Title: On this Cross:

Disclaimers: Not mine

Warnings: Male x Male

Say hello on a day like today
Say it everytime you move
The way that you look at me now
Makes me wish I was you
It goes deep
It goes deeper still
This touch
And the smile and the shake of your head...

The Smashing Pumpkins, A Night Like This

Chapter Eleven

To put it mildly, Harry was completely and irrevocably confused. It was all centered around the boy nestled in a cocoon of blankets, his dark tresses fanned onto the pillow. Had Harry been asked a month ago if he would ever consider a relationship with another male, he would have more than likely sent a terrible curse at the misfortunate idiot who wanted to know. Now though, not only was Harry attracted to another boy, that boy was none other then Tom Riddle. The time had passed by quickly, bringing about awakening feelings that Harry never thought he'd have. Just the slightest touch from Tom sent a shiver along his spine and the most excruciating heat to well in his nether regions that foretold that he was in fact yearning for Tom.

Lord Voldemort, the incarnation of evil that Tom would become. The Voldemort that Harry knew had crossed the last line of humanity during 1945. After graduating, Voldemort murdered his father and began the arduous study of the Dark Arts that shaped what he was during Harry's time period. Something had to have occurred to cause the handsomely bewitching Tom to be molded into the serpentine Voldemort. For the young man with feelings to develop into a cruel, malevolent slayer. Harry wasn't knowledgeable with the Dark Arts nor did he have the faintest idea as to what one must sacrifice to the practice in order to fully gain the requirements to become a Dark Lord. Did one bargain with their soul in exchange for mastery of the skills? Had Voldemort completely eradicated the Tom Riddle personality, only to lose that which was his humanity? How, though, could Voldemort have extricated the Tom Riddle qualities? Harry had never heard of such a feat being accomplished and yet, it was the only conclusion that Harry had that sounded plausible but utterly impossible. Could Voldemort have been so venomous and angry that the Tom persona vanished on its own without any assistance from magic?

Harry stared at the slumbering figure. There was no denying the fact that Tom was on the verge of becoming Voldemort, that in those eyes was the soul of killer just begging to be released. He'd seen it several times and it scared him like nothing else had ever done. There was also no contradicting that Tom could be saved, that he was incredibly fragile. Harry had seen the gentleness and decency within Tom. Unless Tom was a mastermind at mimicry, Harry believed that Tom was in fact honest in all that Tom claimed he felt for him. Harry knew he should be ashamed for fraternizing with the man who had slaughtered his parents, Cedric, and countless innocents, with the man that had ordered Sirius's death but Harry couldn't. Tom was special, so different from any other person that Harry had ever met in his life. He made Harry feel without having to use a sham of happiness as he did frequently around his friends. How could he loathe someone that did that to him? Tom allowed him past barriers upon barriers that had been erected in order to keep people like Harry from seeing the real Tom Riddle and that was the sole reason why Harry chose to keep getting closer to Tom. The mission to discover Voldemort's weakness was no longer his objective. His intent was to prevent Tom from becoming Lord Voldemort, to change Tom's mind about becoming a benefactor of evil. It was already progressing into phenomenal proportions that was steadily turning into more then he could control, more then he wanted to control.

December seemed bleaker as the days passed by and Harry found he didn't want to return home with people that didn't understand him. Either they kissed the ground he walked on or they treated him like a child. The only two people he could speak to were Remus and Severus and even they held a golden halo on him. Yet, Harry knew he had to return to his time. Voldemort had to be defeated once and for all to put an end to his tyranny but could Harry do that? Could he actually consciously kill Voldemort knowing that he was once Tom Riddle? Would the sin of slaying Voldemort weigh heavily on his mind forever? But, Voldemort wasn't Tom any longer, was he? Would Harry's conception of time traveling be proved false, that there was not another dimension being created but that which was happening in the past was now affecting the present? Was Voldemort remembering a life he had had with Harry in 1945 while in 1999?

Harry sighed, pressing his fingertips to his forehead. There was no point ruminating over that which he did not have answers. "You're thinking too much." Harry jolted at the liquid silken voice that interrupted Harry's musings. Tom was grinning serenely at him from underneath the blankets that he'd become tangled in. "The more you ponder, the more likely you are to carry conversations with yourself or inanimate objects. I talk with myself constantly, just not aloud."

Harry smiled, ignoring the questions still lingering. "Is that so? Maybe I should get inside your head and see what all you talk about. I bet I'm the main topic." Cheekily winking, Harry slipped into Tom's bed and burrowed into the mess of blankets. "How did you know that I was still awake?" Harry inquired, crossing his arms in front of his chest and staring at the ceiling.

