Hey guys! Unfortunately, this chapter was delayed due to a serious injury. I was sparring after class and finally managed to get into top position. Decided to go for something called an ezekiel choke. My opponent trapped one of my arms and one of my legs and started to roll (it's a common escape, something we've both done hundreds of times). Well this time, for whatever reason, my left hand got twisted as he trapped it so that when he rolled, it snapped my forearm in two. We both heard a pop and a crunch, and when we separated, my hand just sort of flopped back so that my fingers were laying against the top of my arm. My sensei drove me to the hospital right away, and I passed out as soon as we got inside. The rest is kind of a blur. They had to perform emergency surgery and now I have a titanium plate and seven screws drilled into my arm. It will be four months until I can use it again, so no more sparring for now. Also, I'm left-handed, so I have to learn how to eat and write with my non-dominant hand in the meantime. I still plan on doing solo drills in jiu-jitsu until I'm fully recovered, but I won't be going twice a day like before. On the bright side, this will give me more time for my other passion, writing! My goal is to post 1-2 chapters a week from now on so that I don't have time to mope lol. Those of you who are still reading-thanks for sticking with me! It means the world.
Carmen tugged at the collar of her uniform, finding it difficult to focus on the screen of her console. Numbers and percentages scrolled by, laying out a precise list of the ship's weapons and defense systems. Their shields were back online, but at only forty-six percent, they would be virtually useless in another encounter with the Borg. Even at a hundred percent, Carmen didn't want to think of their odds.
All night long, she saw pieces of the Enterprise drifting through her sleep. She heard her scream that filled the harrowing silence of those final moments. Sometimes, that scream transcended her nightmares and filled Sheppard's quarters, too. But time and again, she felt his hand wrap around hers as she teetered on the edge of sleep. One, two, three squeezes. I'm here. And she'd wake up to find hope still within reach.
Laforge's plan brought that hope a little bit closer to her fingertips. But the deflector dish was still hours away from being ready, and so anxiously, she watched every minute of her shift crawl by. Just a little longer...just a little longer...
Someone's station trilled loudly. Tension vibrated in the air, and she could almost hear the unspoken question crouching behind every tongue. Is this it?
One of the science officers, Ensign Bryant, flashed a sheepish smile over his shoulder. "Just finishing a diagnostic," he explained. As the cloud of alarm dissipated from all around her, Carmen rubbed her temples. It felt like the edges of her Betazoid senses were beginning to fray.
Everyone's attention returned to their own stations. Everyone, that is, except for the commander. He caught Carmen's eye just long enough to give her a subtle nod, then eased back into his seat beside the captain. Something sturdy, something steadfast, drifted towards the young woman's mind and she grasped hold of it gratefully. He hadn't meant to send it; not telepathically at least. But she remembered how, as a young girl, his strength had always kept her afloat in uncertain waters. After every attack, when panic and fear still resonated across the ship in great waves, she'd shadow his every move throughout their small quarters. She'd even fall asleep at the foot of his desk as he worked late into the night, wrapping her mind around his presence so that the nightmares couldn't pull her away.
Thanks. I needed that, she tried to tell him, even though he could never hear her the way her mother could. To Carmen's surprise, his head tilted ever so slightly to the side, and she could have sworn that a hint of a smile wrinkled the corner of his lips. Then Picard leaned over to begin some sort of hushed conversation with his first officer. Carmen watched them furtively, letting her senses hover above the two men sitting at the helm.
Their minds felt heavy, laden with a responsibility to the ship, to their people. But beneath those burdens, she could sense a persevering courage, a stubborn hope, which separated them from all other men. They would not be so easily swayed by this storm. Neither will I, she decided, casting one final glance at the men before resuming her work.
An hour passed. Then two. Then three. About one eternity later, Carmen found her shift halfway over. An ensign appeared to relieve her temporarily, and while she almost turned him down, her stomach reminded her (loudly) that she had skipped breakfast when she left Sheppard's quarters that morning.
