Chapter 11: Seven Little Candles
Renesmee's POV
Life if full of unexpected turns and twists, I've learned that on my voyage to self discovery. This time last year, I was sitting at home with my family, opening presents and eating cake, along with my Uncle Emmett, who gagged it up later. I even have a picture to prove it. This all seemed like it was a million years ago now. I have become a different person, as if I was experiencing the world through different eyes. Things were clearer, more realistic, I knew Alec was the cause of all this. I also knew that he didn't want us to get too involved, but after a nights rest I realized I didn't care anymore.
I didn't care if he was scared or not, or what our families thought of it, I knew what I wanted. I wanted him. Not just in a physical aspect, my feelings ran deeper than that, although I didn't know exactly how deep they were, it was enough. I wasn't stupid, somewhere deep in my brain I knew I was being irrational, and it was dangerous. That was an understatement. He was a Volturi, an enemy to my coven, -sort of- and not only that, we had completely different diets, he fed on humans, I obviously didn't. It nearly killed me yesterday to witness what I had, it was one of the hardest things I had to endure in my short existence. Was I willing to go through that everyday for him? Was I willing to look past the fact he was murdering innocent people, while I sat back and fed on animals?
So many questions, so many headaches.
I currently had a headache, which was part of the reason why I was taking a shower. I was hoping it would help, it wasn't.
Though the knob was on hot, it felt cold against me as it ran over my face and body, my hands holding me against the tiled wall.
I looked down at my body, so inexperienced, yet so ready. The kiss yesterday had stirred up things I didn't know were fathomable. It was the most erotic thing I had ever experienced, his tongue invading my mouth, it felt better than I imagined it to be, and it definitely tasted better too. I wondered then what he would look like here with me now, his naked, pale skin dripping wet as it held me. My body ached for him as I thought about him planting kisses along my own naked body. His eyes bold and daring, staring into me as his hands explored my lower region. He then would slowly get down on his knees, trail kisses down my stomach, his red eyes, standing out against the steam, would never leave me, his hands gripping the back of my thighs as he did so, massaging them repeatedly, further and further his lips went until they finally reached the tip of my nest of curls. Stupid imagination.
Meanwhile in reality, I was bracing the walls of the shower, breaking a small shelf that held soaps and the shampoos, trying to keep the moans from escaping my lips. I was getting too carried away with my little fantasy. My heart felt as though it had stopped all together, my stomach turning, my breathing turning into heaves.
I was insane.
It was bad enough that I wanted him, but now I was succumbing to daydreams? At least I was in the shower, Alec couldn't catch me in here, not that I didn't want him to.
I need help!
What is this? I thought I was suppose to become a woman this year, not a complete horn dog! Did I miss the memo? My mother had not warned me about this. Maybe my body was catching up with my mind, finally. But if this is what my mind was going to be thinking about all the time, I was screwed.
I had to gain control of this, at least long enough for my party.
Speaking of, it was tonight, and I still had no clue what I was going to wear. I had run out of clothes completely, and I had no time to shop.
Turning off the water, I wrapped a peach color towel around my body, wiped off the steamy mirror, looking at my reflection. Truth be told, I looked rough. I had dark circles under my eyes, my face was flushed. It didn't help matters that I was thirsty, but didn't have the guts to tell anyone about it. I glanced at the mirror one last time, trying to think positive, but it was getting harder.
I had never thought of myself as beautiful, and when I told my family that they thought I was being modest. I had dreamed ever since I was little, that I would have one of those days where I could walk into a room where a boy would see me as not being abnormally gorgeous, but to look at me as though he loved me for who I was, inside and out.
It'll never happen.
With that thought, I walked out of the bathroom to see boxes and boxes full of clothes.
My mind started to search for an explanation, the only person who I could think of who would buy me clothes was Alice, but she wasn't here, and she didn't know where I was, as far as I knew.
As I opened the boxes, my eyes caught glance of a piece of paper sticking out. I picked it up to read:
Thought you could use these, not that I don't prefer you in your undergarments, I figured you could use the covering.
Do them justice,
Alec.
My eyes scanned the words over and over, studying the curves and delicate form of his handwriting. It looked like calligraphy in my eyes. I tossed the note on the bed and started to look through the clothes. They were tasteful, full of colors, solid patterns, and vintage styles.
He knew me well.
Everything in the boxes seemed to be about my size, nothing too big or small, nothing too drastic, which suited me fine.
I picked out something to wear from the first box of clothes, It was a black spaghetti strap shirt, some simple blue jeans that suited my figure well, and flip-flops. It seemed like I wasn't putting much effort into this outfit, but truth be told I just didn't really care. I was thankful for the clothes, and I should thank him properly shouldn't I? after all, he went out of his way to buy me clothes, and Besides, Alec deserved to give me a proper answer to my question from yesterday. I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to know how he felt about me, and I hadn't forgotten about it. Plus, I asked him a favor, which he made a mockery of, I wanted to know his answer on that one too.
I felt like I was the one who always wanted answers from him, and he never cooperated. It was starting to get annoying.
Yet another adventure in the world of Alec.
Pulling back my hair into a ponytail, I started heading to Alec's room, even though I didn't know if he was there or not.
Knocking twice on the door, I began to get very nervous, it was a little earlier than I usually saw him. I wasn't even sure of what to expect. Would he be shocked to see me? Would he be angry at me showing up at his door? The more I stood there, the more I wanted to run, and was about to, but as soon as I turned to leave, I heard the click of the door opening, it was to late, I had to stay.
I was right about not knowing what to expect, because I wasn't expecting to see what I saw when he opened the door to greet me. I wasn't prepared for this type of morning at all.
"Renesmee, what're you doing here?" Alec said, leaning against the frame of the door. The pressure of his gaze building on my face.
I never looked up at his face, I barley even heard him, I was too distracted by the lack of clothing that I was witnessing on his body. My eyes staying completely still as they moved along his chest. He had to open the door shirtless, didn't he?
Did he not have any sense of my feelings? I mean I know he liked to tease me, but this was going a little too far for comfort.
I had seen a glimpse of his chest once before, I knew that, but it still didn't prepare me for this.
He was flawless, medium build, slightly defined abs and his skin was smooth and beautiful. For a split second I thought about my vision of him in the shower, it didn't do him justice. None whatsoever. The vision I created of him in my head was nowhere near this.
As my eyes scanned his upper chest, I spent too much time focusing on a long chained necklace hanging in between his pecks. The necklace seemed to be like a cherry on top of a fantastic sundae, a sundae I was finding myself wanting to devour whole.
