Warning! Warning! This chapter is Rated T (contains author's fangurliness and lotsa kisses) and it is very long. *bows*
Ah. The rain; it just kept pouring.
Without a care on what's underneath, it just carried on falling down; moistening the soil around me. Here I am, drenched in the rain; dirtied by the mud; frozen by this weather. Those droplets of water trickling down to my face continuing to pour down to my body; my clothes dampened by the drizzle.
It was so noisy. The sound of the rain was the only thing I could hear.
It was a vast land, with nothing on sight. A girl was sitting there in the midst of the downpour; her thighs touching the soil and her hands gripping tightly of her limbs. Her long locks akin to the colour of the sun almost reaching her waist, covering her face; a few got attached to her skin due to its dampen state. Her stare completely locked on the mud beneath her.
She hasn't moved from that position.
Blood.
A tinge of crimson mixed with the trail of water flowing towards her. Though still refusing; she took the courage to look in front of her. Little by little; she lifted her head. She was trembling.
As her eyes came into full view of the sight; she tilted her head; her hair moving along with it. Her face was blank, it showed no expression. Even her eyes were empty that showed no will to live anymore. It felt creepy.
There; just a few meters away from her.
A young guy stood; probably in his late teens. He had a long pinkish orange hair with a single braid. He wore a Chinese clothing tinted of black; paired with white pants that almost reached his feet and a cloak covering his attire. He was holding an umbrella that matched with his upper clothing.
And that guy; was killing her parents.
He was having fun; and she just knew it even with the lengthy distance between them; his devious smirk was just enough evidence for his enjoyment. His braid floated to the air together with his cloak as he sprinted towards his targets. He was still shielding himself from the rain using his umbrella. The mud splattered with the movements of his feet.
He didn't care about the two figures in front of him who were struggling for their lives fighting him. He had already given them crucial damages in their bodies; probably even their internal organs were already affected.
He closed his umbrella and transformed it into his weapon. It was a gun after all.
BANG! BANG!
They were both lying on the ground. More of their blood splattered as it blended with the rain.
They were both staring at me; I may not hear it well, but I know they're calling out to me; with all the strength left in their battered bodies; they were yelling, "Run away, Ma-"
BANG! BANG!
They died; right at that moment. He killed them with no mercy in mind.
He licked his palm filled with blood together with a grin; that grin that showed blood lust. His blue orbs were wide open with no rationality anymore. He loved the sight of two corpses he created right in front of him.
He sensed another presence. He totally forgot about it since he got too concentrated with killing. He faced her and suddenly; approached her.
She remained at her position; with her stare completely onto him.
He killed my parents; that stranger took away my only family. Those parent who cherished me; the only ones, who cared for me; who gave me life and now they are gone...forever. They won't be coming back anymore.
She then looked up at the sky.
But I'm not crying; not even a drop of tear is shedding. It must be the rain...I guess.
The girl changed the direction of her stare; it was fixed on him once again and so was he while he held his umbrella leaning it on his shoulder.
She was still in the same position.
His steps got closer to her; but she won't move an inch.
Ohhh...So this is it, huh? I don't care anymore; I don't have the reason to live after all.
She just knew it; every step he takes means the shortening of her life. She'll be killed by him soon.
His footsteps were becoming more audible to her ears. She just closed her eyes.
At least I'd be with my parents now.
"Heh. So this is the daughter that they were talking about." He suddenly spoke.
She then opened her eyes and saw that guy right in front of her. He was sitting with his legs apart and his body was not touching the ground. His hands hung freely on his knees while his right hand held his umbrella. He was sharing his only protection from that rain with her.
She examined his face; he seemed to have calmed down already. He was smiling normally; just a carefree smile leaving the traces of his deeds a while ago.
Blood was scattered in his clothes; even to his face.
"They've been begging for your life a while ago; and I'm kind enough to honour their death wish." He tilted his head, "So, you'll have your revenge on me, right?" he said while still wearing that stupid and innocent smile.
Her passive face changed all of a sudden. She stared keenly at him; she smiled sarcastically and spoke up with confidence, "I won't."
That gave him a surprise that his eyes opened widely, "Oh?"
"Losing to your blood of Yato, huh?" her grin got bigger, "How pathetic."
I didn't know what had gotten into me; but knowing that he won't kill me really surprised me. I mean; acting like a killing machine a while ago that only knew taking away other's life; and now talking to me like a normal guy. I always knew that was the fate of the Yatos, fighting comes with our blood line after all. The thirst for blood cannot be stopped.
I just...pity him.
He closed his eyes once again and grinned like an idiot, "Now, you're quite interesting. You are?" he asked.