Tom yawned adorably. "It's something that I can tell. Call me insane but, it's almost as if we've been linked." Tom sighed, propping himself on his elbow in order to gaze at Harry. "I've been contemplating why I'm addicted to you, why I'm allowing myself to become a person that I thought had been lost long ago. Do you think it an odd notion that we could be linked by magic?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not familiar with any sort of magic that could link two people. I suppose the possibility isn't unachievable." Harry frowned at Tom. "Why? Do you know of any spells that can bond two people together?"

Tom nodded. "There are two that I know of. Vita Iugo, which simply connects two lives that doesn't necessarily have to deal with love. Friends can have Vita Iugo. Then, there's Vinculum Amor that brings two ideal partners together. Vinculum Amor occurs when two souls are intertwined, most often before either member are born. Vinculum Amor, when awakened, always disarrays' both participants conceptions, invoking thoughts that one would never have had before."

Harry pursed his lips. Yes, that sounded commendable but Harry already had a connection with Tom. The scar on his forehead bound him to Voldemort, however, not to Tom Riddle. Vinculum Amor would have joined Voldemort and Harry in the future, not just the past. A sudden thought dawned on Harry. Was Vinculum Amor the real reason that Voldemort's curse had been returned to him because they were bound and the magic wouldn't allow Voldemort to kill Harry? Was it just not fully awakened in Harry's time? Harry felt his stomach tighten. If Harry's hypothesis was true, then Voldemort and Harry were connected just like Tom and Harry. "Do you know any more about Vinculum Amor?"

"Vinculum Amor can take as short as a week to as long as a century to be invoked. There are certain versions of Vinculum Amor. The two main ones are either intense infatuation, which is the form we're experiencing and then there is the darker type. The darker mode causes enmity between the pair and results in a hatred that lingers for the remainder of both participants lives; if they live to old age, that is. The loathing is so deep that neither can settle until the other is dead."

Harry's lips parted in shock, confusion, and utter pain. Vinculum Amor explained the abhorrence that Harry and Voldemort felt for one another, the longing to destroy the other. It also clarified the severe passion that Harry and Tom were being subjected to. With Harry's time traveling to 1945, the lighter side of Vinculum Amor had been summoned. If Vinculum Amor was in fact the reason for Voldemort's curse being reflected, then the cause that Harry had been told for seven years was obliterated. His parents love had nothing to do with Harry being spared from death. Harry felt a tender hand on his chest. Tom's jade eyes were full of concern at Harry's unease. Harry felt his entrails knot further. Was this entire thing nothing more then a charade caused by Vinculum Amor? That all of the emotions that he and Tom were having were derived from magic, that it wasn't sincere?

Without a word to Tom, Harry sprinted from the bed and through the door.

..xxx...

The calm wind rippled the clear waters of the lake peacefully, quieting Harry's rapid pulse. He hugged his knees to his chest and watched disinterestedly at the mer-folk frolicking in the distance. The sun was peaking above the mountain range, the sky an artists' palette. It would be time for breakfast and then classes. He would have to face Tom soon and explain himself. To know that nothing he felt was factual, that it was all a lie from a spell. Magic being involved meant that Harry had not consciously felt, dare he admit, love towards Tom. It was magic being forced upon them both, forcing them to feel that which was not possible; that which made no sense at all. It cleared up why Harry felt the incessant urge to ravish Tom when a month ago he'd never considered kissing another boy. If it was only magic, why did Harry feel a void in his heart?

"Mister Potter, you are awake rather early. Is something troubling you?" Albus inquired, azure eyes twinkling in the morning sun. "Have your injuries healed?"

Harry nodded, not looking at the professor. "I'm fine. Actually, I want to ask you something and I'd appreciate the truth. How much about me do you know? How much has your future self told you?"

Albus chuckled, hands folding behind his back. "Ah. I see. You are wondering whether or not I can explain your fascination with Tom Riddle, are you not?" Harry kept silent. "Your Dumbledore has only told me about Tom's transforming into the Dark Lord Voldemort. Dumbledore only wishes you to be safe because he remembers what Tom was like; arrogant, haughty, cruel, cold, unmerciful. He is blind to the human side of Tom that Voldemort rid himself of. You have brought forth that human side, supplanting the Voldemort part as the submissive. I am being very selfish for allowing your and Tom's relationship to escalate into more then we all have bargained for. I know that in this time, after Grindelwald is defeated, that there will not be a Dark Lord for Tom Riddle will remain Tom Riddle." Albus smiled at Harry, seeing the boy's face lose some of the sorrow. "Your coming to the past has caused a rift in time. You were beseeched not to interfere, to only befriend Tom and learn his weakness. You have fallen in love with Tom and if I am not mistaken, that is to be said for Tom's behalf as well. Because of this, the future that is yours will remain status quo but the future that is mine will be much, much different. All that will happen, is now forgotten. Only myself and you know what should have came to pass."

