Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders or the song "Ain't No Sunshine"

Wonder this time where she's gone. Wonder if she's gone to stay. Ain't no sunshine when she's gone and this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away.

Tulsa - the place I grew up. The place where I took my first breath, first step, learned to walk, to talk. The place where I lived with my family. The place where I lost them. The place where I fell in love, where I felt my first heart break, then all over again. The place where I lost people who I cared about. The place where it all started for me.

Dally had someone leave a car for us at the station. I don't ask who or where the car came from. That's the last thing I'm worried about right now.

"What are we going to say to Darry?" Ponyboy asks from the backseat.

I rest my head against the window and watch the familiar buildings pass. There's the school I went to, the diner I worked at and spent most of my free time at, the drive-in theater where Ponyboy and I would go to kill time, the jail where Dally serviced multiple sentences - the place where he told me everything.

"We need to get our story straight," Ponyboy says. "I called him from the station and said we were coming home. I told him I'd explain everything once we get there so we need to decide what to tell him."

There's the park where Johnny killed Bob. Just past that is the stretch of woods that burned Soda and killed Michael and Jane. Down the next block is the flower shop where Ronnie shot a man. Down the street from there is where Dally crashed his car into Sam's. A cross sits against a light pole where he died.

I sigh. When does this stop?

"Tell him the truth," I say.

Dally looks over at me and I see Ponyboy lean forward through the mirror. "Excuse me?" Ponyboy asks. "What did you just say?"

I shrug. "Who cares anymore? He's going to find out at some point. Might as well get it over with."

"How's he going to figure it out?" he asks. "Danni, this is crazy."

Dally remains quiet as Ponyboy continues to argue his point. I look over at Dally, trying to get his attention. "You should tell him. He listens to you."

"What are you talking about?" Ponyboy gapes from the back. "Danni-"

"I'll do it," Dally says, stopping him.

I nod, satisfied, and sit back in my seat. Ponyboy doesn't try to argue anymore as he's out numbered. He rests against the window, still not believing what we're about to do.

"Darry's going to skin us alive."

I should be worried, but somehow I feel relieved.

We get to the house a little after sunset. Nothing's changed. The porch is still a mess and the old beat up car Soda's fixing up is still leaking oil in the driveway. The grass hasn't been mowed in a while. Ponyboy is normally in charge of that. The old porch swing where I spent most of my summer days at is barely hanging onto the rotting wood. It's quiet here. It's almost peaceful.

We're waiting in the car. We've been here for a solid twenty minutes, none of us wanting to go inside and face reality.

I sigh and look behind me at Ponyboy. "We still can blackout of this," he says. "We still have time to come up with a plan."

I turn back around. "I'm too tired to come up with more lies. I'm too tired to do this anymore."

Dally glances over at me, his eyes wondering down to my hand that lies on my thigh. He places his hand on top of it, and gives a tight squeeze before opening his door and jumping out. Ponyboy and I reluctantly follow and head inside.

Darry, Soda, and Kathy are in the kitchen. I hear them cleaning up after dinner. They're laughing together. It's the perfect family picture.

And we're about to shatter it.

"Hey!" Soda shouts once he spots us. He puts down the plate he's cleaning and rushes over to us, embracing Ponyboy in a hug. "The kids are home, Dar," he yells behind his shoulder.

Dally and I stand off to the side as Darry comes into the room. When I see him I feel like I'm fourteen again and stayed out past my curfew. The wheelchair he's in doesn't make him any less frightening.

Darry gives Ponyboy a hug while Soda hugs me and then they switch. Soda gives a half hug to Dally, briefly asking why he's there. Then Darry starts in. "What's going on?" He stands back, his arms crossed over his chest. "Why are y'all home?"

All three of us exchange a glance, wondering who should speak first.

I try to signal to Dally to take the lead, but he pushes me forward, making me be the first to break the news.

I avoid eye contact with Darry, focusing soley on the ground. "There was never a writing class."

"Excuse me?"

I glance up, looking from Dally to Ponyboy then back to Dally. Neither one offers to back me. I guess I'm alone on this. "I went to New York to find some answers about Dally and about Maggot. I made Ponyboy lie to you and cover for me. Dally found out and tried to make us go home with him but I made him stay."

I'm too afraid to look up. Darry doesn't respond which makes me more nervous.

I continue anyway. "We found Maggot and he threatened us. We think he killed Dally's father."

