Summary:

Where Rey just can't stand it anymore and Kylo probably totally wouldn't mind if he knew that it had even happened. And then our duo celebrate making it through a morning of raging hormones by going deeper into the mountains and falling deeper into each other.

Also:

This fic has finally earned it's M rating, just so you know. But it took 'em long enough, amiright?

Rey had promised herself that the moment that she started to have another sex dream she needed to wake up.

That was the only acceptable response. She couldn't keep getting all worked up like this. Couldn't risk getting caught or letting her wayward thoughts run away from her too far.

She and Kylo were platonic friends brought together by circumstance. Nothing more. All this cuddling and sharing and embracing was just... just...

Shit. She didn't actually have a good answer for that.

Oh! Comfort! That's the one! They were comforting each other. Like friends do. Nothing more.

And what friends definitely don't do is fantasize about shoving her pal's head between her legs night after night. Certainly not more than once. Or twice. Or maybe a few more times than that, but why is it always oral anyhow? And why doesn't her horny, raunchy, and infinitely selfish mind ever think about reciprocating?

But oh no, she doesn't. Doesn't make a peep of objection when her latest Dream Kylo kisses his way down her torso and starts wriggling his head into place between her legs.

When he actually gets there, though, that's when Rey knows that she needs to wake up. Needs to put a stop to this dream even though it's starting to get so lovely. It's been eight days. That must be it. Eight long and frustrating days and only now is she finally letting him put his tongue to good-

No.

Rey's eyes shoot open.

Good girl. You should stop now.

It's still dark outside but she can hear crickets chirping. That means that dawn is almost here. Just a few more minutes and the sky is barely light enough for her to see.

Kylo is up, too. He's still asleep, of course, being the heavy sleeper that he is when he finally falls under. But he's up nevertheless.

This time it's much worse than before because he's pressed himself against her belly. There's absolutely no way to ignore or deny it like that. The skin on her stomach is much more sensitive than her back and she can feel him so clearly that it's driving her body absolutely nuts.

The worst part? The really sick, wrong part? She is the one laying on top of him instead of the other way round. Draped over his torso and with her legs wrapped around one of his thighs like a boa constrictor.

That means that it's her fault that she's grinding against him. She can't get mad at him for it now either, because she must have been the spooning instigator in the night.

Good morning Kylo. Good morning Kylo's boner. How is it that this is her life now? What bizarre parallel universe has she fallen into?

Apparently the one where she's all tingly between her thighs and can't say for sure whether she was humping his leg in her sleep or not.

So yeah, that's her life too, apparently. Rey the Sleep Groping Pervert.

At least, for all fuck's sake, he's still asleep. Still unconscious and blissfully unaware that she can feel him saluting her.

Ever so carefully, she lifts herself off him. Slides down next to him and watches his chest rise and fall with the steady rhythm of his breath.

Only when she's convinced that he's absolutely and completely asleep, does she let her gaze drift lower along his body. His pants are impressively tented and it makes her stomach do a pleasant flip-flop at the tactile memory of how that had felt pressed against her skin seconds ago.

She really, really needs to stop thinking about this right now. Stop staring at his hard-on and allowing her filthy mind to constantly keep her dream on repeat in the background of her thoughts. It's so hard to ignore though, when her engine is practically purring and he's... so hard, also.

A sharp flinch at the horrible pun and she squeezes her eyes shut. That just makes it worse. Makes the image in her head all the more vibrant and her legs press together tightly before she catches them.

So she forces her eyes open again, cheeks burning and face feeling hot. Everything on her, actually, is feeling exceptionally hot. Her blood is pounding in her veins and settling into the exact place that's bothering her the most.

She reaches out and touches Kylo's arm. No response. She pushes on his shoulder a little and his breathing changes. The arm that she had trapped underneath her when she rolled off his chest moves. Cradling around her back in tight next to him and, even in his sleep, somehow it finds its way to cup her ass.

Any woman with even the tiniest hint of decency would slap it away. Would leave the tent and then go out somewhere private and take care of the itch she can't wait to scratch.

Apparently she's not decent. Not at all. Because instead of feeling compelled to get out of there, she cuddles back down next to him. Feeling an overwhelming tug of sleepiness falls over her and she doesn't try to fight it. Carefully to not wake him, she places her head on his shoulder, breathing in the scent of his neck, and lets her eyes drift closed.