The necklace itself was silver, and the crest was in the form was a V. It was so strange I had never noticed it before, not on him at least, and I had the urge to reach out and touch it.
His body was like a piece of rare art, one that I would wait in line to see in a museum, proudly. I couldn't stop staring at him, I was speechless, with my mouth hanging open like a moron.
"Nez?" He repeated, raising an eyebrow.
I managed to tear my eyes away from the lower half of his body and look up at his face finally. He looked concerned, while I'm sure I looked pretty idiotic; gaping at him like that.
Alec then gestured for me to wait a moment, which I was hoping for because to be honest, I needed a moment to get my head in gear.
After a few seconds waiting, the door swung open and he came out wearing a black dress shirt along with a red scarf that looked almost as silky as my sheets.
I tried not to laugh at it, because didn't want to offend his style, but I hadn't noticed him wearing a scarf before, it caught me off guard. It was like he was dressing up for a Harry Potter convention or something, holding my giggles, Alec then spoke.
"What can I do for you today?" He asked, as I tried to hide a smile, as I looked into those red eyes, I found myself not wanting to resist.
Keeping a level head, I stepped up closer to him and ran my fingers along the soft material of the scarf, gripping onto the collar of his shirt as I did. He looked bewildered, but his body seemed to enjoy my gesture.
"Well, I came to ask about whether or not your coming with me tonight to the party, but I'm getting distracted by your unique choice of clothing…" He looked down at my hands, that were holding on to the scarf. I slowly pulled it off, his eyes closed as the silk brushed against his neck, breathing in deeply.
I took it in my hands and began to fumble with it, twisting it around my fingers. Alec stared, his body was a complete statue, as I continued to play. he looked like he was beyond annoyed and intrigued all at once.
Looking up at his eyes, they looked brighter than usual, and his mouth was parted a little. I liked his response to me, so much that I began to breath on the scarf, making sure that my lips touched it. Glancing at Alec, his brows raised. His chest wasn't moving.
"Your…breathing on my scarf."
"Oh, am I offending its honor?"
"Well it was a gift from Jane." He said jokingly, as if that was the reason why it was being offended.
I smirked and shrugged, throwing it back around his neck, tugging him closer to me.
My heart felt lighter to have him this close, his lips inches from mine. He smelled amazing, as per usual, and I inhaled deeply to carve it in my memory, I wanted to stay here for as long as possible, and it did seem like a while until he spoke, breaking the spell.
"Before you insulted my wardrobe, you were asking me about tonight?"
I nodded, making a mhm sound, Alec tilted his head as I fixed his collar. His hands finding themselves on my waist, pulling me closer. His eyes were smoothing me once again. They were starting to make me dizzy. I pushed him slightly against his bedroom door, looking around the halls, in case anyone saw us. There was no one to be seen.
"You teased me enough yesterday, besides, I also came to thank you for the boxes."
"Boxes?"
"The clothes, in my--"
"Oh that. Well you needed something a little more then a sports bra, and who says I made up my mind about tonight?"
I smirked. He was such a tease, that it was beginning to become so predicable. Smiling at him, I wrapped my arms around his neck, intertwining my fingers together. I was so new at this kind of thing. Never in my life had I actually tried to seduce another person before, and I didn't even know if I was doing it right. but my knees began to shake, making Alec laugh at my attempts. His teeth were so white, they brightened up his face, making him look as if he was a completely different person. I found myself liking that person, much more then the usual Alec, and was making a promise to myself to make him smile more. It was like his smile made my world whole.
"Come with me tonight." I whispered, against his mouth, running my hands in his brown hair. Alec's head fell back against the door, as he stared up at the ceiling, sighing. I was so determined to get what I wanted out of him that I would do just about anything, and I would get it. I had too. It was so strange being this way with him. So abnormal that I just didn't know what was coming over me. It was like now that I realized my feelings for him were more then lust, it was becoming more clearer that I belonged with him. I just needed him to realize the same.
"And what? Ruin the surprise, I wouldn't think of it."
I laughed, grabbing hold on the scarf and pulling him along with it. His eyes widen as he reluctantly walked along with me, wrapping his cool hands around my stomach, making every nerve in my body awake.
Having him this close made me feel like my dream was coming true. Like he was the boy, looking at me in awe, and I was his universe, my breathing patterns increase with the thought.
Alec then began to kiss my neck, effecting my heart rate as he always did. I was beginning to believe that it would happen a lot with him around if we were together. Possibly everyday, and I liked it, more then before.
The further we walked down the hall, the more I started to laugh at what we were doing. Placing my hand over his, then I wrapped my other hand around his neck, feeling his cool lips smirk against my skin. It looked like we were in a secret affair almost. What with him planting butterfly kisses and everything, as I looked around the hallway, my body started to tremble. It was like no one else was allowed to know what we were doing, and it kind of felt dangerous in a way that it thrilled me. Alec just couldn't get me closer to him, I couldn't understand why, but it seemed like it was never enough, but what shocked me more then my emotions, was his reaction to everything I was doing, because He was so different today then yesterday.
Yesterday it felt like he was pulling away, but now he was encouraging my foreplay. I didn't understand why, but it made me feel good. Almost like he was tired of fighting his emotions as well. It was giving me hope, that is until he jumped in front of me and began trying to take his scarf out of my hands. Loosing the battle, of course.
I wasn't going to give up this easily. I wanted more of this, and he knew that now. How can he not?
Maybe I was being too pushy, but I knew how Alec worked now. He was a guy. He wanted me. That was obvious and proven on more then one account, and I saw nothing wrong with me playing with the hand that I was dealt with. Not one bit. It was my birthday after all, and I deserved this.
"I can get the answer out of you Alec, one way or another, we both know this.." I said, closing my eyes, as I pulled, making him step into me nearly causing me to trip, giving him a warning look, I smiled innocently as a smirk came to his mouth, he didn't say anything for a while, lost for words it would seem, so I took his silence as a green light and leaned in, brushing my lips softly alongside his. He then turned his face, and I began to kiss his cheek, and was completely comfortable with the change. I was finding that no matter where my lips kissed him, it tasted wonderful.
"Now, Nez, We have to behave and talk about this before we get too lost--"
"No…we'll talk later.."
Alec didn't like my persistence, but he didn't completely stop me like I knew he could. Instead he just cupped my face, and laughed.
"Your going to get us both killed, we need to focus--"
Suddenly, before Alec could finish his sentence, I felt a presence behind me, and by the look on Alec's face, as he looked over my shoulder, I knew it wasn't just my imagination. Slowing turning around, I was looked over to see Felix, whose smile covered almost his entire face.
