Chapter 10

Edward forcibly pushed me back towards the driveway. My feet stumbled as I tried regain the balance that was lost. The snarls that were coming from the doorframe were enough to petrify me into staying still.

James barreled out of the house and charged at Edward. I attribute the paranoia to explain what happened next. My focus wasn't necessarily on the fight itself. It was more of my imagination of the fight. All I could picture was two cartoon dogs fighting in the alley and all you can see are squiggly lines, dust, and a paw here or there. You could even thrown in some Batman slangs with "Pow," and "Bam." I was seriously considering that I was going crazy.

I heard a crack as I saw Edward being flung into the forest and a tree breaking in half at impact. James briefly looked at me before running back towards Edward. I couldn't think of anything that I could that would keep him from killing Edward.

I felt a pair of arms pull me away into the house and up the steps. We were moving so fast that I knew it was a vampire. I looked into my captors eyes and saw Jasper, my savior. I buried my head into his shoulder, crying. I just wanted this to end. I'd all but forgotten about James, but just knowing he was in my house made everything to real.

My head spun and gradually, without warning, I felt myself sinking into a black abyss. I managed to open my eyes slightly and look upon Jasper. He was watching me carefully, "Sleep Bella."

I tried to fight his stupid gift, but there was no use. I was too far gone to attempt it.

And so I slept.

My eyes stuttered open, everything was hard to focus. I tried remembering what had happened before I blacked out. I saw two amber eyes, but they weren't Edward's. A feeling of dread was about to wash over me as I struggled to remember.

No, not Edward's, they were Jasper's. I shot up out of my bed too fast, and my head began to spin. I steadied myself by sitting on the edge of the mattress, and focused on the room not spinning.

"Edward?" I whispered. I could see that it was dark outside, and my eyes hadn't completely adjusted. When I opened them, I saw that I was no longer in the clothes that I wore earlier, I was in my pj's. Why couldn't I remember anything?

"Don't worry. Alice changed you." Edward's voice was rough and I could tell it was something bad. He seemed really stiff in the rocking chair that he loved to encompass. With a surge of energy, the day's events rushed to the forefront.

"James?" I remembered seeing his blonde hair neatly tied back blur past me.

I heard Edward's throat clear, and I didn't know whose benefit he was doing that for. Since I made it known that I knew that he was a vampire, he gave up the pretenses around me. The only aspect of his vampire life that he kept from me was hunting. Something was really bothering him.

"He got away."

I looked around for my clock and saw that it was two in the morning. My alarm would be going off in a few hours for the first day of school.

"What about Charlie? How did he get so close? I thought that Alice was looking out for him." I knew that Edward nor his family would have let me sleep the entire day if something had happened to Charlie, at least I tried to take comfort with that hope. It did nothing to quench the panic that I felt rising up in me.

"Charlie is fine. He's in his room sleeping. As far as James, we think he managed to slip in the house while Alice was fretting over losing us in her visions. She was so focused on that one thing that everything else dropped. It was dumb luck on his part. But it'll never happen again." His voice took on a dark cadence but I ignored it.

"Well, don't make her feel bad, Edward. And besides, you were there to protect me. Everything will be ok." I had a terrifying sense that I was comforting myself more than him. I crawled into his lap and he started playing with my hair. My face curled naturally into his neck and I started placing delicate kisses in the curve of his chest and neck.

"Stop." Edward whispered, but the moan that escaped his lips told me to continue. Which each kiss his hands inched around my waist. Instantly, I was laying on my back, with Edward on top of me.

We'd never talked about having sex, and I always assumed that it would be out of the question. Obviously I'd never been intimate with anyone, human or vampire, but if Edward was ready, then I was too.

Edward pressed his lips into mine, our mouths working together in harmony. He pulled our kiss deeper and deeper, and continued. It wasn't something I'd expected considering he was always concerned about going too far. If it wasn't for the need to breathe, I didn't want the kiss to end.

