a/n: I hereby declare the revisitation of yet another excellent Count Duckula episode: Mississippi Duck.

This is as far as my poetic talents go with the coffin verse. Enough; and more than enough!

MISSISSIPPI MADNESS (Part One)

Amidst the looming and glowering peaks of Transylvania stands a castle. Not just any castle. This is Castle Duckula. From within come strange, unfamiliar sounds, drifting eerily to the ears of the local inhabitants.

Duckula woke up late after midday feeling incredibly refreshed. He'd had the best sleep he'd had in well over a month. He stood in front of the empty mirror putting on his clothes remembering his conversation with Emily last night.

Emily's eyes were watering in laughter as she topped up Duckula's empty glass. "No way did he say that; Igor hates fresh air."
"Yes, way! And so he opens it, and all that can be heard is 'aaaargh' and then ..." he took a swig of his drink.
"Thunk?"
"Thunk, thunk thunk! Four for the four of them, hitting the deck. So then I politely ask Igor what the noise was to see if he'd tell me the truth of what Igor'd just done and all he says is, I mean I describe the sound of it to him, and ... 'that'll be Nanny making pastry, Milord'!"
Emily keeled over laughing. "Oh, that's wicked." Emily got control of herself after a few moments. "I've never laughed like that since Jareth's dentures fell out."
"Jareth?"
"The ... he was a ... lion. Jareth the lion." Emily blushed. "He was an old softy."
Duckula blinked at her. "I'm not sure if you could ever call Igor that."
Emily smiled at him. "No; it's you. You remind me of Jareth. I don't know why. I guess ..." She chuckled, "you look at me like he did. Like you don't know what to expect."
"Frankly I don't know what to expect from you," Duckula admitted. "Wait a minute, so how do you know this lion called Jareth?"
"Oh ..." Emily blushed. "Well, I was ... um ... he was with the circus."
"Oh." Duckula sighed longingly. "I love the circus."
Emily gazed back at him. "So do I."

"You're not the way I pictured a vampire to be." The words slipped out of his mouth and the count instantly regretted it.
"You haven't met many other vampires?"
"No, well .. the odd one ... a few ... relatives."
Emily stared at him in surprise. "I'm surprised all three of you aren't completely insane from living up here all alone for so long!"

Emily took his hand. "Look, Ducky, let me tell you a really important thing about being a vampire." She leaned in closer to him. "Vampires need people." She blinked in confusion at him. "What's the matt-? Oh anyway. What I'm trying to say is that you're missing out on so much of the world." She shrugged. "I mean; there are some people out there who are so full of life that their company is like a Christmas feast in itself." She pulled away from him. "You are an intelligent vampire. Talk to your food. You may find you don't even need to eat it before you're done because you're so full on fun."

Duckula sighed, a comfortable blanket of warm feelings wrapped around him and he looked at her in total adoration.

"Oh, good mornin' Duckyboos. Good mornin' Miss Emily." Nanny lumbered into the room. "I suppose you'll be wantin' your breakfasts."
"Uh, no, Nanny." Duckula looked at the empty decanter on the table between him and Emily. "Thank you. Emily? How about you? Would you like breakfast?"
"Uh, no, I'm fine too."
"Oh, dear. You might be comin' down with somethin'."
"No!" Duckula jumped up to reassure her. "Nanny, we've had food."
"Oh." Nanny stared at him for several seconds. "Would you like a spot of tea then?"
"That's very nice of you to offer but no thank you, Nanny." Emily ventured. "I think I'd better get some sleep. I've kind of been up all night."
"Me too." Duckula added. "I'm going to bed. Good morning you two."

It was past noon now. As Count Duckula stepped out into the corridor outside his bedroom he realised that he was feeling so refreshed because his morning nap had been a dreamless peaceful blank. There had been no sound of a car engine that filled his nighttime slumber and no nightmarish clouds of vampire dust wafting in the breeze around him ... and was that ... music he was hearing right now?

Duckula's mind jerked back to the present. It was the sound of a violin in the hands of a master fiddler.
"Ragtime!" It was so real to his ears; Duckula found himself recalling the smell of the Mississippi, the sound of the street bands, the throngs of excited people.

"Emily likes the circus. She might like New Orleans." Duckula shrugged. "It's certainly one of my favourite places that I've been." He changed direction and headed to the guest rooms.

Strangely enough, the music was growing louder. He knocked on her door and with a jarring note, the music halted abruptly.

Emily appeared breathless at the door after a moment's delay. "I'm sorry; was that too loud?"
"This place is full of holes." Duckula advised her, then his eyes widened. "Was that you playing?"
She blushed. "My Aunt taught me when I was little and I don't go anywhere without it and, well, it was so quiet I felt like I was alone on the planet-but anyway, if it wasn't too loud what did you want to see me about?"
Duckula cleared his throat. "There's a ..." He closed his beak. "How about we all get out of this boring old place for a few hours?"
Emily blushed. "It's okay. I mean it's just really very ..."
"Gloomy, dark, depressing and dull." Duckula described his castle.
"Quiet. But it's also very safe. I feel so safe here." She gave him a community service smile. "It's not a place one can get into too much trouble."
"That's the politest way of saying 'boring'!" Duckula rolled his eyes. "How about we take a holiday from it?"

Emily opened the door a bit wider to consider his proposition. "Where shall we go?"
"I know just the place." He grinned at her. "But I'd like to keep it a surprise for you."

Count Duckula stopped at the kitchen where Igor and Nanny were sipping tea. "Come on, you two!"
"But I can't, Duckyboos!"
"I ... pardon?" Duckula blinked in confusion.
"I don't know any of their tunes. All that hard rock gives me an 'eadache." Nanny whimpered.
Igor looked up from his cup of tea. "I believe, Nanny, that the young master wishes to take Miss Artisia on a date, and he wishes us to attend as chaperone."
Duckula pulled a face. "That's not exactly what I meant, Igor."
"Are you so certain, milord?" Igor intoned quietly.
"Oo, where're we going then?" Nanny asked. "Somewhere nice with lots of flowers and shops?"
"Uh, no ..." Duckula frowned, feeling suddenly queasy with nerves, "I was more thinking somewhere with lots of water ..."
"Paris, there's water there. We can look at all them pictures."
"No, not the Louvre ..."
"What's the point of takin' an 'oliday if you're going to be doin' the 'ousework?"
Duckula felt his feathers prickling. "No, Nanny, L-ou-vre, not Hoover: the art museum in Paris. It's called the Louvre."
"Pardon?"
"No, never mind, Nanny, because we're not going there anyway."

"What's this 'ere place o' yours got then? Nice cobbled streets and an 'orse an' a carriage? A young lady would sure to fancy that."
"Uh-m-mud." Duckula found himself stumble on the word. "And we ... walk."
"Surely, sir, you can think of something ... more ... befitting a duck of your standing?" Igor frowned. "Especially when attempting to woo a young maiden."
"Look, Igor ... " Duckula said bitterly, "I am not trying to-." He cleared his throat, realising he was arguing out of habit. "Actually yes I am."
"How about the Romanian National Opera house in Cluj-Napoca? I hear they are currently having a Serata Musicala tonight."

"Igor," Duckula sighed. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy a place like that, but right now I don't want an orchestra; I want a jazz band. I want music that's overflowing with life. And fun." He folded his arms across his chest and translocated away.

Duckula stepped into the coffin in the basement.

"I yearn to hear the song on the river,
Where the brass sets the soul aquiver,
Where the sound creates the scene,
Take us now to New Orleans."