She wakes up again sweaty and all kinds of bothered. Apparently her plan of sleeping out her horniness until her body gives up on it didn't work, go figure.

In the process of their late morning spent lazing in bed, Kylo had turned over from his back to his side. He's facing her now with her head on the crook of his arm and he has her tucked in close under his chin.

It's a classic spooning posture, but it loses much of its romantic, old-school charm by the clear evidence that they're both still highly aroused.

Rey would be oddly impressed by his ability to maintain over such an extended period of time if she didn't have her own issues to worry about. She's practically aching and if she doesn't get out of here and away from him soon she's going to have to do something about. Either she's going to spontaneously combust and rub it out right here in his arms, or she can to take whatever shred of dignity she has left and flee like a bat out of hell.

Reason finally prevails.

She tears herself away, pushing and jostling him when he tries to keep again his side again, clinging like an octopus. By the time he wakes up and mumbles to her what's wrong her shoes are on and she's already halfway out. Throws some vague line about needing some fresh air over her shoulder as she retreats to the car in a moment of panicky deja vu.

Kylo calls out to her, sounding bewildered, but doesn't follow. Maybe realizing about his own condition and she hopes he doesn't think that she's angry at him for that. It was just... what? Uncomfortable? No, that's definitely the wrong word. If anything, being pressed up against him like that was too comfortable. She probably could have spent all morning like that, drifting between daydreams.

That line of thought's not helping. She needs to calm down and regroup.

So she takes off nearly running. A nice morning jog. That should be the ticket. Burn off some of this excess energy she suddenly has so much of.

When Rey gets back Kylo is nowhere to been seen and their camp is quiet.

A little investigation shows that his towel is gone and some of his clothes have been taken out of the trunk. Last night they'd seen a small stream down the hill and around a bend from their camp.

Washing up actually sounds like a pretty good idea. Too bad she can't clean up her dirty mind along with the rest of her, but every opportunity to bathe in the desert is one that should not be missed.

Only when she's thrown a bar of soap and other bathing supplies into a bag and headed off in the direction of the hopefully ice-cold stream does Rey take the chance to reflect. Good grief, you dumb bitch, get it together.

Okay, maybe she's being harsh on herself, but it's nothing that a few minutes of privacy can't fix.

Kylo apparently had the same idea. Exactly the same, actually.

Rey rounds the corner where the path circles by a tall boulder and sees him by the stream. His shirt if partially open but he's not in the water. Instead, he's sitting down with his back against a fallen tree and his hand in his pants.

Her first instinct is to gasp. Then to panic and turn around. Pretend she saw nothing retreat back to safety and as silent as the grave.

She knows that she should do all that. But she doesn't when she realizes that he doesn't notice her. When he doesn't doesn't look up and doesn't stop what he's doing. His eyes are closed and if it wasn't for the continuous movement of his arm she might have been able to tell herself he was asleep.

But when she sees him work himself free from his pants she makes a decision.

Curiosity wins out. Sheer, pure, natural curiosity. And maybe a little bit of a misguided sense of entitlement. She's been feeling the damn thing poking at her skin night after night now, so maybe that means...

No. It doesn't mean she has the right to do anything. But she's still totally going to look.

One quick peak. Just so she knows. Can put an image to the feeling ghosting along the memory of her skin.

All sense of reason fails when he exposes himself to the open air. So trusting in his complete privacy at this absolutely most personal of moments.

Rey sinks her teeth into her palm. Crouches lower and deeper into the shadow of the rock and tree to hide herself.

He's hard again, or maybe it never went down from the night.

That thought alone is almost enough to make Rey do the right thing and leave with her tail between her legs and her face on fire. But now that she's crossed the line into full-fledged voyeurism, there's no going back. She really wants to see this out.

Oh how she wants to see this out. On a will purely of their own, her fingers creep back inside her pants. Immediately moving to that spot where they'd started to play two nights ago.

Still oblivious to his silent audience, Kylo starts to work himself very quickly. Rey's eyebrows shoot up at the sheer speed he's chosen. Her fingers rush to catch up to his breakneck pace and she finds herself more than ready. Slick and practically throbbing against her own touch as she silently gets off from watching her platonic friend go to town on himself.