Her grin worn off, "Mashiro." She spoke.
They were staring at each other's eyes. Both of them captured with each other's gaze. He held her cheek cupping his hand on it.
"Mashiro, huh?" he repeated with amusement on his voice; as he gently stroke her dampened hair.
He felt each strand touching his fingers while it reached its ends his hand was slowly going back to her cheek this time caressing it with his thumb that moved in a semi circular motion. He then traced her lips with that finger; lightly pressing it. They were moistened by her saliva and also by the rain; but that soft sensation he experienced as his finger laid on her lips; he began craving for it. His hands went down and rested on her neck; his thumb on the edge of her jaw while it supported her head to tilt slowly. His other fingers remained on her neck; he moved his thumb lightly like tracing her jaw and that tickled her a bit.
He placed his umbrella on the ground. He tilted his head while it was gently pushing towards hers. His lips opened slightly as he slowly closed his eyes. She just copied him and didn't even refuse.
He kissed her lips. He bit the lower part as it got trapped in between his; and with just her reflexes reacting; she returned that kiss; her upper lip gently touching his.
He got deeper and bit her harder that it produced blood; they shared the same metallic taste that spread throughout their mouths. He then held her head with his other hand and pulled it towards him forcibly; with that monstrous strength he had even with just the use of one hand. He grasped into strands of her hair with tenderness in his grip.
She just remained still; she didn't push him away nor did she respond to his touches. She just sat there and allowed him to do what he wanted.
He finally pulled away and took off his hands from both her head and her neck. He got his umbrella and stood up while he licked the trace of blood in his lips. He took off his cloak and gave it to her; though it was drenched with mixed blood and water. It served as her blanket. He just looked back and she just followed the sight of that guy who just kissed her.
He waved his hand; "I'm Kamui, by the way."
Even with the overwhelming sound of the rain, it was still audible to her ears. And so, he walked away, leaving the poor girl in the midst of the rain.
"Ah. That was my first kiss." Said she, as she hugged herself with the cloak he gave her, "Well, Whatever."
Ironically, it was love at first sight.
oooo
After that incident; since I had no parents anymore, I was adopted by Yahiro who was...wait..come to think of it, are they my relatives? Ah. Whatever. It was not a good thing anyway; I became his puppet who would do all the things he told me. All the dirty jobs that he does in the shadows were all passed down to me. And yeah, it included assassination. It's not that I didn't have a choice; it's just that...I didn't care. Well, I got tired with my life after all. I was just like a walking corpse or maybe a robot; who may be moving, but deep inside; I was empty. I may be living in flesh, but my soul; had already left me since that day.
I never hated anything. I never hated the world who took away my parents; the reason why things have gone like this; why I became alone, heartless and someone who have forgotten about emotions. I never tried investigating about my parents' assassination; or tried researching about that guy who killed them.
I never thought about revenge; or accessing the H*ll site to call the H*ll girl and extract my vengeance for me; I'd rather do that to see Ichimoku Ren. He's a hottie anyway, kinda.
It would just be a waste of time; waste of energy. They won't come back anyway whatever I do; or even that self-gratification you'll have after fulfilling your revenge; it won't make me happier or change anything. Revenge would just give me negative emotions; hatred, sadness, longing while thinking, 'This is for the sake of my parents' and doing things more than revenge along the way. It's just a selfish thought not being able to escape from that tragic past. I'm sure my parents wouldn't want that anyway.
I'm neither a masochist nor a sadist. If I live then I live; if I die; then I die. Anything's fine for me. I simply just don't care about anything anymore.
Ah. I take that back; I still cared about one thing; BOY'S LOVE.
Then after a year; I became a member of space pirates; the 7th squad of the Harusame. I didn't know why or how; but someone recruited me to that ship. Well, Yahiro; who became my guardian; allowed me to work there since he kinda know the leader of that group, I guess?
First day of stay..
They were all eyeing on me as I came inside that ship, probably because I was the only girl there. Reverse harem? Nah. I'd rather see them do 'those' kind of things while hiding somewhere here. Better be sharp to catch them on act.
One of the guys there was generous enough to lead me to my room. He gave me my keys and just told me, "You'll meet the Captain later."
It was big enough to accommodate me. It had a single bed; with two pillows and a blanket ehough for a single person, one wooden cabinet as tall as I am in front of the bed and a table right beside it; few meters away from the door.
After fixing my things; I sat on the chair placed in front of the table and began my 'Private time.' Yes, boy X boy romances.
