Disclaimer: The whether man says that my owning of Yu-Gi-Oh depends on whether or not pigs fly. The weather man has not reported any instances of this so far. I suppose that means I still don't own it.

A/N: Per request, I am continuing this. But don't get too excited – I'm only doing so because of a sequel I wish to write. Nonetheless, enjoy this psychotic use of my time!

"Get up," Bakura said as soon as the alarm clock rang that morning. He threw open the curtains, but since there was no sun, he grabbed a flashlight and waved its beam in front of the sleeper's eyes.

Marik squinted at the digital clock next to his bed. "It's 5 am, Bakura! Go back to sleep."

"My riches have spoiled you. If you don't stop spending all your time in bed, you'll get fat, and I'll stop sleeping with you."

"No you won't." But Marik got out of bed anyway. He stretched his tan, fully naked body across the mattress and laid down face-first in defeat. "Five more hours," he said, but the comforter muffled his protests.

"Put these on," Bakura instructed, throwing an outfit down onto his back.

Marik snapped his head up. "Since when do you dress me?"

"Marik, we don't have time for your usual 3-hour morning routine. We have to be gone in 15 minutes."

"Why?"

"Clothes first."

Marik rolled his eyes, but obediently got up and dressed himself in the attire Bakura had given him. Once done, he strolled over to the floor-length mirror and studied himself. "Bakura, why am I dressed in all black?"

"We're going on a mission." Bakura stepped up beside him, wearing an identical outfit. He strung his arm around his waist and pulled the Egyptian into a kiss. "I'll explain on the way."

Marik's stomach rumbled. "Can't we get a bite to eat first?"

Bakura scoffed. "Grab a Pop-Tart on our way out the door. We'll eat after we finish."

"This had better be important. I was having a really inspiring dream. I was beating the Pharaoh, Fluffy! It doesn't get any better than that."

"Was I in it?"

"Yes. We celebrated afterward with victory-sex!"

"Then I agree. It couldn't get any better."

Marik followed Bakura down the main stairwell. "So, what is this mission that you woke me up before dawn for about?"

"Pop-Tart," Bakura reminded as they headed for the garage. When they were situated on Bakura's motorbike, he replied, "We're going out to get one of the Millennium Items."

"You found the gypsy-guy?"

"No."

"Then which one is it?"

Bakura revved his engine and peeled out of the garage, the door closing automatically behind them. The streets were completely deserted until they got out of the neighborhood, and only slightly less so on the main road. Over the roar of the bike, Bakura finally told him, "The Millennium Puzzle."

"Oh for Ra's sake. How many times have you tried and failed to get that? What makes you think you'll get it so easily now?"

"Because it's not in Yugi's possession anymore."

"What?! What do you mean it's not in his possession?"

Bakura grinned evilly, but Marik couldn't see that from his position strapped to his back. "I may have borrowed your Millennium Rod to control a certain Tristan to take it from him, since he won it and all."

"Wait, but the Rod only works on people named Steve."

"No, the Rod only works on people named Steve for you. For me, it only works on people named Tim."

Marik put his finger to his chin thoughtfully. "Tristan Timothy Taylor. Hmm, very interesting. I never would've thought the name changed based on the person."

"You know now."

"Imagine all the chaos we could create with this new knowledge! Fluffy, you and I will rule the world! Ah hahaha –"

"No time for that. We have to meet Tristan in the park before his friends figure out that he's not at home."

"Why would they be looking for Tristan at 5 in the morning?"

Bakura stifled his nausea before answering. "Because Joey's sister Serenity had a 'sleepover' at Tristan's last night. Without her brother's knowledge. But she left a note explaining this to Joey, which he should find at about 6 when he goes in to wake her up for some appointment they have. The details got kind of fuzzy after that – I was multitasking while controlling Tristan's body when I – or to her knowledge, he – seduced the girl last night. I swear if I weren't already gay, my efforts to persuade her to go home with him certainly would have made me so."

Marik tried to make sense of this. "So, you used Tristan's body to seduce Joey's sister, and she's sleeping at his house, and she left a note telling her brother… I'm confused."

"No, I left the note. I wrote it, but I made it look like she wrote it… To sum up, I'm instigating a fight between Joey and Tristan."

"And where is Yugi involved in this?"

Bakura rolled his eyes. "Yugi is the middleman. Joey will bring him in as backup. Although, if my plan goes well, Joey will beat the crap out of Tristan, and Yugi will be absolutely devastated that his friends are such scumbags. He may even throw himself out a window, though I can't imagine why he didn't realize how horrible his friends were to begin with."

Marik bit his lip, but decided arguing with Bakura would be a pointless endeavour, and instead hid his head behind his back so that he could eat his Pop-Tart without the wind stealing his food.

When they had arrived at the park, Bakura stopped his bike next to a bench across the path from a tree on which a tall, silhouetted figure was leaning. Dismounting, he whispered to his passenger, "Stay on the bike. I'll be back shortly." Then he strode over to the man and stretched out a hand, palm up. The figure stood upright rigidly, his face catching the light, and Marik saw that it was Tristan, as he had expected. Tristan pulled his hand from behind his back and held it up, dangling the Millennium Puzzle at eyelevel. He dropped it into Bakura's hand, and the Brit turned on his heel, walked back to Marik. Tristan turned the opposite way and disappeared into the night.

"I'm guessing he's going back to his house now," Marik said, watching the spot where he vanished.

Bakura nodded. "That's where I sent him. Come, let's go get breakfast."

A/N: I had a stroke of inspiration, and am now continuing this so that I may tie it in with a sequel soon. Crossing my fingers that I will be able to update regularly.