"Felix," Alec said, stepping away from me, as he fixed that ridiculous scarf of his. Felix nodded approvingly at both of us, as Alec kept his face forward, his expression very serious, I don't know why, being that it was Felix but, I felt really embarrassed about him witnessing my and Alec's encounter. I mean, he saw us kiss, sure but this seemed more private. It was something I wanted to keep for myself, he seemed to understand that without me having to say a word though. For that, I was grateful. I was also happy that it was someone I trusted rather then Alec's sister again. That wouldn't of been pretty.
"Sorry to bother you when your--Um..….Aro needs us for a execution."
Execution? Oh my god---
"Give me a moment please?" Alec asked, nodding to Felix as he pulled us few feet away. Alec then turned to face me, his hand holding on to my own, as he tried to get my attention, but I couldn't look at him, and understand anything thing that was happening. Everything around me seemed like a dream, they every Volturi member just played nice, when in reality they were all killers. They were going to end someone's life, and for what reason? Was it to feed? Did the one meant to die, break their trust? I couldn't wrap my head around it. I was going to say something to try to prevent this event from happening, but I realized that I had lost all my motor skills completely. My body was frozen, my face staring at Felix.
Felix of all people!
How could someone like Felix just end someone's life? Had I misjudged his whole being, and based it on how he treated me? I couldn't see it. I couldn't see my friend going and killing someone for no reason. There had to be a reason. As my eyes looked for a sign of guilty from Felix, I felt Alec's hands turning my face towards his, his voice sounding urgent.
"I have to go…"
I started shaking my head, my hands pulling Alec's body closer, desperately trying to hold him in place, but I didn't have the strength in my upper arms apparently, because without effort Alec freed himself from my gasp.
I knew I couldn't stop him. One person doesn't have the power to do such a thing, but I felt like I knew Alec to be better then this. He was so much more then Aro's handy man, the problem is, I don't think Alec himself didn't see it to be true.
"It's my Job, you weren't meant to--"
"You don't want to. I know you don't want to kill--"
"I have too. Now, I'm going with Felix and I'll see you at the party." he soothed, kissing my forehead lightly, as if to remind me the realities of our relationship. My heart sank in my chest as he gave my hand a tight squeeze. Alec then began to walk away slowly, but his eyes never left my face, like he was trying to remind me to breathe. For which I found to be helpful. As soon as Alec was gone, Felix was at my side, patting me on the back as he usually did, showing me a apologetic grin. I couldn't look at him in the face though. There was a line that was becoming visible with Felix. I realized. On one side, there was the vampire who was my friend, and on the other there was Aro's Felix. Ready to do the man's work. I liked the other Felix so much better then this one, because this one, was the one back in the alley. Ready to kill me if needed, the memory gave me shivers.
"Little Nez, you don't have to worry about--"
"I understand Felix." I said, giving him a smile, as I held in the fear.
Felix simply nodded, as he started to walk in the same direction that Alec had disappeared into, and when I thought that Felix was gone completely, I quickly turned to go back to my room, only to see that he hadn't. instead, Felix was in front of me, a smile to his face, with his arms crossed.
"Before I go, I wanted to let you know, he likes you, Alec I mean, and as a friend, I got you something that will knock him on his ass. No need for thanks. Just know it's probably in your room by now. I know, I know, I'm awesome." He joked, showing signs of the Felix I knew and loved. I rolled my eyes as he winked and began to walk away to end someone's life.
I suddenly felt cold and alone and exposed. I hugged myself, trying to get the image of Alec standing guard as Felix tore the vampire apart out of my head, if it was a vampire. It sounded mean, but I hoped it was instead of a human, because then they would at least be able to put up a fight, a little one but a fight nonetheless. I wondered if I would hear the screams, then I realized I didn't want to so I ran to my room as fast as I possibly could, down the hall.
Seeing my door, it felt like heaven; like it was the only safe place in Volturra. Nearly breaking it down, I stormed in my room and quickly shut the door tight.
bracing myself against it with my back, as if to keep it closed, giving a sigh of relief. I hadn't even realized I wasn't even alone until I heard a suave, calming voice from across the room speaking to me.
"And I said to myself, why would a young girl with such a pretty face be running into a room out of breath? Could it be she realized she was in the home of the Volturi?" Said the woman, my eyes shot open to see who's face went with the voice I didn't recognize, only to see the vampire who was baiting the humans from the other day.
She looked to be about in her mid twenties, but looks can be very deceiving. She had dark brown hair that went past her shoulders, pretty narrow red eyes, and a body of a supermodel. Curves in all the right places, she started to glide towards me, as if she was on the runway, I stayed perfectly still, giving her a puzzled look.
Her dress was a rich emerald green color, that had a low V neck, and a slit that went almost to her thigh. She was beautiful, almost as beautiful as my aunt Rose, but Rose wasn't nearly as tall.
"I already knew where I was, however I think you might be lost." I said, backing into the door, trying not to show how scared I truly was. The woman then started laughing, showing all her pretty little whites, making me even more scared, because usually when a vampire laughed, it showed off their choice of weapons, which was never a good sign.
"Such a funny little Cullen, aren't you?" She said, trying to contain herself from her own joke, that I was not aware of. " I'm Heidi, now I know what your thinking, Heidi as in the little girl with the curls in her hair, with the mean old grandpa, right?"
I shook my head quickly, because to be perfectly honest, I had no idea what she was talking about.
Note to self: Look up this insane story about a girl named Heidi, who apparently has curly hair. Obviously it's important.
After a moment of hesitation from both of us, I began to wonder why Heidi had decided to come into my room in the first place, simply to see my answers be given.
"Oh well then no worries child, I'm only here as a favor to Felix. No biting involved today." she joked, as she picked up what looked like a garment bag, handing me the card that was attached.
Cautiously stepping closer, I reached over to grab hold of the note, only to have Heidi playfully snatch it away from me. I hid a smile and I quickly dodged for it again. This time succeeding.
Opening to note eagerly, I saw that it was from Felix. I didn't know how he had the time to manage this, I had no doubt it was without good intention on his part. The note read as followed:
Little Nez,
For you, I picked this dress out. (if you want to call it a dress.) Wear it. May tonight you be brave and spill the beans, eh? I'm also sending Heidi, on the fact that she's a chick that can actually dress herself. No worries, she's not gonna kill you.
Your Friend and front man,
Felix
Unbelievable.
I couldn't believe that Felix would go though all of this just to try and get me to talk to Alec about something that's apparently not going to change anything. Though I wanted to tell Alec how I felt, I doubt it would matter, given this mornings display of attention. He was just about to give in to everything, I felt that much, when suddenly he backed away again. I was getting really tired of it. He's like leaving me with all this hope, only to be selfish and kill any chance I have with him. I didn't understand. It was like he was hiding something from me, and he doesn't think I'd understand. But I would. Nothing can surprise me anymore with the Volturi. Nothing.
