Chapter 11 Good vs Bad

Toby trained his eyes on the road, though still remained blind to the road infront of him. Thoughts of jail swirling through his his head. So long, so close to just loose everything. So stupid Toby he damned himself. He wanted to help Spencer but surely there better ways to do it, that would not result in him going to jail. Why was Spencer even in his truck? Why did he bring this shaken girl with him. Her constant sobs reminded him of a dying animal. He felt as if he would lose sanity at any point from her constant wailing. The only thing that held him together was the fact of what Spencer had been through. Although she never told him, he knew he recognized all the signs so easily, too easily. He didn't know the extent to which the abuse happened but he knew that it did happen for an extended period of time.

"Spencer I'm not going to hurt you", Toby spoke up his voice hoarse.

His grip on the wheel tightened Spencer noticed. Toby knew it was only a matter of time before someone would find Wren and then start asking questions. Toby pulled off the main highway onto what looked like a back road. Thinking it better to get off the main roads. He could hear Spencer stifle a gasp. He wanted to repeat once again that he wasn't going to hurt her. But he knew the only way to make her see it would be time. He just needed to think get a clear head. After about 10 minutes or so on the more of a path than a road. Toby was about to pull over when he spotted an old house. Pictures he imagined as a child flooded through his head at the sight of the house. From stories his mother would tell him tucking him into bed at night. He pulled into the drive way unsure if he should check to see if anyone was home. What would I do if they were? He quickly shrugged the panic away and stepped out the truck being sure to take the keys with him. Looking around he grew certain that no one had been out here in a few years. Why did this place look so familiar to him? Spencer remained in the truck, unusually quiet. Toby couldn't complain about the silence.

He walked to the back of his truck and climbed into the truck bed where he took a seat. In haling the fresh air he could feel his body calm. Something about the air, the sound of the leaves dancing in the wind. Or the smell of sun burnt grass always did the trick in calming him. Spencer, confident, independent, smart over caffeinated beautiful girl had turned into another statistic. He should have saw the signs earlier, he should have know. What the hell Toby you know better, he scolded himself. He had to get her out of there he realized. He would have hit Wren again and taken her out of that prison. So I don't regret hitting him, Toby came to a sudden conclusion. He made up his mind, he wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

Spencer starred at the cabin mind still in a haze. This was it, this was how she was going to die, voice in the back of her head spoke. She could feel a small pang of relief hit her. She always thought she would die at the hands of Wren and his anger. Her heart grew heavy. In a weird way at least he hadn't killed her in the end. At this Spencer laughed. The pain it would soon be over, the confusion, the fear it would all stop. Spencer wiped away her last tear. She was ready to die. She could feel all the emotions she were avoiding earlier surrounding her like smoke slowly seeping into her clothes and lungs with every breath. The wheels in her mind slowly starting to turn again. Wren!

Toby opened her passenger door. Spencer didn't flinch, or cry, better yet she refused to make eye contact. She could no longer look at those blue eyes. "Let's go for a walk". Toby spoke, his voice calmer than before Spencer noted. She didn't fight him, she had no more fight left in her. Slowly she stepped out of the car bare foot. The grass and dirt felt refreshingly soft against her feet. Looking up at the sky Spencer could tell they had a few hours left of daylight. Spencer followed Toby to the back of the house. He took a seat on the ground. Spencer followed suit. "Spencer I'm sorry for scaring you. I…I" Toby was at a loss of words.

"I rather just get this over with", Spencer spoke up. Her eyes glued to the grass in front of her.

"What?...No…Spencer I….". Again Toby stumbled over with words. Spencer stole a quick glance at him to find his face looked into a mask of confusion. His light brown hair ruffled and messy made him appear to be younger than he actually was. Spencer let her eyes slowly drop back to the ground. No she didn't want to look at him anymore, she didn't want to observe things about him.

"Spencer, I just wanted to get you away from that place for a while help you clear your head". Toby spoke, after what felt like an eternity.

"Normal people, just usually ask the other person to go out for a coffee they don't kill their boyfriends and kidnap them and bring them out to a cabin out in the middle of the woods". Spencer replied. Her voice dripping with anger. "They don't hurt the people they love". Toby let his hands drop to the ground beside him and dug his fingers into the dirt liking the feel of the soft dirt.