"Hold up!" someone called as she entered the turbolift. Her father wedged himself inside just as the doors were beginning to close. "I thought I'd take a break, too," he said. "Going to see Allan?"
She nodded. "Yeah, I was going to see if he's up yet. He worked pretty late, and...well...it was a long night for everyone, I suppose."
"Mind if I come with?" he asked, but something in his smile told her he wasn't really asking. Carmen raised an eyebrow.
"You...want to see Allan?"
Riker shrugged. He was hiding something, and whatever it was, it seemed to amuse him.
"Ah. I see," Carmen said. "This is one of your little surprises, isn't it?"
A chuckle rumbled in his throat. "It isn't fair, you know, living with two empaths. Well, don't worry-it's a good one."
They were all good ones. Like Troi's birthday last year, when he put on a concert in Ten Forward with all of her favorite songs. He even convinced Carmen to get up there with her trombone, and while she soured some of the notes, everyone gave them a standing ovation at the end. Or the time when Carmen was upset about being disqualified from a qa'vak competition (on the grounds that she was human, not Klingon), so Riker designed one in the holodeck for her. Worf coached her from the sidelines and she finished in third place. While she turned down Riker's trophy at first, calling it a fake, it sat on her bedside table to this day.
Carmen didn't know what he had in mind that morning, especially with everything else going on. But as they neared Sheppard's door, it soon became clear why Riker had followed her there. Peals of laughter rang out, as warm and golden as the Alaskan sun on a summer day. Carmen's jaw fell open, for she knew that laughter well. "Billy?"
When the door slid back, she discovered her little brother lying on top of a soft blanket. Sheppard sat cross-legged beside him, flying a toy plane through the air with sputtering sound effects. Every now and then he'd land the plane on the tip of Billy's nose, and it would send the baby into a squealing fit of laughter all over again.
"Billy!" Carmen exclaimed, rushing into the room.
Sheppard looked up, the plane frozen mid-flight. "Oh! Hey!"
Billy turned his head towards the sound of his sister's voice. His bright blue eyes followed her to the edge of his blanket, and he babbled joyously as she tucked him into her arms. "I love it, but- what is he doing here?"
"The commander dropped him off," Sheppard explained. Carmen's smile faltered.
"Wait a minute-" She looked over her shoulder at Riker. "Weren't you supposed to drop him off with Hannah?"
"I didn't feel like it." He shrugged, ignoring the way her eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"Does mom know?"
"Hey," he scolded, giving his uniform an indignant tug. "I have just as much say as your mother, and I'm perfectly capable of making decisions when it comes to my own children. But...yeah. She said it was okay."
Laughing, Carmen wrapped her finger around one of the dark curls framing her little brother's cheek. "So you guys have just been here all morning, having fun?"
Sheppard stood nearby, tossing the toy plane back and forth between his hands. "Oh yeah, it's been a blast. Hasn't it, kiddo?" Suddenly he straightened. "Hey! You guys won't believe what he did today! Watch this-" Carefully, he took Billy from her arms and placed him back down on the blanket. With Carmen and Riker exchanging curious glances, he held the plane above the baby's head, just out of reach. "Come on, you've got this," he urged.
Billy reached for it, and as he did, Sheppard moved the plane in an arc towards the ground. Billy followed, with much grunting and straining, until he rolled all the way over onto his fat little belly. "There you go!" Sheppard praised, and set the plane in front of him. With a triumphant growl, Billy shoved the toy into his mouth to gnaw on the plastic propeller.
Riker's applause thundered throughout the room. Carmen staggered back in disbelief. As she neared the door, it opened automatically behind her. Still she continued to back away, coming to a stop only once she bumped against the opposite wall. "Dunlap!" she shouted suddenly, disappearing in the direction of some hapless officer on his way to work. "Dunlap, get over here!"
She came back into view, dragging a bewildered-looking young man behind her. "Allan, make him do it again!" she ordered, shoving her newfound hostage inside. Stifling a laugh, Sheppard gently pried the toy from Billy's hands and held it out in front of him. This time, he moved the plane in an arc towards the ceiling, and as Billy stretched his arms to follow, he flopped from his stomach to his back.