"I'm sorry. I should go. You need your rest for school." My eyes squinted at the sudden change in attitude from him.

"Will you be picking me up?" Towards the end of school last year, I was accustomed to Edward picking me up for school. My big truck sat lonely in Charlie's driveway.

"It's going to be too sunny, we can't risk it."

I nodded my head and without any other objections, Edward kissed my forehead and jumped out of the window.

I stared after him for what seemed like forever before sleep took over me again. This was not going to end well.

Exhaustion bested me and I could no longer keep my eyelids open. My body slid into oblivion and before I knew it, sunlight.

I didn't bother rushing through my morning routine, I was on my own today. After drying my hair, I let fall on my shoulders. I picked out the outfit that Alice specifically bought for the first day of classes. She wanted me to layer two camisoles; one white and the other black, underneath a one-sleeved sweater. Of course it was in Edward's favorite color, blue. With some dark rinse denim and my black chucks, it was an easy outfit, a compromise with Alice. She wanted a skirt and heels, but when I threatened to burn her closet, she saw reason.

Downstairs, I walked into the kitchen to find Charlie making his renowned scrambled eggs and bacon.

"You and Edward having problems?" Charlie asked from behind his newspaper.

"Why would you ask something like that?" I shoveled some egg into my mouth, half annoyed that Charlie somehow noticed that something was off, and half upset that he was right.

"You didn't do anything yesterday. It was about three thirty when I came home and you were already in the bed sleeping. Actually, I wouldn't even call that sleeping. Bella you were screaming for Edward and some guy named James. It wasn't until about six that your screams tapered off into sobs."

"James is someone I used to know, years ago. He recently moved to the states and has been contacting me. He showed up yesterday, and he started a fight with Edward. That's all."

"That's all? That's all you have to say about some guy I've never heard of being in my town, stalking my daughter!" I watched as Charlie's face turned different shades of colors.

"Dad, he wasn't stalking. And the fight was more of a pissing contest than anything. Both parties are fine, and James ended up leaving Forks. There's nothing more to tell." I threw out the rest of my breakfast, no longer holding an appetite.

"I'm going to be late for school."

"Bells, I'm sorry if I upset you, forgive your old man?" I nodded and gave him a peck on his cheek. He walked me to my truck, probably only to see my truck move from its permanent spot in the driveway.

"Don't worry about it," I mumbled as I got into the cab of the truck. I started the engine up and chuckled at the difference in sound compared to the Volvo, though it was still much quieter than the Chevy that Charlie had originally purchased me.

I didn't even bother turning the radio on, I wanted complete and utter silence, even though it was deafening. Clouds in the sky were forming, picking up a grey tone to it with each passing minute. Tears started rolling down my cheek the closer I got to the school. The only thing I felt was betrayal; Edward had said it was going to be too sunny, but the clouds looked like they were only getting started.

There was a sense of dread that hovered above me that I couldn't shake. It didn't matter who greeted me, Jessica, Angela, Mike, Tyler, even Lauren came up and gave me a hug. Teacher's called on me to answer their questions, and it was like I wasn't fazed. I was an empty shell that knew something bad was going to happen.

That feeling was confirmed when I finally made it home and I saw Edward leaning against the Volvo in Charlie's spot.

"You could have come to school today." I said as I climbed out of my truck. There wasn't any homework issued for the day so I just left my bag sitting in the passenger seat.

"Take a walk with me." Edward's crooked smile tried to reassure me, but since it didn't reach his eyes, it looked wrong. His hand waited midair for me to grasp his in mine, and when our hands met, he entwined our fingers.

"How bad is it?" I asked, not even wanting to take my eyes off of him, I let him lead me into the forest by my house.

Edward continued walking, without a word. He was careful to keep me on the trail and in the sights of the house. His face was a stone, and I couldn't tell what he could possibly be thinking. Edward's eyes were pitch black, and I blushed when he continued to stare at me in silence. Never once did he motion that he was going to answer my question.