Looking back at the words that Felix had written I quickly crumbled the piece of paper, and threw it in my dresser before Heidi could see.
Of all people to help me get ready for tonight, he sends the one person who lures innocent people to die, how nice of him. Still, he was right about one thing, Heidi could dress, and she looked happy to help me. Even if I wasn't too happy myself.
Picking up the garment bag, Heidi unzipped it and pulled out the most revealing, yet beautiful dress I had ever laid eyes on.
What the hell, Felix?
The dress was barely a dress at all! What with it not having a back practically, nor basic sides for that matter. The top itself looked like a top of a bathing suit that was attached to rest of the dress, which flowed all the way to the ground as a A-line gown. The top part of it was like a halter top, seeming like it would show a little cleavage.
I just stood there staring at it, with my mouth hung open as wide as it could go.
The color was pretty, it was true; a brilliant shade of purple, and with the material that the dress was made of, it looked like it could shine, the straps would curve to my shoulder blades.
What did Felix have in mind? That Alec would jump me if he saw me in this? Because this dress didn't leave much to the mind's eye, even the neck line was low. It was as if the goal of this dress designer was to show as much skin as possible.
I just couldn't imagine myself in it. I was some what modest most of the time about my body, and I liked myself covered, especially around Alec. That time in the phone booth, doesn't count of course. This is so ridiculous, and when I was just about to put my foot down I heard Heidi clear her throat to break my train of thoughts.
"Men, they always think that a girl in a skimpy dress would make a party a party. Still it would be flattering on you." Heidi said, taking my hand and pulling me in the middle of my room so she could observe me. I stayed completely still, just eyeing the dress that was picked out for me as Heidi walked circles around me.
"Flattering? Maybe on you." I said, as I felt Heidi tilt up my chin with her cold finger, my heart rate began to increase as always as I blushed.
"Silly girl, you will be beautiful, even more so then what you are. Cleary they gave me much to work with here, and I'm thrilled. What with your father's looks, and your mother's human eyes. You must have many boyfriends at home."
"Of course, tons." I said, trying to sound reassuring, though I knew she could see right past my lies. I always was a terrible liar, I guess I'd have to thank my mother for that, seeing a smile come to Heidi's face.
"You're single, aren't you?"
"Pretty much. Yeah."
We both laughed, as she circled me once again, this time checking my posture. Given the position this woman had in the Volturi's coven, it was shocking to me that I was finding myself actually enjoying her company. I thought I would hate her, but the more time she spend with me, the more time I couldn't find it within self to do so. She was after all the first female vampire that I actually had a conversation since arriving, and so far, she was beyond kind to me, with a sense of humor, and that is something the Volturi desperately needed.
After pulling me to the bathroom and shoving me into the chair in front of the vanity table, playing with my hair for a moment, I realized I had no clue as to what she had in mind for me. That brought up some fear in itself. Good fear, because a part of me trusted her completely, and another part of me hated not knowing.
"So, Alec seems fond of you."
My eyes widened at the sound of Alec's name coming from Heidi's mouth. It sounded so friendly, and certain. It made me wonder how much did this woman actually see around here anyway? I mean, with her leaving and coming back all the time, it confused me on why she sounded so sure of Alec's fondness. When in my mind, I thought Alec was becoming bipolar and emotionally retarded because of me.
"Alec told you that?" I asked, sounding skeptic.
"No, I can tell. Last night he just kept going on and on about some game called Marco Polo. Whatever that meant. He was laughing, I haven't heard laughter from him since he was a child, when I first saw him, and I can only guess it's because of you."
"You saw him as a human?"
She nodded.
"Once or twice, and believe me, he should count his blessings on becoming a vampire so young. That boy had the biggest smile I'd ever witnessed, and chubby cheeks to match, and those eyes? Tsk, tsk." Heidi said, turning to face me, as she searched the bathroom for the make-up that she obviously had bought for the occasion. I had never really wore makeup, so I was scared to see how the results would look.
I was also a bit jealous at the fact that Heidi had been able to see Alec when he was a human. I tried to imagine him in my mind as a young boy, with clear blue eyes and from what Heidi said, chubby cheeks.
Alec with chubby cheeks, I could've laughed if I wasn't in a trance of my figment of my imagination. Most of all though, I wanted to see him laugh, like Heidi said he had. He barley laughed now, so trying to picture him laughing then made my heart ache.
I wonder if Jane laughed as well. Hmph, I doubt it.
"Blue eyes, I know…" I finished for her, still sulking on the fact that I would never be able to see them for myself.
Heidi stopped roaming for whatever it was she was looking for and looked at me with suspicion in those eyes of hers. Then a small smile curved that looked more like a smirk.
I had given too much away -yet again- about my feelings for him. I couldn't keep something to myself to save my life.
"Looks like Alec's not the only one whose smitten."
Now I was going to go into a state of shock and make a good but failed attempts to lie through my teeth, I was like clockwork.
"Its- its not what your thinking." I never ceased to surprise myself. I was a terrible liar.
Heidi of course didn't buy it anymore than I had. She nodded skeptically, grabbed some makeup and hair products, and started dabbing whatever she could on my face.
"Sure its not. Because the blushing and awkward, tensed manner of yours isn't a dead giveaway at all." She said sarcastically with a giggle.
I was tempted to just give in and tell her the truth, but I'd rather keep it to myself and deny her the satisfaction, at least as long as I could. Heidi seemed like the kind of person who was good at getting the truth out of somebody. I admired that, but not enough to give in.
I continued to stay silent as she fixed my makeup, I was curious to see how I looked, but she had purposely turned the chair so I couldn't look in the mirror.
Clever.
"So you must have been here a long time if you had seen Alec when he was human…" I said, trying to make small talk. I wasn't good at silence, I also wasn't good at sitting for a long period of time, so this was a way to distract me until we were through, which I was hoping was soon.
"Yeah, that's an understatement. I cant imagine my life out of the Volturi, its home, I guess. I also can't imagine life without him." She sighed and began to work on my hair, brushing through the knots.
"Whose 'him'"? I asked.
"Hmm? Oh- Demitri."
I coughed uncontrollably.
Heidi was apparently full of suprises. Demitri? I mean, I don't discriminate or anything, but he seems so uptight. All work and no play, boring! I tried picturing him with her, as a lover. I couldn't, in fact, the thought made me nauseous. Not to say he wasn't good-looking, they were all very good looking. But Demitri set off a different vibe from the rest, he screamed dangerous and you knew you didn't want to get on his bad side. He was so different from Heidi, what did she see in him?