Again, I keep my eyes on the ground. There's a long stretch of silence. A stretch that's too long. I almost wish Darry was yelling instead of torturing me.

"I'm sorry," I finally say though I know it's almost meaningless.

I feel Darry shift and Dally starts to speak. "Don't put it all on her. I should've dragged her ass home as soon as I found out."

"It was my decision," I object.

No one argues with me. Again, it's way too long of a silence stretch. My heart is pounding as I wait for the blow up to start.

But it never does.

"Can I talk to you outside?" Darry asks. I look up and realize he's not talking to me. Instead he wants Dally.

Dally nods and the two go out to the front porch. I follow them with my eyes, not wanting to look at Kathy or Soda. I can already tell what they're thinking and I know neither one is willing to defend me or to try.

"Are you alright?" Soda asks.

Ponyboy answers, "We're fine."

"What were you thinking?" This time he's talking to me. I have to face him now. He's face is red, almost as red as Darry's gets. If he was a couple inches taller and a couple pounds bigger, I'd be looking at Darry's twin.

He has to ask again before I respond. "I wasn't, I guess."

He turns his back to me, rubbing his hand down his face. He leaves the room, going outside with Darry and Dally.

"They're just in shock," Kathy defends them.

"You don't have to defend them," I say. "I know they're mad. They have every right to be."

"Did you take your safety into any consideration?" she asks. "Or your brother's? Did you think at all how we'd react if something were to happen to you and we didn't know where you were?"

I don't want to keep defending myself because there's not much to defend. So I just say, "I'm sorry."

"It's not all her fault," Ponyboy defends me. "I could have picked up the phone at any point and turned her in, but I didn't. I stayed and I lied too."

No one says anything and soon Kathy joins the others outside.

"Thanks," I say to Pony. "But you don't have to defend me."

"I meant what I said," he says. "I didn't turn you in because I wanted to stay."

We sit and wait for a while longer. I try to listen to what's being said outside but they must be whispering. Ponyboy is bouncing his foot up and down as if he's the nervous one. This wasn't his idea. He didn't orchestrate the whole thing. That is all me. I won't let him get in trouble. He didn't ask to be put into the situation that I put him in and it wasn't as if he could refuse. We were already on a train by the time he found out what was going on. I'm a horrible sister, I know. There are only so many times I can apologize.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Pony asks.

I shrug. "Probably about everything that happened, what to do with me."

"You're almost eighteen," he says. "They can only ground you for so long."

While that was true, I'd still imagine that Darry would find a way to ground me until I'm thirty.

Finally, the door opens and Darry, Soda, and Kathy shuffle in. Dally isn't with them, and I assume they sent him on his way. I'm grateful in a way. I'm already humiliated enough, I don't need him to witness my punishment.

Darry comes over to me, parking his chair in front of me so we're face-to-face. I don't try to read his face because I know exactly what he's thinking. "Guess we gotta talk," Darry says.

I nod, hoping to do this in private and safe me some more humiliation, but Soda and Kathy take a seat on the couch.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" he asks.

"Nothing other than I'm sorry."

He nods, seeming to appreciate my decision not to try to argue. "Dally told us what happened in New York."

I wonder exactly how much he told them.

"You know you could have been killed, right?" his head darts over to Pony. "The both of you?"

I nod as does Pony. Again, I don't try to defend myself.

"We wouldn't even have the bodies. We didn't know where you were. You would have just vanished. After everything that's happened, how did you justify that? How could you justify taking off after some murderer in a dangerous city and not tell us?"

I don't know if I should answer. It's a rhetorical question. Obviously I wasn't thinking about anyone other than myself. In my defense, I was thinking about Dally. Mostly Dally, in fact. I had to find a way to help him, to end this.

"Haven't we lost enough people because of this mess?" He's yelling now. "I couldn't live with myself if the same were to happen to you two."

He's right. "I know."

"Why? Just tell me why."

"I don't know," I say, knowing he's not going to like the truth.

"Yes you do. You've obviously been planning this for a while."

I sigh. Kathy and Soda are looking at me, waiting for my response. I want to cry. My whole body wants to cry but I can't. I'm too tired.

"It's because of Dally, right?" Darry hits the nail on the head. "Tell me I'm wrong."

"You're not," I say softly.

He turns his back to me, rubbing his face with his hand like Soda did before.

"Darry," Soda calls.

Darry looks back around to him. "Don't."

They exchange a look as if speaking having a silent argument between them. From what I can tell, Darry's winning.

