Regina yawned and flopped down on Emma's couch dramatically. She was more than exhausted after a day of work after little sleep. Though she couldn't much complain about the little sleep she'd gotten the night before. She was ever so glad that she'd let Emma tie her up again and fuck her into oblivion like she had promised a few months back. Ever since she had let Emma do it the first time it had become a fairly regular thing. It didn't even matter than she was almost completely helpless tied up as she was during their sessions. She felt so entirely safe with Emma that it didn't matter. There were no flashbacks of any of the other times she'd been tied up; her only thoughts were about Emma's lips trailing up and down her form and hoping that they would go where she wanted them.
Emma came in with their boxes of Chinese takeout and moved Regina's sprawled legs so she could sit down. Regina smiled as the other woman promptly put her legs on her lap once she was settled. She sighed contently and let her eyes flutter shut.
"Don't go to sleep on me yet, pillow princess."
Regina's eyes snapped open and she glared at her. "I am not a pillow princess and you damn well know it."
Emma's eyes danced merrily. "Uh huh, couldn't tell that last night."
"Please," Regina scoffed. "We both know you came at least twice even if it wasn't by my hand. And I gladly would have returned the favor but someone fucked me until I passed out."
Emma shrugged. "What can I say? You look absolutely gorgeous when you've been fucked past sanity."
"Mmm, so do you. Especially when you beg and beg to come."
Emma threw a fortune cookie at her. "Lucky I love you."
Regina pulled her legs off of Emma's lap and sat up, setting the fortune cookie aside for later. She grabbed her container of lo mien and a pair of chopsticks and leaned against Emma.
"Yes, well, I love you too." She pecked Emma on the cheek.
Emma grabbed her own sesame chicken and dug in, entranced by her favorite TV show. Regina didn't quite get why she loved the show so much, it wasn't anything special. The women were poorly written props for the men and the plot was absolutely ridiculous and riddled with plot holes, but she sat with Emma every week and watched it with her anyway. She just sat quietly eating her lo mien and tried not to roll her eyes every time one of the characters said something too cliché to be believed. The things she did for the other woman.
She set her half-finished box of lo mien aside halfway through the show and leaned her head against Emma. Her eyes slipped closed as the noise from the TV became background noise. This was just so comfortable. It warmed her heart that she had finally found something like this even though she wasn't sure how she had. This wasn't for people in her line of profession. They all knew that. They all accepted it. And yet here she was.
A kiss to her temple startled her out of her drowsy state.
Emma laughed softly in her ear. "No need to look for a fire there, Regina. The show's over. Let's go to bed. We can sleep in tomorrow to make up for the fact I kept you up so late last night."
Regina nodded and yawned again. She started to clean up the mess they had made on Emma's coffee table but Emma hip checked her out of the way.
"Go get ready for bed. I got this."
Regina shot her a grateful smile and kissed the other woman before heading off to their bedroom. She quickly pulled on a pair of Emma's sweats and a ratty t-shirt before climbing into bed. It was much too cold outside to deal with her normal nightwear. Besides, Emma's clothes just seemed so much more comfortable.
Emma came in a few minutes later and slipped into bed. Regina immediately scooted back against the other woman as her arms came around her. She sighed and relaxed into the warm body behind her.
"Night, Regina," Emma whispered in her ear.
"Night, Emma," she mumbled, not fully conscious anymore now she was laying down.
"I love you."
Regina tried to say it back but it was no more than just a jumble of half formed words. She was already asleep by the time Emma smiled and pressed a light kiss to her t-shirt covered shoulder.
Regina woke to light streaming in the window and an empty bed. She frowned and reached out for Emma's side of the bed but it was barely warm anymore. The woman must have left a while ago. She wanted to cuddle some more now that she was awake and not leave their bed until hunger drove them out.
Her ears perked up as she heard rustling in the kitchen. Then again, maybe hunger had already driven Emma from bed. She sat up and stretched. There was still hope for cuddling later after they ate. It was Saturday after all, there was no real need to be anything other than a lazy lump on a log. Though maybe later she could convince Emma to go on a run with her, after the cuddling of course. She needed to work off the salt from the Chinese food last night.
