CHAPTER 11: THE START OF BEING USEFUL

The sun rose more beautifully than any other day. It had a simple reason yet precious to someone… It was Sakura. She woke up feeling a bit weary from those every night dreams but knowing that that day was surely going to be one of her favorite days kept her going up on her bed. She looked at her mirror, seeing if there's still a slight trace of those horrific days. But there was none, just a new morning smile and the same sparkling necklace her best friend gave her. And it also made her realize that a month staying here made her a much stronger, in a non-physical way…

Anyways, as she put on her uniform, she also realized that it was almost winter and autumn leaves were falling out of nowhere. She could see the orange effect of the trees to her environment. She could feel the cold breeze blowing through her window. It was splendid and magically beautiful. Then again, the memory from the weekend came back.

"Tomorrow… I'm going to…go back to…school…"

"Why did he only tell me? Why does he want to keep that a secret with me? What's his real reason?" she murmured to herself. "I mean, why…me?"

--

"Ohayou-gozaimasu, Sakura-san!"

"L-Lee-san?!"

Lee had come back to school as Sakura and Naruto entered the classroom.

"What the hell are you doing here, bushy-brow?!" Naruto shouted.

"Lee-san, shouldn't you still be in the hospital?" Sakura asked the second after Naruto.

"Oh, do not worry, Sakura-san. I'm really fine now." Lee assured her. "Please trust me, Sakura-san. I've been staying in the hospital for a week. The doctor said I could go out but I shouldn't push myself."

"But-"

"Sakura-san…"

Sakura, of course, couldn't help but worry about Lee's condition. A week wasn't supposed to be enough, right? But on the other hand, it was the doctor who said it was alright. So maybe it is alright…right?

"Well…" Sakura sighed. "Alright. As long as you promise me to do everything the doctor tells you, like…not pushing yourself, okay?"

"Of course. I promise."

Sakura half-smiled and so did Naruto. Lee assured again and it convinced her. So she and Naruto went to their seats. But at the slight moment Sakura sat, she noticed the seat beside her and she remembered him again.

"If ever you slap me again…" he looked at her with a smirk. "…I might be able to punch you like what you said back then."

Sakura smiled absentmindedly with a bit color pink on her cheeks. Wait! What am I thinking? There's no way I could be… No! Impossible. With him? No. No, no, no, no, NO!!! She bowed her head on her desk and repeated to herself the same thoughts. But, could she really be…liking him? NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!!!!

KRIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!

"Huh?" and she came back to her senses as she heard the loud bell.

She straightened herself as students came to their seats and Sakura was strangely nervous about her seatmate's arrival. But when the classroom was steady, he still didn't arrive. She was looking everywhere, might be in another seat. But he wasn't. She looked at the door but no one came. Just their teacher, Kakashi. And as he was in front, Sasuke still didn't arrive. Sakura sighed sorrowfully. Sigh…Maybe he was just lying to make a fool out of me again. she thought. Seconds passed with no Uchiha, until…

"Tok! Tok!"

Everyone in the room turned their heads to the door as they were drawn to the sound, except for Sakura, still feeling sad and disappointed. And different reactions were made: Naruto growled with anger, Lee controlled his anger but his fist was clenching tight, Kiba was shocked a little bit angry, Ino gasped with shock and happiness and others were just shocked for the person who suddenly came back… But Sakura wasn't reacting. She was still disappointed that she made a fool out of herself.

"Well… Look who's coming back…" Kakashi said with his sheepy eyes at the walking raven-head(towards his seat).

He sat beside the disappointed Sakura, not seeing him since she was bowing her head in grief. And he wondered if he was really correct of calling her…

"Hey, idiot."

"What is i- Huh?!"

It was him, Sasuke. He finally came. He was just late, that's all. And Sakura didn't know that from all her "grieving period" over him. Her eyes widened with surprise. She covered her mouth to prevent hearing her loud gasp at seeing her seatmate. And she could see him, right there, beside her, smirking again.

"U…Uchiha…san?!" she gasped behind her two hands.

He didn't answer but he murmured something only Sakura could hear.

"The secret."

She blinked her eyes and remembered that she promised to keep what happened in the weekend a secret. She now calmed herself but she still half-smiled secretly and turned to her front. She felt relieved, now that she was mistaken from her own thoughts.

I knew it! He wasn't lying. He wasn't making fun of me… He changed. I know it. I just know it…!

--

KRIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!!!!!!

"Uchiha-san, I-"

Sasuke didn't even bother listening to her. He just stood up.

It was lunchbreak and Sakura decided to ask Sasuke about their secret conversation. But, he wouldn't listen. As he passed by Naruto coming to Sakura, he heard him growl with irritation.

"Hmm?" Sakura wondered.

"Sakura-chan!"

"Naruto?"

"Did he hurt you? Did he do anything bad? Did he say that word again?" Naruto asked with a fast pace.

