A certain captain with the strongest ice-type Zanpakutō has frozen the farm where Byakuya purchases his luxury bananas.
I found out Byakuya likes bananas on the Bleach Wikia, so I decided to run with that.
Few things annoy me—I like to consider myself poised, yet apathetic, with few cares in the world.
Yes, I am aware, Abarai annoys me, my lack of knowledge regarding the word "hip" annoy me, 3rd Seat Yumichika Ayasegawa annoys me, Lieutenant Rangiku Matsumoto annoys me, Ichigo Kurosaki annoys me, not being addressed by my proper title annoys me, Abarai annoys me, Yachiru Kusajishi annoys me, Captian Kenpachi Zaraki annoys me, coming in second place annoys me, "donuts" annoy me, Captain-Commander Shunsui Kyōraku annoys me, Yoruichi Shihōin annoys me, Kūkaku Shiba annoys me, Ganju Shiba annoys me, Ikkaku Madarame annoys me, oh, and I must not have repeated this enough times, but Abarai annoys me as well.
But nothing annoys me more than a banana shortage.
Well, Abarai annoys me, I would think, a bit more than that, but I shall overlook that for the time being. It adds to the extremity of this problem.
I have a personal affinity for the yellow fruit (Bananas, not Abarai. I would like to point out that he is more of a red pineapple in many aspects.), and in the Kuchiki manor, we are never at a loss for bananas imported from District 1 of Junrinan, farmed by an aristocratic family who have been producing high-quality bananas for generations—bananas that cost nearly 400 kan apiece.
There is never a price too high for bananas.
And I have been informed, that today, because of a certain 10th Division captain's temper, the trees that the family uses to grow the fruit have been frozen to the point where they are dead to the world and little can be grown on them.
Because of such conditions, I will be deprived of bananas until the next growing season.
No, I will not be taking my dear sister Rukia's advice and just "go buy bananas elsewhere", because it is practically civil law that bananas grown in District 1 of Junrinan are the only ones fine enough for members of the Kuchiki clan to consume.
I almost saw Rukia ingest a banana handed to her by Captain Kotetsu (Rukia had been ordered by the 4th Division to pay a visit to check up on her pregnancy) the other day, and just by looking, I could tell that it was not the kind from Junrinan. I shunpō-ed to the area immediately, before knocking the fruit out of Kotetsu's hand. I shudder at the thought of even touching a banana that is not Kuchiki-certified, but I took such a sacrifice because my sister needed to be protected.
I have set up an urgent meeting with Captain Hitsugaya to berate him for freezing the family's banana farm—and to force him to find me an alternative supply of bananas with the same quality as the ones from Junrinan.
If he can't, him and his Division will experience firsthand the harrowing effects of Senbonzakura's Shūkei: Hakuteiken.