Chapter Eleven

Snogging

James lied on his back and stared at the beautiful and streaking yellow, orange, and purple sky. Twilight was beginning to overlap the castle and everyone was going from the lake to the castle. James was laying under Severus and his tree, his hands spread out around him and his legs in the same fashion. Severus was curled up under the tree beside him, sound asleep and having no idea that James was even near him. A parchment and ink bottle was near him on the ground, Severus having apparently deciding to do his homework before dozing. His messy, stringy and black hair was hiding his face and he was giving off soft snores.

James moved his head to the side so he could look at Severus and he huffed in annoyance. He had come all this way to surprise him, only to find him already there and asleep. He knew that normally Severus would save his homework for the Slytherin common room and he wondered why he decided to suddenly do it out in the chilly day.

James sat up when he saw him shiver and he shrugged off his coat and draped it over his shoulders. He tucked it under Severus' body so he was completely covered and he heard Severus grunt before turning onto his other side, ruining the efforts of James to keep him warm. James sighed in annoyance and tried to fix the coat, giving up when the coat had been trapped under his body and was unmovable. He sat next to him beside the tree and picked up his text book that he had always written in.

"Advanced Potions Making," He read aloud as he examined the cover. It was definitely more worn than his own copy. But, he wasn't like Severus and didn't carry it out of his bag constantly. He pried it open and wasn't surprised to find that every page had been written in. On the occasions that he saw Severus take it out, he wrote in it at some point every single time. Some pages were more full than others and he noticed that Severus had even crossed out a few sentences as if he was correcting the authors mistakes that no normal person his age should know.

He knew Severus was smart, but by reading and looking at the writing, he realized that Severus was perhaps was some sort of a scary genius. Scary, because he was reading some of the spells he had written on the side of the pages. A lot of them sounded rather ominous. 'Use on your enemies,' said one. What the hell would that spell do if used? It sounded completely forbidding and dangerous, but James still made a mental note of it so he could try it out later. He could think of many people he would call his enemies.

Before the sun had completely set, Severus finally stirred awake, rubbing his eyes sleepily. James quickly shut the book and put it back beside Severus where it had been. He gave an awkward smile to Severus who yawned, "What are you doing here?" His voice sounded a little deeper from having just woken up and James shivered slightly. Why did he find it so sexy?

"Thought I would pay you an early visit. A better question is why you're here at such an early time, Severus."

Severus gave another yawn and stretched his arms over his head, "I felt like doing my homework here today. Is that a crime?" He was still so snarky even though James had felt like their relationship had advanced farther in the last few weeks.

Severus would let him sometimes hold his hand or lay beside him to look at the stars while talking endlessly, even if Severus didn't return some of the questions or comments. He was content just knowing that Severus felt the same about him.

Only a day after confessing to him, Severus had confronted him at the tree with a smile. James could see the excitement in his eyes as he relayed that he felt the same way toward James. He had been talking rather fast as if he would burst if he didn't say what he wanted. James felt so happy when Severus told him that, he had hugged Severus so tightly under the tree. He could tell it made him flustered, but he hardly cared.

He asked him if he had produced his Patronus yet and he looked away with a red face, telling him that he had not. James attributed the blush to him not having made it yet. He didn't push it, and instead spent the rest of the night holding him close.

He had thought that maybe since they had expressed their feelings fully to each other then they could start dating, but that turned out to be rather difficult. Gay couples in the wizarding world was a taboo subject and you never found a single one to speak about. Being a gay couple in a school full of hormonal and immature teenagers was most definitely a bad idea, and as sad as it was, could affect their future jobs if word spread that far between the students and their parents. They decided to continue to meet in secret, but keep pretending to hate each other during school. It sort of bothered James how easy it was for Severus to act exactly like that. He had to remind himself often that Severus did not really mean the things he said or that he didn't really hate him... Or did he?

Severus was serious when he told James to tell none of his friends- especially Peter. Severus said that something about Pettigrew gave off that he would fold quickly when confronted. Which, James agreed with. Peter was exactly that kind of person. James struggled with himself daily to not tell Sirius, though. He knew that Severus wouldn't be very happy if he found out he told Sirius and Sirius would also be rather pissed to find out about their relationship. It was a lose-lose situation, so he left it alone when he saw Sirius.