Harry sighed, jaws clenching. "Then you're deliberately keeping me and Tom together for your own personal gain. You know all that has happened in the future from Albus so you know what is going to occur should Tom become Lord Voldemort."

"Yes, I know but I was wise enough to not intervene. You have done that deed for me though completely oblivious."

Harry rose to his feet, nodding. "I understand. Through me, your future is secured as are those that I have come to love in my time. I just wonder, how much will be changed in this age. After Grindelwald, the threats will be gone. I-"

"That is not your concern, Harry." Albus patted the boy's shoulder. "This is no longer your time. Now, I sense there is a question that you wish to ask me."

"Tom mentioned a spell called Vinculum Amor. Is that what we share?"

"Tom's a genius, an intellect whose mind prowess is beyond my own, even though he's much younger then I am. He was correct in assuming that Vinculum Amor is the cause for your intense obsession with each other and that your own assumptions regarding Lord Voldemort are in fact valid. However, you need not despair. In order for a binding spell to work, the two members involved must possess just an inkling of feelings for one another. You and Tom must have felt the beginnings of attraction the very moment you laid eyes on the other. That is the only way that Vinculum Amor could have made itself known. It works on either mutual attraction or mutual hate. In your case, you have both." Albus's eyes twinkled with more amusement. "You came here because you thought that it was only because of Vinculum Amor that you and Tom were interested in each other, am I right?"

Harry laughed, shaking his head at his folly. "I'm a fool. I didn't give Tom a chance to tell me the rest of what he knew about Vinculum Amor. I was hurt. It felt like all that I'd ever lived for had suddenly come crashing down on me. He must be mad at me. Albus, I need your honest opinion." One white brow rose. "When I leave for home, will Tom become Voldemort? Will all that I've been bringing forth from his soul be destroyed upon my abandonment? Is there no way that I can be with him when my time is through?"

"That is for you to decide. You know the answer. It's in your heart already. Now, I must be going to breakfast. I hear the Elves are making French Toast."

The answer in his heart... Harry's hand went to his chest, fisting. "The answer," Harry whispered. Yes, the answer was there but he didn't know if he had the courage to do it.

..xxx...

"Harry!" Romulus screeched, embracing the smaller boy cheerfully. "I'd thought with the way Tom's been pacing and rampaging that you were nothing more then a pile of ashes. We'd thought he'd killed you and from the look in his eyes, I was fearing the worst!" Romulus eagerly led Harry by the hand towards the Great Hall. "Septimus is already waiting inside. Anyway, what happened between you and Tom last night? A lover's tiff?"

Harry snorted, following the nonchalant boy into the Great Hall. "No, it wasn't an argument. I did something stupid and now I'm going to pay for it. Look, I'd like to join you and Septimus but I really need to talk to Tom. I'd rather not have him blow the school up, you know?" Romulus pouted. "I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I'll come with you tonight to the lake, alright?"

"Well...okay. I guess that can compensate. Try and drag Tom with you." Romulus winked, leaving Harry to roll his eyes at the go-lucky attitude Romulus had. Just like Sirius. Harry ignored the melancholy stealing through him at the image of Sirius that was produced. Happy, smiling, laughing and yet, Harry knew almost nothing about Sirius. Why on earth was he so sad about his death? They'd hardly had time to talk before he died. Most of what Harry knew about Sirius came from Remus. Still, the hole in his heart where Sirius had been was ever present.

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat as he whispered the password to the Slytherin Tower, summoning his legendary Gryffindor courage. Resounding crashes and the yell of hexes could be heard as Harry entered the Common Room. Several first years went scurrying towards Harry, one was holding a bleeding shoulder. "Damn," Harry cursed, drawing his wand. Two third years scuttled from the staircase. Harry grabbed one by the arm. "What in the hell is going on up there?"

"It's Tom. He's lost it."

