talking about but decided to ask anyway, "What did I say to who?"

Sasuke gave her an annoyed look, "You know what I'm talking about."

Hinata sighed. Why was he here asking her that? He'd never bothered to say more than one word to her. He didn't even have a right to be here, on Hyuuga property. She turned her back to him,"Please leave, it's none of your concern."

As much as Sasuke hated to admit it, Naruto was still his best friend. He was his brother in every way but biological. Over the last few months, in addition to their ongoing rivalry, they had become somewhat protective of each other. Neither would ever admit it, but they knew it. It was this protectiveness that caused Sasuke to grab Hinata's wrist to keep her from walking away.

She spun around and looked at her wrist, which Sasuke was squeezing. She didn't take very kindly to that. "Sasuke, l—let go of me."

Sasuke scowled, "I never saw him so defeated like I did last night."

Hinata bit her tongue to keep the sob from escaping her throat, "Please Sasuke, just stop."

"No you need to hear this," Sasuke's grip on her wrist stayed as firm as ever.

Hinata gathered the courage to look in his face and scowled. Sasuke was slightly taken aback by it. He had never seen such a vicious expression on the girl's face. "No, Sasuke YOU listen! You were gone for more than 3 years! Do you know the pain he went through when he was unable to bring you back the first time? Even then he never gave up on you! But you have tried to kill him on several occasions! So you have no right to be hear lecturing me!"

Even Hinata was a shocked at the sound of her own yelling. She barely ever yelled or even said more than one sentence at a time. The only time she did that was…on the battlefield.

Sasuke looked unaffected by the whole thing, but secretly he felt more shame and guilt than he'd ever admit. Well now was a better time than ever to start atoning for it. "Yeah I know that I've hurt him a lot. And he'll never admit just how much, but I still see it. But you, what you did to him seemed so much worse."

Hinata gulped down a sob, "I couldn't have…"

"Naruto doesn't drink. Well, at least he didn't until last night. I saw him wandering the streets completely loaded last night. I've never seen him so…helpless," Sasuke described, trying not to let anger seep out.

As if it hadn't already been already, her already broken heart broke a little more. She wanted to break down, run to Naruto, throw her arms around him, and tell him that none of what she had said was true. Most of all she wanted to tell him just how much she loved him and wanted to promise him that she'd always want him no matter what. But she couldn't. No matter what, his safety came before everything else, and she was a danger to him.

"I didn't mean to…" Hinata choked up.

Sasuke scowled, "Is that really all you can say? You practically broke my best friend mentally. I don't know how you managed to accomplish that when no one else has ever been able to. I'm not an expert at this, but the dobe loves you. He really does."

Hinata shook her head, "You don't know anything. You have no idea what happened."

Sasuke's frown deepened, "Look I know all about making excuses to shut people out and let me tell you right now, it's a cursed road. It'll eat you inside out until there is nothing left of you. Don't do this to yourself. Look what it did to me."

Hinata frowned. The last thing she ever wanted was to be compared to Sasuke, formerly the one who had hurt Naruto the most. Now it was her. She had hurt him. But she had to. She loved him too much to let anything happen to him. "I—I had to…"

Sasuke arched an eyebrow, "Then tell him that."

Hinata closed her eyes, "I can't. He'll convince me to take him back. I can't do that, I just can't." The tears began forming in her eyes.

Sasuke groaned because he hated seeing women cry. It was either annoying as hell or just depressing. In this case, it was both. This girl never fell into the category of annoyance. Then again, she never really fell into any category; he never bothered to think of her. "You need to talk to him. I don't care for whatever excuse you have under your belt. You can't do this to him."

"What are you going to do?" Hinata half asked, half challenged.

Sasuke frowned, "I'll drag you to him if I have to. I'll drag you kicking and screaming if I must, but I'm not going to let you be the reason that Naruto loses his mind completely."

Hinata's eyes widened as she looked down at the ground and pressed her lips together. She couldn't see him, not after that. "I can't Sasuke. What if it gets worse if I see him? I can't do that to him."

"You put him in this state. I don't care what you have to do, but you need to get him out of it," Sasuke said, harshly.

'What do I do…?'

'Well you can't go with him! What happened to staying away from him?'

'But Naruto's suffering…'

'He'll get over it. If you love him as much as you say you do, then don't you even dare think of going.'

'But Sasuke…'

'Tell him then…tell him the reason. Tell him how dangerous it is to be close to you. Come on! Tell him.'

"I—I just can't. H—he'll get hurt," she whispered brokenly.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "You mean more than he is now? Trust me; I don't think that's possible at this point."