It must be in the blood that I fell in love with these kinds of things right away. After my parents died, I was given a medium-sized box which was from my mother. It says, "These are the treasures of our family, take care of it." It contained BL mangas; animes, novels etc, from rated K to rated M. These became my enjoyment, something that gave a little bit of spice in my life.
"Maybe I should try Seka* Ich* Hats*ko* (A yaoi anime)." I spoke to myself.
As I continued my 'Private time', I noticed the ruckus outside. They were running like busy ants and I could clearly hear their footsteps even if the door was closed.
"Have you seen the Captain?" one of them asked.
"Not yet. He escaped from his meeting again." The other answered.
Ohhh...So the Captain is missing huh? That's one unreliable leader we have there.
It's not my business so I'll just continue watching here, it's my favourite part anyway. I just focused my eyes on the screen and watched it properly, while wearing earphones on max volume to enjoy it more.
While watching I heard something fell from above, but I didn't care and just continued.
"Hehhh... Mashiro?"
Even with the max volume, I heard it clearly. That gentle voice that would deceive anyone. It was a voice I would never forget; it resonated on my ears; It's him and I just know it. I began thinking if I was just hearing things, or maybe I was just tired. But still, I tried confirming it. I took off my ear phone and faced him.
On my left, a guy was sitting care freely. That braid, the colour of hair, those clothes; yeah, positive, it was him. I was amazed, seeing him just in front of me, somehow, it felt magical or maybe it was fate? I was captivated by his stare, his blue orbs was just to addicting to look at; my mouth agape with him.
Okay. Once again, I take back what I said, there were two things I cared about; Boy's Love and...this guy.
This is not my imagination, right? He's real, right? He's still the same, having that kind of stupid expression; that fake smile he wore.
He tilted his head, "You're Mashiro, right?"
With a blank, uninterested expression, I answered him, "Ohh...If it isn't the murderer of my parents. It's been a long time. "
"Ahahaha...saying such things nonchalantly, you're still as interesting as ever."
Yeah, I may have been longing to see him once again after that incident, but even if he's right on front of me right now, I'm unable to express such emotions anymore. He's my First love and up until now, my feelings remained the same, in fact it even grew more. I guess the 'First love never dies' saying perfectly fit me. But still, with him in front of me, I'm not having those, 'bathump bathump' reaction after having this 'fateful encounter.'
"Then if you'll excuse me, I'm still busy here." I told him with a straight forward face. I just faced my laptop once again, completely ignoring his presence.
"Busy with what?" he asked.
I just focused on what I was watching; it was 'that' part after all, and I have to keep my eyes glued on the screen to see each and every move that they do. This is more important at this moment.
I could hear him repeatedly calling my name but I just ignored it.
"Aryaya...It's been ages since we saw each other, and now you're giving me the cold shoulder." he said and gave a grin.
Without any thought of leaving my eyes from the screen, all of a sudden the ear phones were disconnected with the laptop. Now the sounds from what I was watching were echoing inside my room.
*sounds were BLEEEEEP-ed since it was too explicit*
"You were into these things?" he asked and when I saw him, he was already watching together with me.
I faced him, "The more extreme; more explicit; more perverted it is, the better. I enjoy it more."
"Ohhh." He responded like he was amused with my answer.
I began examining his whole body, from head to foot and noticed something from him.
He's an uke. No doubt about it.
He was staring back at me, confused with my actions. We were just staring at each other. Then there were voices that echoed from outside the room.
"Abuto-san! Captain Kamui is still nowhere to be found!" one of them said.
"Keh. That idiot." The other one answered.
His antenna began twitching. Hearing them amused him more.
"So they're still finding for me, huh?" he said.
Then he's my boss, huh? "Wait...How did you enter my room by the way?" I asked him.
He just pointed up his finger; I followed that direction and there was a hole there. You know that usual passage used for escape route, that narrow one where they would crawl inside it then coming down from it through a hole.
"So that's how." I faced him once again, "Now, get out of here." I said with coldness in my voice.
He was staring at me, while smiling, "And if I don't want?" he asked.
"I'll shout, 'KYAAAAAAH. Help me, Captain Kamui is SEXUALLY HARASSING me.'" It was in a dead panned tone.
"Fine by me, and if you want; I can do that for real." He said as his grin grew more, like he was teasing me.
Then I suddenly pointed my dagger hidden somewhere in my body, since I always had that for safety purposes, on his neck, "No seriously, just get out. You're interfering with my luxury time."
"Ohoh...What a violent girl you are."
"Says the one who brutally murdered my parents."
"Haha...Okay, I get it. I'll get out already."
He stood up and climbed to that hole, then he poked out his head after his body had gone inside the passage and said, "Til next time, Mashiro."
