Chapter 11

Grunkle Stan had originally intended to only watch how well Dipper mowed the lawn ("No lip service kid, a Customer slipping on the steps could cost me a lawsuit!"), but now as he gazed from inside the Shack, his experienced eyes saw more than just Candy helping Dipper start the mower. Anyone could see there were fireworks going on, biology in action dripping with hormones, and he begin to wonder if maybe the incestuous affair might take care of itself. He hoped so then he wouldn't have to do anything. The talk with Dipper alone was already uncomfortable enough, and he still had to figure out how to talk to Mabel. If Candy stole Dipper away from his sister, he would only have to provide sympathy and "ya win some ya lose some kiddo" advice to his niece. He hated the idea of her being sad or worse, crying, but he also wanted the best future for her, and a future with her brother….well, that just couldn't go anywhere but tears. Better to have something break it off early while she was still young and then she could find a real boyfriend of no relation.

What's this? Candy was coming back, with Mabel in tow, the two holding hands. Oh my gaw, now what? Is she…lesbian? He had to watch to see what happened next. Maybe it was just girls being girls, he had seen them hug and hold hands before…before he found out about the twins love affair. But now he was ready for almost anything.

Dipper stopped mowing the lawn, the engine sputtering to a stop as he released the safety switch in the handle, and he walked up to the girls. Now Stan might be able to hear the conversation. He kept back behind the window, but close enough to listen.

"Mabel, where were you?"

"I waaaaas …out looking for Candy." She knew where this was going, her paranoid brother's voice would start climbing an octave if she didn't stop this quickly. "Besides, I don't have to tell you every little thing I do, don't start making lists of things for me to do, Mr. Organization. I am going to show Candy my new sweaters now, is that ok with you?" and pulling Candy by the hand she marched to the steps.

Candy looked back at Dipper and gave an apologetic shrug, but said nothing. Mabel's comment worked and stopped the inquisition, but when Dipper looked hurt Candy flashed him a quick smile, then turned around before Mabel could see anything that might make her jealous again. But she felt bad that Dipper felt bad.

As Stan backed away from the window and hurried back behind the cash register, he thought this was turning out even better. Not only was Dipper being distracted by Candy, Mabel seemed to be cooling off too, maybe Candy could catch Dipper "on the rebound"!

"Hello Mr. Pines."

"Hey kids, how are ya? New merchandise: pterodactyl claws and Indian princess dolls. Ten percent off for you Candy since you're a friend of the family." Then he thought about the possibilities. "Oh heck, for you, one item, no charge. But don't tell anyone!"

Mabel turned around as she heard Grunkle Stan say the unthinkable.

"FREE? Did Cipher get in your head again? Are you OK Grunkle Stan?"

"Sure kid, It's just that Candy is, ya know, part of the family." NOT he thought.
Mabel squinted her eyes and stared at him. What is happening to all of my men? Does Candy have an effect on every guy? She let go of Candy's hand. "Come on Candy, let's go upstairs."

"I am right behind you Mabel." She turned around. "Thank you Mr. Pines for the generous discount!"

"Sure kid, and really, DON'T MENTION IT!"

Stan smiled as the girls went up the stairs to Mabel's bedroom and then looked around, and walked to the window to gauge Dipper's current state. But the boy was nowhere to be seen outside. He turned around and bumped right into Dipper.

"Ye-owza! Whoa kid, don't do that!" He clutched his heart with his hand leaning back on a display cabinet.

"Sorry Grunkle. Geez, I am usually the one who is jumpy. What's got you spooked?"

"Nothing kid, just that someone sneaking up on me reminds me of when I got mugged years ago. Don't do that again." And he stood straight again, pulled on his jacket lapels to straighten up and walked slowly back to the cash register.

Dipper shook his head and then walked back to the bathroom. If Candy has come back for what seems a while, I should clean up. Just so I don't embarrass Mabel or something.

…

Mabel closed the door after Candy came in, turned on her mp3 boom box, and then went to a large cardboard shipping box, opened up the flaps and pulled out a thin teal sweater with snowflakes and a scoop top.

"Here Candy, this is more your style, not mine." And she held it up to Candy's front.

"Ooooh, I like it very much. Thank you Mabel." Mabel handed it to her. She began rummaging through the box.

"You know Candy, maybe you can help me understand Dipper. I mean, not used to having a boyfriend I can't tell what he is thinking like I used to, I mean before I knew what he was thinking even before he said it, but now, well…I think my sister radar is broken or something. Like before I would have said he…he seems…interested…in you. But is it just jealousy or…"and she listened for a reply as she sorted the sweaters, not wanting to look at Candy directly but trying to keep it casual.