"They're gone, Bella." My brows furrowed in confusion, who was he talking about? Maybe he got rid of James, but then again, why would he say 'they?'

"My family. We're leaving. Our world is too dangerous for you to be involved. Look what happened yesterday."

"Edward, stop! James wasn't the first vampire that's tried to kill me." I held up the scar on my hand to remind him how idiotic he was being.

"Bella, no. Your family sent you here to live a normal life to separate you from theirs. It would be selfish of me to ignore that."

"I'm coming with you."

"I don't want you to. I don't want you. It was a stupid bet from Jasper and Emmett. I never wanted you."

He said the very words I'd never thought I'd hear from him. He didn't want me, he never did. Immediately, I could see him and his three brothers sitting in the den, bored out of their minds. One of them mention me to Edward, and initiate a bet.

I took a step back away from him, the monster that stood before me. "A bet? You were all in on it?" I couldn't imagine Carlisle and Esme knowing about the prank of their sons. What about Alice? Did she only pretend to be my friend, my best friend?

"No. It was just us three. But everyone agreed that we couldn't put you in danger any longer. We're leaving to avoid that. You can no longer be in our world. It's what's best for you."

"Shouldn't I decide what's best for me? Make me a vampire!" I demanded. I didn't even care that I was stomping my foot like a two year old. "We can be together." My words came out as a whisper.

"I won't be together with you anymore Bella. Everything was a mistake. Promise me this, you won't run off to your family in Italy and make them change you. Charlie would be devastated that he lost you so soon to finding you."

"You're worried about Charlie. What about me? What about us?" My mind was refusing to let go of Edward, despite the heartache and his words.

"There. Is. No. Us. It'll be like me and my family never existed."

Edward took a step towards me, his arm raised to reach for me, and I froze. I could feel myself breaking down, and there was absolutely nothing that I could do about it. I looked up into his face, and I could see that he was fixing it to give me a kiss.

"No!" I backed away from him quickly and held my hands out on instinct. I knew I was hurt, but it wasn't until I heard the growl in my voice that I knew I was mad. "Don't touch me ever again. If you want a clean break, then do it. Don't give me a Judas' kiss."

We stood facing each other in silence for what seemed like an eternity. My teeth clenched and my eyes felt like they were on fire. Edward had hurt me and he knew it, but I refused to let him see me cry.

"You're right. Forgive me." There was no one in front of me. He was gone. In the first moment that I realized I was alone, it was then that I broke down. I fell to my knees, distressed that my first love had lied to me all this time. I was merely a bet.

My heart kept trying to reason with me, soothe me by saying he only said those things so that I could move on without him. He wanted to protect me, and the only way I'd let go was to lie to me, though he was in love with me still and always.

"Did you not hear what he said?" That was the only thing my mind had left to scream at my stupid heart. I wanted nothing more than to try to run after him but I knew there was no use.

I cried the rest of my tears on the forest floor and made my way back to the house. Thankfully, Charlie wasn't home yet so I called the station.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Charlie asked hurriedly with worry.

"Nothing, dad. I'm fine, I guess. Just tired. I was just wondering if you could pick up a pizza. I'm pretty beat."

Charlie took his time answering me, knowing I wasn't a fan of the pizza here in Forks. After a hesitant pause of one minute, Charlie finally spoke up.

"Sure kiddo." It was so easy to please him. He asked me how my first day went and thankfully he didn't have any questions about Edward.

I couldn't stand the thought of being alone in my bedroom, but I didn't want to sit alone downstairs. Every room of this house had a few memories of Edward, except the bathroom and Charlie's room. Regardless, I dragged my feet to my bedroom, fell into the bed, and buried my head in my pillows.

But it was too much. His scent lingered in the sheets and my pillows and it was unbearable. Clean break my ass. With a sudden boost of energy, I hopped out of bed and stripped the mattress of my comforter, sheets, and pillow cases and threw them into the wash. I swapped my pillows for two that were in Charlie's room and brought down fresh linens from the closet.