He was finally gone; I just let off a big sigh.
Just why did I fall in love with that guy? Wait..then maybe 'Love is blind' fits me better.
oooo
And so, I continued working for the Harusame. Nothing special; just doing transactions with other groups, following the orders of the higher ups; just like how normal space pirates would do. I didn't talk that much to anyone unless it is needed; they're not the friendly type anyway the same goes for me. I would just lock myself in my room and have my 'private time'.
Months had passed since I first came here; and I still haven't talked to Kamui ever since that time. I may see him several times but I would just watch him from far away; it would be troublesome if others see us getting closer. I think? Well he's our Captain anyway and talking with him may get unwanted attention from others. There was a time when he waved at me; but I just ignored him and pretended I didn't see him.
I was at the roof of the deck of that ship, where you could clearly see the space. I just sat there with my feet hanging freely as I read a BL manga. One hand was holding the book and the other one was grasping on the edge.
With my thumb I tried flipping the page of that manga, but I suddenly heard a voice behind me.
"Wait, I'm still reading that page."
Of course I recognize that voice well. I stopped my movements and turned my head around to face him, and there he was squatting as he chomped another piece of onigiri. His cheek puffed like a squirrel eating a whole acorn.
"Don't talk when your mouth is full." I told him.
He then swallowed everything in his mouth and began talking, "You sound like a mother you know."
He sat beside me with the same position as I am; his feet were swinging back and forth. I laid down the book I was reading.
"Why are you here, by the way?" he asked me.
"Just to breathe some air." I answered.
"Ohhhh..."
Silence filled the air. We had nothing to talk about anyway, I had nothing to tell him and it's not like we're close or anything. We just stared in front of us; looking at the endless space ahead.
"Ne ne, Why won't you have revenge on me?" he asked out of nowhere while staring at me with curiosity.
I didn't stare back, "Too troublesome."
"Because I'm too strong for you?"
"That can be one of the reasons. But seriously I think it would just waste my time."
"Why?"
*sigh*"They won't come back to life anymore." Finally I faced him, "Unless you've gathered the 7 Dr*gon B*lls and make Sh*n L*ng appear; I might change my mind."
"Ohhhh..Is that so? I think you just don't care about them."
He bent his body a bit as he tilted his head. He clutched tightly to the edge cautious of the possibility of falling down. He looked so serious with confusion plastered in his face, his eyes on me. His feet was swinging back and forth.
"Of course not."
He stopped his movements and sat properly once again.
"They're the ones I cherished the most. Every day I would be patiently waiting for their return even though they are both busy with their jobs I just know that they'll come back just for me. Even if I was alone; even with that gloomy place; seeing them is something I always look forward to everyday of my life."
It took a while before I realized the content of my words.
Ah. Crap. Did I just open up with him? It's not like he cares about these things—
It must've been my imagination; but for one second I saw him changed his facial expression. He had this painful look in his face; like it triggered some bad memories with what I said or he regretted something.
"Heh...But you were not even crying that time." he said while he was smiling.
Yeah, it was just my imagination.
"You were too pitiful that time that I don't feel like crying for their sake anymore."
"Ehhhhh...Why do you say that? It was your parents who died right?" he was still smiling.
"I mean they were fighting to protect me; their most precious and irreplaceable daughter. They would risk their own lives for me. They had a reason that they won't ever regret. While you...you just killed them. Without anyone in mind but just your Yato blood taking over your whole self; becoming a killing machine. You're just like a kid. Too pathetic."
"Ahahaha...Isn't that harsh? Though I didn't get a thing of what you just said. I think being weak is more pathetic. They just died in front of you without putting up a good fight, right?" he just replied.
"Talking it out with you would just be a waste of time." then I held my book and stood up from that place, I started walking, "I'll just continue this on my room. Bye." Then waved my hand.
"And here I thought she's just the same as me." he said while he kept swinging his feet.
Ah. Before I forgot. I stopped my movements and faced him once, "Kamui." I called.
He faced me hearing his name, "Hmm?"
"Happy birthday." I said with a smile, a genuine one. Oh. I smiled I think I should celebrate.
It has been a long time since a smile was carved on my lips.
I came here just to greet him and knowing that he frequents in this place at this time, it was really planned for me to come here just to tell him that. Does that make me a stalker?
He just grabbed my right wrist that I just kneeled on the floor. He tilted his head and began closing his eyes. My head kept pushing forward towards his face while he kept pulling my wrist to lessen the distance between our faces.
He kissed me on my lips.
It lasted for a couple of seconds and finally he pulled away. He opened his eyes and stared at me.