Finally Soda looks away and Darry turns his attention back to me. "I'm only doing this for your safety. It's for the best, even if you don't think so."

Neither Soda nor Kathy will look at me. I gulp, knowing that this isn't good.

"I want you to stay away from Dally."

A thousand knifes hit me at once. "What?"

"No more. I'm done with this. You can't control yourself from getting involved, well fine, I'll do it for you."

I spring up. "No, you can't do this."

"Danni-" someone tries to cut me off. I'm not sure which one it is - Kathy or Soda.

I tower above Darry, not caring anymore about how mad and disappointed he is. Adrenaline is running through my veins and I can't control myself right now. Especially not what's coming out of my mouth. "You can't do this."

Darry looks up at me, surprisingly calm. He crosses his arms over his chest, his muscles bulging out of his sleeves. He could do some damage to me any time he wants, but I don't back down.

I shake my head. "I don't care. I'm not doing it. I refuse."

"You don't have a choice, Danni," he says sternly.

I can feel the tears running down my cheeks. It's not helping my case. I feel like a child that's throwing a tantrum because someone told her no. Darry can't take Dally away from me. He can't force me not to see him.

"You're under house arrest until further notice."

"What?"

"You're not allowed to leave without permission or with someone to go with you. No phone privileges unless given permission, no visitors unless given permission. You go to school and come home. Nothing else. No contact. I mean it."

I can't believe what I'm hearing. I look behind me at the rest of my family. None of them will look at me. Not even Soda is running to my rescue. How can they sit there and support this? They know how much Dally means to me. How can they be so cruel?

"You can't do this."

Darry shakes his head, and starts moving away from me. "It's to keep you safe."

I follow him into the kitchen, not done with this conversation. "I don't care! I don't care about being safe." He stops at the counter, his back turned to me. I wipe the tears away, trying to control myself but I can't stop. "Who is going to watch him? Who is going to keep him safe?"

Soda, Kathy, and Pony are standing in the doorway as I sob, waiting for Darry's response that never comes. He just sits in his chair, his back to me, done arguing with me.

"You can't do this." I push pass everyone in the doorway.

I move so fast that no one can stop me. I run out the door and down the street. My feet start to burn as I realize I'm not wearing any shoes. I keep running though. I run all the way there.

He opens the door, looking like he just woke up from a nap. I run past him and into the house, spilling out everything uncontrollably and with slobbery and wet tears on my face and words that are coming out as gibberish. He stands there, calm, letting me rant.

"He told me I couldn't see you anymore," I try to say clearly. "H-He banned me from seeing you. He put me on house arrest and wants to lock me in my room like some kind of prisoner."

I take a deep breath in-between one of my sobs. I take another breath and try to speak again. "He says it's for my safety but I can take care of myself. He wants me to stay away from you. I tried to tell him I can't but he didn't listen."

He hasn't spoken yet. I keep waiting and he just keeps staring at me with a dazed and confused look.

"Say something," I finally push.

He sighs, rubbing his sleepy eyes. I forgot that he didn't sleep last night.

He walks past me, into the kitchen, and pours a glass of milk.

I step behind him. "I said say something."

He takes a sip and turns back around. This time he doesn't look at me. He keeps his eyes to the ground as he says, "He's right."

My legs start to shake. I don't know how much longer I can hold myself up. I lean against one of the counters. "What?"

"You should get outta here."

"What?"

He walks away from me, going back into the living room just like Darry, not wanting to deal with me.

"Dally-"

"I said get out!"

His voice makes me stop in my tracks. My chest becomes heavy, and it's getting harder to breathe.

The tears come back. "You don't mean that."

He rushes over to me faster than I can process. He grabs my wrist and starts pulling.

"No!" I try to resist it, but he's stronger than me. "Stop!"

He pulls me to the door, opening it and trying to push me out. I grab onto the frame, trying with all my might not to let this happen.

"What are you doing?" I sob. "Don't do this. Please don't do this!"

Again, he looks away from me, deliberately this time. I know the affect my tears have on him, something he'd never admit. Even though he's physically throwing me out of the house, I know it's not what he wants. I know he doesn't want to hurt me.

"Just go," he says.

"No, Dally, no."

"Listen to your brother, Curtis." And in one swift push, I'm outside, the door slammed in my face.

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone, only darkness everyday. Ain't no sunshine when she's gone, and this house just ain't no him anytime she goes away. Anytime she goes away.

A/N: Reviews are greatly appreciated.