I opened the window to allow what little was left of his scent would vanish with the wind, though I didn't leave it open for long since the temperature had changed.

I laid back on the bed and thought of nothing but Edward. I prayed that this was going to be the only night I mourned for a love that meant absolutely nothing.

And then I drifted to sleep.

October.

November.

December.

January.

"All right now, what is going on with you?" Charlie huffed when I returned home from work one evening. I had picked up a job at Newton's Outfitters, home of the best camping gear in the Olympic Peninsula.

Mike had mentioned one day how his family's store was going to be hiring and I told him I wanted it. I started working there in the middle of November. His mom was delighted that there was another female working there. I wasn't too knowledgeable about the equipment that they sold, but it was something to do.

"What do you mean?" I asked. Charlie was sitting in the corner of the living room watching me start to prepare dinner.

"You've barely stopped moving since the Cullen's left. The only time you're still is when you're sleeping. You ain't on any drugs, are you?" He looked at me skeptically.

"God, Charlie, no. I'm not on any drugs. I just want to keep busy that's all." I wasn't even lying to him then.

The first night I was practically catatonic with the pain that accompanied a love lost. But I was determined. But after that night, I refused to cry another tear for Edward or the Cullen's for that matter. I was just a human pawn, they made their own decisions, and it was time I made my own as well.

To keep myself busy, along with the job at the store, I also changed my schedule to include more AP classes, and I was also tutoring some of the students in Italian and Calculus. I kept the dreams and nightmares away by taking Nyquil every night, without Charlie knowing. I could still feel the pain but no one would ever know it.

"And why do you feel the need to be busy? Bella, this isn't healthy for you. You're body will need the rest eventually, you can't keep this marathon up. Now I know it's because of that boy leaving, and believe me I'm much more glad that you're like this," he raised his arms at me to bring attention to my actions. "…than say a zombie."

I didn't realize that I was feeling so antsy. I thought I had everyone fooled into thinking I was over Edward. Of course my sudden status change only made some of the guys at school think I was open to the dating scene again. With each invitation to the school dances, dinner, or the movies, it felt like I was the new student again.

"Well, are you sure you don't want me as a zombie? I can do that. I'll quit everything and just go through the motions. Because that's what it seems you want. You keep saying that it's not healthy, but I'm functioning the only way I know how to function!"

"Bella, easy. Calm down. I'm only trying to look out for you darling. I just want what's best for you."

I heard his words echoing in my head. They were swirling around, making me dizzy enough that I dropped the cucumber I was about to peel.

"You know what, maybe I will go to bed early." My words were just above a whisper and I didn't even wait for a response from Charlie. I just turned in the direction of the steps and headed towards my room.

Charlie's words struck a chord with me. The last four months, five if you counted September, I'd managed to keep my mind off of that horrible day. I was successful until Charlie said the same words that Edward had said to me.

I fell asleep crying, wishing everyone stopped worrying about what was best for me. I had my first nightmare that night.

The wind was blowing my hair as the guard was standing behind me, but I couldn't see their bodies. I only knew they were there by the sea of red eyes that were shrouded by the deep robes of the Volturi. I could see I was still human by the color of my eyes, but my skin looked just as flawless as a vampire's skin.

I lifted my left hand pointing, accusing, a large circle of about twenty people, no vampires. I tried looking into their faces, but I couldn't, a shadow was blocking them from me. My hand stopped moving, parallel to the floor, and a ring of fire started consuming the vampires one by one. It wasn't until their screams that I recognized who some of them were. The Cullen's.

"What have I done?" I screamed! But when I turned to look at the guard, I was no longer standing on the platform, but now I was in the middle of the fire. A piercing noise rang through my entire body and it took me a minute to realize that it was my own screams that I heard.

I woke up with a start and slammed my hand on the alarm clock. My breathing was shaky as I tried to calm myself down. I waited a few minutes to regulate my heartbeats before getting out of bed. Today had to be a good day to counter last night, I kept telling myself. I hoped that I could believe my own lie.