She took in a deep breath and stood up. Regina made her way to the kitchen, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. She regretted the decision to forgo socks when she hit the title of the kitchen. She scurried over to the breakfast table and sat down, pulling her legs up on the chair.
Emma smiled up at her from the crepes she was making. "Morning sleepyhead."
"It's nine on a Saturday. I'm hardly sleeping in."
"For you, oh 'I get up at eight a.m. on the weekends instead of seven' it is."
She rolled her eyes. "I've done that only a few times. I like my sleep just as much as you do, even if I have less of a penchant to fall asleep in odd places. Remember the park bench?"
"What? I was really tired! You try getting up at four a.m. and then working the whole day and taking your girlfriend out for dinner and see just how exhausted you are."
Regina chuckled. "Fortunately, dear, I don't have to. I don't have to install software on computers to make sure employees are being the most efficient while working."
"Yeah, well, thank your lucky stars for that."
"I do, I do."
Emma slid the cooked crepe out of the pan onto a stack she had going. "Go ahead and grab whatever you want. I did the fruit earlier. It's in the fridge if you want to pull it out."
Regina stood, wincing again at the cold tile set about grabbing the rest of the things they needed for breakfast. She smiled at the peeled mangoes that Emma had included. It was more comforting than she ever could have imagined having someone know her favorite fruit. She glanced at the blonde woman making yet another crepe. Emma knew her favorite everything really. She smiled at the cherries already stemmed and pitted in another container, Emma's favorite. Regina was confident she knew the same amount of information about Emma as well. It was strange knowing so much about a person without having gotten the information through deception and careful watching. The information was freely given. It made it sweeter somehow.
Just as she had set everything on the table, Emma came with the plate of crepes and sat down after kissing Regina on the cheek.
"Thanks, babe."
Regina glared at her. She really did hate that nickname, but she found it less reprehensible than the others Emma had tried earlier in their relationship so she stayed quiet. The last thing she wanted was to be called something ridiculous like cupcake again. Whoever thought that was an acceptable pet name for their significant other was sorely mistaken.
They settled in to eat. Emma's foot came to rest on the bottom of her chair. She smiled down at the offending appendage. The woman really couldn't stand to be any farther apart from Regina than she had to be at any given moment. She unfolded her legs so she could drop one and trace Emma's legs with her toes. The other woman squirmed a bit at the tickling sensation. Regina smirked and kept doing it.
"Damn it woman, I'm trying to eat," Emma looked up at her trying to keep a straight, serious face, but failing. The corners of her mouth kept twitching up into a smile.
"Well, darling, if you didn't put your leg in a prime position for such things then perhaps I wouldn't be tempted."
Emma threw her napkin at the other woman. Regina dodged easily and picked the piece of paper off the floor and threw it right back. Emma caught it and tucked it back in her lap again.
"And you say I'm insufferable one."
"You're the one who tried to hide around corners and scare me all the time."
"Because that one time you squealed like a little girl was hilarious. So what if I want to repeat that?"
Regina rolled her eyes. "Good luck ever getting that reaction from me again. That was a fluke."
"Uh huh." Emma shot her a skeptical look.
Regina sighed. It really had been a fluke. She had been too preoccupied with the problem of reporting in to her handler with Emma in the apartment to notice the other woman coming up behind her to tickle her sides. The squeal had more to do with the fact that Emma had grabbed her in a very ticklish spot than anything else. Emma had no idea how close she had come to being dropped that night. Regina was infinitely glad she had resisted her instincts and just turned around and smacked Emma instead of breaking her neck.
"Would you like for me to try and make you squeak like a little mouse again?"
"Oh, come on, that was once! I really just don't like bats."
"Big scary Emma White is scared of bats," she taunted.
Emma shot her a glare. "Oh like you aren't afraid of anything."
"Not animals. They're just living on this earth same as we are."
Emma huffed and shoved a bite of crepe in her mouth. "Sure, they aren't out to kill us at all."
"No, darling, that's other humans. They do that quite nicely without the animals help."
Emma shot her an odd look but when back to eating her breakfast. They finished up their meals, legs still in the same tangled position under the table. Regina was always so awed at just how easy this all was. She had always thought domesticity would bother her. It wasn't the world she was built and trained for. But here she was, with her girlfriend eating breakfast on a Saturday like she wasn't a trained assassin. It was what she had longed for as a teenager. It was what she had relegated to dream status when she finally grew up. And yet it was.