He smiled, "Your present for me." it was a teasing smile like he just won over me.
Damn you, Kamui. You just make me fall deeper in love with you.
oooo
And that's how we became closer, well not that close, more like talking more to each other than usual. He would always sneak into my room whenever he didn't feel like attending meetings; saying, "Ahahaha...Abuto can handle that." And yeah, together with that stupid smile on his face. Then he would watch BL stuffs with me; he also read the mangas and doujinshis. He wouldn't feel disgusted seeing two men doing 'such' things which made me think that maybe, he really is a Bi or a homo. I don't mind at all, in fact that would make me happy.
He would always lean on me with our shoulders attached. Even when we're watching; since there's only one chair there; he would really force himself there just to sit beside me. Then he would just fall asleep there while he rested his head on my shoulder having that serene expression in his face. Yes fangirls, that 'ATTACK TIME' kind of face; looking so weak, so innocent which is too opposite from his psychotic, violent and sadistic nature. He's just like a child and also, an airhead.
He loves to kiss me. Whenever he felt like it, he would just come closer to my face and kiss me that instant. I remember one time, I was just walking along the hallways of the ship. Well we just ate our dinner so there were also other members of the Harusame walking with me. I was heading in my room; when someone had suddenly grabbed my hand and brought me to the narrow and dark passageway connected on that hallway. That person just held my waist and wrist then started inching towards my face.
It was dark but I felt lips brushing against mine.
He pulled away though still holding onto me. That's when I realized who that person was; it was Kamui. He just came back from his mission.
"I thought you were a pervert."
"So that's why you're holding a dagger,huh?" I just nodded, then he let off a sigh,"You should learn closing your eyes when kissing me, Mashiro."
"Welcome back, Kamui." I said as I gripped lightly onto his clothes on his chest.
I came closer to his face and kissed him; this time closing my eyes. I saw him grin after that kiss.
Then there were also times when he would pin me down to my bed; seizing both my hands. One time, I told him, "Just don't go beyond kissing."
He suddenly stopped and looked at me with confusion, "What's beyond kissing?"
That really surprised me, I thought it was just a joke but his face was really serious at that time. I really thought that he'd be the type of guy who would toy around girls. But to think that he's innocent with these kinds of things, yeah, he's a Cherry Boy. A Bishounen Cherry Boy.
We may be physically close; we may do things like lovers and such; but there's one thing that I know. We are NOT lovers. I know it very well that this person, is someone who is not capable of 'falling in love'; he's heartless after all. And I, may just be his pass time
oooo
I heard a knock on my door.
Nah. It can't be Kamui. He never showed up normally by going through the door.
It has been days since I last saw Kamui. He was on a mission I think? Puzzled to who it was, I came straight towards the door to open it and what it revealed was...
"Abuto." I just said.
With that half closed eyes that seemed to have no motivation at all, he stared at me.
"The Captain's asking you to go to his room." He said.
Oh. Come to think about it I have never entered his room.
I was just staring at him and so was he. Then he began scratching his messy hair and looked down.
"That airhead." Then stared back at me, "Just don't do anything wild there, okay?"
He knew everything all along. He knew what was going on between Kamui and I. Well he's his right hand anyway.
Wait, does this mean he's jealous? Don't worry I'll always be rooting for the two of you.
That said; Abuto lead me to our Captain's room. As we reached the door, he just left me there.
"If he does something to you, don't hold back on beating the crap out of him." he advised me before he walked away.
And so, I held the knob and peeked inside as the door opened with just my head popping out. I roamed my eyes around to examine the room. It was twice bigger than mine. He's our Captain after all, the leader of this ship. I scanned the place more to look for him, he was lying on his bed. I finally decided to step a foot and come inside the room.
I just stood by his bed and silently observed him. He was sleeping soundly, just like a kid unknown of this world. He looked so innocent, so fragile like he could break anytime. Just looking at his serene expression makes me feel at ease. He looked cute this way. It makes me forget that this guy is actually a psychotic killer who would kill anyone without feeling anything.
He was leaning on his right with a pillow used as a cushion to support his head. He had a blanket with him with a size slightly bigger than him with just his right hand popping out from beneath that blanket forming a fist though it was formed lightly. His braid was kind of messy as it hung freely to his neck going down to the pillow. His lips slightly opening as he took a breath. His eyes tightly shut like he was having a good dream.
He was too off guard, gazing upon his face on his weakest state. Anyone could take advantage of him with this situation.
"Kamui, you'd be a mass murderer if you show that kind of face in public. Fan girls would die on the spot." I said, "The author had already lost lots of blood just by imagining this scene."