"Demitri?" I choked out.
She laughed, as if she knew full and well what I was thinking.
Heidi always knew.
"I know, but he isn't always such a stiff. In fact, he can be quite charming, once he pulls out that stick he has shoved up his ass. Plus, he amuses me." She said fondly, "I think we should pull your hair up, show off the back." She stated out of random, starting to lift my hair off my neck.
"I didn't know guards could have mates."
"We're not really what you could call mates, darling. Its more of…well we just have fun from time to time." She confessed, not sounding embarrassed at all. I shuddered at the thought. "But we can though, Chelsea is with Afton, and has been for several generations. So its not entirely impossible."
This stirred up a new question. I had no idea that Volturi could have mates, maybe my head was thinking that they lived like the ice age or something but how did this work?
Were their emotional feelings in their relationships or was it like they were just paired up? Even then, I still for the life of me couldn't contain my curiosity about a certain guard member, it was a dumb question, I'd admit, especially since he showed no signs of having one, but one must know who exactly it is their kissing lately.
"Does- does Alec have a mate?"
"Well if he did, I suspect she'd be pulling your hair out with vengeance." She said with humor in her voice, starting to put rollers in my hair. "But no, he doesn't. Flings? Yes. Mates? Eh not so much." She declared, and I let out a sigh of relief, in my head at least. Didn't want to give too much away.
It seemed like it was going to take forever for her to get me ready, there was a curling iron and so many hairpins, and all the while I had no idea what she was doing to me. Though, just when I thought it was never going to end, she turned to face me to look at me.
She smiled with accomplishment gleaming in her eyes, like I was her work of art, her masterpiece.
"Perfect…your stunning. Not that you weren't before, its just-" She paused, looking like she was thinking of the right words. "-well, you'll see soon enough." She winked, and told me to go put my dress on before looking at myself in the mirror, much to my dismay. She was going to keep me in suspense as long as she possibly could, I gathered. But I'd go along.
"I'll wait in the hallway, meet me out there after so I can see!" She said excitedly, smirking as she stepped out of the room.
I sighed and tried to figure out how I was going to get that thing on. It was beautiful, that was a given, but it seemed too extravagant for me, like I wouldn't be able to do it justice.
Though it didn't look like I had much of a choice. I stepped into the dress, feeling the satiny fabric gliding up my skin as I pulled it. I managed to get it on, and then quickly went to the huge mirror in my bathroom to see what I looked like.
My eyes widened as I saw my refection.
I was a woman, or at least she was. My hair was pulled up, and little ringlets were popping out here and there. My face, well it wasn't doused in makeup like I thought it would be, I figured Heidi had put a lot on but she hadn't. Just enough to where it brought out my eyes, and my lips.
The dress, I had worried about how it would look on me, but much to my surprise I loved it. It fitted me perfectly, hugging me in the right places. I had to give props to Felix for this, he was good. Evil, but a genius nonetheless.
I could tell what Heidi meant when she said I would see for myself. I looked like me, but different. Older. For once in my life I thought I looked different, like I was a completely different person now. I always knew I was different from other people, but now, with me in the dress and everything, I supposed I felt like some sort of Cinderella. Only Cinderella got her prince in the end, I didn't have much hope of me getting mine.
I suppose now was a better time then never, I had no choice but to go to this party, that I didn't even want in the first place, and be the center of attention. This was all bad enough, but on top of that I was wearing this dress which revealed all too much.
I started to blush even at the thought of Alec seeing me in this.
I gave out a groan, looked in the mirror one more time, and left my room.
Heidi was waiting, just like she had said she would. She glowed with accomplishment.
"Perfection. You will take away his breath when he sees you." She said with a knowing smirk to her face.
"He?" I asked, playing dumb.
"Rennie, do not mistake me for a fool. You may not want to admit to anything…but I know something is there. Believe me, I know." She grinned evilly, and told me she had to get herself ready as well, and with that she left me.
I figured it wouldn't take all that long for her to get ready, because she looked like she was already headed to a ball.
I decided that I liked Heidi, and even though I wouldn't say it, I really did need some girl on girl time. I knew Jane wasn't going to oblige in any sense. It also looked like I had yet another new nickname. Nessie, Nez, and now Rennie. Out of the three, I'll be honest and say Nez was my absolute favorite.
I started heading to the throne room, because that was the only place I figured they would hold a party in. It was big and spacious so it would work.
I was at the entrance to the throne room, but before I went in I wanted to find Alec. I didn't know if he was suppose to escort me in or if he had decided he didn't want to me my date at all. He never said.
I looked around me, I figured he had to be near. He always showed up when I least expected him to, or when I didn't want him to show at all. But since I was actually wanting him to, he probably would take his sweet time about it.
I finally gave up at started to walk through the door, but then just like that he was there, blocking my way in.
He simply smiled/smirked at me, as he always did. And like always, I tried to hide a blush unsuccessfully.
"I didn't think you were going to show." I said, smiling softly.
"I told you I'd see you here. You didn't believe me?" He asked, raising his eyebrows, amused.
Well he didn't exactly give me a lot of reason to be assured. He just kept teasing me. Although I did remember him saying he would see me here and kiss my forehead, the sweet kiss.
"Not really." I replied, being brutally honest.
He chuckled softly, then seemed to notice my dress for the first time, the moment I dreaded.
He looked from my face down, drinking it all in slowly. My heart did flip-flops as he did so. Even though I felt pretty in the dress, didn't mean I wasn't insecure around him.
When he was done studying the front, he twirled his index finger in a circular motion, instructing me to turn around so see could see the back.
The back, the worst part because all you saw was back.
I sighed, and stepped around so he could see, then after a moment I turned back to see his reaction. He was giving me a disapproving look, like he thought it was my fault.
"You're trying to drive me mad, aren't you?" He joked, shaking his head.
"It was Felix, I had nothing to do with it."
"I'll have to thank him later when I get the chance."
"You just said I was trying to drive you mad!"
"Well I didn't say I didn't like it. You are…exquisite." He said, clearly not joking now. Which made my whole face heat up, of course. That had to be one of the best compliments anyone had ever gave me, only because it came from him. Coming from anyone else, it wouldn't mean the same.
"Well, I think Aro is wanting to get this started, you ready?" He asked.
"If I said yes I'd be lying, if I say no it wont make any difference so…lets get this over with." I sighed.
He gave me a smile of encouragement, and opened the door for me. I took a deep breath and stepped in.