"But it's still possible for him to end up like nii-san," she whispered, blurting out her greatest fear.

'I was being sarcastic stupid girl!'

Of course she wasn't stupid enough to not get that the first time, but her eyes widened as she realized what she had just said. And unfortunately for her, Sasuke had heard her. The look of confusion washed over Sasuke's normally stoic face. It was almost humorous had it been any other revelation.

Sasuke, on the other hand, was only a little surprised. He had heard that Neji had passed before he had arrived on the battlefield. And having cheated death once, he knew just how scary the possibility was. But if she was thinking that breaking Naruto's heart to keep him from sharing a similar fate, she couldn't be more wrong. If anything, she was only speeding up the process.

"You think that you're helping him?" Sasuke asked incredulously.

Hinata nodded her head. And before she knew it or had time to react, she found herself being dragged out of the compound and on to the streets. She struggled, but Sasuke had an iron grip on her wrist. It was beginning to hurt.

"Sasuke, what are you doing? St—stop!" she begged, trying futilely to break free of his grasp.

Sasuke stopped walking, looked her in the eye and scowled. "Honestly, if you think that keeping him at a distance is going to keep him safe, then you are way off. You're only making it worse."

Hinata gritted her teeth, "It doesn't matter. You don't know how I feel. You don't know what I've been going through since I said those things to him. You don't think I know what I've put him through? When his heart broke, I felt it. When he left, I felt all the pain that he did. Do you think that if I had a choice, that I would have willingly put him through that?"

"You always have a choice!" Sasuke growled.

"W—why do you suddenly care so much? This is none of your concern," she said defensively.

"It is when it concerns my best friend," he reminded.

"Oh you've finally remembered the fact that he was your best friend?" Hinata practically spat in his face.

"We've been through this. Now you're going to talk to him," he growled, as he continued to drag her along…

Hinata continued to struggle as Sasuke pulled her along. Sasuke didn't show any sign of letting go any time soon. That was when Hinata realized that she could make him let go. She was a Hyuuga for heaven's sake! Sasuke was so busy focusing on reaching the destination that when he felt something jab his arm and his arm going numb, he was caught completely off guard. He grabbed his arm and looked at the girl. She had her Byakugan activated. Shit, he'd forgotten that she was a Hyuuga and therefore could see his points perfectly.

"Luckily, we have arrived," Sasuke muttered, motioning towards the building in front of them.

Hinata's mouth turned downwards as she looked up. He was right.

"I need to get going," she turned around but Sasuke grabbed her by the shoulder with his other hand and spun her around.

"Maybe my approach was wrong, but you need to talk to him. Last night he was drinking and wandering the streets at 1:30 in the morning. Life handed him a pretty shitty hand, but he never complained. He never gave up or gave into despair. But last night, he did. It scared even me. You're the only person who can get through to him now. I know you think that you're doing him a favor by staying away from him, but you're not."

Was Uchiha Sasuke begging? And was he begging her about Naruto?

'Get out of there…'

'I will. But I'm going to tell Naruto-kun, tell him why we can't be together. I can't let him suffer like this…'

'You'll only be—'

'I'm in for a lifetime of suffering. But I won't allow him to go through the same.'

When they got up to the apartment, they knocked several times, but no answer ever came. Sasuke groaned something along the lines of, "The idiot must be hungover."

He turned the doorknob to find that the door had been unlocked. That was odd, even Naruto never forgot to lock his door. And Sasuke was pretty sure that he had locked the door before he left. Naruto had given him a spare key just in case. It had shocked even him that Naruto trusted him so much.

The apartment was empty. Sasuke scanned the apartment thoroughly, only to see that Naruto was nowhere to be found. Hinata in the meantime became increasingly anxious. Where was he? He couldn't have gone too far with a hangover.

She scanned the old coffee table and saw that a piece of paper neatly folded. Hinata grabbed it and gasped as she read it.

"What is it?" the frustration in Sasuke's voice was evident.

Sasuke didn't wait for her to tell him so he just grabbed the paper out of her hand. It was a note from Naruto, and it read:

Sasuke,

Yeah if you're reading this, then I'm already gone. I can't stay in Konoha right now. Last night made me question a lot of things, and I think it'd be best if I was on my own for a while. I don't know when I'll be back. But all I know is that I can't fight you for the position of Hokage the way I am right now. Don't worry, I'll be back again someday. I'm informing baa-chan about it so that I'm not declared a missing-nin. Don't come looking for me and make sure no one else does either. Just do me one favor: Please make sure that you and everyone else keep Hinata safe. I don't want anything to happen to her while I'm gone. Thanks. See you some day.

