JD tried to cough, even though nothing would come out. It was like his throat wasn't working properly. Why can't I move my head? What's wrong with me? Why am I laying down?
Dr. Cox could see it in his eyes. Panic was setting in, and quickly. "Come on Jasmine. Just one cough." He held the side of JD's face gently with one hand. It was breaking his heart staring at him like this. Tears were forming in JD's eyes and he needed to do this now before bigger problems arose. He could see JD's monitors rising in numbers too quickly.
JD tried to cough again, but he was just so tired. And then he felt it, something pulling upward from inside his chest. Squeezing his eyes shut he choked on air until he felt the pressure release. He tried to move his arms, to gather his thoughts, inventory himself, but his arms felt tied down. His eyes darted around the room, he noticed someone else standing behind Dr. Cox, but didn't pay too much attention. He looked towards his mentor for information.
Dr. Cox looked down at his patient. Although no one in the hospital would assume he was good with patients, he knew differently, and that's why he was the best doctor his this hellhole. "I'm going to ask you a couple questions Newbie, and as hard as this might be for you, I don't want you to talk." He took JD's hand in his own. "Just squeeze my hand if you know the answer. Okay?"
JD just stared at him. The cloudiness was dissipating, but in return all he got was pain. He let out a low groan and squeezed his eyes shut again.
"I'll try and make it fast okay? Then I'll give you some of that morphine that you girls love so much." He squeezed JD's hand gently to make sure he had his attention. Once JD's eyes opened to look at him, he started. "Do you know what your name is?"
Do I know what my name is? Why kind of question is that? He stared at Cox like he was an alien.
"I didn't say the questions would be hard, I just need you to answer them." He sighed. "Now do you know what your name is?"
JD blinked like he understood the question, but trying to squeeze Doctor Cox's hand was another question. Trying to make his fingers work was making his brain hurt.
When JD didn't squeeze back right away, he wouldn't lie to himself, his gut churned like no other instance he could remember in his adult years. It was already going to take weeks of physical therapy to get JD back to his former self; he didn't want to imagine anything worse than that. Which is why he was so happy when he felt the slightest twitch of JD's fingers in his hand. "That's it kid, just a little more. You got this."
He had tried so hard, but even with Dr. Cox's encouraging he couldn't get any further, he was just so tired. Everything felt like an elephant was sitting on his chest. But seeing Dr. Cox actually happy about something, he had to try a second time. He concentrated hard, and managed to move 3 of his fingers and curl them around Cox's hand.
"Alright. Good. Good." He took his eyes away from JD's fingers. He needed to watch his face for this question. "Do you remember how you got here?" His other hand rested on JD's shoulder on the other side of the neck brace. At any point of this kid's life did he need personal comfort, now was probably the time.
He stared up at Dr. Cox, and then turned his attention to the ceiling. How did I get here? He looked around the room like he'd never seen it before. But that isn't true is it? Just never from this point of view.
Dr. Cox snapped his fingers as he saw JD's eyes close. "Hey. No sleeping. Not yet." He moved his head completely into JD's eye line, making sure he was the only thing visible. "Do you remember how you got here?"
JD blinked a few times. I was in the car. No, I was on the sidewalk and then I got into the car? Something about a car? This should be an easier question. Why can't I remember? Is there something wrong with me? What's wrong with me? He started to panic and felt his chest get tight. He tried to speak but nothing came out, and opening his mouth was just painful on his throat.
It was killing him. It was literally killing little pieces of him to see JD like this. He hesitated, but then ran his finger light touch through JD's hair. Something about it seemed right at the time. Maybe it was simply because it wasn't styled up that it was easier to comfort him. "Stop. Come on. Don't do this to yourself. If you don't remember you don't remember." He turned to the table next to the bed and poured a glass of water topping it off with a straw. JD looked like some sort of wild animal, lost about in pieces of things he couldn't quite get a grasp on. "Here, drink some of this will you. We both know it'll help."
JD turned his eyes to face him. Unable to move his head or his body, he couldn't do much other than open his mouth. His throat was so dry it felt like the desert. Watching as doctor Cox bent the straw down into his mouth, he took a few sips.