That's when I noticed a little cabinet beside his bed; having the same height as it is. An idea crossed my mind so I squatted in front of that furniture.
"Just a little bit of investigating won't hurt." I said, while opening the cabinet.
And what a big surprise, as soon as it opened a book was inside it and it was no ordinary book; it was a porn magazine.
I got it from there and scanned it a bit, "Must be because of what I said before."
I was about to return it but then something more surprising caught my eyes. Underneath that book, there were pictures. They were pictures of people who share the same face as him. I didn't need to think about it deeply, I knew it, without investigating or searching for clues, that these people are...his family.
It piqued my interest more. I took all the pictures there and began looking at it. There were about 10 of them. Most of it showed an image of a young girl about 5yrs of age who wore buns on both sides of her head. She was always wearing a smile as bright as the sun. He also had pictures with her. They share the same colour of hair and eyes. Yeah it was his little sister. There pictures of her from her childhood to her early teens.
"He must be checking up on her secretly, huh? I didn't know he had a Sister Complex." I said.
Then I saw a picture of a lad who seemed different from them. He had a light brown hair and reddish brown eyes; a certified bishie. On the back was a note that says, 'Must be killed ^v^'
"Quite the overprotective big bro huh?"
Then there was also a woman just the same physical characteristic as the siblings. She was their mother. There was one picture of their whole family. It was a picture ages ago, when Kamui was still in his early teens. They were all smiling, just like a normal family contented with each other. He too was smiling in that picture, a very different smile from the current one. It was genuine, it reflected his real feelings. He looked so happy.
I researched a bit about his family background. I knew how he abandoned his family and even tried killing his own father. He just left his little sister alone with their dying mother in that dirty dump, in our homeland that bathed in the rain. I could imagine how that poor girl felt that time when her big brother abandoned her; walking away with a smile in his face; sounding so cold and heartless as he threw away all the memories he shared with them; the bond he had with his family. He was like a bird that flew away from his nest without any thought of returning.
Looking at these pictures, I began thinking. He has not yet moved on from the past. Yeah he may act the opposite but I know, he still cherished his family.
I laid the pictures on the floor and knelt down to face his bed. He was still sleeping soundly. I crossed my arms and rested them on his bed. I leaned my head on my arms; tilted on the right side. I stared at his face just inches away from mine.
"Ne Kamui." I called softly.
He didn't move an inch. He remained sleeping even with my voice calling into him.
"Tell me." I continued as I squeezed my arms lightly, leaning more to my arms. I was confident that he would not wake up so I took the courage of asking him.
"Did you ever regret abandoning your family?"
As I spoke those words he began opening his eyes slowly. He slightly opened his mouth while a smile was forming in his lips, and said...
"Yeah. I've always did."
Yes, he was smiling but...it looked so painful. It gave an ache in my heart seeing him smile like that. It was filled with regret, like it was something that can't be undone anymore; something that he wanted to change but he just can't; something that may have given him the desire to come back to the past. He may be half sleep, he may not be conscious of what he just said at that moment, but I know that this is his real feelings. This is what he'd been hiding deep within him all this time.
He closed his eyes once again.
I buried my head in my crossed arms and let off a sigh.
Damn you Kamui. Just why are you showing me your 'dere' side now?
He's been caged to his past. He just can't move on. He must've been thinking how her little sister suffered being alone as she watched their mother die slowly. How day by day she would bear the pain of seeing her Mami in that state, while still in her young age. How she needed comfort from someone older than her, someone that could give her strength. Yeah, they still had a father but he's fully knowledgeable of how seldom he comes home. Despite that, her little sister would just quietly wait for her Papi looking forward to seeing him always.
His mom died without him by her side. He wasn't even able to say 'Good bye' to her properly; or maybe he was too coward to face her in her death bed; smiling at him with her last strength and telling him her last words as she takes the last breath of her life. It may be too painful for him to bear.
He preferred to be known as the villain.
Realizing all these things, I began to think, Then he's capable of falling in love?
I finally raised my head and faced him once again, Nah. Impossible. "Don't get my hopes up, Kamui."
I tilted my head once again and tried reaching out into his cheek using my left hand.
"It feels so warm." I said as my palm rested on his face.
After a couple of seconds...
Wait. Isn't this too warm? Eh? Don't tell me...
I began examining him. That's when I noticed his flushed face and heavy panting. I tried comparing his temperature with mine. Yeah, positive.
"It's fever." I just let off a sigh, "I thought idiots don't catch colds? Wait...Are Yatos even capable of having fever?"
So he wanted me to be his private nurse, huh? I sighed once again.
