Never Have I Ever
Disclaimer: So I don't own anything.
Chapter 11: Had a… Munch's POV
God. Elliot made me ashamed to be a male some times. He seemed to enjoy coming up with TERRIBLY boring things he had never done. Well, perhaps he'd actually done everything worth doing.
No, no he hasn't. Otherwise he would have won the game already.
How depressing.
"Elliot." I sighed loudly, pressing two fingers to my temple. "Why do you give the worst suggestions?"
"Hey my last suggestion wasn't bad!" He exclaimed, tossing his hands in the air. "This one wasn't really either, I mean, I haven't eaten venison, but Liv has! I'm playing the game to win here, man."
I raised an eyebrow at Olivia. She was just… so full of surprises. I liked this game more and more every minute.
Although venison is particularly disgusting, so I didn't really find that an attractive… um, what would the word be? Experience?
"Oh?" I went on, looking at the only pretty detective in my squad. "You've tasted delicious Bambie hide, Olivia?"
"I have." She sighed, putting down another finger. Jesus, she was down to four! Not that I was doing much better. I held up one hand to show that I was down to five.
"It's disgusting, isn't it?"
"Huh." She chuckled humorlessly, "Glad you agree."
"We seem to see eye to eye pretty often."
"Which is pretty concerning, Liv." Elliot grinned. "Maybe you should look into the republican party."
I rolled my eyes, "Wow, that's more disgusting than the venison."
"You know, you all are crazy," Alex said, flipping her hair back. "I think it tastes just fine."
I thought Olivia's eyebrows were going to shoot off of her face as she turned to look at our creepy little friend.
"Excuse me?"
Alex smiled a sheepish and almost adorable smile before shrugging slightly. "I have… interesting tastes..."
"Boy have we learned." Casey muttered. Alex gave her a quick glare, and while the intention was there it was definitely lacking the irritation that had been present earlier in the day. Maybe being pissed off and uptight was exhausting her.
It was always exhausting to me.
By that I mean whenever I was pissed and uptight I was stressed, but I guess her being uptight and pissed also made me stressed.
But at the same time it amused the hell out of me, and I was kind of missing it now that she was being everybody's best buddy.
"Does that mean Olivia is in the lead now?" Casey continued, clearly growing bored, or weary of the dark elevator. I will admit, if anyone wasn't tired of the elevator by that point, they were sick. Very sick.
I'm pretty sure Olivia and Elliot were enjoying themselves though. I can't be sure, but they seemed to be pretty cozy what with all the lights being off and Alex not cramping their style anymore.
"Am I?" She asked, sitting up a little bit straighter and looking down at her four fingers. "Well, how many do you have left, Case?"
"Five. I've never eaten deer meat, thank you very much."
"I have six." Elliot grinned up at his partner. "I haven't either."
"Good to know my partner is a sissy." She laughed, nudging him in the shoulder lightly and very nearly drooling all over him.
All right, I exaggerate, but they were… really, really, oh what's a good word to describe them? Let's just say they were very unknowingly into each other, and it was making the rest of us sick. And if not he two ADAs, it was definitely grossing me out.
"A sissy? I just never had the urge to try venison. I've never been offered, so how am I a sissy?"
She grinned and slid back down closer to him, a flirty look on her face, "So if I offered you some venison… you'd eat it?"
"I would definitely eat it."
Wow. This was really just getting out of hand.
"Right!" Alex exclaimed. Ah, clearly I wasn't the only one uncomfortable with the situation. "I have five left, how about you Munch?"
"I also have five, Miss Cabot. It seems that Olivia is winning."
"Or losing." Casey cut in.
"You called it winning when you were tied with her."
"Yeah, well, I'm just saying it could be either, Munch, ok?"
"You guys are all nut bags," Elliot sighed, looking at his phone, either to check the time or to light up the dark room. "It's just a game."
"Hey, you're the one playing to win!"
He rolled his eyes, "I was just saying that, Casey, Jesus."
"It doesn't really matter anyway," Alex yawned, "the whole point is that we find out what sick fucks our friends are, and if we haven't accomplished that by now then we should seriously just quit because we aren't going to get much more disgusting than we already have."
"It could have been worse." I shrugged. "We could have played truth or dare."
"Or spin the bottle." Casey said sarcastically. "Because we're all fifteen and never been kissed."
"I'm sure you were kissed long before fifteen." Olivia laughed.
"For your information, Liv, I was not kissed until I was nineteen."
"No way!" Alex exclaimed. "You're a liar!"
Casey grinned sheepishly and laughed, "Ah, fuck you guys, my first kiss was when I was twelve."
Alex and Olivia rolled their eyes while Casey giggled, and Elliot turned to me, "Isn't it your turn, Munch?"
"It is, my fine fellow officer." I nodded, clearing my throat slightly and pondering what I could say. We'd pretty much covered everything I hadn't done, at least things that I could think of. I had never done cocaine or murdered anyone or anything, but I seriously doubted my companions had either, so it would have been pointless to say.
"Ok, I've got one. Never have I ever had, or induced, a pregnancy scare."
"Wait, what?" Olivia asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Basically none of the women I've been with have ever had a pregnancy scare."
"And it definitely would have been a scare, not a blessed event." Alex smiled at me and I shot her a glare.
"Funny, Cabot. Anyway, so… put your fingers down if you ever thought you or your partner was pregnant."
"Can't you just say wife?" Elliot asked, rolling his eyes and putting a finger down.
Man, someone was a little bit sensitive.
A/N: So this silliness is almost done! A few more chapters and all will be well. ^.^ Let me know what you think!