Chapter 11: You Aren't Going To Change Your Mom So Try To Enjoy Her As She Is

The next morning, when Mary awoke (it was still quite early) she felt just awful. It was not merely the crick in her neck from sleeping awkwardly curled up on the loveseat, but a deep mortification about her behavior the previous night. She did not even have the excuse of drinking. Had she really asked Richard to come to bed with her? She felt rather than saw a blush stain her face. She wondered, What does he think of me? She was also deeply embarrassed to recall her discussion about not minding a bun in the oven. Who was she?

When Mary went to the en suite bathroom and began to undress, she examined her bra-clad body in the mirror. It was an ugly bra to be sure, even if it did give her a nice shape. At least it didn't show much more than the one-piece swimsuit he had seen her in before when they took Lacey to swim in the indoor community pool. Had she really sat in just her bra while discussing Richard's vasectomy with him?

Mary wished she could erase all that from her mind and just focus on the proposal and being engaged. It had been wonderful and the ring on her finger had confirmed that it had happened. Mary examined the diamond solitaire. It was a simple arrangement with a modest stone, but Mary loved it and what it meant.

She showered quickly and dressed for church (the emailed itinerary of Lady Catherine had been quite specific that she expected everyone to attend the Episcopal church with her and it did not surprise Mary for one minute that someone like Lady Catherine would attend a "high" church). As she was pulling her dress over her head, she heard a text message come in. She decided to ignore it for now and just finish getting ready. She took comfort in the modest neckline of a dress that she would have worn in her own church to play the piano, but as she examined her reflection in the mirror she wondered what Richard and the rest of the guests would think of it and her.

She imagine her mother shaking her head at her and saying, "Mary, why did you bring that dowdy dress with you? You should show a bit more skin like Lydia did; military men like women who look like women after having to hang out so long with those girl soldiers. You are just impossible when it comes to attracting a man. Now that you've caught the general, you've got to keep him interested. He certainly has an eye for the lookers, that ex of his is a leggy model type. Please tell me that you are at least planning to wear some makeup."

Mary had a sudden desire to flee to her own church, to hide behind the piano and in the familiar rituals that she felt comforted in, where she was just the accompanist and the piano teacher, who everyone was polite to but whom no one thought about for very long. There was a comfortable anonymity in that role.

It was only then that Mary wondered how her replacement was feeling in being expected to play today. Mary had obtained a last minute replacement in one of her advanced students, a high schooler that attended the same church, and Nicole was likely to be nervous as she always underestimated her own skill.

Mary entered the password into her very basic smart phone, noted the time, 7:33 am, ignored the little number that showed her unread text messages, and popped off a quick message to Nicole. You will do great today. I have faith in you.

Then she opened up her inbox and noted the bolded unread messages from Richard, Lady Catherine, Georgiana and Elizabeth. The oldest one was from Elizabeth at 1:16 am, so Mary started with that one.

So, little sis, do you have any big news to announce? I heard when you and Richard came in. I was so tempted to spill all I knew yesterday as Richard was asking me for advice on how to do things right. Dying to know how it all went! He is a keeper for sure.

Mary didn't know how she wanted to respond to that one, so she made no reply and went onto the next one. She was curious as to what Georgiana could be texting her about. Her message was dated 1:34 am.

I'm hoping everything went well and that soon I will get to call you cuz! It is all too romantic. Oh, btw, I am trying to get everyone to contribute to a card I am hoping to get the kids and adults to craft for Aunt Catherine. She's been so kind to us all to host this weekend and today will be a hard day for her. Please stop by the nursery playroom before breakfast if you can.

Mary ignored that one as well. She scrolled to the next one, which had come in at 6:30 am.

Reminder, there will be pastries and fruit in the dining room starting at 7. Everyone must be ready to leave for church services by 9:15. I will be instructing my staff to rouse you all by 8:30 if you have not made an appearance by then. Staff is available to press clothes or help with hair and makeup. We will be having a Mother's Day Brunch after church at about 11:30. This will conclude the formal schedule of events for the weekend but you are all welcome to stay as long as you would like today, but if anyone wants to stay for dinner at 6:30 please inform me by 3:00 so that the cook will know how much food to prepare. There will be snacks and drinks available to take with you on your ride home.

Fortunately that one did not seem to anticipate that any reply would be needed and as Mary had no idea about dinner without asking Richard what his plans were, she had no reply to make.

Finally, she braved opening the messages from Richard and saw that there were four of them.