I looked for anything that could help him ease his fever. Thankfully there was a basin of water and a damp cloth underneath his bed. I took it out and placed it over the drawer. I also returned the things I took out from there.
"Guess I should try giving him bed bath first. Then I'll ask for meds later." I spoke to myself.
I dipped the cloth in the basin and twisted it to take off the excess water. I stood up beside the bed once again and placed my hands on my hips.
Wait. Then I have to take off his clothes?
"It can't be helped. It's not like I'm taking advantage of you Kamui."
I held the blanket and folded it to expose his upper body. And to my surprise, he was already half naked, with just his boxe- errr...pants on him.
He suddenly changed his position; he then faced the ceiling with his body lying flat on the bed. His right arm curved in a 45degree angle, his hand was forming like a cat's paw while his other arm was extending diagonally slightly curved with his hand having the same form as the other one. He was in the middle of the bed.
I knelt on the bed and started wiping the upper limb on his right side then to the left, frequently dipping the cloth into the water. And now, to his upper body.
I suddenly stopped. It was a disturbing sight for me. He may look girly but, his body is too manly. He had a perfectly toned chest combined with 6-pack abs. He really had some muscle in those parts and it was completely proportional with the size of his body. It was filled with sweats. Droplets of water trickling down as his chest having little movements going upwards and downwards for every breath he takes. He looked so hot and sexy and...
(Author: DIED)
"Now you've killed the author."
I leaned closer to him, but then he suddenly opened his eyes, and stared at me, "Mashiro?" he asked while still sounding so sleepy, his eyes half opened and his brows furrowed.
"Yes I am." I answered.
"Hug me." he suddenly demanded.
"I refuse." I replied staring seriously at him.
He suddenly raised his body, wrapped his arms on my neck and dragged me down the bed. He pulled me closer to his chest. My head was burying into his neck; my face completely feeling his flesh. My hands were placed in his torso formed like a paw. He finally took his hands off me while I slightly raised my head to have a glimpse of his face.
Now that I think about it, the AC is on, so what's the point of wiping his body when he'll just feel colder?
I just rested my face into him once again; feeling his body.
He's just too sexy. What the hell.
He lifted his body all of a sudden, he was half asleep. He got the blanket and covered it to the two of us then laid in the bed and continued his sleep.
He gently grasped my head pulling it towards his neck. He leaned his cheek into me; I just hugged him.
Before I knew it, I fell asleep in his arms.
oooo
After a couple of weeks..
I was given a mission and it was in the land of Yatos; my homeland. They didn't give me more details but just told me to come here and wait for someone. I just knew it, something's not right with this mission. I mean whenever I would be passing by, they would be talking about something and I know it concerned me. I was also not given missions these past few weeks and when I tried refusing this they kept on insisting me to do it without giving me any sound reason. Well, I just took it.
"What a nostalgic place this is." I spoke.
I was just standing there, the same place where I first met him. I held an umbrella and began scanning the place. Nothing had changed. It looked the same when I last saw it. I just rotated the handle of my umbrella to keep me entertained.
This is where it all began, and I could vaguely guess that...this is where it would end.
Another presence came. I stopped with my movements to have a look on that person. I guess I didn't need to do that, I just knew who it was.
"So it's you huh? Captain."
He was approaching me. As always he held an umbrella and that endless smile plastered into his face.
"Ohh...That's the first time you called me Captain." He replied.
"This will be the last anyway." I just said.
He finally reached me, now he was standing in front of me.
I looked up on him, "Let me guess, the higher ups finally discovered that I am the daughter of the traitors, right? The ones who just left Harusame without a word then tried fleeing from this place, my parents."
"I thought you didn't care about that?"
The overwhelming sound of the rain didn't stop us from talking with each other.
"I got curious a bit and researched for it. You should be punished too, right? You knew that all along but you still took me in."
He was looking down on me.
"So that's why I'm here, right?"
I just gave a sarcastic grin, "Then you'd be my grim reaper, huh? But you love killing people don't you."
*SWISH*
Right after that conversation, he just swung his umbrella towards me and I did the same; both our weapons clashing into each other.
And so, the battle began. Even getting drenched by the rain, we didn't care. We just fought each other treating each other as enemies. Attacking, dodging, deflecting, jumping into the air, sprinting towards the other; we were like dancing. He's on the upper hand, I know it myself that I can never beat him. He's too strong for me, but I still decided to fight him since this will be the end.
But there's something weird about him, he may be hitting me but not on my vital parts. I thought he would defeat me easily, but I'm even on par with him. I finally realized that he's not taking me seriously. He came here without the thought of killing me.