Her brain is currently divided into three clear and very dissociative parts. The Good Girl Rey is the loudest. Shouting at the rest of the hers to get their kinky ass out of here and give the man some kriffing privacy. Bad Girl Rey is too busy enjoying the view to comment at the moment. And the final, analytical side can't help but do inappropriate comparisons. She's seen naked men before, but never an erect naked man. At least not in real life. Apparently that status makes a big difference and it seems rather unfair to all the others to compare them with the eye candy she's secretly witnessing at the moment.

Too much thinking. Too much thinking and not enough touching. Something else that she's doing very wrong, but since she's committed to seeing this out she might as well fix one of those problems.

Her belly twists and her teeth sink deeper into her free palm. The spike of arousal that shoots through her when she gives into this is hard to keep quiet.

So she bites harder. Shifts lower and sits on her heels. Then unbuttons her pants with her free hand and slides it in under the two layers of fabric.

Rey's mind may have been torn with guilty indecisiveness, but her body is certainly giving her an all-clear. Enthusiasm overflowing and encouraging her through hyper-sensitive and slick skin to keep going, don't stop now.

Her hips and hand find an easy rhythm together. Rocking against her fingers despite struggling with the tension of waistbands and non-stretch denim fabric.

It's so worth it. Worth the difficulty and worth getting caught.

Kylo is oblivious to the randy voyeur violating him with her eyes. Too wrapped up in his own pleasure and Rey's breath catches as he starts to work himself faster.

Her hand speeds up along with him. Already she can feel herself almost there at the edges. So pent up and desperate for this after these last few days.

He moans and it's all she can do to control herself. Sinks her teeth in even harder, doubtlessly leaving crescent shaped bruises, and leans against the boulder shielding her for support.

Kriff... she should have been doing this every chance she had. Before they'd gotten so much closer and cuddled up together. She'd had plenty of opportunity when she was alone where she could have been taking care of this desperate need.

Very little blood is reaching her head and it's unusual for her to finish this fast but it makes sense. All those nights together. All that touching. Waking up to him like that again and again.

The memory of how he felt pressed and rigid against her stomach is enough to start the spiral of pleasure within her. Dizzily, she tries to fight it, only to refocus on Kylo and see that his eyes are scrunched tightly closed. His fist is in his mouth and there's no way he could be very far behind her.

It triggers a spasm against her fingers. Somehow she succeeds against all odds and finishes silently. Panting and leaning against the cool rock face to keep herself grounded in reality. Her body coiling tight and shaking with each wave of pleasure gripping her and clamping down against the busy hand between her legs.

Kylo is hunched over. Supporting himself barely with a trembling arm. It brings a smile to her parted lips, wanting to burn the image of him like that into her mind forever to revisit on lonely nights.

Then she reluctantly starts to pull herself back together. She can just use a babywipe on herself and skip the bath. Go be useful and pack up the camp. Or something like that. She forgets what but knows that she was in the middle of doing something before stumbling across her pretty young boy and getting all distracted.

Said pretty boy is still oblivious. Remaining stooped over and trying to catch his breath.

Oh yes. The 'refractory time'. Another perk of being a girl. Because when Kylo is still a panting mess Rey has already recovered enough to pull her hand out of her pants and zip them up.

Then she creeps away as quietly as a ninja in the dark. Refusing to acknowledge any part of what happened to anyone. Especially herself.

Most definitely not to herself.

Rey has packed up most of the camp by the time her companion comes back along the path from the creek.

"Have a good bath?" she chirps, smiling to herself at her joke and feeling exceptionally upbeat after finally getting some much needed relief. All those hormones of youth have to be good for something.

Kylo cocks his head to the side and she'd swear there's a touch of color to his cheeks but she ignores it. She's feeling rather glowy herself at the moment.

"No complaints," he answers, casually avoiding eye contact.

She nods, folding up the last pieces of the tent while he automatically picks up the heavier stuff to take back to her car.

Getting as late a start as they do, Rey opts to spend a little more time in this area. Tomorrow they're going to press deeper into the mountains, but the gravel road they're on both skirts the edge of the peaks while staying within convenience of the main highway.