I didn't care what I wore to school today, it was Friday and the dark sky matched my mood, so I chose my dark grey sweat pants and a dark blue tank. I threw on a yellow hoodie, my denim jacket, and white sneakers and walked downstairs.

"Your nightmares are starting up again." Charlie said while pouring a cup of coffee.

"Thanks for stating the obvious." I grabbed my books and placed them in my school bag.

"Look dad. I get that you're worried about me. But I've let go of Edward, and I'm moving on the best way I know how. Maybe I am keeping busy to avoid the pain, maybe I'm not. So if it makes you feel better, I'll quit working at the store."

"Aww, baby, I don't want you to quit. I just, I think maybe if you're holding on to whatever pain you're feeling and then covering it up with busy work, maybe you need to speak to a therapist."

"I don't need a therapist. What I need is to go to school." I took a piece of toast off of the plate that sat in front of Charlie, and shook my bag onto my shoulders.

I'd decided that I was better off just continuing my previous plan of acting as if nothing was wrong. It's worked so far. Even though up until last night, I had convinced myself that I was fine. Eventually I needed to figure out if I really was fine.

I turned the radio up loud enough so that I couldn't think. It was something that had become part of my routine to keep me from thinking. Obviously when I was left alone to think, I thought of them more. I knew I would need to sooner or later, but I'd prefer as late as possible.

The parking lot was pretty full so I had to look for a spot towards the back of the lot. I waved to everyone as I walked towards the building. I stopped to talk to Jessica and Mike who were hanging out by Tyler's car. Jess tried filling me in on the latest gossip of Forks High, but Angela thankfully saved me from stories that she's probably heard already.

We walked together to our Calculus class, something neither of us were too pleased to have any type of math for first period. Angela was already scheduled for this class, this was one of the classes that I switched to.

"Have ya'll seen the new guy yet?" Ben, Angela's boyfriend asked when he grabbed a seat behind us.

"There's a new student?" I asked. I was the last new student that the high school had, and some people still treated me like I was the hot commodity. Lauren swore that it was only because I was from Italy that made me so exotic. If there was a new student maybe it could help alleviate some of the stares that still came my way.

"Yeah he's not registered yet, he's folks aren't sure if they're moving here yet, and Principal Green allowed him to attend classes to see how he likes the curriculum or something." Ben seemed amazed since that wasn't something that really happened every day.

"If someone had a choice, I wouldn't come to Forks." Angela mumbled under her breath so that only me and Ben heard her.

"Yeah I hear you. The first chance I get I'm out of this town. I already have my acceptance to the University of Washington. Where are you going Bella?" Eric materialized next to Ben and took his seat.

I let out a sigh, "I'm going back to Italy. I'll be at the Universita degli Studi di Roma."

"La Sapienza?" I looked at Angela like she was crazy. "What don't look at me like that. I kind of always wanted to visit Rome, never thought of going to school there, but it's the largest university in Europe. There's a lot of history there, and I read a lot."

Ben and I laughed at Angela as she feigned like she was hurt. Mr. Tarro came into the classroom and started class.

I prepared myself to be bored out of my mind for class, but moments after Mr. Tarro started the lesson, Principal Green entered the room. He whispered in the ear of Mr. Tarro, and he did not look happy about whatever it was.

Finally, Mr. Tarro had a resolved look and nodded his head.

"Eric?" Principal Green's loud voice brought everyone to attention including the pimply kid that was sitting behind me. Eric looked up and everyone could see that he was confused as to why he was being called.

"Eric, I am placing under your care a prospective student. Now I want him to follow you around for the day since you're the class president. Come on in son." Mr. Green waved the boy into the room.

I could hear every female sucking in their breath, waiting to see the mysterious new student. I could tell many of them were hoping that he was single, and cute. The guys were probably hoping there was a sister not too far behind in age.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me."

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