"Easy there princess. I can't have you throwing up while laying down." He lifted back the straw a little. But seeing the satisfaction it gave JD, he let him have a few more sips before returning it to the table.
JD closed his eyes; he was so tired that drinking water was too much effort. He tried again to talk. This time it was partially successful with a small noise. A soft clearing of the throat and he managed to get out a simple "Whahappen?"
Dr. Cox sighed. Why is it taking so long for the nurses to get here? He grabbed JD's chart, but not because he needed to know what was wrong with him, he'd read it over 100 times by now. Memorized every broken bone, every scar that would form later. He just needed something to hold onto while he talked. While he told him what he knew he wouldn't want to hear.
JD stared at him for a long time. Squinting his eyes through the pain that was forming all over his body. "Please" he said. Although he wasn't sure it actually came out as any words at all.
Cox couldn't do it. He couldn't tell him right now. He put the chart back down on the table. He touched JD's hand again. "I'm going to just do a basic test and you blink if you can feel it okay?" He moved towards the end of the bed touching JD's toes gently and moving them up and down slowly. "Can you feel this?" He swore he could feel his heart pause in yes chest. But then he saw it, the blink. "And what about this?" He moved his hands towards his middle shin. Another blink. But before he could move his hands anywhere else, Barbara moved closer to the bed. He'd forgotten all about her being in the room.
"JD. I'm so sorry."
What? Who was that? Why do they sound so familiar? JD looked towards his side. He could not, and would not believe his eyes. Fear devoured him all at once. Memories flashed before him behind his eyes. I'm here because of her aren't I. I'm here because of her and her husband. Not even able to think his name, JD surged through the pain. Desperate to get away from her his arms started thrashing about on the bed trying to hard to escape any of his bonds. "Help me. Please help me."
Carla had been watching outside the door, she knew Dr. Cox had it under control, and as desperate as she was to see Bambi, Dr. Cox needed those moments more. She didn't want to overwhelm JD, and she knew after this Dr. Cox would be lucky to get any alone time with him. Turk wasn't going to leave his side, or Dan. I should go tell Dan. Before she could turn, she heard the warning alarms.
"You need to leave!" Dr. Cox turned to Barbara as he held JD's arms in place. "JD please stop moving." The kid was thrashing so badly he was afraid he'd damage any progress they'd made medically. Firm grips on his wrist weren't helping. Different approach. Try something else. Just then he saw Carla rush into the room with a needle in hand. A sedative. "Wait. Carla just wait a second. Explain it to him first. Explain what you're doing and why."
Carla stared at Dr. Cox like he was insane. "I'm sorry?" She looked momentarily at JD; he was going to tire himself out if they didn't sedate him. Looking back at Dr. Cox, he had a face that told her he was being serious.
"Explain it to him first and then just do it. It's only going to scare him more otherwise."
She turned to face JD and gently touched his face.
JD tried to turn away at first, but he was able to. The touch was soft though, not like what his mind kept flashing back to. He turned to look at her and the trashing lessened.
"Hey Bambi. It's good to see you again." She could see the tears in his eyes; a couple of them had fallen down the side of his face. "I'm going to give you something to go to sleep okay? You're moving around too much and you're going to hurt yourself."
He tried to say no, but he knew he was tired. You're a doctor; you'd do the same thing. Think logically here. You're clearly not a child; Carla and Dr. Cox are here. But, mom is here too. Does that mean he is here too? He looked up at Carla, fear was apparent.
"One of us will stay here with you okay?" She watched his eyes close for a moment. When they reopened some of the fear was gone and he'd mostly stopped moving. His levels were going down to somewhat normal responses. She stuck in the sedative in and held his hand. Squeezing just gently enough not to hurt him, but enough to let him know she wasn't going anywhere.
Dr. Cox let go of JD and turned his full attention towards Barbara. "You. Need. To. Leave. You are not allowed in this room, you hear me?"
She stood shell-shocked a few steps back from the bed. She didn't know JD would react like that, but instead of feeling sorry for her son, anger was setting in. How dare he.