7:19 am.

Mary are you up? I want to tell everyone today how you've consented to be my bride, but I don't want to do that if you aren't ready for that now or don't want to be a spectacle. I know you aren't all that comfortable being in the limelight. I'll understand if you don't want to wear your ring today; perhaps it is a bit of an odd announcement for Mother's Day.

7:22 am.

I suppose I should warn you that your sister, her husband and Georgiana were all giving me advice. I wanted to make everything perfect for you, darling. I hope that isn't too embarrassing for you. Can we meet and talk?

7:25

Mary, usually you are up by now. Probably you are showering, but I am starting to worry that with everything that happened last night you might be having second thoughts about us. I know I am being silly. I will understand if you just need more time. I really want to talk to you today before we see everyone else. Can we meet somewhere? I love you!

Mary was just about to text a reply when another text came in from Richard.

Now.

Sweetheart, please call or text me. Just tell me that you are okay.

Instead of texting, Mary hit the phone icon. She didn't even hear a ring on her end before Richard was answering, "Hello, Mary, is everything okay?"

"Yes, things are fine, you don't need to worry." Mary's voice sounded odd to herself and she began to wonder even as she said the words, Was everything truly fine? Clearly Richard was afraid of losing her. Did he really want another child or was he just giving himself over to what he thought she wanted.

"Can we meet and talk? Maybe out by the rose garden? It is nice and sunny."

"Give me fifteen minutes," Mary responded, even though she had little she needed to do. Perhaps she would put on a bit of makeup, but that never took her more than five minutes as she was always quite minimal with what she did. Fixing her hair could take more time than that, though.

"Okay, I'll be there before then. I love you, Mary."

"Okay, see you soon." Mary hung up, wondering why she had chickened out and not said "I love you, too," back to him.

She did go ahead and put on a bit of makeup, but only lip balm on her lips. She combed her hair and put it back into a ponytail. As she did so, she noted the few white hairs that now were interspersed with her darker locks. She noticed that her bangs were getting too long. She heard her mother's voice in her head again, "Mary, why do you insist on pulling your hair back like you are some teenager? You need a more sophisticated look, and how about some highlights? Why can't you put more effort into your appearance. I know you say it shouldn't matter, but everyone prefers being around people they find more attractive and Mary, well, you need to work a little harder at it than the rest of your sisters."

Mary tried to ignore her inner mother's voice. She agreed with her mother that it was not the most flattering hairstyle, but it kept her hair out of her face and kept her looking tidy and from getting tangles. She told herself, Richard doesn't care, he asked me to marry him when I was looking like this. Of course a niggling voice in her head said, But it was after he saw you looking your best.

She tried to focus her mind back on the problem she should be thinking about. Did Richard really want another child or was he being like . . . Oh no, maybe he was being like Tom Selleck's character of Richard on the show Friends! She could see that part of the series play in her mind, the gist of it anyway, even if she didn't remember the exact words or the setting. It was when Richard was dating Monica (who was half his age) and they ended up breaking up because he did not want more children, his children from his marriage being grown, and she wanted kids. Mary tried to let that conversation, which she had seen way too many times, play in her head. The character Richard kept saying again, "If I have to" about having children and finally Monica said something to the effect of "I want kids but I don't want them with someone who doesn't want to have them too, and I would let you do it if you didn't say 'If I have to' about a million times" and then of course they broke up.

Mary felt her dreams recede further away. Her Richard was a really good guy, too. His comment about his age compared to the other fathers in Lacey's class struck a chord in her. She knew even if she could have a baby right away that she would be one of those moms who looked old enough to be the grandma, and Richard was almost ten years older than her. Mary wondered to herself if she could be content to just be with Richard, to not be Monica, to not need the opportunity to have children more than the chance to be with a really great guy. Would Monica have acted the same way if she was older and closer in age to her Richard. Mary asked herself, could she give up on having a chance at a child? She pretty much had, before she met and started dating Richard. Would it be so hard to go back to that place again, only this time she would have the great guy and the winsome step-child, in addition to all of her students to pour her love into?

Mary resolved that she needed to frankly talk to Richard about the matter. She decided she was like Monica in that she didn't want to have a baby with a man that didn't want one, too. She said to herself, her voice sounding odd to hear own ears, "He must really love me a lot."