—Naruto

Sasuke could hardly contain his rage as he read each line. It reached a boiling point when he read the last few sentences. And that rage was being directed at the girl who was standing right by him.

"You break him more than anyone else and he still worries about you," Sasuke's voice was so low that it sounded dangerous.

"Sasuke…"

"He leaves the village and even gives up his dream temporarily because of you and he still puts you first," the low tone was turning into a growl. "And you still have your mind set on abandoning him."

"…"

"If you know what's good for you, I suggest you get out right now," his voice sounded vicious.

"I can—," she started.

"I don't want to hear it. You've done enough damage. Get out right now," his voice was scarily calm now, but Hinata didn't want to find out what would happen if she pushed him anymore.

She closed the door. She pressed her back against the door and it finally hit her. Naruto had left the village. And she didn't know when he would come back. If he came back at all, that is. And it was all because of her…

'Oh god, what have I done?'

Hinata leaned against the bathroom wall later that day, horrified at what she had just done.

Her mental state had completely collapsed by the time she had gotten home. Her knees buckled and she had collapsed, completely devastated by what had happened. She had wanted to distance herself to keep him safe, but now he had left. And she was the reason that he had left. She had put him in more harm's way. While it was true that the war had ended, new enemies were popping up all of the time.

And worst of all, she wouldn't be seeing him. She would have to live with the fact that she would never be sure how he was, where he was, or the fact that she could never beg for his forgiveness. Right now he was in a great deal of pain. Hinata could feel it in her very soul. And it made her want to die. She didn't know why, but when he was in pain she could feel it. When he was overjoyed, she could feel that too. She was connected to him so much so that it almost scared her. He probably felt the same way, she was almost sure. That is, if he loved her like he said he did. Like everyone else was saying.

But despair was an ugly thing and right now she was feeling not only her own anguish and guilt, but Naruto's heartbreak and helplessness. For her, that was just too much.

And as a result, she took such a drastic step. She was horrified by what she had done. She was so driven by her emotions that it practically blinded her. It wasn't until the sound of metal clanging against her bathroom floor and blood dripping into the drain that she realized what a horrible mistake she had made. The scary part for her was that not only did she feel that she was able to forget her guilt and despair, but also the fact that she felt…excited as she was doing it?

Hinata shook the thought out of her head immediately, as her tears mixed with the blood. It stung as water hit her wounds. She hissed with pain but continued to wash to clean the wounds. She turned the faucet off and stared at the wounds running down her arm. There was no way she could hide this unless she was careful. Luckily her everyday attire included a jacket, but still, she'd need to take extra precautions.

And now here she was, leaning against the bathroom wall, hyperventilating. She was becoming out of control, and even she knew it. But dare she tell anyone? No, of course not. She couldn't drag anyone else into her crazy, twisted existence. She once again looked at her arm and her stomach sunk as she looked at each of them. This couldn't go on…she couldn't do this. She vowed that this would be the first and last time that she'd do this. She didn't know how true she could stay to the words, but she'd make the effort. But that didn't stop the despair. In fact now that she did this and also with Naruto's departure, despair came at her with full force.

'Oh god what have I done? What have I done…?'

Please Review.

Okay to answer the question I'm sure many of you are thinking: What's the voice in Hinata's head? This'll be a little hard to explain, but it isn't her conscience. There's a voice in your voice that screams negative things and when you're depressed it tends to make you vulnerable and more susceptible to notice. That's why Hinata self-harms at the end. I'm sorry if many of you were upset about that or if I made you cry, but remember this is a personal story. I went through all of this along with the nightmares, so I know what I'm talking about. No, I didn't go to war or anything like that, I have trauma from a very different event. If you'd like to know, feel free to PM me. This was very hard to write because I had to relive stuff, but I feel better now after writing about it. Thanks for reading! Tsunade finds out about Naruto's disappearance next chapter. DON'T WORRY NARUTO AND HINATA WON'T STAY BROKEN UP OR APART FOR TOO LONG! They just need to work on themselves before helping each other through this. And I know there was a lot of Sasuke and Sasuke OOC-ness in the chapter, I apologize for that. But he'll be a major supporting character from this point on.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: My fan fiction writing brain has kicked into over drive and I thought of four new story ideas. I'm doing a NaruHina, ShikaTema, NejiTen, and though I'm not a huge fan of it, a possible SasuSaku. I'm tossing around ideas, but if you have any ideas or would like to see one written for any of those pairings, just PM me! Your idea will be taken into consideration!

Next update is February 15th! Remember I update every Saturday! Loved it? Hated it? Let me know! Plz R&R! Thanks! Till next time!

CherryXButterfly(Angel)