"SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!" we all said as Sharonda took body shots off of Lil Dreamer.
"That's my girl!" Quil said proudly.
"Shut up mofo, I ain't your property!" Sharonda said as she paused for a second to kick him in the throat. Good thing he was a strong werewolf.
This party was happenin breezy! Ling Ling and this hot momma wearing shorts with the word "JUICY BOOTY" were dancing on top of the coffee table. Ling Ling's extensions fell off and whacked Embry in the eye, and he put it back in her hair for her. Man, that nigga was pussy whipped!
"Ayo, Jared, is that your main squeeze with the donkey with a monkey next to Ling Ling?" I asked. PLEASE SAY NO, BECAUSE I WANNA TAP THAT ISH!
"Ummm…that's SETH. But we call him Beth now. He turned gay after he saw Bruno," Jared explain as he shook his thang to the song on his laptop.
"EWWWW NO WONDER HE TRIED GRINDING NEXT TO ME AT PROM!"
"You mean she?"
"Whatever, negro, I'm too drunk to understand!" I screamed. Suddenly I felt the buzz growing stronger and I felt the urge to jump on top of the kitchen counter.
"I DON'T NEED NO LOVE ALL I NEED IS THE DJ! She got me outta control, out of control. Fellas you like that monkey, monkey!" I exclaimed as I grinded on the microwave. Mhmm, so warm and metallic.
"BITCH, I only got one microwave ya know!" Paul yelled as he tried to pull me off.
"Stop being a cock blocker, pussy ass nigga I'll bust a cap on yo ass!" Who the eff was he to tell Jacob to get off of the counter?
Sharonda shook the bottle of Grey Goose and sprayed it on top of everyone.
"Make it rain, make it rain on them hoes!" Embry said as he ran to drink it. Instead, he accidently swallowed one of Ling Ling's fake eyelashes that fell off.
"Who you callin a hoe, HOE?" Sharonda said as she got off and got all up in Embry's space.
"Yo, Embreezy, go Chris Beat Her Down on her ass!" I said as I hopped off of the counter. I haven't seen a good fight since yesterday at the supermarket when my dad rolled over the preacher's toe.
Sharonda cracked the bottle on top of Embry's head as he stepped towards her. Quil came over and pulled her off.
"Sorry bro, she hasn't gone to anger management classes today…"
"It's all good in the hood!" Embry yelled. I guess he was drunk too….
"Hey guys, where's Leah?" I asked. Where was that ugly ass bitch? I haven't had a chance to make fun of her blubber yet.
"Oh, my sister ain't got it goin on like me. She only drank 52 shots. PUSSY!" Seth, UM Beth said as he-she hopped off the table, hobbling on his/her's stilettos.
Suddenly, Get Low by Lil Jon started playing.
"UH HUH, THAT'S MY SHIT!" Time to get this party started, muthafuckas!