She helped Emma clean up and then she grabbed her and dragged the other woman back to the bedroom. Emma followed her willingly with a smile on her face.
"Someone is eager."
"You got up too early. I wanted at least an hour of lazy cuddling before we got out of bed and I'm going to have it."
"Lazy cuddling, eh?"
Regina looked over her shoulder, just refraining from rolling her eyes at the leer she found on Emma's face.
"Yes, just lazy cuddling. Nothing else."
"Where's the fun in that?" she heard the pout in Emma's voice.
"I swear to god I am in love with a teenaged boy," Regina grumbled.
Emma grabbed her ass. "What? I can't help it when my girlfriend looks like a sex goddess."
She turned around in the doorway to their room. Regina leaned up and kissed Emma with the blonde's hand still firmly cupping her ass. She could feel Emma's smirk through the kiss. The woman totally thought she had won.
Regina pulled back. "We have tonight to do whatever you want to me. Now I want to cuddle." She yanked the other woman towards the bed.
"Tease."
Regina just sank down on the bed and looked up expectantly at Emma. Emma sighed and got under the covers. Regina made short work of wiggling her way into Emma's embrace. She sank down and relaxed fully almost instantly. Emma's hands started to card through her hair gently and she sighed. She squeezed Emma hard. She really loved this casual intimacy.
They stayed silent for a long while, Emma's hands still moving, their breathing slow and even, just basking in the other's presence. Regina felt herself drifting, not quite awake or asleep. Her mind wandered forming fantastical images of strange creatures, dragons and unicorns, and then suddenly those would be gone and replaced by images of Emma with a little grey around her temples looking up at her with loving green eyes.
"Do you ever think about the future?" Emma asked her, drawing her out of her daze.
Regina blinked open her eyes and looked up at the other woman. Emma was staring at the ceiling, her hand had stopped in Regina's hair. Regina took a deep breath.
"What do you mean?"
"Like, I mean, the future with us, I guess. I mean everyone kinda thinks about what's going to happen in the future, but I guess what I'm trying to get at is do you see me there?"
Regina smiled at the other woman, seeing the image of Emma with greying hair smiling at her that her brain had just shown her in her drowsy state.
"Of course I do, Emma." She squeezed the woman under her. "I see you old and greying in my mind and you look just as beautiful as you do today. I'm the happiest I've been in…well I'm quite positive I'm the happiest I've ever been really. Why wouldn't I want that to continue?"
Underneath her Emma breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. I do too."
Regina smiled warmly and poked Emma in the side. "Were you really worried that I didn't see us as anything more than temporary?"
Emma shrugged and blushed lightly. "I dunno. I mean we haven't been together that long. You could have been on a totally different page than I was."
"If I was on a different page I don't think I would've said I love you, Emma. I don't love easily. I wasn't sure I was capable of it for a long time. But I love you. And I want to spend as long as I can with you." Even if that wasn't as long as she really wanted, Regina tacked on in her mind. Any day her country could decide that she was of more use elsewhere and send her back into the field. But until then she was going to spend every moment she could with the woman who was looking at her with such love and care.
"Ok." She sighed. "Ok. I, um, I'm not exactly used to anyone actually loving me as much as I love them." She swallowed hard. "One of the many pluses of foster care, I guess."
Regina leaned her head back and placed a gentle kiss on Emma's neck. Emma hadn't talked much about her childhood, but each mention showed that it wasn't a happy time. She was glad Emma trusted her enough to tell her such things, even if they made her heart ache. Emma deserved the parents that she had always imagined for herself, loving, kind, funny, accepting. Not the kind that trained their daughter in espionage just because it would bring their family status within the country.
"Don't worry, darling, I love you more than I ever thought was possible. There's no need to worry."
Emma's arms came around her and squeezed. "I love you, Regina."
"And I you."
They lapsed into silence for a while. Regina took to tracing random patterns on the patch of skin revealed by Emma's tank top riding up. Emma took to stroking her hair again. The soft smile on Regina's face felt like it would split her head in half. She wasn't sure that it got better than this. Certainly it could be better if she wasn't undercover, but that couldn't be changed. Everything that could be helped was wonderful as it was.
