Author's note: I got over 100 reviews already, and I just wanted to tell you all thank you for your support and for reading my story! ^_^ I didn't think it would be this much loved, but I'm not complaining – it actually motivates me even more :D So thank you, once again, for your lovely reviews, and I hope you will continue to read my story and leave reviews for me! :)
Now, enough with my babbling, let's move on with the story XD Enjoy chapter 11.
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It was more difficult to be around Castiel now that Dean had finally admitted his feelings for the angel to himself. He could not stop looking at Cas in a somewhat different way now; how he bit his lip when he was concentrating, how his wings moved in accordance with his mood and how the feathers moved elegantly along with the wings, how content he looked while he was painting or drawing, and how he looked when he smiled, laughed or blushed. He loved how small Castiel looked compared to the dominant angels; Castiel was thin, shorter, less muscled, and when he wore tight pants it made his tail-less ass look even better.
Everything made Dean's stomach feel like there was a bunch of horny butterflies in it, trying to escape.
But his feelings made it even more painful for him to watch Castiel. Sooner or later the bond would fade and Castiel would find himself another mate after that – someone like himself, an angel, probably. The mere thought of Castiel being with someone else – someone else touching those pure, silken-soft feathers, and someone else giving the angel pleasure made Dean sick to his stomach.
He unconsciously glared at every male that dared to look at Cas for too long at a time, which gave him a lot of confused stares from others in return, but he didn't care. He didn't want anyone else looking at the angel while he was Dean's.
Castiel remained oblivious of Dean's feelings and staring.
A few days after he had realized his feelings for Cas, Dean came back to their room early because of cancelled classes. Professor Singer had gotten the flu.
When he opened the door to their room he saw met by the sight of Castiel sitting with his back to the door on a small stool with both of his large, magnificent wings spread out to each side while he was grooming them with a special brush.
When he heard the door open, the angel quickly folded his wings behind his back and rushed to stand up. When he saw Dean in the door he blushed heavily, and Dean saw a flicker of panic in the angels' eyes.
"I'm sorry, I thought you would still be in class," Castiel said, rushed. "I'm really, really sorry." He stood there like a child that had done something wrong and Dean couldn't help but smile at his cuteness.
Dean closed the door behind him and entered the room slowly, smiling at the angel. "Don't worry about it, I'm not offended or anything, if that's what you think?"
"Um, kind of, yes," Castiel confessed.
"Why would I be offended?" Dean frowned and dropped his bag on his bed.
"Because the, uh, dominant mate usually grooms his submissive's wings, it's like his, uh, marital duty and right, even before the bond is consummated. And I groomed my wings without you," Castiel explained clumsily; blushing furiously.
He blushed a lot, Dean noted.
Dean himself blushed a little at that information, suddenly remembering what Gabriel had once told him about him now being allowed to touch Castiel's wings whenever he pleased because of their bond. Of course, Dean would not take advantage of that, but he couldn't help but feel a spark of lust while thinking of those soft wings.
"Uh, we're not really the usual mates, are we? Besides, I doubt you'd want me to groom you," Dean said, shrugging a little.
Castiel blushed even more, if that was possible. "No, I don't. Touching my wings again is a bad idea."
It would only strengthen their bond.
"Yeah, no shit," Dean muttered.
Even though he wanted to touch them again.
"Besides, I wouldn't know how to groom your wings, anyway. I barely know how to groom my own," Dean added with a crooked grin.
Castiel gave him a puzzled look. "You can't groom your own wings?"
"I can and I do it sometimes, but I've never been very good at it," Dean shrugged. "My mom used to do it for me, and then Sammy helped me a few times. Now that I'm alone in college it doesn't go that well anymore, I don't have the patience for grooming my own wings."
"But… your wings don't look that messy," Castiel observed. His gaze travelled over Dean's sharp feathers, and Dean couldn't help but twitching them as Cas looked at them.
"Um, well, you can't really see it much right now with the sharp feathers, but when they are completely unsharpened they look rather messy," Dean explained. He wasn't sure if he felt comfortable talking to Cas about his wings – especially mentioning their totally unsharpened state, which he didn't show to anyone, ever. They looked embarrassing when they were soft.
"Oh," Castiel said, blinking. "I forgot they have a soft state."
There was an awkward silence again.
"So, uh, enough with the wing talk, this is getting really embarrassing and very unmanly," Dean finally said and saw Castiel nod in agreement.
Dean went off to the library to work on his thesis, and left the room for Cas to finish his grooming alone. He tried not to blush all the way down the corridor when thinking about Cas grooming his wings right now.
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The next day Castiel was outside, hiding under the shadows of the trees on a bench. The late October breeze was cool against his skin, but his sweater protected him from the worst cold. He was sitting with his sketchbook placed on the bench table in front of him, drawing. He was practicing his skills with shadows, and the shadows from the trees falling on the other benches and the green grass was a good place to start. Not that he couldn't draw shadows, but he thought he needed to improve his skills further and wanted to practice more.