"I didn't kill him, I don't think and I'm sorry about that".

"What is it that you want Toby"? Spencer could feel his blue eyes on her. Her face flushed, she felt some what self conscious still even though he had seen her at her worst she still felt some what embarrassed, ashamed.

"I just want to talk to you, then I'm going to take you back". He Promised. Spencer's heart leaped at his words, their was still a chance at survival. Spencer carefully kept her expression unchanged.

"You don't know him", Spencer spoke after a moment. Toby nodded his head in agreement.

"But I don't get why would you love someone like that"? He asked, bluntly. At this point Spencer was red as a tomato. Her eyes still failing to meet his.

"Why is it so important for you to talk to me out here, sometimes we just do things we can't explain. It could be kidnapping or it could be love". Spencer laughed at her statement.

"It's not funny", Toby spoke up annoyed.

"Isn't it! I am sitting in a deserted woods, talking to a murderer about my abusive boyfriend". Spencer explained. Toby moved closer to Spencer desperate for her to make eye contact. At this Spencer shifted away from him just as quickly as he tried to close the distance between the two of them.

"Spencer you must know it isn't right". Spencer nervously pulled grass out of the ground in front of her. Her eyes fixed un moving.

"Right is nothing but perception of what an individual would like to happen. And wrong is the result the individual faces for believing in such ignorance in the first place". Spencer replied.

"Right and wrong maybe be perception but good and bad are forever unchanged, Ludovico". Toby answered. "In your eyes it might be right, but you still feel pain from every hit". At this Spencer didn't reply. He had gotten her. No matter which way she spun it at the end of the day her body was still covered in bruises her heart still broken. Yet she still loved him.

"Someone once told me that to truly love someone meant them never having to say your sorry". Spencer forced her self to make eye contact with Toby to get her point across.

"I do truly love him, you hitting him showed me that. Despite everything I still love him. It's a love forever unchanging". Spencer could feel her heart sink at the statement. She knew it to be true, every bone in her body knew it was true.

"Ah, love is not a solid but a fluid structure infinitely expandable, yet not indestructible. Love can't survive anything you throw at it". Toby noted that Wren might be the only guy Spencer ever truly dated. There's so much more for her to see and experience.

"Your wrong it can and it will". Spencer couldn't help but notice how blue his eyes looked. How his firm jaw line reminded her of an old film actor. "If you lose it, then you never had it in the first place. After everything I've been through with Wren, seeing him there on the floor I could feel my heart die. I want to hurt you just as much as you hurt Wren". Her hands now cracked a branch

"Spencer I hit him for you, don't you see that". Toby asked exasperated. How could she be so...so... "stubborn"

"You don't even know what's going on between us anyway", Spencer shot back. At this Toby rolled his eyes. The sun seem to be setting faster now. Spencer noticed. How long had they been here? Wren! A voice screamed in her head. He was still there on the floor alone bleeding out. Lost in thought Spencer didn't notice Toby's hand grab her hoody and raise it to reveal a canvas of pain. Black and blue splotched on thick, with hint of red highlighting the blue to make it pop more with black. Spencer quickly tried to remove his hand but Toby held his hand firm. "Look at yourself Spencer", he dared. Spencer 's eyes faltered from his, the shame returning. He couldn't understand he has never loved anyone. "Look at yourself". He repeated. Spencer could feel tears threatening to once again run down her cheeks.

"You've made your point", Spencer replied. Her voice broken, her will power gave out. At this Toby released her hoody and rose to his feet. He felt conflicted maybe he was a bit too harsh. Either way she needed to see needed to understand. This wasn't ok, this wasn't healthy.

"You just need to understand why you can't go back to him", Toby finished. His voice softer, his eyes filled with empathy. Spencer could feel it baring down on her. She rose.

"OK", She replied, voice broken, eyes distant. Quickly rising to her feet. Toby didn't expect her to agree so easily. "I'll do what ever you want,c an we just stop talking about thin"?

"Spencer don't do this for me do this for you". She quickly took a step back not liking the way his voice was slowly raising.

"Ok" Spencer agreed quickly.

"I'm doing this for your own good", Toby spoke. Toby watched her face closely unable to gauge what she was thinking. Spencer quickly turned and started to run to the front of the house. Toby followed closely behind. He was actually shocked at how fast she could run. Spencer could feel Toby close behind,