Tell you what, I've been using a lot of musical therapy recently when it comes to my lovelife which isn't as successful as my characters unfortunately.
I know I said that I wouldn't use a song for a while but I changed my mind for this chapter. It fits really well now with the mood that Xenia seems to have and I think it's a realistic portrayal about how she feels right now. It is again one of my own chapters based away from the episodes. It is largely narrative and not much in the way of dialogue although the end is something to look out for in particular.
The next chapter is something that I look forward to writing and it is the one that defines what I've been building up to for a while now and it should either be something exciiting. It is largely based on episode 13 of Mechtanium Surge which was one of my favourite episodes of the season.
You know the drill by now: Read and review also enjoy.
Chapter Eleven: Torn
As a brawler, the question is asked: What is the greatest battle ever?
For me, there's one too many to remember and say the best brawl ever about it. There are numerous examples of perfect battles. Such as the much-anticipated Dan against Spectra or Masquerade. Some are team battles. I remember when Shun and I went up against Volt in the Samurai Park. On a personal scale, there's the matches we all had in the doom dimension which taught us lessons that we would keep with us forever.
I've been thinking an awful lot about being a battler recently. The moments that define why we do what we do. The Grand Prix right now shows moments of brillance which is a rare thing to see.
You look at something like Interspace and battlers know that they have a chance to create memorable moments. I guess that's one of the points of being a battler. You create memories.
I still haven't found my battling moment but I'm hoping that one day it comes.
The crowd roars as we have just won the Capture-the-Flag challenge. There's something about a pleased crowd which fills you with adrenaline. It makes you feel confident and strong. I owe a massive thanks to Marucho for coming up with the strategy. It's the reason we even won. And we managed it without Shun...for the most part anyway.
Still, it doesn't change anything. He's still on the warpath and I still haven't got through to him and the others have had even less success than me. It isn't saying much when I put it like that.
I've avoided both Shun and Zack for the most part recently. It's not that I'm running but there's nothing for me to say. So straight after the battle, I headed back home to spend some time with Krystal Marie. She's been upset recently and I know why all too well. She misses her dad. Shun hasn't been spending much time with her and I get why he's doing what he is doing but does it have to come at Krystal Marie being sad pretty much all the time.
Zack has been there as much as he can be when I'm starting to be more withdrawn. I just wanted so time to myself and manage not to worry about anything. It doesn't feel like too much to ask for.
I start playing on my gituar playing one of my more recently favourite songs. It suits in more ways than one.
I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm
He came around
And he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know
Or seem to care
What your heart is for
I don't know him anymore
There's nothin' where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's fine
I'm torn
I take a small pause and stop playing as I really start to let emotion in pure and simple, simple and clean to quote Utada Hikaru. I shake my head lightly. I'm not gonna cry again. It won't do me any favours.
I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn
So I guess the fortune teller's right
I should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
But you crawled beneath my veins
And now, I don't care
I have no luck
I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things
That I can't touch
I'm torn
There's nothin' he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's right
I'm torn
I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn
Torn...
"Are you alright? You've been really quiet." Phoenix asks.
"Not much to say. The song covered it for me." I sigh.
"Did it really?"
I hear his voice coming from the doorway and I see Shun standing there which catches me off guard. I actually feel bad as that whole song was just about everything recently which is mostly directed at him.
"You and me. We used to be together. You know, against the world as I seem to think." I start.
I struggle to say what is really bothering me but I know that I have to. I'm not gonna lie or hide from it anymore. It hasn't seemed to help me in any way. I take a deep breath and will myself to continue.
"I just I feel like I'm losing my best friend and more than that. I just..." I gulp feeling tears again.
I let out a shuddery breath and emotion takes hold once again.
"It's like you're letting go and this guy I knew is vanishing right in front of me. You're lost and I just want you back but I can't reach out to you and that's really starting to scare me. So if it's real, I don't want to know!"
I close my eyes tightly trying to block the tears again but to no avail. I'm crying too much recently. I feel like Marucho a bit. I open my eyes and see that he has taken off again.
"Not an answer." I note.
I collapse onto my bed putting a pillow on top of my head feeling annoyed at not knowing anything. I guess I'm gonna have to show instead of tell then to get my message through to him then.