The throne room was pretty much the same, only there were a lot of people. Or Volturi guard members, I should say. The room itself was basically lit only by candles, so it was darker than it usually was. They were also dressed the same for the most part, the guys always wore black suits, and the woman, well they kind of had their own sense of style. I was beginning to think that I wore the wrong kind of dress for this party.
Also there was music playing, classical of course. Not that I minded, I loved classical music; something I inherited from Dad.
Dad. My family. This is my last birthday where I actually grow. It made me depressed to think of them all at home on my birthday without me. I should be there, with them. The best I could do is to give them a call later, even that sounded pathetic. I wouldn't doubt by the time I got back home they hated me.
My attention was brought back to the party when Aro got up out of his throne. Caius and Marcus remained in their own, looking extremely unhappy and bored, Caius especially.
The moment Aro spoke, the whole room quieted down.
"I have arranged this little gathering in honor of Renesmee Cullen's last birthday in which she'll stop aging as a human would, although she never really did. I remember her, as a young child and thinking that she'll grow to be an amazing being, what with her unique ability and all. And here she stands with us tonight, a lovely young woman in the prime of her existence. It is a great pleasure to have her here, so to show it we'll celebrate." Aro spoke with warmth in his voice and in his eyes, I couldn't help but feel he was being honest.
He smiled at me, and nodded to the orchestra, to begin playing some unfamiliar tune.
They actually have a orchestra!?
They began to play a cheerful yet soft melody, that's when Alec took my hand softly and lead me to the center of the room, obviously to dance.
It was very embarrassing, with Felix grinning broadly at me and giving a thumbs up, and with Jane giving me the death glares of all death glares, Heidi smiling a small, knowing smile, and the rest of the guards watching.
I took a deep breath as Alec placed his hand on my low back, his cold hand making direct contact with my bare skin that usually wasn't touched, my heart skipped a beat. He then took my hand; I reached my other hand to his shoulder, and started to remember the last time we danced; what a horrible experience that was.
"Breath, Nez. It'll be over soon enough." Alec whispered, I nodded and we began to dance, the sound of his nickname for me made me feel secure.
It was a nice feeling, dancing with him without fighting and him insulting me, it gave me a whole new perspective on the subject. Our bodies seemed to work together well, which didn't really shock me all that much. I would be a moron if I said we didn't have some kind of connection in several ways, a connection I didn't understand.
We never unlocked our eyes away from each other. In my mind, I was pretending it was just the two of us, dancing alone. No red eyes watching our every move. It was a good method, until other people starting joining in on the dancing; it relieved me a lot to know we weren't the only ones.
I then figured I should try to make small talk.
"So um, who's Heidi?" I asked, knowing I sounded like an idiot the second the words left my lips.
Alec looked confused.
"Heidi, the woman who bait's the humans?"
"No, I mean Heidi, the girl who has curls and has a mean grandfather, that…that Heidi." I explained, while Alec stared at me like I should be admitted into a hospital. Then after a few seconds he rolled his eyes in realization.
"She's still going on about that? Honestly, it was only a joke someone had said to her about four decades ago," He smirked, "Heidi is this ridicules story, portrayed by Shirley Temple in one of the many versions of the film." He made it sound stupid, it probably was. I don't think I could sit through a movie titled Heidi, especially if it has Shirley Temple in it.
"I can't stand Shirley Temple." I muttered, speaking my thoughts out loud, as I looked down at my feet, I didn't even realize that Alec had heard me until I looked up and saw a smirk on his beautiful face.
"Me anche…" he replied, it sounded Italian. He spoke it as if I would understand, it probably meant something along the lines of 'I agree'. Or something like that. I noticed that Alec spoke Italian a lot when he doesn't pay attention, I also realized, that I loved it. The way the words flowed through his mouth. It sent chills, and made me want to kiss him, but then I remembered we were far from being alone, so I didn't. instead, I just went on babbling about Shirley Temple for some reason.
"Did you know her hair wasn't even naturally curly? They had to curl her hair, fifty-six ringlets-"
"Nez, are we really going to discuss a 1930's child star all evening?" He asked jokingly, spinning me and then pulling me back to him closely.
Upon him slamming my body to his, I smelled that amazing scent again. Him. I inhaled, trying to be discrete, but he seemed to always catch me in the act. I could tell because he was smiling a coy smile.
"So, be honest, how are you enjoying yourself?" Now he seemed genuinely curious, his scarlet eyes looking serious. His eyes, they were so hypnotizing,. I was once again trying to imagine them a light, clear blue. It must have been a beautiful color, not that the red didn't suit him, it did. I always figured vampires with red eyes would be creepy, and it was on most of them. Alec's eyes didn't bother me though, they captured me, entranced me, so much I couldn't speak in that moment.
Get a hold of yourself, Nez.
"I'm fine, really." I half smiled, trying to assure him. He wasn't, however, convinced as such.
He leaned over and put his mouth by my ear, my eyes widened, surprised he would be doing that in front of all of the people, though I didn't mind at all. He was closer, and my body seemed to enjoy it.
"Don't lie to me, Nez. Your terrible at it. I'll be right back." He said in a low voice, and then left. Just like that, he left. He looked over his shoulder as he walked, smiling. He loved to keep me in the dark, didn't he? It was like his own little game.
I then started to follow him, I wasn't going to stand in the middle of the dance floor alone. But Aro stopped me in my path, still grinning that gracious grin. It was kind of scary in a way.
"Now its time for your gift." He stated.
A gift?
"Aro, you really didn't have to do that." I tried to reason, shaking me head.
"Please, you really didn't think we wouldn't give you anything?" He then beckoned someone from behind me to come forward. I didn't have time to look behind me before I saw hands reach out in front of me to put on a necklace.
I knew it was Alec, just because I could recognize the scent and the chills that waved through my body at his touch, his cold breath hitting the back of my neck. I didn't even care what the necklace looked like at that moment, I just wanted to savor him.
Once he clipped the necklace on, he let his fingers trail along the long remaining chain that hung down my neck and back. I tried my best not to look like I was extremely nervous and excited, not in front of Aro and everyone else at least.
I turned around to thank him, but he was already gone again, in a flash.
"Where did he go?"
"Oh, he's probably just checking on something." Aro replied, sounding oddly pleased.
"Is he coming back?"
"Of course. Now- how do you like it?" He pressed for answers, clearing awaiting my opinion.
I for the first time looked down at the necklace.
It was a pearl, a blue pearl connected to little white gold strands, that spiraled around it. It was simple, yet very beautiful, it was me, oddly enough, or at least me wearing this dress at least.
"Thank you." I said, really meaning it.