After spending an hour drawing, he noticed that he was getting hungry and not being able to concentrate that well anymore. Gabriel would first be out of class in an hour and Castiel didn't want to go eat in the cafeteria alone, so he decided to walk around a bit until he could meet up with Gabriel.
Gathering his sketchbook and his bag, Castiel started walking around the school, trying to make time pass.
Somehow, Castiel had ended up in the college's garage used for students studying mechanics and technology. He blinked, wondering how he had ended up in this dirty, uninteresting place. Cars never really interested him much.
He turned to leave when he suddenly spotted two familiar wings behind the car that was placed just outside the garage. When the figure moved, Castiel saw Dean standing there, busy repairing the car in front of him. The demon was once again covered in oil and dirt from the car he was working on, and Castiel blushed a little. The sight of Dean dirty from car oil all over his clothes, skin and wings made him unable to look away. It was attractive, in a strange way.
Castiel watched as Dean was so busy working on the car that he didn't notice Castiel or anything else around him. The demon was humming happily and popped the hood of the car to look at the engine. He leaned forward over the engine, making his jeans-covered ass face Castiel who was standing only a few feet away. Castiel blushed and watched the demon's tail swing from side to side absently while he was working. The sharp, hardened wings glistered in the sunlight, and Castiel could see car oil covering several of the feathers. It made him blush again.
He liked watching Dean like this – so peaceful and so concentrated as he was doing something he enjoyed doing. Castiel smiled.
"He looks content, doesn't he."
Castiel jumped in surprise and looked to his side to see Sam standing there next to him, looking at Dean.
"Sam?"
Sam glanced at him. "Yeah, Dean and I are supposed to meet in half an hour. I came a little early," he shrugged.
"Oh."
They both looked back at Dean, who still hadn't noticed them and was still standing with his back facing them.
"Dean likes working on cars a lot. He always has. It makes him forget everything else around him and just enjoy what he likes to do," Sam said. Castiel looked at him. Sam continued. "He can be a real jerk sometimes and act tough and mean, but I promise you that deep inside he's sensitive, caring and loyal. I know that from experience." He turned to look at Castiel with a knowing smile.
Castiel blinked at him. "Why are you telling me this, Sam?"
"Because I know my brother cares about you, I can see it in the way he looks at you, and how the talks to you," Sam said. "And I know you like him as well." He grinned.
Castiel blushed and looked away. "No, I do not," he denied.
"You don't have to be ashamed of it," Sam said.
Castiel blushed. It was an awkward conversation to have with Dean's little brother, and he just wanted to hide somewhere.
Suddenly Dean turned around and spotted them. "Hey, how long have you two been staring at my ass?" he asked, grinning, walking over to them while he wiped his hands in a towel that was already black from oil.
"I don't know about Cas, but I wasn't staring at your ass," Sam deadpanned.
Castiel's face went impossibly red.
Dean laughed. "Yeah okay, Sammy, you don't have to embarrass the poor guy further. We've had our fair shares of being embarrassed lately."
"How come?" Sam asked, curiously; looking between the two like he knew something was going on.
"Not something for little kids' ears, Sam," Dean said, rolling his eyes, and reached out a hand to ruffle Sam's hair.
"Gah, I hate you," Sam snapped and swatted Dean's hand.
Dean laughed and then their tails entwined once again.
Castiel looked at them, curiously.
"Why are you here, Cas?" Dean suddenly asked, stepping away from Sam and frowning at Castiel. "I've never seen you at the garage before."
"Oh. I… I walked by, by accident," Castiel explained, shrugging a bit.
"Maybe Cas wants to join us when we're going out for dinner?" Sam suggested, grinning.
Castiel suddenly got a tense, nervous look on his face, and Dean too tensed up before glancing at the angel and then turning back to Sam.
"Uh, I don't think that's a good idea. Cas probably has things to do anyway," Dean said, knowing that things could only go bad if Cas joined them.
Sam frowned.
"Yes, I'm very busy today," Castiel lied, wincing at himself inside. "But thank you for your consideration, Sam." He smiled.
"Oh, I see," Sam said. He shrugged, "Maybe next time, then."
"Maybe," Dean said, glancing at Cas.
They parted ways and Castiel watched as Dean pulled his little brother close; catching him in a sideways hug as they walked, and then put his fist on top of Sam's head, drilling down, with Sam's head caught in the crook of Dean's arm. The smaller demon struggled and laughed, trying to push Dean off and slapping at him with his tail and flapping his wings, but the bigger demon was stronger and laughed at his younger brother's futile attempts to escape his teasing grip. He finally let go of Sam, and the younger demon shoved Dean, hard, who only laughed in response.