"Did you see that? Dunlap, did you see that?" Carmen cried, shaking him violently in her excitement.
"Yes, um, wow," he said, glancing at the commander for help. "How-how old is he now?"
"Only four months!" Carmen let him go and scooped her little brother off the floor, holding him proud and aloft. "Us Rikers are always ahead of the curve, aren't we?"
Dunlap straightened his disheveled uniform. "Four months, did you say? But isn't that normally when babies roll-"
"Thanks Dunlap, it was good seeing you!" Sheppard ushered him quickly out the door, thanking him profusely to drown out the ensign's protests. Of course that was normally when babies rolled over. But in Carmen's eyes, everything her little brother did was miraculous, and nobody had the heart to tell her otherwise. Nobody except for the unwitting Dunlap, apparently.
Riker sent Sheppard a discreetly grateful smile. "Hey, has Deanna seen this yet?"
"No sir," Sheppard answered. "We've been here the whole time. And I replicated some mashed fruit for his lunch-"
"Mom! Oh, we have to tell mom!" Carmen shouted, thrusting the baby into Sheppard's arms. "Hurry Allan, maybe we can catch her between appointments! Come on dad, come on!"
"I'm coming, I'm coming," he laughed, although Carmen had already dashed out the door. She raced ahead, clearing a path through the multitude of bewildered bystanders. Sheppard followed, placating the crowd with apologetic smiles. From his arms, Billy whooped with delight, excited to be on this sudden adventure through the halls.
Approaching the counselor's door at last, Carmen crashed into the panel with a frantic ringing of the chimes. "Mom! Mom! Open up!"
The door swished open and Carmen went barreling inside. "Mom, you won't believe it! Guess who just-" She stopped in her tracks. Her mother rose from the sofa, a greeting perched on the tip of her tongue. Across from her, a man scrambled to his feet as well. A snarl curled Carmen's lips as soon as she recognized him. "What is he doing here?" she demanded.
But Kyle didn't seem to hear her. He took a step towards Sheppard and the baby, who had just come in behind the young woman. "Is that...is that him?" he asked.
"What, you mean Allan?" Carmen said, making a clumsy attempt to obscure her little brother from view.
"Please." Kyle continued his encroach, and his hands turned up in a plea. "May I hold my grandson?"
Sheppard glanced questioningly between the two women. "It's alright," Troi said, more so to Carmen than to Sheppard.
A funny little sigh escaped Kyle's lips as he gathered Billy into his arms. "He...he has blue eyes," he noted, barely loud enough for the others to hear. With a tenderness that seemed unbefitting and almost foreign to the old strategist, he brushed a knuckle down the side of the baby's face.
"Dad?" Riker's voice boomed from the doorway, where he had finally managed to catch up with them. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Will!" When Kyle looked up, a spark of light caught the corner of his eye where a tear had begun to form. "I...we were just…"
"We were just having a cup of tea," Troi finished for him, positioning herself between the two men. "Would you like some, imzadi?"
Sheppard tugged on Carmen's hand. "Did the commander just call him 'dad?'" he whispered. She gave him a look that said I'll explain later.
"No, I don't want tea. I want to know what business he has-"
"We all share the same business right now. Here, have a cup." Troi stared at him evenly as she closed his fingers around a hot mug. Give him a chance. He came here willing to share our fate, whatever that may be.
Riker accepted the cup without removing his eyes from Kyle. My father's never shared anything in his life.
You'd be surprised, how much he just shared with me. He's hurting, Will.
"He...he looks so much like you did, at this age," Kyle said, and a weak smile flitted across his lips. "I heard about it, when he was born. You had him on Betazed, didn't you?"