Merlin, what would they do for dates? There was only Hogsmeade, but literally every student that was allowed would go. They would never be alone. He knew the secret passages and such to the Shrieking Shack, but that wasn't what he called romantic. It was rather dusty, dirty, and torn apart from Remus shifting there. The only place that they could be alone was their tree, and he always found Severus there long before he ever went there. He couldn't sneak supplies and such for a surprise date because of Severus'eagerness to be there. It was kind of cute, but also annoying to James.

"I was wondering if you could tutor me, Severus." James had looked at the essay Severus had done and realized just how long and elegant it looked. He knew it must have been brilliant with whatever it said. James looked at Severus with the sweetest smile he could muster and Severus looked at him with an eyebrow raised and a frown.

"I know what you're trying to do and the answer is no. Do your own work. Study for once in your life!"

"But I do! Advanced Potions is just so hard, Severus."

Severus snorted and gave him a look of exasperation, "Perhaps to you, but I've never had a problem with it before. If you just read then you would make better grades."

James bit his tongue when he almost said that Severus had crossed out many of the instructions to add his own in their class text book. It was rather unfair that he told him to read the instructions and yet he didn't even follow them. But, he would not dare tell Severus that he looked into his text book. He could tell that Severus kept it with the highest of secrecy.

"Besides, Remus makes decent grades in there. Why don't you ask him since he is one of your best mate?" Severus' voice was a little bitter, but James ignored it.

"That's just it! He's decent, but I want to be taught by someone that makes fantastic marks! Severus, you're a genius... Why cant you teach me at least something? Just one thing? Just help me out with studying on my N.E.W.T.S, please..." James watched as Severus blushed and looked away. He never answered him and James sighed in defeat. He would just have to stick to the few times he met Lily in the library.

"Did I tell you I received a letter from Lucius today?" Severus' tone was casual as he picked up his discarded homework and rolled it up to put away in his bag. James could tell that he was trying to change the subject and it worked wonderfully.

James narrowed his eyes and tensed slightly, "No... No you didn't." He hated talking about Lucius. He hated him before, but now he absolutely despised him. He was the ex lover of his maybe or maybe-not boyfriend. They still hadn't actually talked about if they were to that stage or not, but that didn't mean he wanted to hear about the blond twit.

"He said my parents are gone."

"What?" James felt slightly surprised at the news. He looked at Severus closely to see if he was upset about it, but he merely looked at him calmly, "Oh, um... Are you upset about it?"

"Not particularly. He said that the whole house has been emptied and they were no where to be found. There was blood on the floor and walls in one area, but he said he'd have it cleaned. It might have been robbers if I wanted to look at it in a muggle way. Perhaps Lily's family has had trouble in their neighborhood, also..." He said the last part as an after thought and then gave a final shrug.

"Wait, why are you not upset about that? if my parents were suddenly just... gone without a note and there was blood everywhere... You don't think they were murdered, do you?"

James watched a dark look pass over Severus' face and he said bitterly, "If they did, I hope they suffered."The look passed and he calmly pulled his book into his lap and he began reading over the words he wrote.

"Woah! What the fuck, Severus?" James sat up quickly and looked at him with slight horror, "You don't really mean that, do you?"

"Would I have said it if I didn't mean it?" Severus' voice had a hint of annoyance in it and he looked up to give James a hard look. James had the feeling that he really wanted to say far more choice words, but was holding himself back. It made him hesitate to speak.

"What... Why exactly are you pleased at the thought of your parents dying? I mean, what did they do to you?" There had to be a reason. From what he had noticed about Severus, he didn't just hate someone for no reason. He hated many people, but James could only wonder what the story was behind the hatred behind each person.

James watched Severus hesitate and look up from his text book. He expected for Severus to ignore him or deny him with a sarcastic comment of it being none of his business, but he surprised James. Severus shut the book with a sigh before saying in a calm, yet edged voice, "Do you know what it's like to live in a slum of a house with no money, a mother who neglected you, and a father that drank everyday and hit you every night?" He held up a finger when James opened his mouth to say something back in shock, "Don't interrupt. I lived in a house where neither my mother or me could say anything to my father without being harshly punished.

"My mother was no better. She didn't ever try to help me, so I never tried to help her. Meals were dictated quietly by my father. The money we received from my father's muggle job was spent on his alcohol addiction. Mum could never get her own job since Dad didn't believe in women working. He also didn't believe in magic being used around him. So, we lived the best we could. I'm not sorry at the aspect of them leaving or having been murdered because I literally have no attachments to them, Potter. Do you understand now?"