They seemed to get along very well, and the scene made Castiel smile once more.
Dean was so very different when he was with Sam or Jo.
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Dean and Sam headed into town to find a quiet place to eat and enjoy some brotherly time together. They were going to visit their aunt's house in the weekend, who lived a few miles out of town. They would spend the weekend there together.
They found a quiet diner downtown with not that many people in it. They got a table and sat down and ordered their respective foods when the waitress came to take their orders. Dean ordered a double bacon cheese burger with fries, and Sam had one of his usual healthy sandwich and a fruit salad. Dean grimaced at him when his food was served.
"Dude, you're going to turn into a rabbit or something someday," Dean said.
"And you're going to turn fat and die from heart failure, Dean," Sam retorted and took a bite from his healthy sandwich.
Dean snorted. "Rather that than being a rabbit."
Sam rolled his eyes.
They continued eating and Sam talked about how things were at home and how their parents had started arguing a bit more since Dean left. Dean was worried that would happen because now he wasn't around anymore and all focus was on Sam, and sometimes Mary and John had very different opinions on Sam's future. John kept urging Sam to find out soon what he wanted to be, and Mary kept telling John to take it easy and let the boy decide with time.
Sam also told Dean that he was crushing on a local girl named Jess. Dean teased him about it to no end and Sam was getting really annoyed.
"So, what's the deal between you and Cas?" Sam suddenly asked, turning the topic away from Jess.
Dean raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"Well, you obviously like him because you're so different around him than you usually are around angels," Sam explained. "And I've seen the way you look at him. You like him. A lot."
Dean bit his lip and looked down at his hands, which were currently folded in front of him on the table.
"The thing with Cas is… complicated, Sam."
"Why?"
Dean sighed. "Because… I think I love him, Sam," he finally said.
Sam's eyes widened. "But that's a good thing! Maybe he loves you back?"
"No, Sam, he doesn't," Dean said, firmly. "Not after what I did."
Sam went silent. "What did you do…?"
Dean told Sam about what had happened – him touching Cas' wings and creating a mating bond between them, how they had agreed not to talk much, and about how the bond would fade in a few months. Sam listened closely and let Dean finish before talking.
"Jesus, Dean. I can't believe you actually touched his wings in his sleep," Sam said. "Wings are very sacred to angels – particularly a submissive angel's wings. It's a violation against them to touch them…"
Dean groaned. "I know that, but it was a freaking accident! I told you I was just staring at them until I tripped. But still, Cas hates me for it… And to be honest, I don't really blame him… This is all my fault."
"Well, I don't think that Cas really hates you. I can see that he cares about you, Dean. When I caught him looking at you today, he had a very fond look on his face."
"Even if he did like me, Sam, I can never be with him," Dean bit out. "I've hated angels since I can remember and I've always been cruel to them, I'm selfish, stupid, have had sex with dozens of different people, and I'm a freaking demon and Cas is an angel – we're two different species. Cas doesn't deserve me, he deserves better."
"I think you should let Cas decide that, Dean," Sam pointed out. "Besides, you're not all bad. You're loyal to the ones you love, you're protective of them, and you care about people. I don't see a reason why he shouldn't love you because of that."
Dean sighed. "Jeez, Sam, you almost make me sound like a saint."
Sam grimaced. "Well, you're not." Dean snorted out a laugh. Sam continued, "I'm just saying that Cas does like you, even if he won't quite admit it. And I think you should give him a chance before you say that it cannot work out. I don't think you'd be bad for him, Dean, I think it's quite the opposite. And I think he would be good for you," Sam smiled. "Besides, angel/demon relationships are not really approved of, but they are not impossible – there are demons and angels that mate with each other, although rarely. And since when did you ever care about what people normally do and what they don't do?"
Dean pondered over Sam's words for a while.
They left the diner and took a cab over to their aunt's house for the weekend. They didn't discuss matters further but Dean kept thinking about it.
He still wasn't convinced that Cas actually liked him back, though.
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When Dean came back to the college on Sunday night, Castiel was long asleep when he entered their room.
He smiled fondly at the sleeping angel and locked the door quietly behind him. He walked over to Castiel's sleeping body and watched the angel lying on his side in fetal position, breathing softly with his lips parted. His wings were almost wrapped around him like a cocoon under the covers.
He looked so peaceful as he lay there; totally unaware that Dean was looking at him.
Feeling guilty for staring at Cas in his sleep, Dean retreated back to his own bed. He stripped down and slipped under the covers. He lay for several minutes, staring up into the ceiling and thinking before he finally fell asleep.
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Author's note: I hoped you enjoyed reading :)
In the next chapter Crowley will return and he will not be nice to Cas… just to let you know that something is going to happen in the next chapter, so don't freak out. I'm not going to tell more now.
Review please? :)