"So, what do you imagine as our future?" Regina asked sometime later. Her eyes met Emma, open and honest.
A small smile graced Emma's lips. "Well, first I find a new job so I don't have to spend a single second away from you. Then I think we date for a few years and you still manage to show my ass up on dates every single time and I have no idea how, but I don't really care because you're fabulous and I love you. Of course we move in together somewhere in there. Maybe our own little cute home, maybe just move into mine, because let's face it I like your apartment and all, but I love the space of a house. Kitty probably makes his home on one of the couches that you hate and scratches the fuck out of it because you guys are like of the same mind sometimes."
Regina laughed and started to poke Emma in the ribs and the other woman squirmed and laughed under her, but continued.
"And then eventually I get my shit together and buy a ring for you. It's probably going to take me forever to find one that's worthy of you because it needs to be just as beautiful as you and that's going to be damn hard to find. And expensive. Let's face it you have expensive tastes." Emma started to tickle Regina under her armpits and Regina laughed and convulsed, attacking Emma's sides that much harder in retaliation.
"I'll propose and I'll probably fuck up the wording and everything because you make me feel like an idiot sometimes and it'll probably be magnified about fifteen hundred times when I'm nervous about what you'll say. But of course you say yes and we get married in a small little ceremony and you'll look wonderful in a wedding dress and I'll wear a tux because I like dresses, but wedding dresses just aren't my speed. And then we live happily ever after, after that because you're perfect and I can't imagine ever being unhappy with you."
Regina sat up and kissed the woman hard. Emma's arms came up around her as both of them melted into the kiss. It was soft and loving, passionate but in a subdued way. It never got heated, but expressed every emotion that couldn't be put into words.
"I like that future," Regina said as she drew back, forehead still resting on Emma's.
"Yeah?" Emma asked, eyes fluttering open again.
"Yeah."
"I'm glad."
"I'm glad I found you. Or more accurately your annoying self stumbled into my life. Thank god for government red tape."
Emma laughed under her. "I think that's the only time that'll ever be said."
"Mmm, yes well, there's a first time for everything." She leaned in to kiss Emma again before settling back down, head on Emma's chest, listening to her breath.
Her mind wandered again, thinking of everything that Emma had said. What if her government left her here, forever the mole, never again in the field? What if she could have everything that Emma just painted a beautiful picture of? She was nearing the end of her field life span in terms of effectiveness. Anyone past forty wasn't considered as good. They weren't as fast as their younger counterparts. They couldn't take as much abuse anymore. If anyone lived that long by their forties they were put into sleeper jobs or trained the next generation. She had five more years until she hit that mark. What if they just decided to keep her here for the rest of her life? She was already completely integrated. If they left her here uninterrupted she might climb in the ranks and have access to even more information.
She practically salivated over the possibility. Maybe she was done with everything finally. Or as done as she ever could get. God, she hoped so. She glanced up at Emma and prayed to every god she knew that that was the case.
"Do you ever think about kids in your little future scenario?" Regina didn't know where that had come from, but all she could think of now was a little girl with Emma's blonde curls and bright smile and her heart melted.
Emma was silent for a long moment. "I've never thought about that. I guess since I never really had parents I never thought I could be one." She looked down at Regina. "But you? You would be a great mother. And a little girl with your looks would be the cutest thing ever."
"You don't give yourself any credit, Emma. You would be a wonderful mother. You're kind and caring and you would dote on a child like they're the be all end all. It doesn't matter if you didn't have a mother in your life. You would be wonderful regardless. And you're mistaken, a little girl with your looks would be the cutest thing ever."
Emma's smile was soft and unsure. "You really think so?"
"I know so, Emma."
"You'd really want to have kids with me?"
"Of course. I want to do everything with you, Emma. And if both of us wants children in the future then I will be ecstatic. And if we don't, then I'll still be ecstatic because I'm spending my life with the love of my life and nothing else matters."
Emma tugged her up into another kiss. "God, I love you so much it should probably hurt."
Regina laughed. "I know the feeling, darling." And leaned back in to kiss Emma again, smiling.