James had watched Severus speak the whole time, but he still couldn't believe how calm he had been while relaying something that he had never once told James. He wondered if he had possibly ever told anyone else. He felt a little grateful that Severus had trusted him enough to tell him, but he was also saddened that Severus had been put through that. It sort of made sense why Severus was so bitter and un-trusting toward people. It took James over a year of hard work for Severus to have gotten to the point of telling him such a terrible memory.

James reached forward and suddenly embraced Severus. Severus flinched and froze before growling, "What are you doing?" James noticed that if he wasn't warned about the affections he was receiving then it made him bristle terribly.

"I'm hugging you. I thought you were smart enough to know that," James tried to joke. He wanted to change the subject.

Severus pushed him off and used his shoe to press against James' chest as a way to firmly keep him away, "Don't test me. I'm not particularly in the mood for your random and arrogant embraces." James silently agreed as he looked at Severus' hard and dark face. He decided to risk it anyway.

He pushed Severus' shoe to the side and pushed his book to the ground beside them. He sat closer beside him and wrapped both of his arms around him. He eventually felt Severus relax into his embrace and they both watched as the sun slowly set. The night brought on an even greater chill and James felt Severus lean farther into his embrace.

"Who was the muggle in your family?" James asked it quietly, but he felt Severus flinch at the suddenness of the question. James was insanely afraid after asking the question. It had escaped from his mouth before he could stop it and he immediately expected Severus to snap and yell at him. Maybe even hex him... He knew enough spells to (hopefully) hex James with a less serious one.

"What did you say?" It wasn't asked harshly. He sounded to James as if he truly hadn't heard and was curious to what he asked. That made him relax noticeably.

"Who... Who was the muggle in your family? You said that your dad had a muggle job, but that he didn't allow magic... Were you muggle born or just half?."

"My father was a muggle and my mother was a witch. Merlin only knows how they ever got together. I would have liked to think that Dad was a better drunk before I came along. I feel like I was the end to a happiness they shared."

James winced at the words, "I'm sure it wasn't you, Severus."

Severus turned around in James' embrace so he could look at him, "You met my mother. Do you feel like she was happy about me being born?" James said nothing back, only tightening his grip on Severus.

November came rather quickly and James was confident for his match against Slytherin. As normal, people of Gryffindor wished him luck for the match that would take place that Saturday. Slytherins sneered at him and warned him to watch out or he would regret it. He definitely didn't get the attention as hard as the Seeker and team captain, but he was popular enough that people either looked at him as if the team would lose or win by his actions. Being a chaser was an important position, no doubt, but it still wasn't as important as the seeker.

He asked Severus if he would be in the stands cheering for him, but Severus shrugged and told him that he never really cared for the sport, but he would be cheering for his own team. "How ridiculous would it look if I sat there and cheered for the enemy team?" He said quickly when he saw the crestfallen look on James' face. He had a point, but James would never admit it.

Sirius and Remus surrounded him at breakfast and Sirius nudged his shoulder, "You'll do great, mate. You've never lost a game yet."

Remus nodded in agreement and gave an encouraging smile, "Oh, there shouldn't be anything to worry about today. The sun is out, its still chilly, but at least the sun is a welcomed warmth. I heard that the Seeker had the flu and couldn't see two feet in front of his face. If that's the case, then there could be no way possible to lose."

Peter sat beside the two, smiling like an idiot and nodding his head in agreement, "Yeah, James! The games as good as won."

James smiled at all three of his friends, feeling even more confident than when he entered the room. This is exactly why he needed his friends in his life. They were always there to encourage, support, and be there for him at his highest and lowest moments. He truly treasured every single one of them.

The game came quickly that evening and James felt the familiar twist and turn in his stomach from the nervousness of a big game. He glanced out of the dressing room at the crowd. The whole stands were filled and there was yells and cheers from every direction. He looked behind him when the captain called for their attention. It was the normal pep talk of do good, remember the strategies of practice, and do not let the Slytherins win.

The game went by fast and yet slow at the same time. The announcer was loud in James' ears and he tried at the beginning to find Severus in the crowd, but gave up when he needed to pay attention to the game. The score was rather close and that bothered him until the crowd screamed in delight and disappointment when the Gryffindor Seeker grabbed the famous golden snitch. That was the end of the game.