"I think you know him better Mabel, but one thing I can tell you is he is new to this too. He is not sure about girlfriend boyfriend feeling either and is trying to figure it out, so his confusion signals is what confuses your radar. I think."

Mabel, crouching on her knees sat back and looked at Candy for a second and then looked down at the floor. "That makes sense. Thank you for helping me figure this out." She held up two more sweaters, one in each hand.

Left hand up. "Penguins and.." right hand up. "…polar bears. Oh grandma. Maybe a few years ago but I am a young woman now." Dropping the sweaters Mabel stood up and struck a pose, face to the side towards Candy, batting her eyelashes right foot back, right hand behind her head, left hand on her waist.

Candy giggled. "No wonder Dipper fell in love with you! Haha!"

Mabel laughed too and then sat on the bed. "But…is he still in love with me?" and her pout was real.

Candy got up from the floor and sat next to her friend, and held her hands. "Remember my friend, he cannot allow the romantic feelings to show in public. He is in difficult circumstances. Don't decide how he feels then, decide by the way he treats you when you are alone.

Mabel looked up at her confidant. Candy's eyes were sincere, and even pretty, and her complexion perfect. No fair. Not even one zit! No wonder Dipper watches her sometimes. Boys will be boys after all. As long as his heart is mine.

"Then maybe it is time I stopped avoiding him so much and give him more chances to be real with me."

"I think that is good, and will make both of you feel better."

Mabel was now convinced her friend had no agenda and was a real friend. Just as they were hugging, someone knocked at the door.

"Who may I ask is calling on Lady Mabelton?"

"It is I, Sir Dipping Sauce of the Falls of Gravity and his Lordship Pines!"

"Dipper!" And Mabel jumped up to answer the door. If Dipper was coming upstairs to her bedroom it meant Grunkle Stan was gone.

She opened the door and her heart sank again: He was wearing a polo shirt. And his hair was combed. He looked gorgeous. But her instinct told her it wasn't to impress her.

He leaned in to kiss her but she stepped back. As he lurched forward and then caught himself, he saw Candy sitting on the bed.

"Oh. Hi Candy." He waved and turned to Mabel. " Sorry to interrupt Mabes, I thought she left."

"Not yet Dipper, she is showing off new sweaters and giving me some." And she stood up and modeled the teal sweater by holding it up to her front and swiveling from side to side. Dipper looked and nodded. Mabel 's heart was on the roller coaster, happy then sad and now jealous again. Is this just polite conversation or is something happening here?

Then she got a whiff of cologne from Dipper. That's it! Something is definitely going on here!

"Will you excuse us Candy? I want a private moment with my boyfriend." And she shoved him out the door and closed it behind her without waiting for a reply.

At the top of the stairs Mabel hissed through clenched teeth.

"Why are you trying to impress Candy?"

Dippers eyes went wide and his voice climbed an octave.

"Impress Candy? No! I am trying to impress you Mabes!" he tried to smile but it came out like the lie it was. "Why would I want anything to do with Candy? You got this all wrong babe!"

"Don't babe me! You never wear cologne around me! And you hate polo shirts! "

Dipper took a deep breath.

"Mabel, I have never been happier in all my life. You are the only love in my life. I cried some nights when we were apart! I Love you!"

Both of their hearts were beating fast, and breathing quick and shallow. Mabel wanted to believe him, even if it weren't true, but she also didn't want to be blindsided if she were losing him. She softened her face and almost whispered.

"Dipper, I love you too." And she stepped forward and hugged him. "I love you so much that I don't want to lose you. You have made me happy too, and I don't want to lose that, lose us. If anything is going on, I want to know about it."

Dipper began to relax. He really did love her, but knowing that twin radar could detect a lie he spoke in a whisper too.

"Mabel, Candy is a cute girl, that is no lie, but she doesn't know all of my secrets, she hasn't seen me fail and still love me, she hasn't seen me at my worst and still forgive me, she isn't you. No one knows me as deeply as you do, I could never replace you, not in a thousand years."

She melted in his arms. This was what she wanted to hear. This was the reassurance she needed.

Even if it was a lie.

…

Candy could hear broken conversation and whispers outside the door but couldn't make out what was being said, but it didn't sound like kissing and what other boyfriend girlfriend noises should be. And the way Mabel had said my boyfriend didn't sound encouraging either. Maybe she was next to get talking to. Maybe she should leave.

But Dipper looked so handsome, and he even smelled nice. Did he do that for me? I don't see him looking like that with Mabel. Does he like me?

And her heart skipped a beat. She smiled.