Thanks everyone for your reviews! Here's Chapter 9b/ and the beginning of Chapter 10! Hope you enjoy these chapters. :)
Chapter 9 b/
Padmé Skywalker felt the water drip on her fingers, the soap erupting in bubbles around her.
She laughed.
Leia giggled in her arms and she nuzzled the baby's smooth skin.
"Now you're all proper, little Princess." She whispered, kissing the small snippet of hair on the baby girl's head.
She held her daughter close, feeling tears of relief come up in her eyes at the thought of never looking at the bundle of perfection in her arms.
"Milady?"
Dormé's voice startled her and she spun around, still holding Leia in her arms and pressing the towel around the tiny body.
"You should have asked me to-"
"No."
"But you are still weak, milady…"
"No," she repeated.
Her answer was firm. She had spent so little time with them. So little. She wanted to be with them all the time now.
And it helped her keep busy.
She was finally able to stop thinking.
Dormé looked embarrassed. Padmé sighed. She had appreciated her most faithful handmaiden's presence after her awakening. And yet even though she had nothing to do with all this, Dormé was a symbol of the past and the symbol of her prison now.
"Milady," she added when Padmé had been silent again, dressing her daughter. "Your family wishes to speak to you."
Her heart pounded louder, relief pouring into her.
A little while later she was settling in front of the Holoconsole, switching it on.
Her worried mother appeared before her, looking relieved when she saw her daughter.
"Padmé!" Jobal exclaimed. "We wanted to come to Coruscant as soon as we heard about everything but they're filtering all exits and all communications from Naboo now-"
"It's all right, Mom," the young woman said, a smile on her lips and relief filling her as she felt Padmé again.
"How are you feeling?"
"Good."
As good as I can be…
"Is it true?" Jobal asked almost immediately, looking horrified. "That you are married to that Jedi, that you have two children? That you are now…"
She trailed off but she knew what she wanted to say. The title was too horrible to be pronounced.
"Yes," she acknowledged quietly.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Now, there was no longer concern in her voice but accusation.
"It was forbidden at that time. I didn't want this burden on your shoulders…"
Her mother looked at her suspiciously.
"Is there something you're hiding, Padmé?"
She frowned. "What? No."
"Do you know there are guards around our home for protection? Your father is really angry. He keeps saying you disappointed him."
Padmé struggled against the tears. Somehow even after all these years, knowing that she, who had always made him proud, was now failing in his eyes, hurt even more than the Queen's sanction when she took away her title of Senator.
"Padmé… there must be an explanation! Are you held against your consent? Did this Jedi use a mindtrick on you?"
The connection flickered. Padmé frowned.
"No, Mom. I'm here by my own will."
"And you are going to rule?" Her mother's voice was filled with horror. And disappointment.
Padmé swallowed against the lump in her throat.
"I-" she stammered, passing a hand in her hair weakly. How could she explain this mess? And she had the nagging suspicion this conversation was listened to.
"I'll come to explain all this to you. And bring you Luke and Leia."
She smiled slightly. Her mother did not.
"Do you realize we heard of their names through the HoloNet?"
She sounded so sad Padmé felt her heart squeeze.
"I'm sorry, Mom. I wanted to tell you but I couldn't-"
"I'm not even sure your father wants to see you for now." Her mother cut her off gently. "He has really been disappointed. People around here are confused…" she trailed off. "I have to go. Take care of yourself and my grandchildren, my dear."
She didn't have the time to respond. Her mother's soothing face had disappeared.
She sat there, staring at her own hands for a long time.
Padmé sat on her bed, draped in the darkness, eyes lost in the traffic outside. The chambers were indecent in their opulence. What constituted her private rooms was the equivalent of her former apartment. Now she was slightly better, she could sleep in Anakin's bedroom if she wanted to. But she had stuck to her own chambers somehow. He came here late at night most of the time anyway. He sat next to her as she drifted to sleep.
She could only let him hold her hand.
She could not bear anything else for now.
Sometimes, in the middle of the night, she could almost feel the phantom sensation of his fingers pressing around her throat. She would not be able to sleep after such nightmares. And for some unknown reason, she had a feeling he didn't want to sleep next to her either.
The sudden sound of footsteps barely startled her. Anakin was here earlier than usual.
"My family hates me."
She spoke the words as soon as he stepped into her bedroom.
"Why?" he asked, frowning as he stripped off from his dark clothes progressively.
She admired him from afar, still feeling her heart beat a little bit faster as he stood before her, bare-chested.
"Because I betrayed all of them…" she whispered.
He sighed, put his black tunic on a nearby chair and came closer.
"They will understand in time."
She shook her head sadly. "My family… We have strong ideals. My parents didn't raise me like this."
"They'll be proud of you once they see the good you'll bring to the galaxy."
Padmé pursed her lips.
"What good did this Empire bring for now?"
Her eyes sent him cold daggers even in the dark room.
"I heard the reports on the Holonet…" she went on, "They're fake, I know it. There's something going on, on the other side of Bakura, right?"
Anakin flinched visibly.
"I'll tell you all about these projects when you really decide to be involved."
"I don't want to be involved. But what I want doesn't matter, does it?"
Her voice had grown bitter within the past few days. She was bitter. Her eyes drifted away before focusing on his face again as he knelt before her gently.
"I'll give you everything you want, Padmé."
She looked away.
"I can't give you this…" he whispered, obviously picking up on her thoughts again.
"Why?" she asked hoarsely. It felt like they were going in circles, never really ending this conversation, both too stubborn to give in.
For once the answer came precisely, clear-cut, leaving no shadow of doubt.
"Because this is the only way to maintain peace in the galaxy. Because I won't let Jedi or others harm you or the twins. Because my choice was made a long time ago."
He sounded forlorn for once. Her eyes refocused on him. His head was bent down, so close and so far away at the same time.
Your choice… Not mine.
"I need you, Padmé…" he whispered, his hands caressing the side of her legs slightly. "It doesn't mean anything without you."
She swallowed against the lump in her throat.
"You don't need the dark side anymore to save me. You don't love me enough to let go of your lust for power."
He looked surprised, a frown marring his forehead suddenly.
"I love you too much to leave you without protection. Do you know Jedi will go after our children?" Now, he sounded angry, getting to his feet and pacing angrily. "Jedi will stop at nothing, either to take them away from us or to kill them. I will not let them do that!"
She sighed deeply.
"If you brought back democracy, the remaining Jedi would be forced to-"
"I'm tired of you saying that word! What did democracy bring? Wars, destruction, corruption, slavery!"
She felt the ache in her chest amplify. She was about to say something more when he took a deep shuddering breath, visibly trying to calm himself.
"I don't want to talk about this any longer. I will not change my mind and that's final."
And with that, he strode away from her room, visibly joining his.
Padmé sighed in the suddenly silent room.