Riker didn't answer. Instead he stalked over to the window, blotting out a patch of pink light with his sullen silhouette. "That's right," Troi replied, reaching out to halt Carmen's restless pacing. The young woman stopped, but kept a watchful eye on her little brother. As she watched, a change seemed to come over the hardened old man. A warmth seeped into his features, thawing those sharp and rugged edges that had fended her off at first. Billy grabbed hold of his chin, trying to pull him closer, and a few of his little fingers worked their way into the corner of Kyle's mouth. He laughed in surprise, a sincere sound that made Billy gurgle happily in reply. Carmen turned away from the scene, stinging with betrayal. It was bad enough to think of her mother drinking tea with the k'pekt. But her baby brother, making him laugh?
"I uh, I heard Betazed has some of the most exotic plantlife," Kyle continued. "Betty...she loved flowers, you know. Remember her garden, Will?"
"I remember the cottonwood tree you chopped down," he retorted. "Punishment for breaking my arm."
Kyle winced. "I wasn't punishing you, Will. I...I was trying to keep you safe. You were always such a reckless kid." A sadly wistful laugh tumbled from his lips. "But that didn't keep you safe. All you did was go off to find other trees to climb."
Riker started to turn around, then stopped, holding tightly to his grudges.
"Harebells," Kyle said. "That was her favorite part of the garden. Remember? Purple harebells."
"Campanula rotundifolia," Sheppard said. Everyone's attention turned suddenly towards him, as though they had forgotten he was still in the room. "That's...their official name," he added, his voice trailing off into a whisper.
"It sure is," Kyle said, studying the young man with something akin to approval. "And what's your name?"
"Ensign Sheppard, sir," he said, holding out his hand. Slowly, awkwardly, he retracted his hand when he realized that Kyle could not shake it while holding the baby.
Carmen rolled her eyes. Not you, too, Allan! With a loud sigh, she marched over to the window to share one last scrap of solidarity with her father.
"Are you a botanist, Mister Sheppard?" Kyle asked.
"Hm? Oh, uh, I'm an engineer," he replied, staring worriedly after Carmen. "But my mom was a botanist."
"He works in the ship's arboretum on his days off," Troi said. "Carmen too, sometimes. Though I think there's a petition going around to ban her from ever touching another plant."
She shot her mother a scowl. "You'd think I killed her firstborn, not a bunch of stupid flowers," she muttered.
Sheppard cracked a grin, recalling how he had to put in extra hours to make up for the trail of destruction Carmen left behind in the wake of her "help." Eventually they decided that just as bat'leth lessons weren't for Sheppard, gardening wasn't a hobby that suited the young woman.
"I never had a green thumb, either," Kyle admitted. "Tried my damnedest to keep Betty's flowers alive after...afterwards. But I didn't have her touch, I guess. She was a natural with stuff like that. Kind of..kind of like you, counselor."
Slowly, Carmen turned her face towards the senior Riker. Her mother smiled, but not at him. She was watching her daughter softly, waiting it seemed. What exactly did you two talk about?
The floor bucked suddenly. Carmen's feet shot out from beneath her and she went crashing into her father. Billy cried out, frightened by the klaxons that sounded above. "All bridge officers return to your posts," came the urgent order.
Riker helped Carmen up, just as another shockwave rocked the Enterprise. Outside the window, they saw orange bursts of light exploding against the ship's shields. "What's going on?" she cried, clinging to his arm.
"I don't know." He squared his jaw with grim determination. "But let's go find out."
"What about them?" She peered across the darkened room, searching for the rest of her family. Troi stood on one side of Kyle, Sheppard on the other, bracing him against every impact as he clutched Billy to his chest. While her mother's worry filled up the room, touching every wall and rising to the ceiling, Carmen felt anger welling in the pit of her stomach. The Borg didn't care about broken families trying to heal. They didn't care about little brothers and milestones. They just took and took until there was nothing left. And they had already taken everything from her once.
"Go on," Kyle urged. He looked Carmen in the eye, and to her amazement, she caught a faded glimpse of that persevering courage, that stubborn hope, she thought exclusive to her father and the captain. "They'll be alright. I promise."