Her GPS doesn't mark many of the side roads, but when they pass a sign for a "lookout tower" Rey immediately swerves onto it. Kylo points out that the sign had been crossed out with orange reflective tape, but that just shows a distinct lack of imagination on his part.

The road to it is more than rough, it's practically destroyed. A forest fire from years ago had left it deeply rutted and occasionally obstructed. Both of these making it a perfect test for her new ride.

She's impressed. By the time they pull up to what once had been a dirt parking lot but is now a grassy glade she's pretty sure that every loose item in the cabin has shaken into a new position by all the bumping.

Her SUV, however, is no worse for wear besides the thick layer of dust coating every outer surface.

"Now it looks like we finally belong in this state!" she chirps, hopping out and fingerpainting a smiley face into the grime on the back window.

Kylo shakes his head. Whether he's amused or exasperated by the bone-jerking ride she just gave him no say on isn't clear. But she still laughs when he sarcastically writes "wash me" next to her face.

The walk up to the top of the hill with the lookout takes longer than it had looked like it would. The old sign was half burnt through, leaving out the critical detail of how many miles it was to the tower.

Apparently more than just a few, because the trail circled and zig-zagged. Taking them in the most roundabout and indirect way to where she wasn't sure what was their destination anymore.

Kylo had remained pretty muted, but for once his silence wasn't burdensome. So many thoughts were running through her mind that she was glad for the quiet company.

She feels like she's reaching a tipping point in their relationship. A crossroads that doesn't leave her much time left to decide which way to go. And there's such a dissonance between her soul and her logical mind. It's throwing her off. Making her doubt herself even though she never had a planned course to begin with.

When the get to the base of the tower, the entrance is boarded up. It's a tall metal structure, and it looks rickety but still relatively stable. Kylo tells her that this kind of lookout is still used today for fire detection, but many of them are derelict because of satellite surveillance.

She frowns. It would have been nice to see the view from the top. They're high up on a hill and she was sure it was a spectacular panorama but the skeleton shapes of dead trees are rather ruining the effect.

A loud crack snap behind her and she turns to see Kylo pulling off the top boards of the blockade.

"They were rotten anyhow," he explains with a shrug, and she all too eagerly lets him pick her up in his arms to sweep her over the top edge. He climbs in along after her and they start the nerve-wracking ascent to the little lookout room on top, taking it one step of the metal spiral staircase at a time.

Beautiful. Empty and desolate and beautiful.

The hatch at the top of the stairs had been rusted shut, but a few good shoves from Kylo's shoulder had worked it open. And now they were in a small 20 by 20 windowed room that noticeably shifted from side to side with the continuous breeze.

Graffiti littered the walls. Rey took a pen out of her purse and wrote "K+R, 2017" on a space that overlooked the highest peak. Then she debated whether to encircle it with a heart or if that was just too much.

Yes. Most definitely that was too much. Too soon and much too much. So she puts it in a smiley face instead and writes a 'wash me' under it. Hoping that Kylo won't notice her being so ridiculous.

The man in question pays little attention. Starts talking about some of the history and significance of the Gila Wilderness they can see on the horizon but Rey honestly isn't paying much attention to what hes' saying.

And an idea is starting to form. A terrible idea, probably, though the more she thinks about it, the louder it gets in her head.

"Sit down with me?" Rey asks, patting the free space on the single-board wooden bench next to her.

It's a strange request, given the precariousness of the platform they're on. But Kylo obligingly joins her, holding up her camera and scrolling the photos they've just taken.

Now that she thinks about it, it's not really a bad idea. No. It's appropriate. For the circumstances and to her frame of mind, at least.

"Kylo?"

He pauses mid-sentence and looks at her. Then frowns and pulls back a little, making her realize she was leaning up against him.

"Is something-"

Rey kisses him.

Leans in even closer and pulls on his shoulders as she presses their mouths together. Despite sitting down, their height difference is pronounced. For some reason this makes her even more excited by this moment.

Her first real kiss. With him. Her stalker. This is so wrong and so perfect.

Kylo doesn't move a muscle. Allows her to run her lips over his.

She pulls back after a few seconds. Even from that little she feels lightheaded. Or maybe it's the higher elevation of where they are instead of her own elation.