Before he knew it, they were in the Gryffindor common room celebrating the wonderful and not surprising victory. Alcohol was passed around the few that dared to wake the next day with a hang over and that included Sirius and James. Remus had saw the booze and immediately excused himself to his chambers, being one of the only ones to retire early. James took a lot to get tipsy, and boy, he was absolutely wasted. Sirius was a little better off than him, but by not much.

"That... That was absolutely, fucking amazing, James! Such a nice... Nice save," Peter slurred to his two friends. Peter had barely had a few glasses of Fire Whiskey, yet he was absolutely drunk.

James laughed and tilted his head back to finish off, what he told himself, was his final glass, "I didn't do anything impressive, you little kiss ass!" All three laughed.

"Now, come on, James... There were a few times that you did an amazing job of... Chasing! Yes, Chasing, that's what it was," Sirius mumbled as an after thought before finishing off his glass and then pouring himself another.

Before James could reply, there was a gentle tap on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Lily Evens standing there with a small smile, beaming down at him, "Congratulations on the win." She watched him stand and James was impressed with himself for not stumbling. In her eyes, he was perfectly fine. Sure, he had taken quite a few drinks, but she had watched him act so casual. That's exactly what he was at that moment with his hands in his pockets. Casual.

"Thanks Lily, I didn't do most of the work though... It was a great team effort."

This made her smile more and she giggled, "James, I never knew you to be so modest. You used to take all the credit and say that everything was thanks to you."

He chuckled a little awkwardly and scratched at the nape of his wild and brown hair, "Well, I suppose I've changed..."

"Matured would be the better word," She said with a rather impressed look on her face. She gave a small nibble to her bottom lip and in the low light, he saw her blush. She spoke softly this time, pointing at the portrait entrance, "James... I sort of wanted to talk to you."

James, with the influence of alcohol and ignorance smile and nodded, seeing no danger in the action. He followed her out of the portrait hole and smiled sort of dumbly. Oh, yes. His mind was absolutely blank. All he could think was, Wow... It's rather dark out here. What if someone got lost? Dear Merlin, that would be a nightmare. What if there was-

His mind snapped alert when he was pushed against the wall near the portrait rather roughly. Well, Evans sure did have some strength to her? He saw in her eyes a hazy look as if she had also been drinking and didn't move when she pulled him by his collar down to her height and her lips found his. His mind had been alert, but at the feeling of warm lips against his, which had been such a natural sensation to him through the last few weeks, he kissed back with his mind going blank once again. He didn't stop there. No, he was following her movements and pulling her closer to his body, feeling a sort of familiarity in her warmth. Such a small body... Much smaller than Severus. He didn't mind the difference. Severus had once felt this small to him and-

Severus! What the fuck was he thinking! He pulled back as fast as he could and looked down at her with wide eyes. Her light pink lipstick was smeared along her lips and he could only imagine how his was. Her eyes were closed until he had pulled back. She opened her mouth to speak, but the portrait hole had opened at that moment and out stumbled Sirius. He was rather green in the face and it was obvious that he was trying rather hard to not empty his stomach then.

He turned to them and swallowed something in his mouth, slurring as he said, "Who... Oh, its you guys... Snogging a bit?"

Lilys face reddened considerably and she went past Sirius and back into the portrait hole where someone laughed and screamed. It was dark once again and it took a moment for James to see Sirius more clearly.

Sirius stared at James and he stared right back at him, "Did you break up with Severus, then?"

James bent over and his stomach emptied and splashed onto the floor. Sirius gagged and turned away, but still did the same as James.

Ok, so I got my wand in a week early and you would not believe how hard I fangirled... I bought Severus' wand and I annoyed my whole family with facts about him, spells that I would love to use, and that I was totally going to cosplay as a female Severus now, because dammit, I never knew the feels I would get from holding his wand. Plus, I have the nose, pale skin, and lanky figure as him... The wand's actually pretty accurate too from what I can tell.

Ok, back to an important story update: I have changed one of the genres to tragedy instead of drama, because the more I thought about how I would end this story, it would basically be incredibly tragic... So if you can't handle tragedy, terribly sorry, and I'm also sorry that I only just now changed it this late into the story. I had planned the ending about three chapters in and I only just now realized the fact that I needed to seriously change it. Shout out to blackfallstar9 for reminding me that I needed to do that so people's hopes won't get up.

Stay beautiful, Lovelies!