It would be disappointing to be sure if they talked and he was only wanting to make her happy. She thought of how odd it would be to be with a man, with no condoms or pill, and to know that nothing they did could ever lead to a baby. There was no "letting nature take its course" or "let's just see what happens" as nothing ever would as he was shooting blanks.

Mary glanced at her phone again. 7:55 am. It was time to go.

She found Richard pacing, his hair a bit disheveled, as if he'd been running his hands through it, a gesture that she had recognized right away in their dating as one that he shared with her sister's husband. He paused in his pacing and looked toward her as she opened one of the french doors. She was struck by how handsome he was to her, though his appearance was nothing remarkable and certainly objectively not on par with his cousin's though of course Mary knew that she was nothing to any of her sisters. But he was beloved to her, and that made all the difference.

He decisively walked right up to her as she lingered next to the door she had just cut. "Mary, I'm so glad you are here." He leaned forward and gave her a hello kiss as he had so many times before, but her lips stayed passive in that smack. Then he was lightly holding her hand and leading her into the rose garden. Mary was struck by how nice the roses smelled. Around where she lived many people had those Knockout roses as they were much easier to cultivate, but they did not have much scent to them and were not nearly as pretty on close inspection. Of course it did not surprise her that Lady Catherine would have the real thing that was obviously tended by a master gardener.

They wandered a little farther and Mary had the distinct impression that Richard was trying to get her well away from the house where no one would stumble upon them. As they walked they naturally drew closer to one another and as they did, the tension left Richard. Mary was enjoying how everything now seemed as it should, though she was a bit distracted because she was regretting the fact that she was already dressed for church as her sandals were getting wet in the morning dew and were not really designed for long strolls. Richard was perhaps dressed more reasonably in his running shorts and shirt. She envied him his sneakers.

They rounded another corner in the rose garden and Mary saw another person in front of them. She only saw the person's backside and had the impression that it was a woman, more from the enormous and somewhat ridiculous sun hat that shaded the woman's head, than from her faded coveralls. She heard little snip, snip sounds and saw that the woman's sheers were harvesting some roses, which she was placing in a basket hanging off her left arm. Mary simply wondered if this was the gardener or some servant working on a flower arrangement.

As they got closer, it was Richard who made the identification. "Good morning Aunt Catherine."

She turned, surprise evident on her face. "Why Richard, what a pleasant surprise." She glanced at Mary a little dismissively (at least that was the impression Mary had as the great lady's eyes swept up and down on Mary's ensemble) and Mary felt the sudden impulse to hide her ring, quickly wrapping her left hand in her skirt.

It turned out that she had not been quite quick enough as Lady Catherine commented, "I see you have picked a new bride, nephew. I am sure she will be an improvement over that Caroline." Lady Catherine wrinkled her lips in disgust.

Mary didn't know if Lady Catherine's expression was about her or Caroline. She hoped it was the latter but feared it was the former.

"I . . ." Richard turned to look at her, "we . . . are not sure when we want to start telling people."

"Well, they won't hear it from me. Well go on and enjoy your stroll. Oh to be young and in love once more."

Mary and Richard exchanged a glance and Mary felt as if she knew exactly what Richard was saying with his eyes: She is calling us young? Well I suppose to her just about anyone else is young.

Lady Catherine continued, "You had better at least tell Lacey that she's going to get a new Mommy."

Mary spoke up then, "I have no intention of replacing Lacey's mother; she has a mother."

Lady Catherine looked at Mary intently, "Mark my words, Miss Bennet, and don't you forget them. Caroline Bingley may have birthed that child, but she is no true mother to her. Mothers put their children first; they sacrifice for them. That woman has not known any true sacrifice beyond those nine months she was pregnant. From everything I have heard from my brother and his wife, and from you, too, Richard, from what you do not say, she treats Lacey as more like a living doll to be played with when she has a desire, when it fits in with her idea of what she feels like doing, rather than as a flesh and blood child with daily needs. Mary Bennet, if you are anything like your sister Elizabeth, you will earn the place of mother in that child's heart whether she ever calls you mother. Being a mother is not about birthing them, but about raising them, being there for them when they need you, and especially when they think they don't need you. Yes, if you aren't already mother in that child's heart you will be soon enough. You'll be a mother whether you have your own with Richard or not." Lady Catherine gave a decisive nod and the brim of her overly large hat flopped a little as if it were nodding, too.

Mary looked at Richard with slightly wide eyes and he gave her a half smile that said: There is no use arguing with her (and maybe also, she is right). Then instead of addressing the matter, he merely said, "We will see you for church, Aunt Catherine."