Harry rushed towards Tom's Head Boy room. "Tom?" Harry hesitantly opened the door. The place was a mess, furniture strewn everywhere, pages of books scattered on the floor, and much to Harry's disbelief, he heard faint sounds of weeping. "Tom?" He walked slowly towards the bathroom lest the toilette be thrown viciously from the door but nothing came. On the floor, head in his hands, Tom Riddle was sobbing. The bathroom was in shambles and Harry had the idea that the state of the room was the same state in which Tom was; broken and shattered. "I shouldn't have left like that and I'm sorry."

Tom raised his head, crimson eyes bloodshot and cheeks streaked with saline. "Is that so? I don't think you are. You heard that you were bound to me and the thought disgusts you. Besides, who would want to be bound to me anyway. With binding comes a lifetime commitment where we'd have to rely upon one another until our dieing day and then beyond. Bindings are not meant to be taken lightly. They are connection that even death cannot end. I don't blame you. After all, you're just like the rest of them. You've finally showed me your true colors."

"That's not true and you know it." Harry knelt beside of Tom, taking his hands into his own. Tom yanked but Harry tightened the hold. "I have seven years of Quidditch under my belt, I'm not easily physically deterred. You told me about the spell and I thought that what we're feeling was only because of Vinculum Amor, not that we honestly are feeling something. I felt my heart break when I thought that what's happening is fake. I shouldn't have run off like that, not when you needed me just as much as I needed you then. I understand the binding spell more, now and I know that if we weren't starting to fall for each other then it would have never began. What I'm trying to say is; I'm prepared to sacrifice all that I know in order to be with you."

"Harry, that's more than I could have ever asked for but what about when you go home?" Tom gazed at Harry wide-eyed. "I can't ask you to stay with me."

"That's why you're going with me." Tom's lips parted in shock. Harry had made his decision, this was his answer. "I don't want you to argue with me and if you don't see us making it past a couple of weeks then I have to know. Will you do me the honor of joining me when I go home? It might be weird for a little while until my friends get used to you and Merlin knows that it'll take me getting used to as well but come December the 20th, you are joining me on my return voyage home."

"You don't leave room for any argument," Tom said, somewhat breathlessly. "Then you want this binding to be permanent? You want us to...branch into the full degree of the bond? Do you know what the entails? You get the entire package; my mind, my body, my heart, and my soul and I get yours as well. Bonded mates have been known to read the other's thoughts, to be able to cast simultaneous, powerful spells, to even have emotional orgasms during sexual intercourse. We could rule the world."

"Or just live in quiet peace for the rest of our days. Why does ruling the world appeal to you so much? Does not growing old together without worry not appeal to you in the same sense of dictating the world?" Harry frowned, holding Tom's hands to his chest. "But, my heart beats for you and for you alone and, if you want to continue with your quest to dominate the planet then I will be by your side. I just, I'd rather have the simple life. You know, children, pets, gardens, the whole fairytale ending to our affair."

Tom smiled, kissing Harry's nose. "I'd like that as well but my goal is to purge this planet of the filthy Muggles that are destroying it. After that, we can have your life. Look, it's a long time from now. Let's just enjoy the moment, the here and now." Tom wound his strong arms around Harry's neck, resting his head against Harry's. "We'll have our happily ever after, Harry. I promise."

Yes, and you'll both be the next Dark Lords. Honestly, Harry, what have you gotten yourself into? You just promised Tom Riddle a one-way ticket to 1999 where Lord Voldemort is wanting to end your life. How are you going to explain his presence to the Order?

Yes, how indeed...but as Tom said, it was the here and now that mattered. When the time came, Harry would think of the consequences of his actions.

...xxx...

60 reviews?!!! Have I lost my vision or are there actually that many? Whoo-pee!! I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. It makes my day to see that much interest. Most of you agree to a sex scene and yes, you can expect one next chapter though nothing too vivid. Just like I said before, just some naked naughtiness without penetration. Hee hee. Anyway, I've been contemplating what to do with my two lovely boys. I figured there needed to be some sort of explanation for the hastiness of their infatuation. What was better then a bond? This bond will be bringing some much needed angst as well as much needed happiness. Harry has made up his mind that Tom will be going with him to 1999 and I can't say that I blame him. After all, the sheer looks of shock on the Order's faces will be much fun to write. I'm so evil. haahahaha!

As I've read over my work, I noticed that I put that Septimus, Aleron, and Romulus were Severus's, Lucius's, and Sirius's grandfathers. That's not the case. The three aforementioned are the latter's sons. I apologize.

Thank you again, my wonderful reviewers!