"You're welcome, young one. I myself was aiming for something more extravagant, but Alec insisted on something casual, in fact he picked it out himself." He added, sounding pleased that I liked the present.
I looked up to Aro.
"Alec picked it out?"
He nodded pleasantly, told me something about enjoying the rest of my evening and started to talk to someone else.
I was still dumbfounded by the fact Alec had picked this out. It was perfect, it was something I would see while I was shopping and insist on buying. How did he know? Once again, I was stuck in his mysterious ways. I was yet again really confused and bewildered, because he once again seemed to see me. He knew me. How I didn't know, because we really hadn't spent all that much time together, but he knew me. He knew what I liked, sad thing is, he didn't know that I liked him, and if he did, he wasn't showing signs of encouragement. The thought hurt.
My train of thought was disturbed though, thankfully. When Felix stepped up to me, giving me a light punch in the arm.
"I insist upon having a dance."
I started to laugh at Felix's mocking tone, sounding like a old English butler as he bowed. taking my hand in his, Felix spun me in large twirls that seemed like they took up the entire room. He seemed to make the evening quite bearable. now that Alec had disappeared into the night.
After a few moments of spinning, Felix pulled me close, and smiled like a five year old.
"Madam, You are quite the dancer, how is thee operation; prince charming going? I'm surprised he hasn't jumped you yet."
I smacked him in the arm as he chuckled, making me blush. I couldn't believe Felix would be so open about my and Alec's encounters, given that his masters were right there. What makes it worst is that I didn't have a clue as to where Alec could be, with my luck he was within hearing range, and if he heard all of this it would make things more complicated, cause I still wasn't sure if I wanted to talk to Alec about my emotions, since his own emotions seem to be everywhere.
"Felix I'm not--"
"The hell you're not. You better not be telling me that I wasted my time picking out that dress man, I mean, you have to tell him something! If anything get a kiss out of the deal."
I shook my head, trying to figure out what to do. A part of me agreed with my friend, but the side with brains was telling me to go with my instinct and bail. Alec was not ready for my attachment. He was stuck, I knew that much. He was stuck knowing how he felt about me and his family. I knew this because if he wasn't stuck he would of stayed with me after we kissed, he wouldn't of gone after Jane, so I shouldn't say anything. Not until he's sure where this thing between us would lead.
As Felix and I danced I looked over his broad shoulder to see Alec's slender frame, resting against the double wide doors. It was like he was calling me over with his eyes, I looked back to Felix, without a word he nodded and winked.
He gave me one more spin then pushed me in the direction Alec was in.
"Tell him." Felix muttered as I started to slowly walk towards him, with each step I got more nervous, a gross feeling growing in my stomach, and a lump rising in my throat. I was going to tell him how I felt, how every time he's around me my heart flutters and my skin flushes, and when he kisses me, I feel like there's a volcano somewhere rupturing, and fireworks were going off. How was I suppose to tell him that? Am I suppose to go up to him and just blurt it all out? How was he going to react? Would he feel the same? I knew I was going to tell him when I knew he was ready to hear it, but Felix wouldn't let me live to see tomorrow if I didn't.
And the closer I got to him, the more I wanted to.
As we got to the lobby, he shut the doors to the throne room, leaving us alone in the dark room. I could see a shadow of his face, his eyes looking as though they could glow.
"Something tells me you have to inform me on something." He started, his voice very calm and still, the pressure on my face was building. There was no turning back now. I know now that he heard every word Felix had said to me, I had a feeling Alec would have. As I said, it was just my luck.
So I felt no need to discuss them with him.
"Well, you clearly already see the outline of where this was going so…I'm gonna' go bury myself in the covers." I said, starting to pull away, when suddenly he gripped onto my wrist, pulling me back.
He pushed me gently into a corner, his hands cupping my face, lips inches from mine, the space around us closing in.
It felt like he was going to kiss me, he was close enough to do it. But he instead leaned in next to my ear, his cheek brushing against mine as his fingers trailed down my back.
"Tell me anyway." He demanded, not leaving me any other option.
I gulped, trying to remember to breath.
"I don't know how to put it into words that'll make sense." My voice was shaky and unfamiliar. I ran my hands up over his arms, grabbing on for support. "I…I…you're not going to make this easy are you?"
"Never do."
I coughed a nervous laugh, and exhaled deeply.
"From the moment I arrived here, I've felt things for you that I probably shouldn't. I…can't explain it, but its always there. Like now, the way you're holding me, it feels like nothing can go wrong." I breathed out, relieved to have it off my chest. I was now, scared crap-less of what was going to happen now.
Alec sighed, pondering what to say.
"But things can go wrong in an instant, Renesmee. Its only one touch away from becoming a disaster, that's what I've been trying to tell-"
"Are you telling me that I'm in this alone? That you don't care for me?" I demanded, he turned his face away from mine, but I grabbed his face with my hand and forced him to face his fear. It was time he finally did so. If I had the balls to do it, then so could he. Considering I didn't even have balls, so that's saying something.
"Look at me, Alec. Don't tell me that you've kissed me for absolute no reason, that you haven't just been teasing me. Give me something to go off of, tell me that I have hope, that this isn't just some stupid fairytale of a dream we're living in. I don't need your emotional damaged excuses this time, because one minute your kissing me and looking at me the way you do, and the next your pulling away. I'm tired of it." My voice was stern, even a bit harsh. But I had the right, and he needed a good slap of reality.
Alec looked at me through his long lashes, taking everything I had to say to him without interrupting, like he knew what I was going to say before I said it. He was a statue, cold and unmoving. I thought my speech would have some kind of effect but I guess was wrong. It was true, I was so tired and sick of it.
"Ugh…forget I said anything." I snapped, disgusted. I picked up the train of my gown and stomped away, about to head back to my room.
"You make me feel human." I heard him say suddenly in a soft, vulnerable voice.
I stopped in my tracks, and slowly turned around. He was still facing the wall where I was before.
"What?" I asked, not sure I heard him correctly.
He turned around to face me, his eyes looked dark and filled with sorrow.
"Everyday since you've been here, I've had to constantly remind myself of my purpose here, and who I am. But every time I'm around you, since that day I first found you in the alley, all rational thought and reason have been thrown out the window, all because of you. You with your shopping trips, and your outrageous clothes, your piano playing, everything that makes you, you. You make my heart feel as though its beating rapidly in my chest, and apart of me doesn't want it to stop. A big part, and the other part knows better. Because those emotions can only end bad for us." He said, stepping towards me slowly as he did. He rested his forehead against mine, sighing again.