Rather than speak, they stare at each other. Kylo looks like he's in disbelief, and the second that she starts to feel self-conscious she kisses him again.

This time she presses herself closer. Approaches his mouth from head-on instead of the side. Showers his lips with light pecks and wraps her arms around his neck.

She's so into the feeling of his mouth against hers that she doesn't notice his hand wrapping around her waist. Nearly spanning her and pulling her closer.

And then his lips work against her own. Returning her kiss with hungry enthusiasm.

He licks at her bottom lip and she instinctively opens her mouth so he can go inside. So much of this has been based on that. The natural, animalistic side of her mind taking over when the rest of her doesn't know what to do with herself.

French kissing is weird at first. Slimey and gross and she's not sure that she like how he sucks on her tongue into his mouth.

Until his hands reach lower, cupping and cradling her ass just like they did that morning when he was asleep.

He pulls her on him into a straddle, and the way her legs automatically part to let him move close is pure animal instinct as well.

She moans into his mouth, feeling her blood start to race through her again. Okay, apparently rubbing it out just once a week isn't enough for her. Or for him, judging by the new hardness she's feeling against her inner thigh.

No part of her wants to pull away at that revelation, but she does it anyhow. Grinding against an unconscious man's morning wood is one thing, but now in real life?

"Let's stop this," she whispers, breathless against his lips.

Kylo's fingers tighten, squeezing the flesh of her backside. For one intense moment Rey wonder if he'll listen to her request, then she feels almost disappointed by his decision to nod. Let her go and pull away from her.

"Okay."

That's all he says. He picks her up like she's weightless and sets her back down on the bench before stand up. Faces away from her and leans with an arm against the wall for support.

Rey lets him collect himself. Fidgets with the hem of her shirt.

After a few minutes she suggests they head back down. Go back to their car but maybe try to take a shortcut to save time on the way back.

Kylo mumbles what sounds like an agreement. Rey keeps in front of him to save them both the embarrassment.

They walk back in bashful silence.

At least Rey is bashful. Kylo seems to fluctuate between a nervous frown and awkwardly wide grin.

He holds her hand as they go. Helping her over rocks and fallen trees as they take a more direct but rougher track. Even when he could let her go he doesn't though, and Rey wonders if he can feel how hard her heart is pounding in her chest.

She has just crossed a line. Actually, two lines if you count her morning voyeurism. Shamefully rubbing herself to the irresistible sight of her companion taking care of himself. But now that he knows at least a little about how she's been feeling towards him there's no going back from this.

Is that a good thing? A bad thing? Does she even want to go back?

Rey honestly has no idea. So much of this is pure uncharted territory. But, despite everything telling her not to go falling in over her head, she still holds his hand every bit as tightly as he does to hers.

That night they sleep just out of sight of the highway.

It's nowhere near their nicest or most private spot, but, in a way, that's exactly the point.

The reassuring hum of the occasional traffic keeps them focused. Dinner. Tent. Stay up talking or stargazing until they get tired. Exactly the same routine they've been doing since their beginning together.

Except now she doesn't blink an eye when he makes up his bedroll right next to hers. There are a million excuses she could tell herself about why she allows this, but every last one of them is clouded by one convenient lie or another.

So, when they finally crawl into her too-small tent and zip the door shut, she doesn't say a peep as his arms wrap around her. Pulling her back flush against his chest and bending his legs under hers until every part of her back half is touching his.

Kylo. She whispers it so softly she's not even sure if it's audible.

But he tucks her head under his chin, into that spot where she fits so perfectly, and her breath catches as her body starts to come alive.

This is dangerous.

"I know," he says, mumbling it against a mouthful of her hair. "Now go to sleep."

And, once again, she does.

Author's Note:

This was originally supposed to be ch12 instead of 11 but when I started working on 11 the tone of it was all wrong to lead into this chapter so... Well, it's a little disjointed but the good news is that I'll have one more chapter out on the 15th before I put this fic on pause. So that's not what I had mind, but it all works out in the end.

And poor Kylo. All that standing to attention and it just keeps going to waste. But woohoo, first kiss! What are the odds on them sleeping apart ever again after this? Absolutely none, if Kylo has his say in it. And there's got to be some sort of really dreadful Solo sex joke out there, but I'm just going to take the last of my dignity and leave it at this.