Then what did he come here for?
Spacing off, he had shot both my limbs. I just fell on the soil with the mud splattering as I laid there. Seeing that I have fallen, he walked towards me while pointing his umbrella on my head.
"Shooting me would be easy, right? You've done this countless times after all." I told him.
He didn't move and just stood above me.
"What? You're sparing the life of this little girl again? Since when did you care about one's life?"
He then knelt with both his knees on the sides of my abdomen.
He gave me a smile, "I was having second thoughts, seeing how you put up a fight a while ago. You're quite strong you know? And here I thought you would just stand there and let yourself be killed right away."
"Just a little entertainment won't hurt."
"Perhaps that is your revenge, huh?"
"If you want it that way, then at least I'd die for my parents 'sake."
I just closed my eyes as I felt the metallic end of his umbrella coming near me. Once again, I felt that emotion of accepting my death at that moment.
But a thought suddenly crossed my mind, there was something I had to do before dying.
"Ne Kamui, would you let me have my death wish?" I said, and that moment he stopped his movements.
"I don't mind. This is your reward for giving me entertainment a while ago." He came closer to my face, "So, what is it?"
"Answer my question with honesty."
"Okay."
It's not like I was hoping for something, but I thought that maybe I should hear it from him before I die.
I closed my eyes and took all the courage I had inside me and finally, I opened my eyes. Looking at his face, I was more convinced that I had to do this. These feelings inside me were overflowing at that moment, I couldn't stop it anymore. My eyes completely locked onto his, filled with sincerity, and asked..
"Did you ever love me?"
He changed his expression hearing that question, he just grinned with sarcasm plastered in it.
"Heh." He said, as he seized both my hands; just like what he always do. This time he held it with much more force than the usual, like he wouldn't want to let them go.
Without any more notice, his lips came crashing into mine. It was not as gentle as before, it was like he's forcing himself inside me. His kiss went deeper into my mouth, biting my lips and producing blood once again. I closed my eyes and felt his lips into mine. It lasted for a couple of seconds.
He finally pulled away while he took off his hands from me. He stood up and stared at me with those psychotic eyes he had when having this urge to kill someone. It looked so creepy.
"You should already know the answer." He said and turned his back on me, "I don't need such absurd emotion."
And he just walked away from me; once again leaving me behind in the middle of the rain.
Even with the intensity of the rain, I felt my tears gushing down to my face. I was crying. Not because he left me, or because of what he told me, but because, that guy...He was crying as he kissed me. He may say those words, but that salty taste I felt can never fool me.
"Why do you always want to be the bad guy here?" I covered my face with my arms, and closed my eyes, "He's such an airhead."
From then one, I buried these feelings I have for him and pretended to hate him. I'm quites sure that he would do the same.
I just want to share the same pain as him.
oooo
*blink blink*
Mashiro finally woke up from her afternoon siesta. After that talk with Abuto, she just came to her HQ and slept there. She rose from her bed while still clutching on her blanket. She stared blankly on the wall in front of her.
"Dreaming of the past, huh? Now that's rare." She spoke to herself.
She searched for her glasses which were on the table next to her bed. She wore it to have a better vision of her surroundings. Then she stood up and decided to go outside her room.
While walking...
She walked mindlessly. She had been thinking about her dream; she just couldn't get it out from her head.
"Ahhh...What the hell. Eating up a whole chapter just for unnecessary flashbacks?" She let off a big sigh, "Don't blame me if things get bad."
She kept on walking and suddenly bumped into tried looking up to see that person, "Ah...Sor-"
She was not able to finish her words since it was stopped by a kiss. She just felt lips brushing against hers and a hand holding her waist and her wrist. She didn't need to look at his face and check who it was, she just knew it.
He pulled away from the kiss, and looked down on her, he was smiling, "Mashiro."
"Kamui." I spoke.
And now, he appears. Yeah, just great.
Hai~ chapter 11! Was the wait worth it? Or not? *gloom* Yeah, I understand you if you hate this chapter or you'd feel disappointed. It didn't have any OkiKagu moments and didn't even answer the mysteries last chapter; it also had no hilarious moments. Too different from the usual ,ne?
But I really just want to write this side story. Well, this has been planned way before I discovered the KamuNobu pairing.
Greetings to all my fellow writers in Gintamaaards; a group in FB, I guess?: kurasuchi, mazzal, mhizukie, rinho,
Love ye all~ and I'm so happy to have met yah~
Thanks for all the reviews! Just R&R if you don't mind.
P.S. I got lazy editing some parts so I'm sorry for the mistakes here.