Chapter 11: Say something?
It has been a total of 9 days since Rachel came out of the hospital. She is recovering well, and I am making sure she gets the care she needs and to make her feel comfortable. I go out of my way to make her food, to clean the house, which I never, like in never do, I even make sure she gets the right medication at the right time. It shows how much I really fucking love her but she doesn't seem to think so. She thinks I'm only doing it because I feel sorry for her, she has been so depressed ever since she got back. I understand it's because of the accident but she has been taking it out on me and I don't even know why.
When she called me to go get her from the hospital everything was fine, but after that things started to go very wrong.
I literally apologise every single day for what I did, almost a thousand times, but she doesn't budge. All she replies is 'okay' or 'fine'. She doesn't even say that she loves me anymore. I don't get it. I thought she would be over the fight by now, but being the drama queen that she is, she is holding this grudge. And pretty hard.
A part of me thought it was because she has to stay at home until she feels healthy enough to go back on Broadway, and the doctors said to play it safe for another week at least. Just to make sure her brain doesn't bleed again. But then again, why would she take that out on me?
Through the whole taking care of Rachel thing, I have been pretty busy finalising the plans for my album and a few concerts that I have to do. She wasn't happy about that either.
All our friends visited her daily, and that was about the only time that she seemed happy, it was only when she was around me her mood dropped to zero. Something weird was going on and to be honest I was getting pissed about it. But still, I stayed and took care of her. I am such a pissy.
Rachel was in our room, I am not sure what she is doing, so I fix her some breakfast. Her favorite omelette, toast, strawberries and orange juice. I even went out to our garden to pick her favorite rose. I hope that she is in a better mood but I have a feeling there is a better chance that Hummel would turn straight. I push the door open and see her reading a book. She looks up at me for about one split second then her attention is turned back to the book.
"Hey babe. I made you breakfast." I place the tray down next to her, she says thank you, but so softly, if I was a few footsteps away I wouldn't have heard her. "Are you okay?" She didn't answer me. I was really getting frustrated. "Rachel-"
"What is it Noah?" She slams the book shut. What the fuck?
"Why won't you answer me when I talk to you? You have been doing this for the past 9 days. How am I supposed to be helping you when you ignore me and not even slightly appreciate what I do for you?"
"Just don't help me then."
"Just like that? Why can't you be the old Rachel? " She looks at me but no answer. "Say something please." I raised my voice. I could feel anger building up inside me, but when she just looked at me I turned around and darted out the room and escaped to the only place that seemed to calm me down. The music room.
I sit at the piano, softly running my fingers over the keys. I then find myself starting to play a song, and I sing.
Say something I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one if you want me to.
I felt like giving up. I got nothing from her, what was the point of holding on?
Anywhere, I, would've followed you
Say something I'm giving up on you.
I see Rachel standing at the door with the rose in her she walks in, she starts singing along. She stops at the other end of the piano. I look straight at her while I sing.
(Rachel and Puck)
And I, I'm feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all
And I, will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl
Say something I'm giving up on you.
She starts crying as she sings , something she does very well.
(Rachel and Puck)
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere I would have followed you
Say something I'm giving up on you
And I will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love and I'm saying goodbye
She sits down next to me, my heart is breaking.
(Rachel and Puck)
Say something I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere I, Would've followed you
Say something I'm giving up on you
Say something I'm giving up on you
Say something. ...
"So this is it?" She says softly, still holding onto the rose. "You are saying goodbye?"
"Rach I try my best to be good for you. You are obviously holding the fight against me, you are upset about it, I get it, but damn, don't take it out on me. I said sorry, I do everything for you, but you won't let me in. I just can't Rachel." Was I going to hate myself for what I said? I didn't know. But I had to get it out of there.
She places the rose down on the piano and kisses me on my cheek. "Goodbye Noah." As she walks away I could hear her crying. That's when I broke down. I let her go again, but we were drifting apart, what was I supposed to do? I remain frozen at the piano and after a few minutes I hear the door close. It was officially over.
xxx xxx xxx xxx
(Rachel's POV)
I never knew that I could hurt like this. My heart was completely shattered. A part of me knew this was going to happen, it was indeed my fault. I shouldn't have held it against him, but we were arguing way to much, and like he said we were drifting apart so what was the point of still holding on? I loved him with all my heart, I really did. I still do, in fact, I don't think I will ever stop loving him. I just think we both needed the time away from each other.
I was standing outside the gate, waiting for Kurt to pick me up. I didn't want to drive yet, I was too scared.
"You okay honey?" Kurt asks me as I get into his car. No I wasn't okay, but I wasn't ready to tell him what had happened. Heaven only knows the speech I would get and I really wasn't in the mood for it.
"Yes I am fine." He looks at me, opens his mouth to speak but closes it again. For once he knew when to shut up. Don't get me wrong I loved Kurt with all my heart, but there are times when I just feel like exploding when he talks.
The road to his house was quiet, he only talked about the trip he and Blaine is planning to go on, Paris, he said.
"So I am guessing I am not going to hear about what happened?" I look up at Kurt and see that we were already at his place. I was so lost in my thoughts.
"Kurt, I wish I could know know myself, after our fight that day of the accident, at least what I can remember of it, I got really upset you know. I know we both were in the wrong but the whole idea of us fighting all the time kills me inside. "
"You seemed fine with each other at the hospital."
I sigh. "It felt fine at that moment Kurt. The more I thought about it the more I realised how poisonous we are for each other. I didn't handle it the right way, I didn't treat him right the past few days but we need time apart. I don't want to lose him Kurt and I know I already did." I didn't want to go into detail, I already knew Kurt was on the same page and knew what happened.
"You were so perfect for each other." He gets out of the car and I follow. "Let's talk about that later okay. Right now we need to get you to feel better."
I agreed. I wasn't in the perfect health condition so being depressed and crying was not going to help me in any way. Blaine was inside watching Broadway shows that Kurt most probably talked him into watching. He patted the seat next to him, I leaned into him as Kurt was seated on my other side. Right then and there was when I couldn't control it anymore. The tears were flowing out of my eyes.
*Later that night*
(Puck's POV)
"When the days are cold and the cards all fold and the saints we see-" Fuck. I couldn't get it right. I was fucked up. Emotionally. I sat at the piano with the pen in my hand and the paper in front of me, I was sitting here for almost two hours and those were the only words I could get out. I felt the need to write a new song. Don't ask me why I just did.
I run my hands over my face. Why did it all go wrong? It wouldn't surprise me if my career took a turn for the worst as well, I fuck everything up in any way. I wasn't in the mood to mope around the whole day, so I decided to text all the guys from Glee (Except Blaine and lady pants), and Santana and Quinn. They weren't guys but Quinn was my bro and wherever she went Santana went. I wanted to get out and get drunk and forget about the fucking stupid pain that I had. It might seem weird that I was going out just after a break up but hey, being emotional and down was not for me.
I forget about the song for now, and get up to get dressed. I got a reply from Quinn and Santana, they were up for it. They were going to leave Beth by Mr Schue and Emma. They were leaving in two days. Sam, Artie, Mike, Joe, and Rory were up for going as well. I was going to forget about the pain and let loose, at least just for now.
A/N:Don't hate me! I know the idea of Puck going out the same day as the break up is a little weird but I wanted to write it as Puck just trying to forget the pain of losing Rachel for now, and there is more 'story' to it as well so please bare with me. What would you like to see in the next chapter? Thanks for all the reviews, it means a lot to me. :)