They could hear girls screaming with adoration and excitement with the come back of Sasuke. Ino had the loudest scream of all. After all, she's the president of "the" fanclub. But Sasuke didn't mind anything or anybody when he came out of the classroom. He just walked through the hallways feeling different stares: ones with drooling, ones with fear, even ones with jealousy. But it didn't matter to him. No. Nothing really matters to him. Well, except for the stupid conscience in his head coming back again. And he hated coming back to school just because of an invisible voice and a girl he's irritated with.

Meanwhile…

"Naruto, I'm fine. Really!"

"Are you sure? Really, really sure??" Naruto exclaimed.

"Yes. I'm really, really fine. Don't worry."

Naruto was still feeling worried towards Sakura after she talked with Uchiha Sasuke. He didn't know anything that happened in the secret conversation they had. All he knew was they talked and that's it. Sakura didn't tell him, for the first time. And he could feel that Sakura was keeping secrets again, but he didn't want to make any conclusions that may end up worse. Sakura, too, didn't want to keep secrets from him, but it was the only way that she could keep the new friendship alive. So, as much as it hurts her, she didn't have any choice but to keep it away from Naruto.

--

As the days continued, Sakura felt a bit different sitting beside Sasuke. She sometimes glanced at the corner of her eyes of what Sasuke's face would look like whenever they sat beside each other. But poor Sakura, Sasuke kept his cool even if he felt her glance. He just kept his eyes straight, crossed arms and not talking, just a typical Sasuke Uchiha.

Sakura wasn't disturbed much with Tenten and Hinata's teasing. She proclaimed to them and to herself that she never did and she never will like him. Ino would sometimes open her giant ear in eavesdropping to the three gals. She felt irritated whenever she could hear Tenten and Hinata's words to Sakura. But she made sure that nothing would take her Sasuke away, and that what Sakura said to her when she felt her eavesdropping. Seeing that Sakura has no interest on him, Ino just laughed by herself and pointed her finger to them saying "No one will ever take my Sasuke away!! Ahahahaha!!!".

Whenever Sakura would call Sasuke back, he never looks at her. During recess and lunch break, Sasuke would pretend that he didn't hear anything. Sakura would sigh and then Naruto would come into the picture. Sakura would just deal with the truth and tell herself that at the moment, Sasuke and she already talked and made a new friendship that would cover all that happened from the past… Or so she thinks…

One week left until winter comes and Sakura could feel the essence of a new beginning of her stay. It has been a month and a half and Sakura missed her parents more… But Naruto could make her smile in any way he could. Once, Sakura told Naruto that the only spell she knew was going back. Naruto could hear the sadness in her voice and he told her that she could go. Sakura was surprised and assured Naruto that she couldn't go back because of him. She said that maybe some other time would be best…

And so, December came and snow came quickly. Nothing new came… Sakura and Naruto would hang out together… They would sometimes walk with Lee… Sasuke kept going to school(since it was the only way)… Whenever Sakura would see him alone, she decides to take the chance, but the chances were taken by running fans and overloaded letters and screams. But she never gave up. She kept hoping that there would be a day that Sasuke and she could have an alone time and talk again…

So, it was another weekend and roads were mostly covered by snow. It wasn't the coldest yet, but sweaters were on demand already. Waters were in ice and people were still walking in the cold streets…

"Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan!"

Naruto was knocking on her door in the early morning. He had been knocking for half an hour already but she wasn't answering.

"Sakura-chan, please. If you're there, open the door!"

Naruto had been in the Suzuki's shop but she wasn't there. He went to the school, hoping she was in anywhere in the campus, but no Sakura. He went outside in the cold to run and look for her but still no trace of her. He called Lee, Hinata, Tenten, but all their answers were "no". He wanted to call Sasuke but he was sure that she couldn't be with him. Impossible… So he went back to the apartment and decided to knock at her door.

"Please, Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan! Open the door!"

Naruto felt something bad when he woke up that morning. He never felt anxious about anything except for Sakura's safety. Those times he could see or hear her cry where definitely hell for him. He would promise anything for her. He would do anything for her. Even if she didn't know, Naruto wanted her to feel that his heart was for her and only her. It was enough just to hold her hands and keep her the whole day all to himself… He accepted her for who she was all along. He knew her more than anyone in his world. He knew her fears and happiness. He knew her from the bottom of his heart. Whenever Sasuke was there, he wanted to fight him not for the same reason before but to protect her. But surely, Sasuke wouldn't hurt her right now in her own home, right? It couldn't be Sasuke… But what was the anxiety Naruto could feel that moment? Did Sakura leave without any "goodbye"? Did Sakura get lost on her way? Did she kill herself? Probably not, of course. But what could make Naruto shake and tremble for her?

"Grr… If you don't open this door, I will come inside!" he growled.

He took few steps backward and ran to the door and slammed his side to open it. First attempt was a failure. Second, failure. And then third, jackpot! He managed to open the door and landed on the floor. But he didn't mind the pain. He quickly stood up and saw Sakura's bedroom door a little open. She's still inside! he thought. He ran and slowly stopped as he opened the door little by little. And what his eyes saw, a pale and beautiful Sakura laying on her bed, breathing hard and sweating so much.

"Sakura-chan!"