They walked on for a bit until they were well away from Lady Catherine. It was peaceful and bright and it was very pleasant to be walking hand in hand. Mary did not want to spoil it with words. Finally, though, it was Richard who broke the silence. "She is right."

Before Mary could inquire as to what, he added, "We should tell Lacey at least. You know, Lacey gave me permission. I believe her exact words were something like, 'You mean we get to keep her?'"

Mary imagined seeing Lacey saying those words and she teared up a bit. She felt very happy, the happy of the night before. "Well, then let's go tell her, before we tell everyone else."

"Are you really ready; are you sure?" Richard looked a little vulnerable then. "I know I messed up not talking to you about it earlier; I am sorry."

"Yes, Richard, I am sure. That is stuff we can sort out later. Whatever we decide, well, I'm not letting you back out now." Mary gave him a slightly mischievous half smile and a raised eyebrow and for a minute Richard was reminded of her sister Elizabeth, but then the moment was gone.

"Do you have your phone on you?" Richard asked.

Mary was confused, but she pulled it out of her pocket to show Richard that she had it (the fact that this dress had pockets was one of the things that Mary liked about it, even if it was slightly old fashioned with its full skirt which camouflaged the pockets). Surely Lacey did not have a phone and even if she did, Mary could not imagine that this would be the best way to tell her.

"Do you think your mother is up? I have a feeling Mrs. Bennet would never let you or me forget it, if you don't call and tell her first."

"Oh, I see you are angling to be her favorite son-in-law," Mary said, "I warn you, though, you might not like that much attention."

Richard smirked, "Just call her already, and tell her it was my idea."

Mary hit the phone icon beside the "Mom" listing. After three rings her mother said, "Hello Mary, why are you calling so early . . . " Mary hit the speaker phone icon and Fanny Bennet's voice filled all of the outdoors, "Did Richard propose?"

"Mom!" Mary tried to sound cross, "Why do you keep asking me that?"

"Well, I know that one of these days its going to be true."

Richard put a finger up in front of his lips signaling Mary to be silent. He mouthed, "Let me have this one."

Mary nodded her agreement.

"Mrs. Bennet, last night your daughter Mary made me the happiest of men when she agreed to be my wife."

"Mary, it is true?! This better not be a joke or you will be breaking your mother's heart." Mrs. Bennet's voice boomed even louder.

"Yes, Mom, we are engaged."

"Tom! Tom!" They heard the static as her mother put her own phone on speaker mode.

"What is it?" Mary and Richard heard her father grumble. "I am trying to sleep. We have more than an hour before we have to get up. Who called you so early."

"It is Mary and Richard!" She screeched loudly.

"Somebody better be getting married or have died," Mr. Bennet grumbled.

"Mr. Bennet?" Richard addressed Mary's father.

"Yes?"

"I have proposed to your daughter, she has accepted and I would ask for your blessing."

"Oh you did, did you? Mary, are you happy with this arrangement?"

"Very much, Papa."

"Then you both have my blessing. Ah, there will be no getting back to sleep now. And by the way, Richard, given that we are to be family, this Mr. Bennet business has got to stop. You'd better start calling me Tom."

"Oh Mary, who have you told? There are so many people I must call! Everyone will want to know. Have you set a date? Where will you get married? Where do you plan to register?"

"Happy Mother's Day, Mom."

"Oh thanks, Mary, happy Mother's Day to you, too. Now where was I, ah yes, my sister ought to be awake by now and if she isn't she won't mind getting woken up. I really need to go now Mary, everyone will want to know. Text me with a picture of the ring and a picture of the two of you, too. Now please tell me that you got someone to take a picture or better yet video when he proposed."

Mary and Richard exchanged glances that said, She is being really ridiculous, but it is nice that she is happy for us.

"No, we didn't," Mary told her.

"Mary, in this day and age?! Oh well, I've got to run, there are so many calls to make."

Then there was a click and the phone call ended.

"You know that everyone will know in probably the next half-an-hour," Richard told Mary, a half smile on his face. "I wouldn't be surprised if you sister Elizabeth hears about it from your mom instead of you."

"Ah, it is better this way. The word will get out with a lot less effort than it would take me and she will enjoy all the attention much more than me," Mary responded.

"Really, then, it was the perfect Mother's Day present for her, then, wasn't it?"

Mary nodded, "At this rate you really will become her favorite!"