A/N: Somehow your distressed reviews make me laugh. I think this writing thing is feeding my sadism.
The next day, Makoto didn't go to school.
He claimed he was sick. He wasn't sure if his parents believed him, but they still let him stay home.
Makoto burrowed further under his covers, taking comfort in the warming heat.
He sighed.
Tomorrow he would have to go to school, and face the reality of a Haru-less life.
For now he could pretend to be sick, but eventually, he would have to go.
Makoto wrapped the blankets around him tighter. He needed to plan how he would keep out of Haruka's way.
He still thought that the dating Gou plan was good, but even that would make him see Haruka too often.
Makoto frowned.
He would have to quit the swim team.
But while he was sure Haruka would appreciate his absence, he wasn't sure how the rest of the team would take it.
It wouldn't be good to leave the team without a captain, right?
Makoto sighed and massaged his temple.
This was all so complicated. His head was starting to hurt.
Makoto fell back onto his bed, letting himself sink into the fortress of pillows.
He wasn't ready to deal with this. He needed a break.
He lay still, trying to rest.
Somehow he still couldn't fall asleep. Even though he had spent all night crying, the exhaustion wasn't enough to stop his racing mind.
Every time he closed his eyes, he thought of Haruka.
Makoto shook his head and sat up.
No, it was pointless even trying. Makoto settled for sitting on his bed and staring at the wall, reflecting on all the mistakes that led him here.
He supposed that meeting Haruka was the first. Falling in love with him was the second.
Makoto sighed.
He grabbed a pillow and crushed it against his chest. It reminded him of hugging Haruka, the way that grabbing the boy made him feel safe and secure.
If he couldn't have Haruka, then he could at least have a reminder. He needed this, needed some way to comfort himself.
He lay like that for a long time, lying in bed, clutching a pillow.
Suddenly, he heard a sound. Were those…footsteps? Maybe his parents had come home?
Makoto sat up, listening as the sounds approached.
Suddenly, the door to his bedroom swung open and Haruka stepped in.
Makoto stared.
Why was Haru in his bedroom?
Haruka walked forwards, peering at the closed blinds and the nest of blankets Makoto had made.
He moved toward Makoto, stopped at the end of his bed, and sat down.
Makoto fisted his hands in his sheets. What was happening? Why was Haruka here?
He caught the blue eyed boy staring at his him. He turned away.
Had he come here as some sort of last goodbye? An apology for not liking him enough?
Well, Makoto didn't need that. He didn't need Haruka's pity.
Makoto was pulled from his internal thoughts by Haruka reaching out and placing his palm to his forehead.
Makoto's eyes widened.
Haruka frowned and removed his hand.
"No fever" he said.
He twisted and grabbed Makoto's head, pulling his face close and peering into his eyes. Makoto tried not to blush as Haruka held his jaw and watched him from so close a distance.
Haruka released him, and sat back. He looked sort of—worried?
"You've been crying" he said.
Makoto turned away. How was he supposed to respond to that? Did Haru expect him to say, 'yeah, I was crying all night'? Is that what he wanted?
Haruka continued to look at him, and Makoto couldn't take it. He couldn't stand Haru, sitting there, seeing him in all his weakness.
So what if he cried? So what if he was an idiot who wept over stupid things he should have realized years ago?
That didn't make it right for Haru to come here and see.
Makoto was angry. Haruka had no right, no right to watch him like this.
Makoto wanted to scream, to yell at Haruka to leave.
Makoto took a deep breath. He looked over at Haruka, still the boy he had known and loved all these years. He knew he couldn't actually scream at him.
Makoto settled for grabbing his blankets, and pulling them around himself, literally hiding in them. Sure, he felt childish, but it was the only thing keeping him from snapping at Haruka to go away.
Haruka was frowning. He looked unsure if he should move closer to Makoto, or back off. In the end, he stayed where he was.
A long silence followed.
"Are you actually sick?" Haru asked.
Makoto didn't answer. The answer was obvious enough.
Haruka continued to look at him.
"Did Kou reject you?"
Makoto sat up and stared at Haru. Why would Haruka think that?
"No" he said.
Haru looked confused.
"But then why were you crying?" he asked.
Oh. Haru thought Makoto was crying because Gou had rejected him.
Makoto frowned.
So that was why Haru had come here, to make sure that he and Gou had hooked up.
He was just here to ensure that Makoto had been successfully passed onto the next person.
Makoto shouldn't have been surprised.
"I wasn't crying" he said.
Haruka frowned. He didn't look like he believed him.
Makoto didn't care.