Naruto quickly placed his hand on her forehead and felt the hottest temperature he could find that day. Sakura had a fever, a high fever. Naruto gasped at her temperature and quickly said, "Sakura-chan has fever!!".

He stood up and ran to a small kitchen. He managed to find a small towel and he filled a bowl cold water and did things the old way. He placed the towel on her forehead. He wiped her sweaty face and arms and changed the towel every now and then.

"Oh God! Why didn't I see this coming?!" Naruto said, frustrated, with hands on his head. He was freaking out in Sakura's room…

Then, he turned his head to see her again. His eyes widened a little when he stared at the pale figure on the bed. Sakura-chan… He slowly sat on the edge of her bed and slowly placed his hand on her face. It felt hot. And it made him twitch a little. His hand stayed there for a long time and then, he closed his eyes.

"Sakura-chan…" he started whispering. "You know what? I really like you." He smiled at her. "I really, really do… But, I guess, you don't know that. I'm just a friend to you. You're dearest friend, right?" he looked at two picture frames at the headboard. "You really love your parents, don't you Sakura-chan?"

One of the pictures was Sakura and her parents. They looked so happy, laughing and hugging each other… Naruto smiled at the picture and looked at the other frame. It was his favorite picture since Sakura and he met. It was their first picture on their picnic. Just them… Just Naruto and Sakura, smiling.

He looked back to Sakura's face. She was breathing slowly now. His hand was still on her cheek, and it felt warm now. Even if it was a mystery how Sakura's fever got down fast, Naruto didn't mind. He just thought that it was his hand that caused her fever to go down. So he smiled again…

"Ne, Sakura-chan. If I ever ask you to go out with me, will you say 'yes'?" he started to speak again. "Even if… just once?"

His eyes narrowed a little, like sleepy eyes. But he wasn't sleepy. He was adoring her. "Sakura-chan, you're really incredible, you know. You're a magician, a sorceress. But you don't want to use it because you want to be like me. And your parents too, they're incredible too. They accept you even if you don't want to be like them. They accept you even if came here… They love you, Sakura-chan. They love you very much…" he was slowly leaning forward Sakura as his eyes were slowly closing. "They love you…" his lips were three inches away from her lips. "…as much as I love you right now…" he was about to kiss her lips when he opened his eyes and moved his head upward and kissed her forehead. "But I don't have the right to say that right now," he leaned away and smiled again. "I'll just let you live a happy life and maybe…someday…" he lied on Sakura's chest like hugging her. "Maybe, I'll just tell you then."

Naruto slowly closed his eyes again and hoped to dream about Sakura's smile again. Sakura-chan… And so, darkness came to him.

--

"Mmm…" Why do I feel something on me?

As she slowly opened her eyes, she realized that Naruto was lying on top of her chest, sleeping.

"N-Naruto?" she gasped silently. "What is he doing here?"

Then, she felt a small folded towel on her forehead and remembered that she fainted that morning.

"That's right, I lost consciousness a while ago. Which explains…" She looked at Naruto's sleeping face.

Naruto… she smiled. Arigatou…

She placed her hand on Naruto's head and caressed his hair. She smiled to herself. At that moment, even if her other friends weren't there beside her, she felt loved. She felt protected and loved just like whenever she was with her parents. And she looked at Naruto again, thinking that maybe… Naruto loved her, in a romantic way. Not in a friendly way anymore…

"Naruto… Are you…in love with me?" Sakura asked to him even if he didn't hear.

Sakura felt guilt inside her. She didn't know why. It felt like the weight of guilt was crunching the organs inside of her, melting slowly. It felt like, she'd made so many mistakes for Naruto. She felt the same feeling when Sasuke would say the word "useless" to her; only it was much harder to bear.

And because of the pain, she never noticed that she was already crying. Naruto was moving a little and was slowly opening his eyes.

"S…Sakura-chan? Are you awake?" Naruto asked as he was opening his eyes.

Sakura hurriedly wiped her tears. Naruto leaned away and looked at Sakura.

"N-Naruto, what were you doing here?" she repeated her question a moment ago.

"Oh, I, umm," Naruto sat up and placed his hands on his head while blushing. "I, well, I just…you know, took care of you. Ehehehe!!"

Sakura managed to smile. But inside of her, she was still hurting. She could feel that every time she sees Naruto like that, it hurts her. Like, she doesn't deserve the kindness he gives her…

After a few seconds of silence…

"Ne, Naruto…" Sakura started to become serious, but with a sad tone.

"Wh-what is it, Sakura-chan?" Naruto put his hands down.

"I…"

It was painful for Sakura to ask him that moment. But it would more painful if she didn't let it out. But she also knew that it might be unbearable for Naruto himself.

"I…want to ask you something…" Sakura continued as she bowed her head.

"What is it?"

"Naruto… Are you…"

Was it really right to ask him this? Will he understand? What Sakura discovered really right or just another one of her imaginations? Was Naruto really…?

Sakura gulped in fear and anxiety. Naruto waited calmly.

"Are you…in love…"

She gulped again.

"……with me?"

.

.

.

"Eh?"