I'd never felt so taken back, I didn't think I could cause someone to feel like that. I know how I felt for him, but I didn't know he felt that strong, it was overwhelming. I was actually on the verge of tears. In all my life a boy had never said things like that to me, not even Jake, especially not Jake. I then began to wonder if this was what it felt like for my Mom, when she was human, with my Dad. She wasn't kidding about the way it made you feel. The way Alec spoke made it sound as if he was in love with me, and that made every nerve in my body awake. My chest yearned for him, I didn't know what to say.
"I…I didn't realize." I muttered.
Ingenious, Renesmee. Really.
"If uh, you could say something, it would really help this awkward silence-- wait, did you say this could only end badly for us?"
"I'm so sorry, Nez." He whispered.
"What? Why are you sorry?"
"I'm going to have to ask something of you, something your not going to like-"
"No…don't ask, whatever it is, the answer is no. Don't ruin this…" I was shaking my head, in denial. I cupped his face, to try to comfort him, but he grabbed my hands effortlessly and pulled them away.
"Forgetabout everything that's happened, its for the best-"
"For the best? You think denying the obvious is the way to go? I can't hold back my feelings the way you do, I can't stuff them away somewhere and forget! If this is about my dream, it wasn't real, it doesn't matter!" I cried, tears pouring down my cheeks now. It was like someone had ripped out my heart from my chest and stomped on it joyously. Breathing was nonexistent, and I was thankful I couldn't. I felt irrelevant, like he cared, but it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough to fight for. I was suddenly stuck in some dark place I didn't think I was going to be able to escape. He wanted me to forget, pretend it didn't happen, it was impossible. I wouldn't be able to just magically erase everything in my mind, and my body. Especially after hearing those beautiful words he just spoke to me.
My chest felt like it was being compressed, suffocated.
No one cared, he obviously didn't.
"Nez-"
"You just want me to go on everyday and act like none of this happened? Only it did? Is that what your asking me?"
"I know it will be hard, but you have to try.." He whispered, lifting up my chin so I had to look at him.
"So my feelings don't matter, right? It doesn't matter that its going to hurt me, all that matters is pleasing Aro, correct? I'm glad I know where your priorities lie with, Alec-"
"I want to be with you, I do! But its dangerous, you know this. Deep inside I know you know it to be true. This can't lead to anything. You'll go home, and I'll stay here, and eventually I'll be a faded memory, like the rest of them."
I shook my head to deny his reasoning, because I don't want to think about the future like that. I didn't want to go home with him as just a memory. I wanted him. I wanted to be with him and to see where this would lead. I knew it would take work. I'm not stupid, but I was willing to put the effort here, why couldn't he? Why did he have to do this to me? Why did I have to feel anything at all for him? Did he do this everyday? Is this why he has been so confused about his feelings for me? Because he was scared for my life?
The more I thought about it, the more I hated them. I hated all of them, Aro, Marcus, Caius, and most of all Jane. They had a hold on him, and for what? Because of his power? This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I felt for him because of who he was, and they got him, because of something that doesn't matter at all. Where is the justice in that?
My cries were now sobs, I didn't have the strength to stop them, and I didn't care. I wanted him to see what he was doing to me.
As Alec tried to calm me, all I could do was try to push him away, though it was pointless.
"I'm trying to help you Nez, don't you realize that if anything were to happen to you, I wouldn't be able to live with myself?!"
I closed my eyes at his words and took a step back as far as I could.
"Maybe I should just leave, go back home, make everything easier for you--"
"Don't. don't say that, okay? I don't want you to leave!"
"Then what Alec?! Huh? Stay here and be tortured, is that how you've been living here--"
"Yes! Because everyday, I see you, I know I can't have you, and if I can do it, so can you!"
"Damn you!" I snapped, as I started hitting his chest with my fists as hard as I could. My heart; cracking into a million pieces, and he just stood there, the punches not effecting him what so ever.
I thought he would say something about this being the right thing. How everything was for my own good, but he just stood there, allowing me to pour out my frustration and anger out on him. Like he understood everything I was feeling, and somehow was letting out his emotions as well.
After a few more punches, Alec gripped on to me, holding me as tight as he could, and all I wanted was to be left alone.
"No, don't do this Alec, just leave."
He started to shake his head as I gave him one last shove.
"GO! Let me start pretending, while the night is still young Alec! Leave me. Go to your precious corner by the only people you will ever care about!"
Alec stood there for a second, his eyes looking tired and hollowed. Probably wondering what to do next, only if he knew what's best for him and if he cared so much about me like he says, then he should leave.
Giving me a nod, Alec quickly turned and started walking the opposite direction. The more steps he took the colder and alone I left. I couldn't help but still want him. I was beginning to believe that it was something that wasn't going away, and I had nothing left of him. Not even a kiss.
"Alec!"
He stopped at the sound of his name, and turned slowly, his face remaining the same, as I ran towards him, throwing my arms around his neck and gave him one last kiss.
The kiss itself started up gentle, but increased rapidly. His lips tugged urgently as he wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me to him. I wanted to make this last. I wanted it to be something that I'd never forget, because for now on, I was going to do what he wants. Every time he will come near me, I will turn the other cheek, and think about this moment, and I wanted it to be worth thinking about.
As our bodies pulled away from each other, I couldn't help but hold on to him. It was like a habit that I was going to have to learn to break.
"A kiss to end all kisses." I whispered, as Alec brushed his lips against my forehead. My heart sinking into the pit of my stomach as I stared into those eyes of his.
"Happy Birthday, Renesmee."
I blinked and with a gust of wind, he was gone, leaving me in the darkness that was soon going to surround me.
I thought this was going to be the year I was never going to forget. Only to have the shadows as friends.
I tried not to think about anything as I found myself walking to the familiar phone booth. The memories blurring into my mind. Looking into the stars, I tried to remember that the only reason why I was here was to find myself. That what happened with Alec was no big deal, only to have myself disappointed.
Picking up the phone, I dialed the number to my house, and fell to the ground unable to control anything anymore.
"Mama…"
Writer's Note: FINALLY! we have this beast done! OMG this chapter was so draining! lol. but worth it we think. yes, we know it's a little sadish...and longish, but hey. it's a chapter right? Thank you everyone whose Reviewed this story. and everyone who faves it, you guys are the reason we love writing. Thank you so much. once again, check out the goodies on our profile, and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE check out our blog. we're thinking of posting some sneak peeks of future chapters, and some other stuff that allows you to know a little bit about us. [not that you care---WE DON'T BLAME YOU ;) ]
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~IITM
PS- WE HOPE EVERYONE HAD A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR. OR WHATEVER YOU CELERBRATE. ;D MAWH! ...[damn this note is getting long O_o]